


The Rainbow

by addict_writer



Category: Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-08
Updated: 2015-03-08
Packaged: 2018-02-03 21:23:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 40
Words: 119,066
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1757397
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/addict_writer/pseuds/addict_writer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Socially awkward twink, Edward, meets Jasper, the manwhore, in front of Rainbow club. Edward tries everything in his power to change Jasper's ways and show him the wonders of a relationship. Written for Fandom Against Juvenile Diabetes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own anything Twilight related, not even the general idea really since the story is inspired by Queer as Folk.  
> I'd like to dedicate this to Nancy, my amazing beta! It's her birthday and this is probably the only way I could thank her...through writing. Damn, living on the wrong continent. So Happy Birthday, hon! I know how much you love these boys.

__

_Watch that man! Oh honey, watch that man_

_He talks like a jerk but he could eat you with a fork and_  
spoon  
 _Watch that man! Oh honey, watch that man_  
 _He walks like a jerk_  
 _But he's only taking care of the room_  
 _Must be in tune_

**David Bowie – Watch That Man**

"Holy fuck!"

"If you say that one more time…" Bella threatened, shaking her finger.

"I can't stop!" I grinned, keeping my arm around her shoulders.

"Well, let's see…" She finally caved to my pathetic behavior. "You're grinning like a lunatic, you're blushing like hell, you've been walking funny all morning, and you're wearing yesterday's clothes—you got laid!"

I glanced around the cafeteria, trying to conceal the permanent smile on my face…in vain.

"You can say that." I tried to act nonchalant, when on the inside I was bursting to tell her everything.

"Who's the lucky one?" she asked, sweeping her eyes around the room. "Not any of these losers, right?"

"Puh-lease, girl!" I rolled my eyes. "They don't know, remember?" I shook my head at her silliness. "Anyway," I dragged the word, leaning into her side.

"Tell me, Edward," Bella urged impatiently.

"Are you aware of the club Rainbow?" I bit my lip nervously.

"Every gay person knows of it. Not that I'm gay. Not that being gay is a bad thing. Ungh." She giggled, embarrassed. "You've been talking about it for ages."

I beamed at her, hoping she'd put two and two together.

"You didn't!" She gasped. "You're a minor, and besides sex, there are drugs and alcohol and maybe serial killers!"

"Chill," I grunted. "Don't ruin my buzz."

"Your buzz?" she asked, raising her eyebrows.

I nodded, grin back in place.

"So you've finally done the deed…in the Backroom of Rainbow? Gah! What happened to waiting for Prince Charming?"

"I met him!" I gushed, taking her hands in mine.

"In a club?" She gave me a skeptical look.

"What's wrong with that? Many people find love in the wrong places."

"Oh, fine! So who is he? Anyone I know? How many teenagers can go to a club?"

"He's not exactly a teenager," I said quietly. _She's going to flip when she hears his age._

"Sweet, Edward. You slept with a college student?" Her eyebrows shot up in surprise.

I chewed on my bottom lip. "He's a psychologist."

"Practicing? Training?"

"No. He has his own company."

"So young? Some spoiled brat?"

I shook my head. "He's kinda…thirty."

"Sorry, but I suddenly became deaf. Could you repeat that last part?"

"Bella, don't give me that." I looked pleadingly at her.

"Give you what? Are you sure you wanted to sleep with him? He didn't molest you or anything?"

"Nooo!" I had never felt more mortified. "You're my best friend. I thought you'd understand."

"Only friend," she muttered, but I could tell she regretted it. Her sad eyes betrayed her, though the words cut through me. "Holy shit. I'm sorry, Edward."

I made to get up from the table, but she stood too, hugging me tightly.

"Sorry, hon. Sit back down and tell me about him."

Huffing—annoyed at myself and how my soft spot for Bella made me always forgive her—I did as told, slumping back in my chair.

 _I was in the line, hoping to get inside, when_ he _came out. He was one hot specimen._

_I couldn't look away, even if I tried. The dark blond-haired guy was smoking hot, emphasis on smoking. He was currently flipping his Zippo at the end of the cigarette lolling from his mouth._

_Those lips…fuck._

_That was my cue. Why wait in vain to get inside the blasted club when everything I wanted was outside, mere feet away from me?_

_Determined, I broke from the line and held my lighter to his mouth. I wasn't a smoker, but I always had a lighter on me._

_He peered down at me—deep, slightly clouded, blue eyes—and I was a goner._

_Bending his head closer and cocking it to the side, he cupped a hand around his smoke, all the while staring at me intensely and made me fumble to light his cigarette. I couldn't take my eyes off him, watching mesmerized as small puffs of smoke left his mouth and nose._

_I'd never felt so incapacitated before, not even when I came out to my best friend. Bella was actually happy we could gush together over hot actors._

_Hearing his warm voice speaking to me made me high on him. "I've never seen you around here. Are you new in town?"_

" _Lived here all my life," I answered automatically, staring captivated at his lips._

" _I'd have remembered such a pretty face as yours," he commented around his cigarette._

_I shrugged, blushing and feeling like a total idiot._

" _Want to see my bedroom ceiling?"_

 _I gaped at him, not understanding the meaning of his proposal. What could be different about his ceiling?_ You've seen one, you've seen all. _Maybe he needed ideas on renovation, but what an odd thing to ask his…trick. Was I his trick?_

" _Uh, sure. My mom's an interior designer." I knew a thing or two about designing a room._

" _How sweet." He flicked ash on the pavement at his feet. "So are you coming with me?"_

Coming being the key word. _I nodded frantically, smiling from ear to ear._

_He smirked and spun on his heel, walking the other way. I stared dumbly after him. Did I do something to offend him?_

_When he reached the corner of the street, he glanced back, frowning. "Coming, or what?"_

" _Oh." I felt so stupid as I rushed after him like an eager pup._

_He led the way to a black slick BMW._

" _Cool ride," I said, admiring the polished car. I was still driving mom's old Volvo, silently hoping for a better, manlier car—like this one._

_My companion smiled widely, showing me his pearly white teeth, making me wonder how much he paid his dentist. Smoking and having white teeth? On what planet? But his handsome face distracted me quickly. He was too freaking hot…and that mouth of his. My dick hardened at the thought of his lips around it._

" _This is my new shiny toy," he said proudly, pressing a button on the remote in his hand. "It's the i8."_

" _The newest model?" My mouth dropped in surprise. He must be loaded. I wondered exactly how old he was, because he didn't look a day over twenty-five, and to have that kind of money at such a young age…_

_He opened the door, showing me how it worked—it was a lambo door, of course._

_Once inside the vehicle, I felt like my usual awkward self. At least, I'd been inspired to wear my contacts and not look like a nerd in my glasses._

_We drove in silence, listening to his music choice. I was surprised to hear Cher's early work, like_ I Feel Something In The Air _and_ The Way Of Love. _I guessed every gay man loved Cher. She was one of my all-time favorites._

 _The ride lasted about half an hour. He lived on the outskirts of Pittsburgh, in Brentwood. I lived on the other side of the city, on 44_ _th_ _Street. But I decided not to worry about how I'd get back, or what my parents would do when I didn't show up at home later that night._

_Living in the now was my new motto._

_The blond hottie whose name I didn't know, and I had a feeling it would remain a mystery even after tonight, lived in a large house. It had two floors._

_He unlocked the front door, and after I stepped in after him, he locked up, punching a key code in his alarm system._

" _Come," he commanded, walking up the stairs._

_Of what I could see, the place was pretty neat for a single man. I hoped he was single, but it wasn't like I could go anywhere now._

_He started undressing on the way to his room. His jacket was abandoned on the floor at the top of the stairs, then his tie followed, his shirt, his belt, and when we reached his room, he took his pants off._

_I gaped at his muscular body—he had the most perfect six pack I'd ever seen, and I'd only ever seen it in pictures._

" _Are you going to gawk at me, or take your clothes off and join me?" he drawled, stepping out of his briefs and socks._

_Holy fucking shit! He was huge._

_I wanted to fall to my knees and worship that cock. After hastily taking my clothes off, feeling very self-conscious about my lanky teenage body, I walked to him and accidentally tripped over his underwear. The action made me fall at his feet…in the position I desired in my mind, but was too afraid to act on it._

_He chuckled, helping me up on my knees._

" _If you wanted to suck me, you could have asked."_

_I looked between his face and his hard dick a couple of times until I settled for his cock. I opened my mouth as wide as I thought was necessary, before wrapping my lips around him. He hissed in pleasure. I could see through my half closed eyelids that his head was tipped back._

_I'd never felt so proud of myself as in that moment._

" _Yeah, suck me deeper," he pleaded._

_I did as told and nearly choked myself. He put his hands at the back of my neck, easing his dick out of my mouth._

No! _I pouted, realizing he thought I was terrible at it…which I was. I'd never sucked anyone off. Heck, he was my first real experience since I started exploring my sexuality._

" _We can try this later." He lifted me up so we were almost nose to nose. "Now, I want to fuck you," he whispered, making it sound like a dirty secret._

_I moaned, taking hold of my aching dick._

_Smirking, he pushed me on the bed, where I tumbled down on my back sprawling my body awkwardly on the mattress._

_After rummaging through his nightstand, he placed on the bed a bottle of lube and a foil._

_Shit! This was the moment._

Should I tell him I've never done it before?

Would he read too much into it? _I didn't want to blow my chance at getting fucked._

" _Nervous?" he asked gently._

_I only nodded, watching as he uncapped the lube and poured some on his hand, before rubbing both hands together._

" _First time?"_

_I nodded again, unable to find my voice._

" _I'll go slowly. Now, if you'd lean back and raise your knees…"_

_I quickly complied, not sure why he wanted me on my back. I thought gay sex was only from behind._

_Jeez. I really needed the balls to browse this on the Internet._

_The first time he touched me there, I jumped, not expecting his move, but as he eased the muscle, I discovered how pleasurable being touched_ there _was. He worked me gently with a finger, then added another. I started building for my impeding orgasm, and he noticed, because he twisted his hand, his nails scraping against something deep inside me. That made me explode._

_I came around from my high by a sharp pain from my ass._

_He was inching his covered dick inside me._

_Fuck! It hurt._

_I tried to push him away with my hand on his tight abdomen, but he didn't budge._

" _Relax. The discomfort will be gone soon."_

_I wanted to believe him, so I tried to relax. The pain subsided only after his fourth push and pull. When I bucked into him, seeking pleasure, he grinned. His hand smoothed my hair out of my eyes._

" _You're so pretty."_

I am? _I wanted to question his statement, but all that came out my mouth was an embarrassingly loud moan._

_He fucked me slowly until all I felt was pleasure, and I was begging for more. It was all he needed as he started pounding into me so hard and fast the bed springs groaned in protest._

_When he came, he took me with him a second time._

_Speedy recovery time was probably the only good thing about being a teenager._

_We lay sprawled on his bed, basking in the afterglow. I dozed off, too tired to focus on what he was talking about. The last thought I had before I fell asleep was that I hadn't even had a good look at his bedroom ceiling._

"And? Don't stop now!" Bella protested when I stopped talking.

I chuckled. "He woke me a few times during the night and we tried different positions."

"So…does he know you're a minor? What's his name?"

Bella's Inquisition wasn't over.

"Of course, he doesn't know! His name is Jasper Whitlock. I saw it on his business card on the counter in the kitchen. He drove me back to the club where I'd left the car last night," I explained.

"Holy shit! Your mom must be worried sick."

"I'll lie and say I spent the night at your place." I winked.

"Don't be surprised when our moms start planning our wedding. You have to tell your mom the truth, Edward."

"She'll hate me. Dad will disown me."

"If you think like that from the start…"

"I can envision the conversation, Bella. It will end in tears for all parties involved." I shuddered.

"Whatever. Let's head to class. By the way, are you seeing him again?" she asked as we made our way out of the cafeteria.

"We didn't establish anything. Hoping I'm not grounded forever, I'll head back to Rainbow tonight and seek him out."

"Luck. Though, I have a bad feeling about this. He seems to be an ONS kinda guy."

"One night stand? Don't be absurd. We shared something."

"Your virginity," she whispered, dissolving in a fit of giggles.

I scowled, refusing to believe she was right. Before we reached Biology, I was laughing along with her.


	2. Chapter 2

_This doesn't happen to me ev'ryday (oh my)_   
_Let's spend the night together_   
_No excuses offered anyway (oh my)_   
_Let's spend the night together_   
_I'll satisfy your every need (every need)_   
_And I now know you will satisfy me_   
_Let's spend the night together_   
_Now I need you more than ever_   
_Let's spend the night together now_

**The Rolling Stones – Let's Spend The Night Together**

"It's been a whole week!" I whined to Bella. She was such a good listener. She put up with me all the time.

"I hate to say it, but I told you, for him it was only a one night stand."

"But what we shared…" I pouted.

"He probably fools everyone like that. He didn't care it was your first time or that you might like him."

"Like him? I fell for him!" We fell silent at my outburst and stared at the door, waiting for any sign of disturbing her parents. When no one came bursting in her room, I fell back on the bed with a hand over my eyes.

"Try going back to the club."

"I've been there every night! I waited for him in the alley. He always left with a different guy. He didn't even look at me."

"Maybe he didn't see you?"

I gritted my teeth. "I'm going back tonight. I'll get in the club and find him and confront him."

"That's the right attitude, honey!" Bella cheered me on, patting my thigh. "Though, I'll leave the window open in case you want to come here after he breaks your heart."

"You're such an _optimist._ I knew there was a reason I was friends with you!" I rolled my eyes, turning around and pressing my face into the pillow.

"I'm being realistic, Edward! But if you want my advice—be yourself. You have no idea how charming you are."

She rubbed a hand over my back, before hugging me. "I'm sorry, sweetie," she whispered against my neck.

"Why?" I mumbled into the pillow.

"Your first turned out to be an asshole."

"I'm going to try again tonight. If it doesn't work, I'll forget him."

"Good. Let's make you pretty."

She pulled me off the bed, toward the clothes I brought over. Bella chose a pair of jeans and spread them on the bed, before grabbing a pair of scissors.

"Whoa! This is my favorite pair!" I lunged to stop her.

"Do you want to look hot and old enough to be in that club?" When I didn't answer, she smirked. "I thought so."

She worked on ripping my jeans, before going through my shirts. None struck her fancy, because she walked to her closet.

"No way!" I protested. "I may be queer, but you won't catch me dead in women's clothes!"

"Stop being like this! I'm only trying to help. You know me, honey. I own mostly men's clothes."

I sighed in defeat as I put on the jeans. One cut was above my right knee, the other under my left butt cheek. At least the tears were small and looked like I'd caught the fabric on something, not an ugly cut at all. Bella was the master of modifying clothes.

"Here. Try this on. I've never worn it."

She threw me a green shirt. It looked no different than my own clothes, but when I turned it around, I saw several cuts across the chest and it was kinda glittery. Against my better judgment, I shrugged it on. When I stood in front of the mirror, I didn't recognize the boy staring back at me. He looked like a man, one who belonged in Rainbow and in Jasper's bed.

Bella insisted on applying black eyeliner on my lower lids, then she pushed me to wear the glasses.

"Everyone loves nerds. Trust me."

I was ready to face Jasper Whitlock and play his game. He'd want me after tonight was over.

Bella drove me to Rainbow, kissed me goodbye, then left, but not before I promised to text her whatever happened—good or bad.

As I walked to the line, I saw him. He was leaning casually against the wall, smoking and chatting with another guy. This one didn't look like his usual guys. They had the same body language I had with Bella, which meant they were friends.

I approached as purposeful as I could, now being so close to him. My nerves skyrocketed, and monstrous butterflies danced wildly in my stomach.

"Hey," I said, biting my lip.

The other guy turned to me first and gave me a once over. My leather jacket covered the ripped shirt, but he could see my jeans. Did I look like I fit in? He wore bright yellow pants and a fluffy pink jacket—definitely not my style. He stood out amongst the guys around us.

"Hello?" He frowned at me.

Jasper finally turned, considering his friend was distracted by my presence. Something flashed in his eyes when he saw me. A slow smirk formed on his lips. "Even though you changed your appearance, I still won't fuck you again. Rile, this is my personal stalker." He gestured to me. "I had guys begging for a second round before, but this one has been here every night ever since we fucked," he told his friend in an even voice. "Come on, let's head inside. I'm sick of waiting for the drama queen."

Jasper threw the butt of his cigarette at my feet before going inside the club, without a second glance my way.

All my dreams were crushed. My plans of being strong, gone. I wanted to plant my ass on the cold asphalt and cry. I had high hopes he'd be just as happy to see me, though with what he said…he'd been aware of my stalking, which proved what an asshole he was.

"Don't take it personally," Rile said softly, touching my shoulder. "Jazz doesn't fuck the same person twice."

"Well, go and tell your friend he's an asshole with a capital A!" I choked out, brushing an angry tear off my cheek.

"Come and tell him yourself. By the way, I'm Riley."

"Edward," I grumbled, following him inside the club. I was immediately assaulted by a loud thumping beat, colors flashing every direction from the lights on the ceiling and a mass of sweaty bodies dancing.

It was so much better than what I expected, but I didn't have time to admire the view. I had to find Jasper and give him a piece of my mind.

He was easy to spot—every guy around him stared his way—but he was busy dancing with a burly guy. They were so close, too close. It made my blood boil with anger.

I stomped towards them, pushed them apart, then took Jasper's face between my hands and kissed him roughly. He responded after a beat, probably shocked by my behavior.

I could tell our lips would be bruised, but I didn't care. We kissed until we needed to breathe. It was the best kiss of my life—all my kisses happened with him, if I didn't count that one when Bella and I experimented a few years back. We had decided right away to forget it ever happened.

"Damn, I must have been too drunk to remember what a good kisser you are."

I beamed, pride filling my heart. "Do you remember my ass, too? It misses you."

I had no idea where this courage was coming from, but I wasn't going to let it go, to let _him_ go. Not without a fight. So I spun around and pressed my ass into his groin. He was hard, but so was I.

_Hell yes! I turned him on._

Slowly, Jasper started moving his hips, lifting my arms above my head. The gesture was liberating. The beat of the song was haze-inducing, and I rotated my hips, keeping my arms in the air. My head fell back against his shoulder and he grinned down at me.

"You look adorable with glasses," he murmured in my ear, licking around the shell.

I blushed furiously, glad the multicolor lights didn't allow him to see my pink face.

"They're a must," I admitted. "I hate contacts…"

"You look better with these glasses." Jasper leaned in for another kiss.

We danced a few more songs, before he led the way to the bar. I noticed the burly man talking to Riley.

"Damn, he moved on fast."

"That's Peter, our friend."

"Oh…weren't you waiting for him outside?"

"He was already in here, the prick. What do you want to drink?"

"Beer," I said quickly.

He gave me a speculative look before ordering. Maybe I should have given him a specific brand, but I didn't know what to say.

For the rest of the night, Jasper danced with me, and Riley stole me for one dance. He told me that _I'm the exception to the rule_. I had no idea what he meant until we left. The blond god led me to his fancy car to take me home. Again. For the second time.

During the car ride, I texted Bella saying, **I AM THE EXCEPTION! xo xo**

****

Since it was Friday night and my parents were gone until Monday, I made it my mission to spend the entire weekend with Jasper. He didn't seem to mind. Especially not on Saturday morning when I woke him up by trying to figure out how to give him a blow job. I must have done it right, because a few minutes later, he shot his load down my throat. I had to thank Bella and her magazines.

We didn't leave the house.

The first round took place right in the foyer, against the wall—the reunion was so raw and carnal, exactly what I needed. I enjoyed every moment. The next time was in the shower, then in his bed, the carpet in front of his bed, in the kitchen, on the stairs—everywhere. I didn't even care how sore I'd be, I had the best weekend of my life.

The euphoria disappeared on Monday morning. We were in his bathroom, brushing our teeth, side by side.

"Do you want me to drive you home?" he asked, meeting my eyes in the mirror.

I couldn't risk running into my parents as I sneaked in the house before they left for work. It would raise too many questions.

"Uh, no. Maybe I could burrow one of your shirts, though. Mine isn't exactly school-approved." I didn't realize what I said until he spat the toothpaste and stared at me in horror.

"How old are you?" The fear in his voice was visible in his eyes.

"Is my age a problem?" Why did adults make such a big deal of age difference? When one of the two involved is under twenty, it wouldn't matter if they were older.

"If you're a minor…" He took a shuddering breath, gripping the edge of the sink. "Tell me you're legal."

I looked down into the sink, feeling tears gathering in my eyes. This was the end of our short relationship.

"Edward, tell me. I'll try to be understanding."

I gulped thickly and found his endless blue eyes staring at me expectantly. Maybe lying was my escape, though I was a shitty liar. It was worth a shot. I'd do anything to keep him around longer, because he surely wouldn't want to see me again when he learned my age.

"Nineteen." There. Not too young, not too old.

He raised an eyebrow, fighting off a smirk, and I flushed.

"Eighteen?"

It sounded like a question even to my ears. I groaned loudly. I was secretly glad I hadn't gone to Rainbow last summer when I discovered it. If I met him then, when I was sixteen, he'd have probably died of shock; not like seventeen was much of a difference.

"Okay! Fine. I'm seventeen. Big fucking deal."

Jasper palmed his face. "I had two fucking simple rules—never fuck the same guy twice, and never do an underage twink. You're both." He looked angry. I had no idea if the ire was aimed at me or at himself.

"Riley said I'm the exception," I told him after a while.

"Well, Riley will lose some teeth next time I see him."

"Why are you so angry? It's not like you made me do anything I didn't want to, and I'm not running to the cops, either."

"Are you mentally incapacitated?" he snapped, glaring.

That stung like a motherfucker. It made my gut burn. "I'm not going to tell anyone. Hell, no one knows I'm gay. Besides Bella." I tried to make him understand I'd never turn him in or shout to the world that an older guy fucked me.

"Your BFF?" He grimaced.

"All I told you the past two days it's true. Please, Jasper. I hope you can see I'm not the average teenager."

"Go, grab a shirt. I'll drive you to…school." He cringed, as if the word hurt him.

He didn't acknowledge my presence until we were in the car, where he made sure I'd buckled myself correctly in the seat, before peeling off.

I called Bella to bring my bag to school, letting her know I was on my way. She sounded excited.

Once Jasper parked in front of the old school, a sense of dread filled me. It paralyzed me. This was the last time I would ever see him.

"Don't start weeping like a little queen," he threatened.

That opened the flood gates. Exasperated, he turned, reaching out a hand to touch me, but if he did that it would hurt even more when he left. I got out of the car in a hurry, but didn't get very far. Actually, I'd only managed to close the door when I felt his hands on my shoulders. I tensed, but allowed him to turn me around. When his arms wrapped around me, I sagged in his embrace, allowing the tears to fall freely.

"Shh. Don't cry. Here, have my card." He placed his business card in my hand. "I don't want to see you anywhere near Rainbow. You're too young for that shit."

That meant he wanted to see me somewhere else? I clutched the card in my hand, wrapping my arms around his neck. Jasper—I wanted to remember how he felt, the smell of his cigarettes and cologne.

He leaned back against the side of his car, then we were kissing. Our lips moved in sync, making me want to spend all my life doing just that. I could care less who saw us. All that mattered was Jasper wanted to see me again.

He broke the kiss first, pushing me away, his eyes somewhere behind me. "I hope the crazy girl running to us is your friend and not some homophobe. It's too much drama for a Monday morning."

I peeked over my shoulder and sure enough, Bella was coming to us with a big smile on her face.

"Hi!" she said. "You must be Prince Charming."

Never in a million years had I thought Bella could embarrass me in a way that could rival Mom. I was wrong.

Jasper chuckled, catching my eyes. "You got me mixed up with the bad guy. Nice to meet you, too." He winked at Bella. "Later." He tapped my nose, walking to the other side of the car and sliding inside.

"Holy smokes, Edward! That was one hot kiss!" Bella clapped her hands once Jasper was gone.

"Did anyone see it?" I asked, suddenly worried.

"I don't think so." She handed me my backpack. "Tell me everything!"

I grinned at her eagerness. On our way to first class, I managed to sum up our weekend, skipping the details.

I couldn't wait to see Jasper again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you want to see the characters, go to my group on facebook (Addicted-to-romione-bedward Fanfiction), link on my profile here.


	3. Chapter 3

_I want your sex_   
_I want your love_   
_I want your… Sex_

_It's natural_   
_It's chemical (let's do it)_   
_It's logical_   
_Habitual (can we do it?)_   
_It's sensual_   
_But most of all..._   
_Sex is something we should do_   
_Sex is something for me and you_

**George Michael – I Want Your Sex Part I**

* * *

 

**Jasper J. Whitlock, M.D.**

**Child and adolescent psychologist**

**Brandon, Peterson and Whitlock Clinic**

I stared at the card in my hand the whole day. There were also a few telephone numbers and e-mail addresses.

I idly wondered if this was a joke. That first morning when I spied his card, I had only seen his name and the word psychologist. But now, seeing his branch of specialty, it made me wonder about him.

Did he give me the card as my boyfriend, or as a doctor worried about a teenager's behavior?

In the end, it was Bella who convinced me to call and ask. I had nothing to lose, she said. I had everything to lose, I knew.

I decided to wait and give him some time, not wanting to look eager to be around him, even though I missed him already.

At home, Mom greeted me at the door, smiling.

"Darling! I've missed you. How was your weekend at Bella's?" Her voice dropped a few octaves when she mentioned Bella. Maybe my friend was right. Maybe our moms were indeed secretly planning out wedding.

"It was great. We watched movies and did our homework," I lied.

She didn't pick up on that, looking distracted, as always.

"Lovely." She patted my cheek. "When are you off to see Mr. Brown?"

 _I just got home. Cut me some slack, besides…_ "It's Monday. I see Mr. Brown on Tuesdays and Ms. Hale on Thursdays," I reminded her with a roll of my eyes.

_You can act like you missed me, not only say the words, but five minutes in my company and you want to get rid of me._

"Oh, right. I'm sorry, darling. I'm waiting for an important phone call so I'm a little immersed."

_Sure, use big words to look more important than you are._

"I'll be in my room," I muttered, taking the stairs two at a time.

We always had the same meaningless conversations.

She loved to keep me busy; violin lessons, piano lessons, and in the past, she had even enrolled me in karate (but after I broke my arm, she realized it wasn't for me). There were also swimming lessons at some point, where I nearly drowned after the coach pushed me in the water saying everyone had survival instincts. I didn't, and it took an older guy to pull me out.

So I stuck with the music. I loved it.

Lying on my bed, I played with my phone for a while, before I finally got the balls to dial Jasper's mobile number.

"Dr. Whitlock," he answered promptly.

_Doctor Doctor, gimme the news, I got a, Bad case of lovin' you._

Yeah, right. As if I had the courage to say that.

"Hello?" He sounded irked when I didn't say anything.

"Hi. Hey. It's Edward, you know…"

"I know." Jasper sighed, mumbling something that sounded like _I should have known_. "Can I help you with anything?"

That was so professional of him. "Why did you give me your card?"

 _Fucking idiot!_ I smacked myself in the head with the pillow.

I could hear Jasper laughing. "Because you're the exception," he replied once he calmed down.

My heart doubled in speed. "So, it's not because you think I'm crazy and I might need you…professionally?"

"No, kid. Nothing like that."

_Kid! I'm not a kid!_

"Having that covered, do you want anything else? I have a client in ten," he said softly.

"Oh. Uh, no. That's all." _I just wanted to hear your voice. I'm pathetic, I know._

"In that case, we'll talk later." He hung up, leaving me gaping at the wall in front of me. In the wallpaper taped there, Freddie was staring back at me from his position lounged in front of the bike. It was my favorite scene from the video clip _Crazy Little Thing Called Love_.

 _What was that?_ I wondered.

He said later. Later meant he'd call me. He had my number now.

I was so giddy I had to express my mood somehow, and what better way than playing?

I picked my violin and positioned it carefully on my shoulder, before closing my eyes and letting the music pour out of me. The joyful melody soon turned into something I'd never tried, but it reminded me of our weekend spent at Jasper's—full of passion and a fuck fest. When a hair on the bow snapped, I stopped, surprised. I'd seen it with great violinists, but I had no idea I could play so violently to destroy the bow.

Putting the instrument aside, I grabbed a clean music sheet. The notes I scribbled came in perfect harmony, creating a crazy song which was a perfect replica of what I felt around Jasper.

Mr. Brown had always told me when I found something that inspired me to write music, to never let it go. I wasn't planning on leaving Jasper any time soon.

I wrote like a maniac, and only snapped out of the trance when a knock on my door let me know dinner was ready.

I looked around at the mess—papers and pencils with broken points everywhere––then I shrugged and went downstairs. I was fulfilled, and couldn't wait to get the courage to tell Mr. Brown about the song.

To my surprise, both my parents were at the table, talking and drinking; gin for Dad, martini for Mom.

Zafrina, our cook and maid, brought the food into the room. She smiled at me, and I smiled back, taking my seat next to Mom.

This woman had been around more than my own mother. She practically raised me.

When we began eating, the same stupid questions were fired at me.

_How is school? How is Bella? How are my music classes? Do I need more money for myself? Have I been good in their absence?_

Same old, same old.

But never once did they ask if I was happy, or if I needed someone to talk to…like a parent. I bet Bella was already sick of my whining.

After dinner was over, everyone went to their respective room, not giving a shit about the others. Dad locked himself in his study, Mom in the master bedroom, and I slammed the door of my room.

It was a maddening routine. It had always been like this. When I was younger, I thought it happened to every family, questions over questions, fake hugs and smiles then off to their rooms.

But then I grew up and befriended Bella. On my sleepovers there, her mother constantly checked on us, asking if we needed more snacks or drinks, or simply poking her head in the room to see us. It made me realize my family was dysfunctional.

I had to wait three days for Jasper to return my call.

I was on the way home after meeting Ms. Hale for my piano lessons, which were more practice for the recital I had in only two weeks. If I impressed the jury, I could get a free one-way ticket to Juilliard.

It was late on a rainy Thursday evening, and I was walking home because Mom was too busy with her group of stuck-up, high-class friends to come get me. That was when Jasper called.

"Hi!" I answered.

"Hello, Edward. Is it a bad time to call?" His warm voice made me forget I was in the cold rain, making my way home.

"Not at all."

"Horrible weather, huh?"

"Tell me about it." I sneezed, cursing in my head. Damn, that was really embarrassing.

"Bless you," he said, amused. "So I was wondering…do you have any plans for tomorrow night?"

 _Is he asking me out?_ Holy shit.

"Nope." Then I remembered my promise to Bella to have a movie marathon. "Actually, I don't know…"

"Well, let me know if you change your mind. You know where to find me."

"Okay. I'll call and—"

He hung up before I could give him a feeble excuse. That was so rude!

_Why does he keep hanging up me? Do I bore him? Do I talk too much?_

Next day at school, I cornered Bella at her locker.

"You're nervous about something. You always push your glasses up your nose when you're nervous."

"About tonight…I'm not sure I can make it." I dug my toe in the metal of the locker.

"Got a hot date?" She grinned, grabbing my wrist.

"He doesn't date. I think I'll meet him at the club and surprise him."

"Good plan. Let me know how it goes, and don't worry about me."

I was about to protest that she was my best friend and of course I'd worry about her being alone, but then I saw her eyeing Alec, the new guy at our school. He looked like a decent kinda guy, laid back and definitely avoiding drama. I shared English with him, and maybe I could play Cupid. It was the least I could do for Bella.

That night was easy to sneak out of the house. I didn't even try dressing up to impress him. I just threw on a pair of black jeans, a band t-shirt, my Chucks, and a leather jacket. Late October weather sucked.

I walked to Rainbow, considering it wasn't that far away, and I needed to muster all my courage to go near Jasper again. Maybe I should have called. If he was there with someone else, I wasn't sure how I'd react. I wanted to be brave and claim my territory.

I arrived late at the club in hopes to get Jasper and leave, ready to spend another wonderful night with him.

My heart sank when I saw him exiting the club with a new guy. He had an arm around the dude's neck and they were kissing, stumbling their way to the car.

I was closer to his car and hurried there, leaning against the door and folding my arms across my chest. I could picture how unaggressive I looked, but I tried my best. He promised, and when I didn't call back he went after someone else? It hurt.

"Get lost," Jasper barked at me, not looking in my direction, busy exploring the guy's mouth.

"I don't think so, honey. I'm the designated driver. You're too drunk to drive," I said as sweetly as possible. My smile widened when his head snapped up and a look of disbelief appeared on his face.

"Keys, please." I extended my hand, not looking away from his dilated blue eyes.

"You're in a relationship? I'm outta here!" The other dude hightailed it in the opposite direction.

Jasper frowned after him before fixating his eyes on me. "Now," he drawled, coming closer and trapping me between his body and the car. "You made my fuck leave."

"I can help you with that." I wrapped my arms around him, sneaking my hands in his back pockets and squeezing his ass.

He pondered my words, then leaned closer and kissed me hungrily. His whole frame was pressed against mine. I could feel every inch of him, and it drove me crazy with need.

Angling his head a little to the right to get better access at my mouth, he murmured against my lips, "I'm going to meet Satan."

I moved one hand to his hair and tugged at his golden locks. "Here I thought you were an angel."

I felt rather than saw his smile. "Lucifer." His lips pressed firmly against mine again. One of his hands held my neck, the other on the top of his car.

I was aware we were moving and making noises, but if all kisses with him were like this, I never wanted to do anything else.

He separated from me, leaving a trail of spit between us. "You can ruin my nights more often, Pretty Boy."

I turned red, wiping my mouth. "Keys," I said softly.

He pressed them to my palm, pushing me toward the front of the car. I walked around it, feeling lightheaded. That kiss had been something else. He'd never kissed me that way.

As I got in the car and strapped the seatbelt on, I stared at the steering wheel feeling nervous.

"I have no idea how to drive," I admitted. I was used to Mom's old shitty car.

"You don't have a license?" He groaned, looking at me.

"I do! Remember, you brought me back to my car after the first time? What I meant is…I have no idea how to drive _your_ car."

"Like you drive any car." He shrugged, slouching in his seat.

 _Thanks for the tip._ I rolled my eyes.

After fumbling a little, I got it running.

"Careful with the acceleration. It's very sensitive."

"Got it."

 _Whoa! It is sensitive!_ I only pressed the tip of my shoe down and we were flying down the street.

"How was school?" Jasper asked suddenly.

I gave him a questioning look, but he looked genuinely interested; unlike my parents.

"It's school, you know?" I focused back on the road.

"Refresh my memory." He chuckled. At least he was no longer upset with the age difference.

"I mostly keep to myself, away from the drama. Bella's my only friend."

"That's good, you know? To have fewer friends, and to know you can count on them when you're in trouble."

"I guess. It's not like I tried to get more than one friend. Bella…it just happened. We met at some extracurricular classes in primary school."

"Did you take ballet?"

"No, but she did. How did you guess?"

"It was obvious. Every little girl dreams of being a ballerina."

"Except I'm a boy. I had a class right after hers ended." I prolonged the inevitable. He'd think I was too weird when he found out I studied violin and piano.

"What were you studying? Take a left here." He pointed to the next intersection.

Good thing he guided me. I had no idea how to get to his house. In the past, I'd been busy staring at him, rather than paying attention to the road.

"Fiddle," I blurted out.

"Sorry?" His eyebrows shot up.

I sighed heavily. "I took violin lessons. One time, Bella stayed after her class was over to listen to me. We became friends."

He didn't say anything for two excruciatingly long minutes. "You still play?" He sounded amazed.

"Yeah. I also take piano lessons."

"That's wonderful!"

"It is?" I asked, embarrassed.

"I love classical music," he confessed.

I tried to hide my smile. "Maybe…" I trailed off, unsure of what I wanted to say.

"What is it?" Jasper leaned closer, placing his hand on my thigh.

"Would you like to hear me play?"

"I'd be honored, Edward. Take a right there and a left, then we're home." He squeezed my thigh, distracting me. "You were right. You're different than the average teenager. You're smarter and more sophisticated. I like that."

_He liked me!_

_Jasper Whitlock liked me._

I could hear angels singing.

Our serious conversation was forgotten the moment I parked the car. We rushed to the front door, and after dropping the keys twice, Jasper managed to get it unlocked. Once inside, with one hand he pushed my jacket off my shoulder, and with the other, he punched the code in the key-pad.

On the way to his room, we left a trail of clothes as we tore them off us like savages.

"I can't get enough of you!" He moaned against my throat.

"I need you."

"My bedroom. Now."

We were still on the stairs when he picked me up as if I weighted nothing and made a bee-line to his room.

I could feel his cock bouncing against my ass, while mine pressed into his tight stomach.

I had no idea why he wanted to get horizontal when we had walls around us. I remembered how pleasurable it was the last time he took me against the wall.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To see all the characters, check the collages I made in my FB group. :)
> 
> See you next Sunday!


	4. Chapter 4

_You tear down all my reasons_   
_You see it through all I hide_   
_You make me perfect_   
_Help me get inside_

_I wanna fuck you_   
_I wanna taste you_   
_I wanna feel you_   
_I wanna be you_

**Nine Inch Nails – Closer To God**

"You like this?" Jasper asked, biting down on my left ass cheek.

I answered with a loud moan muffled by his pillow. He quickly licked the bite to soothe the stinging.

"What about this?" He spread my cheeks and pushed his tongue in my ass.

My eyes crossed in pleasure. _Holy fuck!_ He was torturing me.

Ever since we got to his room, hours ago, he'd been taking his time driving me crazy. At first, we kissed mostly, then he left hickeys on my neck, before moving lower to torment my nipples. When I couldn't take it anymore, I rolled over, begging him to fuck me. That uncalculated gesture brought me to where I was now. After licking my back and nipping at every mole he found on my shoulders, he moved to my ass…and didn't leave it.

"Please, Jasper! Please. I need to come!" My voice cracked as he started to fuck me with his tongue.

"Oh, but I'm not done with you, Pretty Boy."

I couldn't take it any longer, so I spun around. My teenage body wasn't used to being denied release, and my hormones were running wild. I pinned him to the bed, straddling his hips, and keeping his arms above his head.

"Now you have me at your mercy. What are you going to do?" he drawled, looking amused. His fingers flexed in my grip.

"I could torture you right back, but I need to come too badly. And so do you, right?" I grasped his dick in my hand, so hard and heavy.

He bucked his hips, closing his eyes slowly. When I started stroking him, his lids opened, showing me the most beautiful shade of blue eyes. They were dark as the early night sky.

I sat up on my knees, positioning him at my entrance. My hands were sweaty. I had no idea what I was doing; I'd never led before.

"Whoa, Pretty Boy!" Jasper stilled my hand. "Aren't you forgetting something?" His eyes were wide and serious.

"You lubed me up for half an hour, driving me crazy in the process," I reminded him.

"I meant protection." He looked upset. "No wonder the rising number of kids getting infected."

My heart jumped in my throat, dread filling me. "But…but…you're clean. Aren't you?"

He smirked, pushing me off him to grab a condom.

"Aren't you?" I could feel my heart pounding wildly in my chest.

"Does it make a difference? If it makes you sleep better at night, then yes, I'm clean."

I breathed a sigh of relief. For the first time since I'd known I was gay and after starting my sex life, I wished I had the courage to tell my parents. It was odd they hadn't already given me the usual sex talk, but it would have been nice to know they cared. I guessed Jasper would have to answer my questions, but another time.

Jasper cupped my cheek, kissing me slowly. "Did I ruin the mood?"

"No. I get it. You're being safe."

"Good. I never fuck without one, and neither should you," he said seriously, taking my glasses off and placing them on the nightstand.

"Isn't that implicit? Who else am I going to sleep with?"

"This… _us_ …it's just a fling."

My stomach rolled uncomfortably, but when he squeezed my dick, I remembered my acute need to come.

Opening the foil, he gave me on the condom and it took me a few moments to roll it on his cock. The second the task was accomplished, I straddled him again, and with his help, I sank down. He was so big. I wondered if I'd ever get used to the feeling of him inside me, the pleasure it gave me.

"Yeah. Fuck, Edward!" Jasper threw his head back, running his hands over my sides.

_So you think this is just a fling? Let me show you how good we are together._

Determined to make him see the bond we shared, I planted my palms on his chest as I started bouncing.

 _Holy shit!_ I could feel him deeper than ever before in this position. The head of his dick kept bumping into that delicious spot deep inside me, making my balls tighten and the coil in my stomach to wind up further.

"Jasper. Jasper!" I cried out when his hands grabbed my ass, keeping me still for him to fuck me faster.

It had never been this intense, but being denied release for so long, it made the sensation more powerful.

"Let go, Pretty Boy. Come for me," he said in a soothing voice. I grabbed my dick and tugged at it a couple times before I exploded all over him, covering his chest in copious amounts of spunk.

But he wasn't finished. Seeing I was about to collapse, he flipped me around, his thumbs digging in the dimples above my ass as he pounded me in the mattress. My moans were once again muffled by his pillow. My erection returned in a matter of minutes, surprising me. I knew I could recover fast, but not that fast.

Jasper's movements became erratic, and I knew he was close. I had to stop him and prolong the glorious feelings.

"I'm hard again!" I shouted over my shoulder.

Instead of making him slow down, he fucked me harder until he came, calling my name loudly.

I wanted to cry when he pulled out of me, but my disappointment was short-lived. Rolling me on my back, Jasper took my dick in his mouth. I fisted my hand in his golden hair, trying to pay attention to what he was doing, but his blow job skills were so good, it took him only one minute to make me come a second time.

"Maybe there are advantages of being with a younger guy," he mused, lying on his back next to me, lighting himself a cigarette. "You smoke?"

I glanced at him, still not back to reality after one of the best orgasms I'd ever had. "No…"

"But you want to try? Here. Take a drag."

He pressed the yellow part of the stick to my lips. I'd been curious, but never had an urge to try smoking. I knew it was dangerous. Though, having it pressed to my lips, burning and smelling of nicotine, I had to inhale it. As fast as it was in, the smoke was out, and I sat up, coughing my ass off. My eyes watered up, mostly in shame.

"Let the smoke fill your lungs. Hold it in longer," he explained patiently, running a hand over my back.

"My throat's aching."

Jasper sat up next to me. He took a drag of the cigarette, making it look so easy, before beckoning me closer. I leaned over immediately, and he pressed his mouth to mine. I opened my lips in surprise, allowing him to exhale into my mouth. He pulled away, nudging my jaw shut. "Hold it in."

I did as told, feeling the smoke glide inside my body.

"Out. Slowly." The vapor left my mouth, creating a small cloud in front of me.

"Nice. You learn fast." He winked. "Damn, I'm such a bad influence on you."

"You're not." I took the warm cigarette from his hand and lifted it to my lips. This time, I didn't cough much, and as I slowly finished the stick, I didn't cough at all.

"Aw, man! Here." Jasper handed me an ashtray. "No ash on the bed sheet." He flicked it away, frowning when it spread on the material.

"Sorry."

"It's your first time. Just don't do it again."

We stayed up half the night. He told me a little about himself, and in turn, I told him a lot about myself.

All I'd learned from him was that he and Pete went way back since they were kids. They both grew up in Texas and went to college in New York. They didn't like the life there, and when Jasper got an internship at a clinic in Pittsburgh, they were both on the first plane here. About a year after their move, his boss died. He left the clinic to his daughter and to Jasper, the only people he trusted. That was how they renamed it from **Brandon Mental Health Clinic** to **Brandon, Peterson and Whitlock Clinic**.

And that was about all he let out; not another word about Pete or Ms. Brandon, or what exactly they were doing. I was curious if all of them were shrinks.

The next morning, while eating breakfast and watching TV, Mom called, wondering where I was and that she had important news.

Ms. Hale had probably called to let her know I was ready for my recital.

Jasper drove me to the corner of my street, and we kissed in his car for ages. When he pulled away, he traced his thumb over my probably puffy lips.

"Later, Pretty Boy."

"Bye," I managed to breathe out, before leaving the car. I almost skipped on my way home.

Mom greeted me at the door, hugging me tightly. She told me about Ms. Hale calling about my recital. She was so predictable.

"Even if I get in, I'm still stuck in high school another year," I reminded her, trying not to show her how much it excited me, the idea of having my place in Juilliard assured.

"Maybe they'll let you in early. My genius, darling boy!" She kissed me fondly on both cheeks.

There were such moments, seldom in nature, when she showed me her affection so openly. I feared to lose even these few precious moments if I told her the truth.

For the following two weeks, I focused solely on rehearsing for the recital.

Even though I was itching to see Jasper, I had to concentrate on my top priority. That performance could determine my future. We did talk on the phone, and he even promised to buy a ticket and be there to cheer on me. The thought thrilled me, but made me sick, too. What if I sucked?

When the fateful Saturday rolled around, I woke in high spirits. I went through my morning routine, humming and imagining being back in Jasper's arms by the end of the weekend. I missed him too much.

My mood vanished when I found a note on the counter in the kitchen. My parents had to go to fucking Los Angeles at last minute notice for one of Dad's stupid meetings. I truly hoped they hadn't forgotten about my recital and that they'd make it on time.

Zafrina tried to cheer me up with pancakes, but it didn't work.

I really fucking hated politics, and Dad's aspiring career to be the mayor. He was always gone, taking Mom with him to pose as the good housewife. I knew different, though. They could barely stand each other, fighting more and more every day. Sometimes, I wondered if they stayed together for Dad's political career or for me. If it was the latter, I wouldn't be bothered if they divorced. It drove me crazy to hear them fight, and then act as if everything was unicorns and rainbows whenever we were all in the same room.

As the hours ticked by and they didn't pick up the phone when I called, I got agitated and angry.

Bella stopped by after lunch to help me prepare for the event. She also tried to lift my spirits with silly gossip, but it didn't work. I doubted anything would ever make me smile again.

I was physically sick of how uncaring my parents were.

At the opera house, I found Jasper easily in the hall and flew into his arms. He made me feel minutely better.

"Hey. Don't be nervous," Jasper murmured, squeezing my shoulder.

He mistook my actions. "I'm not nervous," I said, pulling away. "I'm fuming. I'm so angry I'm seeing red."

"Oh? Was it me?" he asked meekly.

It was clear in that moment he hadn't waited around for me to get his release and had probably gone to Rainbow for some Backroom action, but even though it stung, I understood this was how he was. I wasn't mad at him. I appreciated the honesty.

"My parents," I explained through gritted teeth. I looked around in hopes to catch sight of them at the last minute, but no such luck. "They're imbeciles."

"They're not here? Did you come out to them?" he asked fearfully.

"I didn't, but I will the second they return from L.A.."

"Calm down, Pretty Boy. Go up there and win them over." He pecked my cheek, pushing me to go backstage.

Ms. Hale gave me last minute instructions, but I wasn't paying attention. I only nodded to show her faux interest.

When my turn came, I walked on the stage, and after sitting down, I glanced at the vast room. I doubted they were there somewhere, out of breath and ready to listen to their son get his free ticket to Juilliard.

My fingers refused to play the well-rehearsed Debussy first movement, _De l'aube à midi sur la mer_ , from the symphony La mer. It was perfect for what we needed. I could remember Ms. Hale's words of praise from the last time I played it impeccably at her house. Instead of playing the planned piece, my fingers seemed to have a mind of their own, gliding over the ivories and blacks as a very depressing Chopin composition poured out of me— _Étude Op. 25, No. 10_ _in B minor_. It helped express all my anger, pain, and fears.

At that point, I didn't even care anymore if the jury didn't like it. All that mattered was I had found a way to pour out my feelings without smashing things or punching people. I always took all my feelings and let them show through my music.

My own parents didn't give a fuck about my recital, why should the jury? I didn't even know them, and they didn't know me.

Maybe that would do the trick, not knowing me.

Maybe my parents were ashamed of me? And they didn't even know I took it up the ass. I snorted at that thought.

When I was finished, I rushed past a scandalized Ms. Hale and didn't stop until I was outside the opera house. Sitting on the cold steps and feeling the chilly November air hit my face made me feel better.

Bella and Jasper joined me, concerned I was unwell. I refused to answer stupid questions.

"I'll take him home." I heard Jasper whispering to Bella. He draped an arm over my shoulders and led me down the stairs. "You were splendid." He kissed my cheek soundly, making me blush.

"Yes, Edward. Magnificent." Bella nodded in agreement, following us. "It must have been very important, what they had to do, for them to miss your recital."

"Stop fucking talking about them!" I yelled, stomping my foot.

She shook her head and hugged me. After kissing me, she left, making me promise to call her later.

Jasper drove me home in silence. I bet he could feel the anger rolling off me in waves.

"Come inside. I need you," I begged when he parked in front of my house.

I knew Zafrina was home for the weekend to spend time with her family.

"Alright." He smiled, making my heart warm. Maybe this evening wasn't so bad after all.

The second we stepped inside the house, the air between us changed, charging with sexual need. I led him to my room, closed the door behind us, then stripped, facing the wall.

"Fuck me. Hard. Fast. I need this."

Jasper gasped. "Edward, you're upset. Don't take it out on your body."

"Fuck me!" I punched the wall, tears spilling down my cheeks.

"As much as I'd love that…"

"Jasper, please," I begged in a broken voice.

By some miracle, he caved to my insane request. One hand pushed against my shoulder so fast and hard I smashed into the wall. His other hand angled my hips better before tracing a spit-coated finger to my ass.

He broke contact for a few moments, and I peeked over my shoulder to see him sheathing his dick in a condom and ripping another foil of what looked like lube. He saw me looking and smirked, grabbing my neck and pressing my face into the wall.

After hastily stretching me, he pushed in, and I couldn't help the scream of ecstasy and fullness that left my mouth. I'd missed his dick so much.

Jasper immediately started a punishing rhythm, and I screamed until my throat was raw and some more after that.

I wiggled my ass, groaning loudly when he touched that spot deep inside me. "Spank me, Jasper."

His breath hitched, but he didn't waste any time, complying to all my crazy requests. I had no idea what had come over me, but I needed to _feel_ —to feel something that made me happy and took my mind off the night's events.

Jasper kept his left hand around the back of my neck, squeezing tightly, but not enough to leave bruises, as his other hand administered loud smacks on my ass cheeks. It brought me so close to the edge, I had to wrap my fingers in a tight grip at the base of my dick to keep from exploding too soon.

As he fucked me harder, panting against my neck, the door of my room flew open. We stopped moving, but didn't lose the connection. I was so close to coming, that stopping now made tears spring into my eyes.

My parents stood in the doorway, gaping at us, horrified.

Mom had both hands over her mouth, and a vein pulsed against Dad's temple.

"Get off my son, you fucking animal!" he shouted at Jasper.

I grabbed Jasper's hand to prevent him from moving, as I glared at my father. It was now or never. Even though this wasn't the way I wanted to come out to them, it was better than the stuttering scenario I had in my head.

"He has my consent. I want him to fuck me. I don't care if you agree or not. Leave my room!"

Mom swayed, leaning against Dad's side. He immediately wrapped an arm around her.

"What have you done to him?" she wailed in Jasper's direction, too afraid to even look at him.

"Get. Out." I pointed a finger to the hallway.

Surprisingly, they left, closing the door behind them. It was probably too embarrassing for them. I could hear them talking about a gun and calling the police.

Jasper pulled out of me and stumbled to the bed. "The adventures of fucking a teenager." He chuckled, collecting his boxers from the floor.

"Don't. Fuck them. I want to finish," I begged, taking his underwear from him.

"Edward, that was totally a mood killer. I don't know what was in my head to even accept your crazy idea."

"That was the best fuck of my life…ruined by my fucking parents. Uh, their visit turned me on. I wanted you to keep fucking me, make them watch," I admitted in a small voice.

"Maybe you should pay me a visit at work—as a patient." He snatched his boxers from my hand and pulled them on. I followed his lead and got dressed as well. "You need to talk to them."

The second he finished speaking, the door of my room opened again to reveal Dad holding a gun, pointed at Jasper.

My blood ran cold, and as if on autopilot, I stepped in between them, my arms bent behind me to protect Jasper.

"You'll have to shoot me first," I hissed.

"Pretty Boy, I better leave. You have a lot to talk to your parents," Jasper whispered.

"The fuck you're leaving, you rapist!" Dad yelled. "Move away, Edward."

"I'm leaving with him. I'm not staying in this dysfunctional family for another minute! I knew there was a reason why I never told you I was gay!"

"What stupid ideas did you put in his head?" Dad shouted at Jasper.

I grabbed a duffel bag I usually used for sleepovers at Bella's, and pushed in some clothes and school stuff. While packing, I made sure to stay in between Dad and Jasper, afraid he'd shoot him. I pushed the bag to him, grabbed my school backpack and my violin, then shoved past my stupefied father. He'd even lowered the gun, trying to reason with me.

Mom was downstairs, and she burst into a fresh round of tears when she saw me ready to leave. I simply ignored her. I left the house without a last glance behind me, holding Jasper's hand.

"Can I crash at your place?" I asked on the way to his car.

He snorted, clearly amused. "Do I have a choice? I'd have never thought a bad boy laid under that innocent look of yours, Pretty Boy."

"There's a lot you don't know about me."

"Ditto."

On the way to his house, I pondered on my uncertain future. It hit me like a train—I was homeless, but I couldn't dwell too much on that. I finally got the guts to stand up to myself and tell my parents the truth.

Jasper shot me a worried look when a choking sound escaped me, but I waved him off, turning to look out the window. I'd be fine. The enormity of the situation was catching up with me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How is Jasper going to cope with having Edward around?
> 
> For those who want to punch Edward's parents, the line starts around the corner. I'm going to hand tickets so everyone gets a turn. ;)


	5. Chapter 5

_Love is touch, touch is love_   
_Love is reaching, reaching love_   
_Love is asking to be loved_

_Love is you_   
_You and me_   
_Love is knowing_   
_We can be_

**John Lennon – Love**

"Do you have a hoodie? I forgot to pack one." I stood in the doorway of his bathroom, half-dressed.

Jasper stopped dry-toweling his hair and gave me an exasperated look. "Edward, you didn't pack anything, besides two tees, a pair of jeans, and some underwear and socks. You're lucky I had a spare toothbrush."

"I got my school stuff…uh, some of it, my laptop and my violin." I gave him a small smile.

He scratched his jaw, eyeing me. "This…you staying here…is a phase. You'll go back to your parents."

"No. I won't." I glared.

"At least to talk to them. You don't even know if they understand you, if they accept that you're gay. Give them a chance."

I fished in my pocket for my wallet. "How much for the five minutes of therapy, doc?"

"I'm serious!" Jasper wrapped the towel around his waist and walked to me, placing his hands on my shoulders. "Listen, I left my family when I was about your age. I don't regret it, because they were mean and would have never understood me being gay wasn't an itch I had to scratch."

"Yeah, so? I don't regret leaving, either." I stared into his eyes, making him see I didn't give a fuck about what my parents thought.

"What I regret is not telling my mama that I forgave her. I didn't get the chance. She died a few years ago."

His raw honesty made me drop the wallet in surprise. It also made me feel miserable. He told me more about himself in that simple phrase than he'd told me in all the time we'd known each other.

"So, kiddo, think twice before you make a bad decision." He patted my shoulder like we were good buddies, then went to his closet. "Do you want a zipper on the hoodie or not?"

"Huh?" I was still dazed by his previous words.

Jasper turned to me, holding two types of hoodies in his hands. I pointed to his NYU gray one, pulling it over my head. I was immediately assaulted by his glorious smell—some expensive cologne and pure essence of Jasper. That way he'd be close to me at school, too. I smiled at the thought, hugging myself and sniffing at the collar.

"Give me a few days. I'll try talk to them, but…I want you there with me," I said after a while.

"I don't think that's a good idea, Pretty Boy. Your dad might try shooting me again."

I groaned, rolling my eyes. "Maybe I should call and explain you didn't kidnap me and you didn't force me…in what they saw. And I'll let them know I will come back when I'm ready."

"That's a wise decision. Can you do it in the car, though? I'm driving you to school."

"Thanks." I beamed, grabbing my bag, and led the way outside.

The phone call didn't go well. At all. My mom was hysterical for half of it, then she calmed down and begged me to come back home. I placated her, reminding her I needed time. I hadn't left because I liked men, I left because they were imbeciles. Of course, I didn't tell her in so many words, but hopefully she got the gist.

When Jasper parked in front of the school, I didn't make a move to get out of the car.

"We're here," he said gently. He stayed quiet during my call and after. I felt his fingers tilting my head and dropping a kiss to my mouth. "You're a strong young man, Edward."

"Yeah?" I had no idea how to feel. He nodded, pecking my lips again. "What about when I finish school? Where am I going?" I voiced the thing that had been eating at me ever since he told me he didn't want me to live with him, and that I should go back to my parents.

"Come by my office. I'll pay your cab ride."

I nodded. "That will be after three thirty," I said, looking at my fingers.

"Call me when you get there."

I nodded again, before opening the door and stepping out. I didn't look back as I made my way toward the entrance. The BMW's engine revved, the wheels screeched on the asphalt, then he was gone.

The thrill I felt the other night after leaving my parents' house and running away with my…partner? Fuck buddy? I had no idea what to call Jasper. Anyway, that thrill was long gone after our conversation this morning. He didn't want me in his house.

Of course, he didn't. Why would he?

I'd only be in his way when he went back to Rainbow and brought someone home. That would be awkward. I truly hoped he didn't go back, not to get his rocks off. I wanted him to come to me for that, but it wasn't possible and I knew it, even though it hurt. Changing Jasper's lifestyle was my top priority, but it would take time to make him see the advantages of a relationship.

In Calculus, I saw Bella for the first time that day, having dodged her and her questions as long as I could having her in my previous classes. She threw her arms around me the second I plunked my ass in the chair next to her.

"You're fine! Oh, I've been so worried. And when you didn't show up at the lockers this morning…then you ignored me…"

"I was late. A little," I mumbled.

"Where are you staying? What happened last night? Your parents called mine a dozen times, asking about you."

_Huh. Did they really think I'd run off to Bella? I had left with Jasper, couldn't they put two and two together?_

"It's a long story. I'm tired." I let my head fall on the desk. I turned my head so I could see Bella eyeing me, still worried. "I'm staying at Jasper's."

She relaxed, and didn't say anything else for the rest of the class. For the first time in my life, I didn't want class to end. I'd have to face Bella and her billion questions.

"I'll see you at lunch," I said as soon as the bell rang.

"You bet your perky little ass you'll see _and_ hear me at lunch!"

I'd have been amused any other time at her words, but I knew she meant business. Though, I had to make her see I meant business too.

"Honey, I'm tired, and not only physically." After kissing her cheek, I made my way to English.

It had been a hell of a weekend. Jasper had managed to distract me yesterday with all kinds of things, from trying to make omelets and failing miserably, admitting he'd never done it before, to making up for the burned breakfast by taking me against the counter. Later in the day, he introduced me to some action movie he liked, and I was quickly sucked in, loving it instantly. Then at night, he fucked me seven ways from Sunday, and tested how many times I could come then get hard and come again, and again, and again.

When I stepped into class, I spotted Alec. He was in his usual seat, next to mine. It was worth a shot to see if he liked Bella, too.

Slumping in my seat, I pondered a way to start a conversation. He kept glancing at me, playing nervously with a pen.

Bingo!

I leaned closer, angling my chair toward him. "Hey, do you have a spare pen?" I asked, planting a smile on my face.

His blue eyes widened and he looked around furtively, then at me. "You're talking to me?"

 _No, to the Fairy Godmother_ , I wanted to say, but bit my tongue. Though, his words proved he was a loner just like us. I wouldn't mind him joining our little duo.

The first time I'd seen him at our school I thought he was this bad boy with his long black hair and black clothes. As time passed, he never talked to anyone and kept to himself as much as possible. I'd definitely be the same if I didn't have Bella.

"Yeah. Do you?"

"Uh, yeah." He reached for a pen on his desk. "I hope you don't mind it's black."

"Nah." _I hate when my pen isn't blue, but whatever_. "Anything will be good. You see, my friend, Bella, she loves to steal my pens." I lied through my teeth.

"Maybe she likes you. Girls do silly shit to get a guy's attention." He glanced at me. His cheeks were still slightly pink.

"Oh, no. That's impossible."

If only he knew. Lying about Bella stealing my pen wasn't my brightest idea. Truth be told, it was the other way round, but in my defense, she always had pretty pens.

"You'll never know," Alec said softly. "Especially if you're friends."

"Exactly. It will never work, besides I'm not interested."

 _What the hell am I doing?_ I never told anyone about being gay, no one at school…or anywhere else.

For some odd reason, I wanted him to know, but it was probably because I wanted them to work out.

"She seems like a nice girl," Alec mentioned after a few minutes.

"She is." I grinned. "Maybe you can join us for lunch. I've noticed you eat alone."

"You did?" he asked, turning redder.

"Don't worry. You're welcome to join the Loner's Club." I chuckled nervously.

"Like The Beatles song?"

He knew music, and I immediately became interested. This Alec wasn't bad at all. "Close enough. I just said that…but yeah, like _Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band_."

"I'd like it—to join you. Are you sure your friend won't mind?"

"Positive."

We turned our attention to the teacher, who finally started the lecture. Alec glanced at me throughout the class, and when I caught his eye, he blushed and looked away.

Jeez. Was I so intimidating? I doubted it.

When class let out, Alec said he'd meet me in the cafeteria. I didn't question his quick departure. I had to drop my books by the locker, too.

Bella was already at our table with food for both of us on a tray.

"Hi, hon!" I ruffled her hair. "How are you?"

"Feeling mighty fine, are we?"

"Yup." I beamed at her. I was stalling.

"Spill, Cullen." She tapped her nails on the top of the table.

Rolling my eyes, I summed up the events of Saturday night. She gaped at me like a fish out of water.

"Who are you and what have you done to my best friend?"

I laughed, pushing the glasses up my nose. "It's still me. You know how I am, Bella. I can fool everyone with my innocent appearance, but if someone steps on my toes… They'll see my not so innocent face."

"But they're your parents!" She looked scandalized. "How could you…?"

"First, they came in my room without knocking. It's not exactly my fault they stayed rooted in the doorway. Anyway, I could care less for them. They didn't show up to the most important thing in my life."

"Maybe they have a good reason. Something must have happened for them to leave so suddenly."

"Not you, too!" I groaned. "Are you smoking the same thing as Jasper?"

Her lips twitched up. "Speaking of him…"

"Yes?" I bit my cheek to keep from smiling.

"Shacking up together?"

"Yes, we're living together. Not for long, apparently. He doesn't like roommates."

"Thought so. He won't change for you."

I was about to protest and tell her about my plan to convert Jasper to a monogamous lifestyle, when someone placed a tray on the other side of the table. Annoyed at being interrupted, I raised my eyes to glare at the intruder. A pair of weary crystal blue eyes stared back.

_Oh, shit. I forgot about him._

"Does your offer still stand, Edward?" Alec whispered, his whole face burning.

"Yeah. Sorry. Sit down." I waved him to the chair. "Bella, you know Alec, right? He's having lunch with us, if that's okay?"

She looked dazed, but nodded.

It didn't take long for them to start talking, even though he mostly addressed me, but he did laugh with Bella when I sprayed soda on my face. Alec probably felt more comfortable talking to me because he liked her too, and was too shy to speak directly to Bella. I was going to use my unknown matchmaking skills and make them a couple.

After lunch break, Alec went to his Chemistry class, and Bella and I walked together to Biology. I noticed a spring in her step, and it made me happy—for three seconds—because then she said the most terrifying thing.

"Oh gosh! He's so cute, isn't he?"

"Totally." I nodded vigorously, happy she liked him. _Then_ she dropped the bomb.

"He fancies you big time. He couldn't take his eyes off you!" She clapped her hands, nudging me with her elbow.

"W-wh-at?" I halted my steps. We were in the middle of the hallway, but I didn't care.

"Uh, don't be mad, but he asked me last week if we were a couple," Bella whispered hurriedly, pulling me along, making me move.

"What did you say?" I asked fearfully. I was on autopilot.

"I said not exactly. I was covering your ass, but then I noticed the way he looked at you."

I gave a shaky laugh. "I'm such a moron. I saw you looking at him on Friday…"

"And you thought I was into him? You don't know me that well then." She turned my head to the other side of the hallway. "Now, that is my type!"

"Jacob Black?" I asked, revolted. His body wasn't exactly something ripped from a magazine. I'd seen him naked in the locker room.

"What's wrong with him? He's so dreamy. Emmett, too." She nodded to the other football player.

Emmett McCarty looked better, I had to admit, but… "Big and burly doesn't do it for me."

"Your loss, my gain."

I laughed, wrapping my arm around her neck and walking to the class.

"So, Alec's into me?" I snorted at my own choice of words, making Bella dig her elbow into my side.

"Moth to flame. You should give him a chance. He's your age," she said uncertainly.

"Bella, I love Jasper. We're living together now…hopefully, we'll make it work. I'm trying to make him change. He's thirty. How long can he keep this sleeping around thing?"

"Some people don't settle down. Especially…your kind." She threw me a smile as we stepped into the classroom.

"My kind?" I tried to fight a smile.

"You know what I mean!"

I nodded. We were always careful at school, but the way she dodged the subject was ridiculously funny.

"Do you think Alec knows? About me, I mean."

"No idea. I can find out."

"Thanks, Bella."

When school let out, I decided to pay Ms. Hale a visit and apologize for my behavior on Saturday. I walked to her house, arranging my thoughts and trying to find a good explanation for changing the song. I also went over the conversations I had with Alec—so far—trying to remember a detail that gave him away on liking me. Maybe it was his blush, or the way he kept eye contact as we talked.

I didn't want a relationship with him. I didn't want anything with anyone other than Jasper.

It took me roughly an hour to get to Ms. Hale's house. I even bought her flowers—lilies, her favorites. Ringing the bell, I waited, tapping my foot on her doormat.

She answered after a long while, about when I was ready to leave. I'd never seen her so...negligent. She always looked impeccable in her customary cotton dress and that bun at the back of her head. Not today. Ms. Hale wore a red satin bathrobe, her blonde hair was all over the place, her make-up a little smudged, and I immediately looked away. I definitely interrupted something.

Ew. Gross.

I thought she was this uptight, frigid bitch. I never realized she had someone.

"Do we have an appointment, Mr. Cullen?" She looked almost hostile, but at the same time, wary.

Odd. "I'm sorry." I offered her the flowers, glancing at her sheepishly. "I didn't realize you were…busy."

She smiled, lifting the bouquet to her nose. "My favorites."

"Can I explain my behavior?"

"I'm sure it has to do with the absence of your parents. I have something for you. Come in."

So she was alone, after all. I doubted she'd have let me in with her lover somewhere in the house.

"Surely, they didn't accept me," I said, slightly surprised. If I still got in Juilliard after the stunt I pulled…

"No, I'm afraid Juilliard is off the list. For now. You can always try again next year." She led me to the living room. On the way, she pulled her hair up in a ponytail and I noticed a hickey on her neck. Huh.

Bella would love to hear about this. She'd met Ms. Hale only once when she picked me up one day, and she thought my teacher was a vile person. She even went as far as to guess my teacher was still a virgin and had a dozen cats. I hadn't seen cats around, and I couldn't tell about the other thing. Until now.

On the big piano was an envelope. The white of the paper stood out in contrast with the black piano.

"It's for you from the Pittsburgh Opera. I explained why you left when they wanted to speak to you. I told them you weren't feeling well."

That was very nice of her. She covered my ass. She wasn't that bad. "They want me to…what? Play for them?" I stared dumbly.

I really couldn't take any more shocks.

First, my parents. Second, being homeless—temporarily living with my supposed boyfriend. Third, Alec being into _me,_ when I wanted to hook him up with my best friend. And now this?

"Yes." Ms. Hale winked. "Take it. Open it. Read it. Call them."

I clutched the envelope in my hand, feeling rather shaky. I must have been pretty good for them to want me to play at the opera house.

"Rosie, I have to go," a voice I knew from somewhere said from the hallway.

When I looked over, I gasped. Shock number…I lost count. Emmett McCarty, quarterback and senior, stood at the foot of the stairs, dressed as he'd been hours ago at school, but looking a little rumpled.

_Holy shit!_

"Emmett, I told you to wait upstairs. Edward, I'm sorry. I can't stop you from saying anything if…"

"Don't worry. I won't say a thing," I blurted.

So McCarty and I had something in common—we liked older people, and we visited Ms. Hale regularly, but for different purposes.

"You better not!" he threatened me, narrowing his eyes.

"Emmett!"

He immediately shut up at her stern voice, and looked down. Huh. Someone could tame the oaf.

"Thanks for this." I waved the envelope before sticking it in my bag. "I better go."

"Thank you for coming over to explain yourself. See you on Thursday?"

"Yeah. I'll call if I can't make it."

As I left, I heard Emmett questioning her about my visit, but she placated him. As I hailed a cab at the corner of the street, I couldn't shake off the feeling that something strange was going on between them.

After giving the cabbie Jasper's work address, I settled in the backseat. The ride wasn't expensive and I could afford it, but my pocket money would soon be gone. I had to think seriously of a way to earn my living.

The clinic's building was maroon and modern looking. It wasn't grand, but not small either. The frames of the big window were ruby red.

As I walked to the door, I noticed Jasper outside, pacing and smoking. He had lost his jacket, and I wondered if he was cold.

When he hung up, I approached and placed a hand on his arm, standing on my toes to peck his mouth.

"Hi."

"Jesus." He looked at me startled.

"Not quite," I joked. "So, not used to random guys kissing you?"

"No." He leaned closer, nudging my nose. "Good thing you're not some random guy."

I smiled, kissing him, happy to be back in his arms. This time he kissed me back, placing a hand on the back of my neck.

"FAG!"

I jumped, startled. I'd heard that voice a little while ago. Emmett McCarty had followed me. The fuck?

I turned to glare at him, feeling slightly more courageous in Jasper's arms, but not enough to shout back. I had plenty material to throw back at him after seeing him with Ms. Hale, but I couldn't find it in me to say anything.

He knew. The whole school would know by tomorrow.

"Do you know that guy?" Jasper sounded upset.

"From school. Tomorrow's gonna be awesome."

He hugged me tightly, turning us around and walking inside the building. "I'm sorry, Pretty Boy."

"Not your fault. They'd have found out sooner or later."

"Come. You can do your homework in my office while I meet my next appointment."

"Don't you have confidentiality stuff?"

"I meet my clients in the consult room. My office is not for strangers."

He led me down a long corridor, paved with light brown tile. On the walls were different paintings at regular intervals. Some of them portrayed people—maybe important doctors? I had no idea.

"Hold on." He stopped at a door and knocked, then opened it a little. The nameplate read Dr. Peter Peterson.

His parents were definitely uninspired when they named him.

I saw Peter in there with a woman going over some paperwork.

"Pete, come here a sec," Jasper said softly. "Charlotte, you left the reception empty again," he added to the woman. She scowled, grabbed the papers and strutted out the office, mumbling about inconsiderate bastards.

When Peter joined us, he winked at me, making me flush. "Hey, kid! What's up?"

"Not much," I mumbled, feeling like the awkward _kid_ I was. I wished Jasper or his friend wouldn't see me as a kid.

"If you two are done…" Jasper side-eyed me, looking slightly irritated. "Good." He turned his attention to Peter. "Rile just called. He's not well. Again."

"Are you taking him to the hospital? I can't leave now," Peter said, worried.

"I'm babysitting." Jasper pointed to me.

"If it's important, don't mind me. What's wrong with Riley?"

"He ran out of meds and tried some shit that fucking Demetri has," he told Peter, not minding me.

"Ran out of meds? Why doesn't he go to the hospital for more? I'll never understand him."

"You know Rile. Says he'll be okay, that he feels better." Jasper turned to face me. "You sure you don't mind? We'll be at the hospital for a while."

"Sure."

"Let me know how he feels," Peter said. He went back into his office, promising to drop by at the hospital later.

Jasper avoided answering my questions about his sick friend. I had no clue what was wrong with him. He left me in his office, instructing me not to touch anything and just do my homework.

While I was alone in his spacious office, I couldn't help but notice how…cold the place was. The walls were a light blue with a few paintings of different cities hanging here and there. His desk was sturdy, made of mahogany wood, and there was a spinning chair of which I took full advantage and spun until I got dizzy. There was also a black leather futon with a plant next to it. I couldn't see any personal effects, no pictures or trinkets like other people usually put in their offices.

An hour later, we were in Jasper's car, on the way to Riley's, who wasn't answering his phone. Jasper had to use the spare key to get into his friend's apartment. He immediately ran toward what I presumed was the bedroom, and I walked into the living room.

"Oh, shit! Jasper!" I called, finding his friend lying on the floor.

He'd fallen over the glass coffee table, and had a big gash in his arm, oozing blood. He seemed to be unconscious.

As I bent to check his pulse, Jasper snatched my hand back. "No!" he shouted, looking white as a ghost. "Don't touch him." He gave me a pained look.

I stared at him, surprised. It didn't look like a request a friend would make, and it didn't have any hint of possessiveness in it, which meant Riley was really sick.

Jasper sighed, staring sadly at his friend, before he handed me his phone. "He's HIV positive. Call 911 for me, will you? I need to find some blankets to keep him warm, and try to wake him up."

After I called and was told an ambulance would be there shortly, I stood aside, watching Jasper caring for his friend. He didn't look at all like the guy I met at Rainbow.

"I'll understand if you don't want anything to do with me or my friend," he murmured, holding a bottle of cologne to his friend's nose. "Come on, wake up, sweetie."

His voice broke my heart. "Why wouldn't I? Because he's sick? So what?" I couldn't believe he thought that. This was reality, after all. There were always risks.

"You're brave." He threw me a small smile.

Riley came around, looking confused. "Jazz… What happened?" he slurred.

"You fainted. Stay here." He held him tightly. "We're taking you to the hospital."


	6. Chapter 6

_I don't need no sympathy_   
_I won't cry and whine_   
_Life's my light and liberty_   
_And I shine when I wanna shine_

**Adam Lambert – Trespassing**

In the short time I'd known Jasper, I never saw him so worried and agitated. He kept pacing the length of the waiting room floor like a caged animal.

I'd tried to get him to calm down, but he shrugged my hand off and pointed to the chair, indicating I sit down.

A half an hour after we brought Riley with the ambulance—actually, I drove Jasper's car while he rode with his friend—a doctor came into the room.

"Riley Biers?" the doctor asked, looking around.

Jasper pivoted on his left heel and rushed to the man in the white coat. "How is he? Is he…okay?"

"Are you his next of kin?"

"As close as you'd get to that."

"I'm sorry, sir. I can't tell you. He's critical. Only family—"

"Bullshit!" Jasper yelled, scaring everyone in the room.

"Sir, you need—"

"If his parents cared, he wouldn't have ended up on the streets, selling his body for food, which led to him getting the virus. So don't give me bullshit that you allow only family in there. They don't give rat's ass about him!"

The doctor gaped.

The information was news to me, too. I liked the way Jasper stood up for his friend. It showed he cared, that he had the capacity to care for someone enough to risk getting hauled by the police for disobeying rules.

"I didn't catch your name, sir," the doctor said after a moment.

"Dr. Jasper Whitlock. You?" He straightened his jacket, looking down at the doctor with cold blue eyes.

"Dr. Garrett Lewis. I am afraid the policy won't allow you to visit your friend."

I thought he was going to let Jasper see Riley, but no. When Jasper sighed in defeat, I advanced toward them, determined to make justice.

"Excuse me. Riley is a common friend, so let me put it this way, doc." I stood in front of Dr. Lewis. We were about the same height. "What if it was you in Riley's place? Would you like to see your best friend—the only person who cares about you—or your parents, who turned their back on you when you told them you were gay?" I had no clue what happened between Riley and his folks, but I was sort of talking from personal experience.

Dr. Lewis looked me in the eyes as I talked, and with every word out my mouth, I could see his resolve breaking.

"Alright, but only Dr. Whitlock goes inside. And only for a few minutes. Room 293." He left the waiting room as soon as he was finished talking. Some of the people clapped at our small victory.

Jasper cupped my face with one hand. There were tears in his eyes. "Thank you, Pretty Boy."

"Go. You're wasting precious minutes. I'll wait outside."

I walked outside and sat on a bench, waiting for Jasper.

What a day. After all the shocking news I'd had since Saturday, Riley's sickness blew me away. It opened my eyes more to the world—my world. I never suspected he was sick or carried such heavy baggage about his family when I met him. We'd talked for a short while, but he seemed so normal.

Bringing my knees up to rest my chin on top of them, I wondered what would come of me. I knew Jasper wasn't that cruel to kick me out, but I'd definitely be in his way.

 _What am I going to do?_ I'd have to face my parents, and I was afraid I'd end up back in that suffocating house, having to hide who I was and ignoring all our problems.

Someone sat next to me, and when I looked up, I noticed Jasper. He stared at me with a look of awe in his eyes. It made me nervous.

"Thank you."

I rolled my eyes. "Stop thanking me. The doc was being an asshole."

"No one made him think like that before. Us, doctors, we don't put ourselves in the patients' shoes."

"You'd probably end up your own patient if that was the case." I chuckled, reaching over to take his hand. He cracked a small smile and squeezed my fingers, before folding his hands in his lap, crossing his legs at the knee. "How's Riley?"

"He has to stay for a couple days."

"Good." I had no idea what to say, or where to start asking questions.

He suddenly stood. "Come," he said over his shoulder, already walking away.

At his house, we showered separately. I was on the edge of the bed, fiddling with the blanket when Jasper stepped into his room, towel around his hips, water glistening from his chest. He stopped in his tracks and eyed me curiously.

"What are you doing here?"

"I wanted to say goodnight," I lied, walking out of the room. It was clear in that moment why my things were in the guest room. He'd casually moved them while I showered, telling me in passing where they were.

He didn't want me anymore. We were going to be housemates.

Shame burned my cheeks as I made my way down the hall, hoping to hear him calling me back. It didn't happen.

I was tired after the crazy day, so I fell asleep quickly, without thinking too much about the day's events.

"Wake up!" Loud knocking on my door pulled me from a glorious dream. He didn't come in, so I managed to fall back in state between sleeping and reality.

"Are you up?" I heard Jasper saying outside the door.

_Yup. Definitely. A part of me is up, the rest, not so much._

I flopped on my stomach, groaning a response I couldn't decipher myself.

A stinging on my ass had me jumping a mile in the air, my heart beating wildly in my throat.

"Get up, already! We're late. It's seven fifteen," Jasper hissed, but when I turned to look at him, I saw he was entertained by my groggy self.

"Sheesh," I mumbled, rubbing my ass. Then my brain worked out the time, and I jumped to my feet, forgetting about my morning wood.

His eyes went down south before pointing to the bathroom. "Hurry up and brush your teeth. You can borrow whatever from my closet. We'll stop at a bakery on the way to get breakfast."

"I need to get a job," I said thoughtfully, yawning. "If I'm going to live here—"

"You're not," he interrupted me. "I'm taking you back to your parents at the end of the week."

"What? No. You can't." I panicked at the thought of going back there.

"We don't have time to fight, Pretty Boy." Jasper patted my cheek before disappearing from the room.

We left within fifteen minutes. Jasper drove like a bat out of hell. The three minutes stop at the pastry place gave me enough time to settle my heart and prepare for the rest of the drive.

Returning to the car, he thrust a brown bag at me. "You have a blueberry bagel there. I hope you like it."

"Thanks," I mumbled, embarrassed he had to buy me stuff. When I opened the bag, his hand stopped me, encasing my wrist in an iron grip.

"No crumbs in the car."

I nodded, keeping the bag in my hand and looking out the window. He pushed past two yellow lights and definitely over a red one, but it was five to eight when he parked in the school's lot.

"Shit!" I slapped my forehead, realizing it was Tuesday.

"What?" He frowned, drumming his fingers on the wheel.

"I have violin lessons after school."

"Yeah…" He raised an eyebrow.

"I left my violin at your place." I turned red, hoping he wouldn't think it was a scheme to make him late.

"I'm sorry I rushed you, Edward." Jasper bent to search for something in the glove compartment, and I had no idea if that was his way to dismiss me, or he had something for me.

As I turned to open the door, he pressed something small and cold into my hand, closing my palm around it. "Be careful with it."

I looked at the object he gave me, and was shocked to see the spare key to his house.

"Do you have money for a cab?" Embarrassed, I shook my head, stuffing the key in my school bag. "Here. We'll talk tonight." He handed me some cash.

I nodded, taking the money as well. I had no idea I could feel worse, but I did.

When I left my home and decided to live with him, I didn't expect Jasper to be my sugar daddy.

"Hey, I'm sorry." It was as if he could tell I felt awful. Grabbing my chin, he turned my head to him. "My head is miles away. I'm worried about Rile."

"I get it." I leaned closer and tentatively pressed my lips to his. He kissed me back, rubbing my cheek.

When he pulled away, I opened the door and got out. If I looked back, I'd either say something he probably didn't want to hear or I'd burst in tears. As it was, I was barely keeping the flood under control.

Jasper acted sweet now, but I could tell he was distancing himself. It was something new for him to have one of his tricks around for so long, but I kept lying to myself that I was the exception and he liked me around.

I noticed Emmett McCarty staring at me from the other side of the parking lot, flanked by the football team. His eyes moved to someone behind me. It was my moment to escape, but the sad part was that the situation worsened.

Jasper was calling my name, and when I turned slowly to face him, I found him a foot in front of me.

"You forgot your food." He handed me the brown paper bag.

"Oh, yeah," I said, taking it awkwardly from him.

When he didn't leave, I raised my eyes and got caught in his blue pools.

"No!" I mouthed, panicked as he moved closer.

Thankfully, Jasper understood my apprehension, and after brushing my cheek, he turned to walk to his car, smiling over his shoulder.

Butterflies erupted in my stomach. He did care for me.

The euphoria didn't last too long, as it was now killed by the football team calling me names from across the lot. Jasper was already in the car, backing away and couldn't hear them.

Like the coward I was, I rushed inside the school and locked myself into a bathroom stall, crying my heart out.

I didn't emerge for two hours. That was what I'd been dreading—people finding out and considering me a freak.

On my way to Calculus, I found Bella at my locker.

"Honey!" She wrapped her arms around me, making me sniff loudly. "I'm here. What happened? Did they do something to you?" She pushing me to arm's length and looking me up and down.

I only shrugged.

"How do they know?"

"It's a long story," I mumbled, stuffing my bag in the locker, keeping only a pen and my Math textbook along with a notebook.

"Tell me."

During class, which was boring as ever, I told her about my discovery the previous day. Her eyes nearly bugged out when she heard about Ms. Hale's affair with McCarty. But when I continued, telling her how Emmett followed me and saw my encounter with Jasper, she became agitated. I made her promise me not to take my side. I'd hate to see her hurt because of me.

English was the only class I didn't share with Bella, but sadly, I had Emmett there…and Alec. Which one was worse, I had no idea.

I stepped cautiously into the classroom. My nemesis wasn't there.

Slumping in my seat, I pulled out my book to keep busy. When someone sat next to me, I glanced up to find Alec smiling at me.

"Hi. Everything okay?"

_Did everyone know? How fast does the news travel?_

"Hi. Yeah." I cringed when Emmett strutted into the room as if he owned the place. His eyes zeroed in on me and he smirked.

I shrunk into my chair when he approached my desk, planting his palms on the top of it, leaning closer. He noticed Alec and a demonic smirk appeared on his face.

_No. Do not drag him into this!_

"Two fags sitting in a tree…butt fucking."

Anger flared up inside me. My fists clenched under the desk, but I was too cowardly to say something.

"You're a fucking disgrace, Cullen!"

"Fuck off," I muttered under my breath, envisioning myself smashing his head against the wall. _Get the fuck away from me._

"What was that, fag?" McCarty leaned even closer, looking angry.

"He said fuck off. So get lost already!" Alec snapped. "Leave him alone."

"Oh, isn't this nice? Are you his lawyer?" Emmett's eyes flashed with something dangerous. "Does your boyfriend know about your high school affair?" He pointed to Alec.

If I had the courage, I'd have said something about Ms. Hale, but since I was too much of a wimp to even look him in the eye, I didn't say anything besides, "Just leave."

"Pussy." He stalked off, proud he'd made another victim.

"You shouldn't have done that. Now he'll hate you, too," I told Alec.

"He insulted me too with those accusations."

"Which I'm sorry for. You probably want to stay away from the queer, too."

"Uh, no. I'd rather stick to you. We can make a team against him, and his like." Alec leaned closer. "I'm gay, too."

My suspicions were confirmed. Bella was right.

"Well, in that case… I'm still sorry I dragged you into this."

When class let out, we walked together to cafeteria and sat at the same table. I munched on the bagel Jasper got me for breakfast, while Alec ate his sandwich.

"Does anyone know? Your family?" I looked around for Bella. It was unlike her to be late.

"Only my family. They're cool with it. Maybe too cool in Mom's case." He cringed.

"Oh, must be nice, though."

"I take it you're not out."

"Apparently, I am…forcibly shoved out the closet and thrust into the wolves' mouths."

A tray slapped against the table as Bella fell into the chair next to me. "If one more person asks whether or not I know if the guy I used to hang around is a fag, I'm going for the jugular."

"I wish I took your advice from the beginning of the year, and pretended we were a couple," I admitted.

"They'd have seen you with Jasper sooner or later." She rolled her eyes. "Oh, hey, Alec." She finally noticed him. After giving him a small smile, she turned to me. "Speaking of Jasper, what was up with him this morning?"

"You saw us?"

"Honey, everyone saw you. By the way, Jasper bringing your forgotten lunch was the cutest thing ever!"

I turned red. "It's my breakfast, actually. Anyway…he has some problems."

I didn't want to tell her about Riley, especially not in front of Alec, who was watching us attentively. I could tell it didn't sit well with him that I had someone, but what the fuck ever.


	7. Chapter 7

_I can't deny what I believe_  
I can't be what I'm not  
I know our love forever  
I know, no matter what

**Boyzone – No Matter What**

I was late for my violin class, but Mr. Brown was cool with it. Frankly, I had no idea why I still bothered with these lessons. I was damn good with the fiddle. I even taught a few classes of his younger students when Mr. Brown got pneumonia last year.

I guessed it was routine and it would be difficult to break it.

We mostly talked about the piece I'd written a couple weeks ago, and tried making it sound good.

When I got back to Jasper's, he still wasn't there.

I threw some pasta in the water and heated the contents of a can of sauce I found in his cupboard. Hopefully, he'd appreciate the gesture. I doubted he even knew how to cook. Not like I was master chef, but I'd learned how to fend for myself.

Planting myself in front of the big plasma with my dinner and homework, I did a little bit of both in between watching TV. I was done with the school stuff by midnight when Jasper returned home. Before I could jump up to greet him, I heard two deep voices, talking quietly as they made their way up the stairs. He didn't even turn to look at me.

I wanted to shout at him, to throw the cushion at his head, or preferably something that would hurt him—like my Calculus textbook.

If I was going to live here, was he seriously going to carry on with his manwhoring ways?

Switching off the TV, I picked up the dishes and dumped them in the kitchen sink, then made my way upstairs. I wanted to stomp on the stairs, but refrained. He'd probably kick me out if I made his fuck leave.

Jasper's door was open, and even though the lights were off, I could see their silhouettes. They seemed to be already naked. Not wasting much time to get what he wanted, was he?

The one on top paused fractionally, mid-thrust, head turned to me. Rationally, I knew Jasper was aware I lived there, but I bet he didn't expect me to be awake. He'd been so focused on fucking that guy, he failed to notice I was in the living room earlier.

I hurried down the hall with tears in my eyes.

No one could change Jasper Whitlock.

I pulled a pillow over my head to drown their moans, but it didn't work. If I had the courage, I'd have gone over there and said or done something. As it was, I suffered in silence, crying myself to sleep with Jasper's loud groans in the background.

In the morning, I startled awake by the alarm I had set on my phone.

After hitting snooze twice, I finally closed it and sat up on the bed, stretching and rubbing my sticky eyes. I blinked in confusion when I saw Jasper sprawled in the chair by the door.

_What the fuck?_

_Why is he here?_

_He cares_ , a small voice whispered in my head.

Just like that, his behavior from the previous night was forgiven and forgotten, because he showed me he did care. And I cared, too—a lot more than I should. I walked to him and shook his shoulder.

"Hey, wake up."

My eyes drank in his rippled body as he tensed before relaxing. He scrunched his nose, slowly opening his eyes, which widened when he saw me so close.

"Morning, Jasper." I smiled, leaning closer and kissing his cheek. He reeked of scotch and sex.

"Edward." There was remorse in his voice. I hadn't thought him capable of such emotion.

"It's cool. I get it. You're not the type to settle down."

His face fell, and I'd never seen his eyes so sad. "I'm sorry I brought him home. It was wrong of me. Not with you in here." He reached for me, but dropped his hand.

"Your house." I shrugged. "I'm going to shower."

"Can I join you?" he asked softly, standing and stretching.

I nodded, allowing him to pull me out of my room toward his. "Why did you sleep here? Is he still in your bed?"

"They never stay the night."

"I did," I reminded him, bumping his shoulder playfully.

"I was too drunk, and you were out cold. I tried to wake you, which should have been a dead giveaway when you told me _five more minutes, Mom_. Yeah, so I said fuck it and fell asleep."

"I'm the exception."

We stepped into his shower, and I stood to the side while he worked the heat. As soon as the water cascaded down on us, Jasper pressed me against the wall face first and kissed my back.

"Your skin is so soft and perfect."

_I didn't say anything, because what the fuck does a guy say to something like that?_

I only moaned when he kneeled behind me, licking between my parted cheeks. I shivered, pressing my forehead against the cold, wet wall.

"Is this okay?" he asked, nipping at my cheek.

"You kidding?" I groaned as a long finger traced my crack.

"Some guys don't like rimming." His voice was muffled as he answered when he returned to licking around my hole. He'd done something similar a while ago, but nothing compared to this.

 _So, that's rimming_. I liked it. "I do."

"Have you had it done to you?"

I couldn't help but snort out. Peeking at him over my shoulder, I could only see his blond head pressed against my ass. "Jasper, you're my first…everything."

"Okay. Stupid question." He chuckled, going back to work.

Between his tongue-fucking skills and his hand pulling at my dick, it didn't take long for me to paint his wall in cum. When I was soaring high from my orgasm, he slammed into me, making me shout his name.

"Did I hurt you?" Jasper checked, stilling his hips.

"No, only surprised me."

"Brace yourself. It's gonna be hard and quick," he rasped against my neck.

**OoO**

At school, he kissed me for five minutes before allowing me to get out of the car. I was lightheaded as I walked inside the building, smiling like a lunatic.

We were okay. Despite everything, I knew he'd always come back to me, and maybe one day soon, he'd only want me.

When I reached my locker, my happy mood dissipated. The word faggot was sprayed in pink on the gray door. Oddly, I noticed it wasn't even spelled correct, missing one G.

My temper flared and probably for the first time, I let it loose at school. They all knew me as the geeky, quiet guy. Well, not anymore. Hear me roar.

"Yeah, so? Got a problem with it?" I shouted, turning to face everyone in the hallway.

The few students passing by stopped and looked everywhere but at me. They probably weren't involved, but they sure felt the same as the idiot who had written the word. I wished McCarty was around to hear me, but as it was, he would definitely catch wind of this. If only I had the courage to confront him, face-to-face.

I stalked to my first class, and when Bella joined me, she simply leaned closer, resting her head on my shoulder.

There were times like this when I appreciated her silent support. It also made me sad she had to go through this because of me.

My high school life had definitely become hell. From the day everyone found out, all thanks to McCarty, I heard various things said about me in the hallways. I tried to ignore them, but it was difficult when some of them shouted the words in my face.

For the rest of the week, I relied on Bella and Alec's support. Alec helped more than Bella, telling me he'd gone through this at his previous school when he came out. I also learned the reason why he moved from there—the bullying. His parents withdrew him from the hostile environment.

I didn't tell Jasper anything that was happening at my school, even though he mentioned McCarty over dinner the other night. My heart did a small jump at the thought he worried about me. I told him he was giving me nasty looks, which was true, but I was afraid to tell him more.

As Saturday rolled by, McCarty and his sidekicks were the last thing on my mind. Jasper was currently pulling up in the driveway of my house.

We walked to the front door and rang the bell. He side-eyed me, pursing his lips.

"You look about to throw up."

"No shit?" I muttered, shuffling my feet.

Mom opened the door and gaped at us for a moment, before pulling me into her arms.

"Edward! My little angel!"

_The fuck? Is she drunk or something?_

I quickly moved out of her embrace, taking Jasper's hand. His big, warm, slightly calloused hand gave me comfort.

"Can we come in? We need to talk," I told her seriously.

She looked nervously at Jasper before nodding. _He won't bite, Mom_. I rolled my eyes.

Dad was in living room on the couch, reading the paper. He folded it neatly and placed it next to him when we stepped into the room. Mom joined him on the couch, while I stood awkwardly next to Jasper, who was leaning against the mantle place.

A few minutes passed in absolute silence. My parents kept their eyes on Jasper, while he casually inspected the photographs on the ledge, ignoring them. He looked amused, glancing between me and a picture of a younger version of myself. It made me turn red.

"Let me introduce you," I blurted, hoping to distract him from staring at my gangly twelve year old self. "This is Jasper, my—" I bit my lip, catching his eye.

_What are you?_

"His lover. I also happen to be a teenagers' psychologist, and I could tell from the minute I met Edward that he has problems at home." He spoke slowly, drawling the words, his eyes never leaving my parents.

"So now doctors fuck their patients?" Dad sneered.

"Carlisle!" Mom gasped, looking about to burst in tears. "Sweetie, you didn't tell us anything. When did you start seeing a doctor? Did he make you pay him in sexual favors?"

"I'm not his patient!" I snapped, scandalized. Jeez. _Did everyone think I was crazy?_ "I met Jasper at a club."

"From the Internet? I told you to never trust anyone—"

"Like, a _real_ gay club. Technically, in front of it, but that's details." I winked at Jasper. His lips turned up in amusement.

He held a hand up when Dad threw him a venomous look. "Before you continue accusing me, I'll let you know I had no idea how young Edward was at the time…we went back to my place."

"You sick son of a bitch!"

"Sir, with all due respect, you should allow your son to speak and keep an open mind. If you must know, it was my idea to come here. He didn't want anything to do with you two after the way you hurt him, not showing up to the most important moment of his life."

I really liked this side of Jasper, so in command and putting my dad in his place. Someone had to do it.

"You can't be serious, darling," Mom said softly, meeting my eyes. "What we walked in…" She shuddered. "…you were obviously being forced."

Anger surged through my veins. "I'm gay. And I like it rough. So what? Jasper makes me _happy_ , something you could never do!"

She placed a hand on Dad's leg when he made to stand. "Let's say we try to understand this…gay thing. Do you promise to return home?"

"Gay thing?" I gaped at her.

"And you're forbidden to see this child molester." Dad pointed at Jasper, looking purple with anger.

"You know what? Fuck you!" I spat. "I thought we could talk like civilized people, but apparently I ask too much. Probably the news of having a gay son will drop your rates. Whatever." I glared at my father who stood up, glaring back. Before he could say anything, I went on. "I'll be back in a few days to take all my stuff."

"It's never too late to open your eyes and mind. He's not asking for a lot, just to have his parents' love and support," Jasper told them, leading me out with a hand on my shoulder.

When we reached his car, Mom called my name, running after us.

"I need to know something." She was looking at Jasper. He nodded, not dropping my hand. I quite liked holding hands; we rarely did it. "Take care of him, will you? How old are you exactly?"

Jasper's hand twitched into mine. "I promise to protect Edward. If my age really matters, I'm thirty. Don't worry, I always had his consent."

Mom glanced at me, then to the house where Dad was in the doorway, stoic. She cupped my cheek, rubbing it softly.

"We came, sweetheart. We were there for your recital. The plane got delayed, but we made it, though by the time we could make our way to the backstage, Ms. Hale said you already left."

I stared at her dumbly. They'd come, after all. It made me feel horrible, but I didn't dwell on that. They deserved everything. Maybe this way they'd understand our family needed communication.

"Call me." She hugged me tightly. "I will wait for you to change your mind."

"We'll see about that," I finally mumbled.

In the car, on the way home, I questioned Jasper about his promise.

"It's not like I have a choice, Pretty Boy. Besides, I got used to having you around. As messy as you are." He caught my eye, smirking.

"I'm not," I protested, pouting.

"You are. Dirty dishes everywhere, never doing laundry, and I know you ran out of clean clothes days ago. I'm cool with you stealing my boxers, as long as you don't take my favorites."

I burst out laughing. He gave me a pointed look.

"My Hugo Boss pair was missing this morning."

I peeked at what I had on, pulling the hem of my jeans down a little. "Are they black?"

Jasper tugged at my hem down with one finger. "Yup."

"You'll have them back as soon as you take them off me when we arrive home," I teased.

"Keep them. Besides, we have other plans."

"We do?" I asked, excitedly.

"It's Saturday, which means Rainbow time. Rile is better and he'll join us."

"Awesome!" I missed Riley, and the club.

**OoO**

Rainbow was as loud and packed as I remembered.

We met Riley and Peter at the bar. I was immediately hugged and kissed, offered drinks, and asked tons of questions—it made me dizzy.

Riley was as exuberant as I remembered him. He kept thanking me for talking sense into the doctor. Actually, he used the term hot doctor.I guessed he was going to visit the hospital more often to get his meds, if only for the doctor.

Peter pushed an amber liquid filled glass to me, winking. As I reached for it, grinning, Jasper slapped my hand, taking it and downing the contents in one gulp.

"I promised mommy to take care of you. Drinking heavy alcohol will come in conflict with my vow." He tapped my nose. "As for you, Peterson, you're a fucking idiot. Giving a minor alcohol."

"Let the kid have fun!"

"Yeah, I want to try scotch. Fuck Mom."

"I think I'd skip," Jasper muttered, lighting up a cigarette.

When he wasn't paying attention to us, looking around—probably for his prey of the night—Peter ordered another scotch. I took the glass with both hands, ready to fight Jasper if he wanted to take it from me, then I drank it all.

My eyes watered instantly, my chest burned, and I couldn't breathe right. My coughs alerted Jasper, making him whirl around to look at me concerned. Rolling his eyes when he saw the glass, he simply patted my back and ordered me a bottle of water.

"How about you stick to kid drinks?"

Riley clapped and leaned over the bar, battling his eyes at the bartender, then whispered something in his ear. The man eyed me, amused.

Did everyone want to embarrass me?

A few minutes later, the bartender offered me a blue drink. I eyed it apprehensively. I'd been taught to never drink anything that looked unnatural.

"Try it," Riley urged. "It's a Sapphire Martini cocktail. You'll love it! It's my favorite."

"Are you even allowed to drink?"

He gasped, looking at me in horror. "Of course!"

"Try it." Jasper nudged me with his elbow.

I took a small sip from my glass, and was assaulted by a variety of strong aromas. There was definitely gin in this; I recognized it from Dad. It was his drink of choice. I'd tried it once, out of curiosity, and decided it was yucky. But then again I was about ten when it happened. Now, in whatever combination it was, I loved it.

"Yum." I grinned at my companions who were waiting the verdict.

"Another lost case," Peter mumbled mournfully. He grabbed Jasper by the shirt and led him to the dance floor.

He wasn't going to dance with my man. Not again.

I thrust my drink at Riley, stalking after Jasper and Peter.

"Go gently on him, honey! He's learning!" Riley called after me.

When they stopped, Peter placed his hands on Jasper's hips, bringing him closer. I walked faster, weaving through sweaty bodies.

"He's dancing with me!" I hissed, stopping next to them and shoving Peter away. I really didn't like how close they were, and I didn't care if they once fucked, but Jasper was mine.

"Oh, careful with this one, man—stalker tendencies, house-hogging and possessive. Not good." Peter winked, backing away.

I frowned after him, taking his place in Jasper's arms.

"Seriously, Pretty Boy. We're not boyfriends. We have some sort of arrangement, if you want to name it. I'm free to dance with and to fuck whoever I want."

That was like a stab to my stomach.

Keeping my arms loosely linked around his neck, I moved sinuously against him.

"You're not playing fair." He groaned, placing his hands on my ass.

I smirked, gridding my groin into his. I affected him all right. I could feel his hard dick pressing against mine. He brought his lips down to mine, kissing me deeply, exploring my mouth. Our tongues started a battle of their own, while Jasper kept thrusting into me, finding some form of relief. We were no longer surrounded by people in the club; it was just the two of us, driven by primal need.

The spell broke when someone bumped into my back, pushing me flat against Jasper's front. We gazed at each other for a long moment, before he snapped out of it, taking my hand in a firm grip.

My heart beat wildly as he made his way through the club. I feared we were leaving, but then we went through the door of the Backroom. The room was dimly lit in various dark shades of purple and red. The only sound was the cacophony of moans and groans, accompanied by the heavy smell of sex.

"What…" I wasn't sure I liked it here.

He kept me close, giving dirty looks left and right at every guy who leered at me, and walked with purpose to a spot known by him.

We found an empty wall, and Jasper leaned against it, folding his arms across his chest. I was distracted by his bulging muscles.

He cocked his head to the side, taking a cigarette from his pocket.

I looked around seeing some were fucking, and some were sucking others off. It was debauchery.

Jasper unzipped his pants, pulling his dick out. "Come on, Pretty Boy. Don't keep me waiting."

"Here?" I gasped.

He puffed smoke, pushing a finger against my shoulder until I knelt in front of him. "There are others in line waiting to suck my cock."

Determined to make him feel good and show him we were perfect together, I took his dick in my hand. He was so hard and the veins were bulging out. I could stare at it the whole day, but worshipping it was a better choice.

"Don't just stare. Suck." He grabbed my hair, bringing my mouth closer to his dick. It hurt a little, but it turned me on a lot.

I took him in my mouth—just the tip—and sucked as if it was a lollipop. I glanced at his face when I heard him groan, and what I saw nearly made me come in my pants. I'd never seen such unadulterated pleasure on anyone—his eyes were half-closed, mouth open, head thrown back, and his Adam's apple bobbed up and down as he swallowed. The hand not stuck in my hair was holding his smoke and placed on his stomach, keeping his shirt up.

Seeing him so vulnerable gave me courage to take him deeper, until he hit the back of my throat.

"Edward," he breathed, bucking his hips.

His dick slid in further down my throat, making me gag. He moaned louder, doing it again and again.

I figured he got off on me gagging, but the more he did it, the less my throat rejected the intrusion. Soon, he was fucking my mouth with wild abandon. Placing his cigarette back between his lips, Jasper put his hands on either side of my head, drilling my mouth. I sat there, taking what gave me. I'd never thought I could enjoy giving a blow job, but this was Jasper. I doubted there was anything I wouldn't do for him.

Suddenly, he stopped, holding my head still, and looking me in the eye, which was so damn sexy, before shoving his dick down my throat. I could feel his cum sliding down my throat. I swallowed reflexively.

"You're going to be the death of me, Pretty Boy."

Jasper pulled me up, kissing me. I tried to pull away, because he could probably taste his dick on my tongue, but he kept me close, deepening the kiss.

I felt his hand travelling down my body, palming my dick through my jeans. "You finished?"

"No."

We immediately reversed positions, but instead of going down on me, Jasper only unbuttoned my jeans and pulled out my aching dick. He spat on his palm before rubbing me. It was the best hand job ever. Of course, all others were courtesy of my right hand, but still.

When we joined his friends, they gave me high-fives for popping my Rainbow Backroom cherry.

I was too embarrassed to say anything.

One good thing came from our backroom visit—Jasper didn't leave my side the whole night.


	8. Chapter 8

_Precious people always tell me_   
_That's a step_   
_a step too far_   
_Do you really want to hurt me_   
_Do you really want to make me cry_

_If it's true_   
_you do not know_   
_This boy loves without a reason_   
_I'm prepared to let you go_   
_If it's love you want from me_   
_Then take it away_   
_Everything is not what you see_   
_It's over today_

**Culture Club – Do You Really Want To Hurt Me**

"How horrible could it have been?" Bella asked, glancing at me with an amused look.

We were in her room, and I was telling her about Jasper taking me skating, while she painted her nails.

I'd been living with him for a couple months, give or take a week, and he'd never taken me anywhere besides school or Rainbow. Until last weekend.

"If we were alone, it wouldn't have been such a drama, but there were people!" I widened my eyes, remembering how embarrassing it had been to fall on my ass every second I dropped Jasper's hand. My ass wasn't happy, either.

"No shit, Edward? People, in December, at the ice rink?"

"Fuck you," I muttered, nudging her hand. She traced a pink line on her big toe, making me laugh.

"Bitch!" she shrieked, quickly grabbing a tissue to wipe the excess of nail polish.

I gasped, clutching at my heart in mock horror. "How you wound me!"

Mrs. Swan chose that moment to knock on her daughter's door, telling her a friend was looking for her.

"What friend? I'm right here!" I found myself talking, slightly hurt. Obviously, she was allowed to have other friends, but I had no idea she actually had other friends besides me.

Bella rolled her eyes. "Send him in," she answered to her mom.

Mrs. Swan smiled at me, as if saying Y _ou're still her best friend_ , before leaving. I bet she suspected I wasn't more than her daughter's friend, hence her allowing me in her room, and even to sleep in here when I spent the night.

"Did you get a hot boyfriend?" I demanded the second we were alone.

"I could have died and you wouldn't have noticed," she said mournfully. "All you care about these days is Jasper."

"Not true."

She gave me skeptic look, but before she could reply, Alec appeared in the doorway of her room, looking slightly embarrassed. Mrs. Swan had caused another victim to her embarrassing comments. I felt for him.

We hadn't talked much during our shared class, and at lunch, I made it a custom to meet Jasper at the small coffee shop across the street. He always cleared his schedule for me, and when he couldn't make it, Riley joined me.

I befriended Riley quickly, and learned a lot about what he did for a living, about his disease, and what his dreams were.

Maybe Bella was right. I hadn't spent much time with her, but I was making up for it now. Jasper was away at a conference, and even though Riley offered to keep me company, I declined. I missed my best friend.

Though, seeing Alec there, I realized she'd become friends with him in my absence.

"I'm here for the book you promised to lend me," he said in a small voice.

"Hi, Alec!" I waved.

"Hi." He stared at his socked feet.

Bella glared at me, and I remembered the guy had a crush on me. I decided to ignore the fact he liked me. It would make it awkward.

"Can you give him _A Christmas Carol_? It's in my bookcase."

I nodded, and jumped off the bed. "You can come in and close the door, or are you leaving already?" I asked, grabbing the book and handing it to him.

Our English teacher had told us to read it and write an essay on it for after the break; which started five hours ago.

"I guess I can stay for a while. If it's okay…"

"Sure. I'm done." Bella beamed at him, capping the small bottle of pink nail polish. "Your turn?" She winked at me.

I scowled, throwing myself back on the bed at her feet. "Honey, gay doesn't mean feminine—not for all of us."

"You suck." She pouted.

"I hear I'm pretty good at it."

Rolling onto my back, I caught Alec's eyes from my upside-down position. He turned red at my comment.

"So, you heard about the party?" Bella asked, ignoring my stupid statement. "We should all go."

"When is it?" Alec glanced at her.

"Tonight. At Jake's house."

"Jake…as in Jacob Black, the jock?" I snorted.

"He's not that bad."

"Whatever. Don't come crying to me when he breaks your heart."

"Funny, I told you the same thing about Jasper not so long ago."

"And it didn't happen."

"No shit? What about him sleeping around with you down the hall?" She raised an eyebrow in challenge.

"We have an open sort of relationship."

"Yeah, right. I always know when it happens, because your eyes are red in the morning."

"He's cheating on you and you're still with him?" Alec was incredulous, having paid close attention to my quarrel with Bella.

"I like to think he's not cheating. It's under my nose, so it's better than if it was behind my back." I shrugged. "You coming with us to the party?" I asked Alec, changing the subject.

They wouldn't understand why I stuck with Jasper. I truly hoped he'd change one of these days.

"If we have time to run back to my place. I'm not dressed for a party."

I waved a hand around. "No one will care. I'm going like this." I pointed to my jeans and sweater.

**OoO**

We arrived when the party was in full swing.

Bella immediately left in search of Black, and Alec and I stuck together, drinking beer.

Half an hour into the party, I was bored, and tired of pretending not to hear everyone talking about me. They were pointing to where Alec and I were leaning against a wall, drinking and talking.

"Wanna get out of here?" I caught Alec's eye.

He nodded quickly, relieved to get out of the house. I grabbed him by the wrist and led the way outside, not even stopping to say goodbye to Bella, who had found Jacob Black.

"What now?" Alec asked as we walked down the street.

"Ever been to Rainbow?"

"Uh, not sure what that is."

I turned to stare at him in surprise. "I thought you were gay, too."

"That doesn't mean I frequent clubs."

"So you know it's a club," I said, smirking.

"I overheard you talking to Bella and she mentioned it to me."

"Want to go?" I hadn't been there in over a week. I missed the club scene.

"Why not? Are we allowed inside?"

I winked, wrapping my arm around his shoulders. "Of course."

A short cab ride later, we were inside Rainbow. A Cindy Lauper song I absolutely loved was playing, so I immediately dragged Alec to the dance floor. He surprised me with his dancing skills.

A shy smile appeared on his face when I caught his eye, after a slow dunk he executed impeccably.

We danced until we were sweaty, and decided to take a break and have a drink.

I ordered a Cosmopolitan, since Riley had me hooked on girly drinks. I didn't drink them all the time, but when I did, it didn't make me feel any different, especially when Jasper or Peter laughed at me. So what if I liked sweet shit?

Alec kept denying me, until I threatened to never bring him here if he didn't at least take a sip and see if he liked it. Obviously, his eyes lit up when he tasted the drink.

I spent most of the cash Jasper had given me, for food at school, on drinks. I couldn't even feel bad; we were having fun.

As the night wore on, we kept dancing and drinking various cocktails. The effects of alcohol were visible on both of us, but I didn't really care. I was having fun. There was no one to take the drink from my hand and push a bottle of water my way, fixating me with icy blue eyes.

When I thought I noticed Peter in the crowd, I told Alec we should go. I didn't want Jasper's friends seeing me there with another guy. I could only guess what they'd tell him, but it wasn't like he was a saint. Though, I had morals.

Slightly drunk and a lot unstable, we stumbled to the main street and hailed a cab. Without thinking, I gave the man Jasper's address.

Somehow, during the ride, something changed between us. Alec swayed, humming along with the tunes on the radio, and our knees kept bumping. He was so warm, and he smelt good. I tried to shove that thought away, but it continued to resurface.

When we arrived at our destination, I paid the cabbie and walked to the front door. It took me a few tries to unlock it, but I managed. Once inside, I punched the code in the alarm and went to Jasper's liquor cabinet.

"We have Jack, Tequila, and Cointreau," I ticked off the bottles to Alec.

"Won't your parents be upset?" he slurred, and flopped down on the couch.

"What parents? I live with Jasper." I grinned at him, grabbing the Tequila bottle. "I've always wanted to try body shots."

Alec turned green.

"Are you going to throw up? Bathroom's down the hall."

"Why am I here? Why are you hurting me, Edward?"

"I want to have a good time," I answered honestly, not understanding his words. How was I hurting him?

I showed him the bottle in my hand. "Come." Taking his hand, I went to the kitchen. "Don't worry. We're alone. Besides, I doubt Jasper will care. He fucks around all the time."

"I don't want to be another fuck. I'm not that drunk." He sounded wounded.

"Can be arranged," I teased, uncapping the Tequila bottle.

"I'm serious, Edward."

Sighing tiredly, I turned to face Alec. He looked devastated, his blue eyes swimming with tears.

Seeing him like that, made me realize I'd always liked him, probably more than a friend or acquaintance or whatever we were.

"I want you, Alec." It wasn't a lie. He was good-looking, and ever since he showed interest in me, I was curious.

Jasper had pushed me to explore around—tonight was the night.

"Really?" He sounded shocked.

"Yep."

He surprised me by taking his shirt off and throwing it away. "Body shots mean I have to be undressed, right?" He gave me a dimpled smile, and my heart stuttered.

"Right." Grabbing half a lemon from the fridge, and the salt shaker, I pointed to the table.

Alec hopped on top of it, still smiling. He truly had a special, sweet smile. If I didn't love Jasper, I could see myself falling for Alec. He was totally my type.

I had no idea in which order I had to do the shots, so I started by licking a trail of salt from his abdomen, then sucked on the lemon before drinking a healthy gulp from the bottle. I immediately felt the alcohol burning down my throat on its way to my stomach.

Repeating the process a few times made me dizzy, so we switched roles. As I lay on top of the table, I started laughing hysterically, for no apparent reason. The room was spinning, and three of Alec leaned over me. His warm mouth pressed against mine. I kissed him back, moaning. He tasted of the Bloody Mary he last had at Rainbow.

After minutes, hours, I had no idea, we went upstairs.

I fumbled through Jasper's top drawer for everything we needed, before pushing Alec on the bed. I covered his body with mine, continuing where we had left off downstairs. Kissing his plump lips was addicting. Whenever I caught his lower lip between my teeth, he made a soft keening sound in the back of his throat. It went straight to my dick.

I kissed up and down his neck, licked his ear, bit his collarbone, and sucked at his nipples, leaving a spit line down his chest until I reached his underwear. Most of our clothes were scattered on the stairs as we had undressed on the way up.

Taking his boxers off, I put him in my mouth, sucking hard. He had an average kinda dick—medium sized and slightly thicker that Jasper's. I could fit him all in my mouth without gagging. He loved the blow job so much, that two minutes later he came down my throat.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled.

"Have you done this before?" I glanced at him, suddenly apprehensive.

"No. Do you top?"

"It will be a first for both of us." I grinned, leaning over him to catch his lips in another kiss.

I took my time lubing him up, as best as I could in my inebriated state. Once he was hard again and leaking, I guessed my job was done right.

Rolling a condom on my dick and coating it in lube, I inched closer to his hole. My brain cleared minutely as I focused on his face. I didn't want to hurt him.

My eyes widened the moment I pushed past the ring of muscles. He was so tight. Fuck. I had no term of comparison, but I knew in that moment why Jasper loved being a top. If I felt anything like this, I could understand why he kept coming back for more.

Alec cringed, clutching at my shoulder. I slid further in until I was all the way inside him. He blew a deep breath.

"Okay?"

"Go slowly."

"Sure." I kissed a spot behind his ear before withdrawing almost all the way out, only to push back in. The motion made my stomach muscles coil up further and my balls to tighten. I was going to come so hard—like never before.

I managed only three jerks of my hips before I exploded, a second after Alec. When he came, his ass muscles clamped down on my cock, taking me with him.

I had enough energy to take the condom off, before collapsing back on the bed next to Alec. He rolled on top of me, hugging me and peppering kisses on my chest.

All the drinking and the powerful orgasm left me exhausted. I fell asleep quickly, with Alec stroking my hair, which put me into a deep, restful sleep.

I was brutally woken up by a pair of strong hands pulling me into a vertical position. It gave me whiplash, and my stomach revolted.

Jasper looked furious. He pulled me out of the room, thrusting a pair of clean underwear at me.

"You fucking piece of shit!"

I eyed him, worried. I vaguely remembered last night. I'd gone to Black's party with Bella and Alec, then I left with Alec and hit Rainbow, then… oh, fuck.

"Have you lost your fucking mind?" Jasper shouted.

I leaned against the hallway's wall for support, willing my stomach to settle and my head to stop pounding.

"Aren't you going to say anything? Did you drink yourself stupid? Fucked your brains out on my bed?"

"I'm sorry," I whispered, shame washing over me. It only worsened the feeling in my stomach.

"I'm taking you to your parents after we take the other kid home. I don't want to see you ever again!"

It was too much for how I felt. I couldn't take it, so I burst in tears, flinging myself at him.

"Jasper, please. No. I was an idiot."

"Yes, you were. You have serious issues, Edward. I can't help you."

"I'm not crazy!"

"My branch of specialty is psychology, not psychiatry. People mix them up all the time."

"I don't need you professionally. I just need you." I sounded pathetic, even to my own ears.

"Oh, I can tell. The second I left town, you went to another." His cold blue eyes glared daggers at me.

"You're such a hypocrite! You always fuck around, but I'm not allowed?"

"Not in my house! Not in my fucking bed!"

My stomach did a somersault, and I cupped my hands to my mouth.

"But don't worry. You can fuck him all you want in your room back at Mommy and Daddy's house. I don't give a shit."

"I'm sick," I grunted, trying not to vomit.

"Yes, what you did makes me sick, too."

"No. I don't feel well," I mumbled.

Jasper eyed me worried. Before he could do or say anything, I bent over and emptied my stomach all over his feet.

"Jesus. How much did you drink?" He wrapped his arm around my shoulders. I leaned into him, feeling woozy.

He walked me to his bathroom. On the way, I noticed Alec was awake, sitting on top of the bed. It made me feel worse.

After a shower, where Jasper helped me, and throwing up once again—in the toilet this time—I managed to get dressed. I sat on the couch with Alec, waiting for Jasper to change his clothes.

Alec didn't acknowledge me, sitting on the other side of the couch, arms folded across his chest.

I had my bags at my feet. This was it. Jasper was kicking me out.

I didn't want to go back to my parents. Apparently, I wasn't allowed to have fun with others like Jasper. It was my fault for doing it on his bed, and not in the guest bedroom, but I doubted that would have changed anything. Me sleeping around was the last straw for Jasper's insecurities.

If he allowed me inside his walls, I'd help with his trust issues. I knew I could make him trust me and show me how much he cared. Maybe in time, I'd have been able to make him love me back, because he was capable of love. I'd seen the way he treated Riley and Peter, and even me. Jasper wasn't aware what some of his actions meant.

But it was all wishful thinking considering I lost the little trust I had gained in the months we spent together. I lost him.

When Jasper joined us, he had fresh clothes on and looked tired. I idly wondered why he was back so early. None of this would have happened if he'd returned later tonight, as scheduled.

After dropping Alec home, we drove to my house.

"Can you answer me one question?"

He shrugged, parking in front of my driveway.

"Why are you back early?"

"You really want to know?" He eyed me skeptically.

I was apprehensive.

"Pete called and told me you were at Rainbow with a friend, and you were both drunk. I was worried, so I took the first plane back. Besides, I missed you, Pretty Boy."

"Forgive me." I sobbed. "Let's go back to your place."

"No. I knew you'd find someone your age. It was a mistake to lead you on for so long."

I huffed. "Alec hates me right now. I want you—only you. Can't you understand that, Jasper?"

"Edward, go to your family. Alec will forgive you. He likes you. What's there not to like?"

"So you like me, too?"

Jasper pulled something from his jacket pocket. "I got you this. I thought of you when I saw it."

I took the small folded paper from him. It contained something long, thin, and hard.

"Open it inside," he instructed.

He helped me take my things out of his car. Before I could do the walk of shame toward the front door, he grabbed my hand.

Pecking my lips, he stared at me sadly. "Goodbye, Pretty Boy."

I was going to miss being called that.

I dropped my bags and threw my arms around his neck, kissing him deeper. "I love you."

Jasper sucked in a breath, pulling away and staring at me, paralyzed. When he regained his senses, he walked to his car, slid in, and drove away.

I stared after him dumbly, with tears rolling down my cheeks. He didn't love me.

Mom was exhilarated to see me back. She thought I was crying tears of happiness.

I let Dad believe I was over the phase of being gay.

I didn't have enough strength to talk to them, so I locked myself in my room and sobbed into my pillow until I fell asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Be gentle with me :) All I can promise is that things will get better. You know me. I'm a sucker for HEAs.
> 
> This had to happen. Though, I'm curious on whose side you are. Let me know.
> 
> See you on Wednesday for the teaser and on Sunday for the update.


	9. Chapter 9

_I don't need your sympathy_   
_There's nothing you can say or do for me_   
_And I don't want a miracle_   
_You'll never change for no one_

_Now I'm strong enough to live without you_   
_Strong enough and I quit crying_   
_Long enough now I'm strong enough_   
_To know you gotta go_

**Cher – Strong Enough**

"Everyone is worried," Bella said, softly rubbing my back.

I snorted into my pillow, hugging it tighter.

"Edward, it's been a week. You need to leave your room."

"No. I'm going to live here all my life."

She lay next to me, turning my head so I faced her. I could see the concern for me etched on her face.

"We can go to the ice rink. I heard the Penguins have a surprise for the fans."

Tears sprang into my eyes. "Jasper lives for the Penguins. He loves hockey."

"Maybe you'll see him there." Bella winked.

I narrowed my eyes. "He doesn't want anything to do with me! I appreciate it, Bella. I know what you're doing, but stop." I pulled the pillow over my head, blocking away the world once again.

"Honey, I haven't seen you in over a week. Please. We can do whatever you want." I could tell she was pouting without even seeing her face.

Truth be told, I'd missed my friend too, but moping around in my room and isolating myself from the world was the best choice after my breakup with Jasper.

"We can watch a movie," I suggested, knowing she wouldn't stop pestering me unless I agreed to do something together.

"Awesome! There's this new one with Channing Tatum—"

"I meant here. On the laptop. I'm not leaving my room,"

"Edward!" She shoved at my shoulder.

"Take it or leave it." I lifted my head to look her in the eye.

"Fine, but make it a Channing movie."

" _White House Down_?"

"Is he naked in that one?"

I rolled my eyes, knowing what she wanted. " _Magic Mike_ , it is."

Bella beamed, leaning over and planting a loud kiss on my mouth.

I pushed her away, wishing she'd stop doing that. I knew it was her way of showing me affection, but it creeped me out.

After I found the DVD, we settled on top of my bed and watched the glorious movie, though unlike other times, I barely paid any attention to the muscled bodies. If I didn't stay focused enough on his face, I could imagine Pettyfer being Jasper. They looked pretty similar.

**OoO**

It took Bella three days to make me leave the house. She told me about clothes on sale at my favorite hippie store.

Being locked in my room for so long, I had lost track of time. Seeing all the Christmas decorations hanging everywhere in town reminded me of the upcoming holiday.

"It's going to sound stupid, but when's Christmas?" I glanced at Bella over a rack of sweaters.

"Tomorrow, silly! Today is Christmas Eve."

"What? You're joking!"

"You're too cute. Don't worry. I forgive you, and your parents understand, too." She waved a hand around.

"You don't get it. I have to buy Alec a forgive me present. Fuck, I've been a total moron. I didn't even call him all this time!" Panic bubbled in my chest.

For the past week, I'd tried concocting a plan to make him forgive me. I knew how it hurt to have your first turn his back on you, and I'd done the very same thing Jasper had done to me, to poor Alec.

"Alec? You don't mean… _Jasper_?" She whispered his name as if it was some classified information.

"He doesn't want me, remember? Oh, look! Isn't this awesome?" I showed her a rainbow sweater.

Bella giggled. "Do you want your mom to have a heart attack?"

"I'm getting it," I said determined.

"You know what you could get Alec?"

I flicked my eyes to her, then searched for the correct size for my sweater, before holding it in front of me to see in the mirror how it looked on me.

"He likes to read and he has great taste in music." She gave me a pointed look, smirking.

I remembered his knowledge of music. "We're going to the music store after this. How does this look?" I caught her eye in the mirror.

It was a little too colorful for me, but even if I only wore it once, I wanted this piece of clothing. It was so _me_.

"You look fabulous!"

I froze for a second at the sound of the exaggeratedly high voice, before turning around to see Riley a few feet away. My eyes darted around, scared to find Jasper somewhere. He wasn't there.

"I'm alone. Last minute shopping," he explained. He approached us, a dozen colorful items of clothing dangling off his arm. "You should get that sweater."

Recovering from my shock at seeing him, I smiled shyly. "Really?"

"Yes. It fits you."

Bella cleared her throat, and I quickly took her hand, bringing her closer.

"Riley, this is Bella, my best friend. Bella, Riley." Introducing people wasn't my thing.

They shook hands, then she offered to take my rainbow sweater to the cash register. Riley looked after her curiously, then caught my eye, rising a brow.

"We're just friends," I told him with a roll of my eyes.

"She definitely likes you a lot."

"Well, that can't happen. Listen, it was nice seeing you…" I tried to make a hasty exit, without twisting the knife deeper in my wound.

There was a reason why I didn't leave my room or the house.

Pittsburgh was pretty big, but considering _our kind,_ as Bella so kindly put it, not so long ago spent most of the time here on Liberty Avenue, it was inevitable to bump into either Jasper or his friends. It hurt.

"Edward, I'm sorry. I tried to warn you about Jasper."

"You also told me I was the exception."

"He misses you." He looked at me sadly. His brown eyes seemed to implore me to do something. Not happening. I wasn't going to Jasper. It was his move, so to speak. "He has no idea what to do with himself, but his pride won't let him admit he needs you."

"So he hasn't said anything about me?" My heart pummeled to my stomach.

"We met at Rainbow the evening of the day you left." I bit my tongue to keep from shouting that I didn't leave, he kicked me out. "He told Peter and me to forget about the ungrateful little bitch."

"Aw, how sweet of him!" Sarcasm kept me from falling to the floor in a sobbing mess.

"Did you say anything to him that day? I can tell something is eating at him. Whatever you said, you hit a nerve."

I bit my lip. My last words to Jasper were crystal clear in my head.

Did they affect him?

Could he really care for me?

Gulping nervously, I met Riley's light brown eyes. "I said…I told him…I loved him," I mumbled, quickly looking away. "I have no idea why I said it. Probably desperation to keep him around?"

Riley rubbed the spot between his eyes. "It's worse than I thought."

"Why are you acting as if I cursed him? Remember, I'm the victim here! This is the first time I've left the house since it happened."

"You two." He chuckled. "You're a match."

 _No, we're not._ "Wait. What?" I frowned, confused at why he was saying that.

"Call him, Edward."

"No way!"

"Fine. Suit yourself. Be a stubborn dick." He turned on his heel and headed the other way, browsing through shelves, not looking back at me.

My head was on my conversation with Riley for the rest of our shopping trip. Even Bella gave up asking what we had talked about.

I had no idea what albums Alec owned, so I went with a **Best Of '80's Rock 'n' Roll**. If I hadn't lost track of time so badly, I'd probably make him a compilation of my favorite songs and burn them on a CD, but for now, this CD had to do the trick.

"Can you drop me by Alec's? I'll walk home," I asked Bella when our shopping was done.

"You sure?"

"No. I have to do this, though. I was an asshole to him."

"He blames himself," she mumbled.

"What? How do you know? Did you talk to him?"

"Yes. I'm his friend, too. He thinks he took advantage of your drunken self."

"That's crap." I couldn't believe he took all the blame. It was _my_ fault.

She shrugged. "That's how he feels."

**OoO**

My legs shook as I rang the doorbell of Alec's house. He answered promptly, wearing only a pair of sweats and a loose white t-shirt.

His eyes widened fractionally as if I wasn't who he expected. Of course, I wasn't. "Edward!"

"Hi." I forced a smile.

"Come in." He stepped aside, smiling brightly.

"Uh, no. I just dropped by to say sorry and give you this." I handed him the gift bag. "Merry Christmas, Alec."

"I have something for you, too. But first, would you come in? I'm alone. My parents are at the airport to pick up my aunts."

"Aunts? As in plural?" I stepped inside his house. It felt like home—so warm, smelling of holiday, family pictures on the hallway wall, and Alec smiling at me.

"Yes. I'll tell you another time." He winked.

I nodded, not pushing for information, but I could only guess. If he said aunts, it explained why his parents were so open to him being gay.

I shuffled nervously on my feet, unsure what to do. We'd always had an awkward connection, but now the tension had upped a notch or two.

He looked inside the bag and graced me with the most glorious smile. It lit up his whole face, and his blue eyes shone brightly. "Thank you. Now, my present for you."

Alec placed my gift to him on the small table by the front door, then closed the distance between us. He placed his hands on my shoulders and leaned closer. I could feel his breath on my face. Then he kissed me—full on the lips.

It took me by surprise. When he made to pull back, rejected, I held his head in my hands and deepened the kiss. He tasted of gingerbread cookies.

I was sure we were making a huge mistake, which would hurt us both, but I couldn't get enough of him. Since I kissed him at Jasper's, it was all I could think of when Alec sprung in my mind, aside from feeling guilty at hurting him.

The front door opened, and a short blonde woman gasped, before beaming at us and cheering.

"Taking advantage of being alone?" She smirked, eyes locked with Alec.

He turned red. "Of the mistletoe." He pointed above us.

I hadn't noticed it, but luckily, his quick thinking might have saved us. A little.

When more people appeared behind the woman in the doorway, I knew we were in trouble.

I truly hoped this wasn't his mother, but then again, his whole family was in the house now. A tall man, most likely Alec's dad, closed the door behind the gang.

"Well, introduce us, _beau_." The blonde lady nudged Alec's shoulder.

He turned a few shades redder, stepping closer to me and taking my sweaty hand. Part of me wanted to run for the hills, but another part of me wanted to be there. My brain told me Alec was safe, Alec was what I needed to be happy, but my heart wanted Jasper. Always.

"Auntie Jane, this is Edward."

"That Edward? Oh, it's a pleasure to meet you, sweetie! Alec told me so much about you!"

I side-eyed him, worried. I didn't know his family at all.

He truly was close to them.

In the next couple of hours, I learned a lot about the Lermans. Alec's mom, Sandra, was the most supportive mom of a gay son. Even though I could tell it embarrassed him, I wished to have such a caring and understanding mom. His father wasn't far behind, either. He praised his son left and right, saying how proud of him he was.

Apparently, my friend won a few children's talent awards, having a wonderful voice. Who'd have thought?

When I caught his eye, he shook his head, indicating I wouldn't hear him sing. Too bad.

Then, there was his aunt. Jane was more like his older sister, since there was only ten years between them, and Sandra had brought her up after their parents died. Jane was dating the hottest Parisian, as she described Sophie, who cupped her flamed cheeks.

This was the way a real family should be—visiting, teasing, communicating, loving. A wave of envy hit me hard. I wished my family was half as caring as his, but it wasn't the case.

Mom had come to me daily while I stayed locked in my room, but she not once asked about Jasper, about how I felt. She prattled on about her day, about Dad, about the snow, what we had for dinner.

"I'm so sorry about that." Alec apologized as he led me out of his house.

"It's okay."

"They think we're a couple." He toed some snow with the tip of his boot.

"We could be." I wanted normality. Waiting for Jasper, and hoping he'd change for me, wasn't going to do me any good.

He gave me a skeptic look. "What about Jasper?" Alec hugged himself as if the name hurt him.

"He doesn't care." I cupped his cheek, pressing my forehead to his.

"Promise you won't hurt me. I really like you, Edward. I can't do this if you'll run to him when he decides he wants you again."

"I won't. I won't go. I won't hurt you. I like you, too."

We brushed our lips together, my fingers knotting in his soft, dark hair.

The porch lights blinked on and off, making him huff and me laugh.

"I always wanted to do that!" Jane whined from the other side of the door, covering Sandra's chiding.

"It's going to be a long holiday," Alec said mournfully. "I love Auntie Jane, don't get me wrong, but she drives me nuts."

"You're welcome to drop by my house."

"I'll keep that in mind."

With one last kiss, I departed. Walking home gave me time to think over my decision to be with Alec. I hoped it was a wise to start a relationship with him.

Jasper had told me time and time again to be with someone my age. I truly liked Alec, but I was afraid I'd break my promise to him if Jasper returned into my life. I couldn't say no to him. I'd fall under his spell again—he only had to smile, and I was gone.

I got home in time for dinner, where I told my parents I had a boyfriend. To my amazement, they didn't comment on it. Maybe they only had a problem with Jasper's age.

In my room, I cleaned my desk when I couldn't find my iPod. I wanted to put some carols on it and listen while in bed. After endless minutes of fruitless searching, a chill ran down my spine. What if I forgot it at Jasper's? Fuck, no. Just then, I moved aside a book and found it, along with the unopened present from Jasper.

Perfect.

How could I ever get over him when I thought of him every five seconds, and there was stuff everywhere that reminded me of him?

Considering it was Christmas, I decided to open it and take it as a present. To my disappointment, inside the foil of paper was a leather bracelet. I had no idea what I expected, but that was so…dull.

The bracelet was handmade from what I could see, but nothing spectacular—a common leather cuff.

Laying on my bed with the earphones on, I turned the bracelet over, running my thumb on the soft leather. That was when I felt something on the inside of the bracelet.

Flipping the nightstand lamp on, I squinted at the engraving. It looked like a J. That lone letter shattered me.

Holy shit.

He loved me.

This was his way of saying he loved me. And I ruined everything.

All I wanted to do was run to him and beg for forgiveness at his feet, but I had promised Alec we'd give our relationship a shot. I didn't want to hurt him.

In the process of keeping Alec happy, I'd suffer.

It was time to call Dr. Love. I picked up my phone and speed dialed the number.

A few seconds later, a groggy voice answered. "Hel—"

"Bella, I screwed up." I cut her off mid-answer.


	10. Chapter 10

_Say you won't leave me no more_   
_I'll take you back again_   
_No more excuses no, no_   
_'Cos I've heard them all before_   
_A hundred times or more_

_I'll forgive and forget_   
_If you say you'll never go_   
_'Cos it's true what they say_   
_It's better the devil you know_

_I'll take you back_   
_I'll take you back again_

**Kylie Minogue – Better The Devil You Know**

With the beginning of second semester, it seemed everyone knew about me and Alec.

It wasn't like we made a secret of our relationship, but we hadn't gone public either. We had each other's backs, and sometimes, Bella snapped at the odd person staring at us the wrong way.

The Loners' Club was rapidly turning into The Gay Rights Club. A few brave students, more curious than anything else, stopped one of us in the hallway or dropped by our table at lunch to ask questions about being gay. Sometimes, I felt like a rare exhibit at the museum, especially when Alec and I kissed, 'cuz that happened at school, too. We were teenagers, after all, like everyone else.

The sad part was the others' parents weren't called at school if they kissed in the hallway or held hands.

"That was completely humiliating," Mom told me one day when they returned from meeting the principal at school.

"I told you I was dating Alec. Remember? At Christmas. You chose to ignore me."

"We thought you were joking," Dad interjected. "So that older rapist got bored of you, and you moved on to someone your age?"

I balled my hands at my sides. _Fuck you! Fuck you! Stop saying shit about Jasper._

"What about Bella, darling? She's such a sweet girl," Mom added softly when she saw me growing angry.

"If you haven't noticed, Bella is not exactly my type. Heck, you met Alec! He's been here a lot lately. What the fuck did you think we were doing in my room for hours?"

They both looked horrified. Stunned into silence. They didn't even comment on my curse words.

"Of course, you don't care what I do. You never did. I could hang myself in my room. Whatever."

I turned around, ready to head upstairs, when Dad called my name in a tone I'd never heard him use. It sounded dejected, defeated, resigned.

"Yeah?" I frowned, looking between them.

"We'd like to meet this Alec. Properly. His parents seemed like decent folks."

"Uh, sure." It was my turn to be stunned into silence.

A few days later, on a warm early April morning, I let Alec inside my house, ready for the meeting. He looked nervous, and I didn't blame him. I had no idea what would happen. My parents were unpredictable lately.

We sat on the loveseat, holding hands, facing my parents who were on the couch.

It reminded me of the time they met Jasper when he'd tried bringing me back to them, only to understand why I hated them so much and wanted to escape my family. I quickly pushed away that thought.

They'd changed somewhat since I returned home, but not as much as I wanted. We still weren't communicating enough.

As we talked, Mom seemed genuinely curious of what was happening at school and how everyone was treating us. Even Dad commented on how unjust it was to pick on us. It was like picking on nerds. I tried not to point out that I was a nerd and gay; perfect combination for my peers.

All in all, it appeared they had talked to Alec's parents and had done some research of their own, because they knew about us more than I ever told them. Actually, all I'd told them was Alec and I were dating. They knew about our dates, which creeped me out. Alec caught my eyes, confirming my suspicions—his parents had talked to mine.

Mom even promised to keep an open mind about our relationship. It was a huge step, coming from them. The last time we had this discussion, they thought I was being forced. Back then, they couldn't even conceive maybe, just maybe, I really was gay.

"Sandra offered to take me to PFALG club." Mom beamed.

"It's PFLAG, as in Parents, Friends and Family of Lesbians and Gays, and it's part of the LGBT community," Alec explained automatically.

"You don't have to," I interjected, elbowing him in the ribs. She wasn't exactly a supportive parent, and as much as I wanted her to understand me and be there for me, it would be too much.

"I want to learn how to be around you," she answered brightly.

That just showed she didn't really understand me at all. "Be yourself. Like you used to be. I haven't changed, Mom. I've always been gay," I said seriously.

Both my parents winced at the word. It was the first I'd said it so calmly and while holding another guy's hand, but they had to see me for who I was.

It was going to be a bumpy ride, but I got them to at least accept I was gay and allow me to have a boyfriend. I considered that itself as a miracle.

**OoO**

"You sure about this?" Alec shuffled on his feet, stalling.

"Yes. Come in." I dragged him by the sleeve inside Rainbow.

I didn't care if we bumped into Jasper or any of his friends. It was Alec's night and I wanted to have fun.

"You turn eighteen only once." Catching his chin between my thumb and index finger, I pressed my lips to his. "We're going to have fun."

"Drinks on me. The least I can do," he said, caving.

"Okay." I kissed him deeply.

A shot of Vodka later, we hit the dance floor. They were playing _T-Rex—I Love To Boogie_.

Alec moved sinuously against me, after turning his back to my front. His delectable ass kept rubbing against my half hard dick. It filled as the friction became more and more insistent. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders, and kissed his neck.

Being with him was as easy as breathing. We never did anything that felt forced. Sometimes, days passed without us kissing or sleeping together. It gave me enough freedom, and didn't make me feel chained. He also loved to surprise me with my favorite candy when he noticed my mood was down, or lately, he had a habit of bringing me flowers for no apparent reason. What surprised me the most was how romantic and attentive he was in bed. I had never experienced that.

Alec opened my eyes to how much more there was to a relationship. Fucking wasn't all. Sometimes a guy needed to be wooed, and Alec knew how to do it.

After a few fast songs, a slow one came on, and I turned him around, my arms loosely linked around his neck. I pressed my temple against his, swaying along with the slow beat of the love song. We had yet to say that magic word, but I was comfortable with what we had. Truthfully, I didn't feel that way. I knew he did, though.

Alec twisted his head to press his lips to my ear. "Love me tender, love me sweet."

A shiver ran down my spine at his voice humming along with Elvis. He'd only graced me with his sweet singing voice twice since I learned he knew how to sing.

My eyes opened when I felt an intense stare. Across the dance floor, near the Backroom door, was a pair of dark blue eyes looking my way.

I gulped thickly.

Everything and everyone disappeared for a fraction of second. It was just the two of us.

My chest hurt.

He cocked his head to the side as if regarding his next move, then the spell broke when a shirtless guy stepped in front of him. They quickly vanished through the door, without even a glance behind.

I wasn't thinking right, because if I were, I wouldn't have pulled Alec that way.

"You know what depravity goes behind that door?" he shouted in my ear over the loud song pumping around us.

"Let's find out."

I'd been there only once with Jasper, and it was amazing.

Once inside the Backroom, Alec squeezed my hand. "We could stay here, near the door."

I wasn't paying attention to him. I had a one-track mind—to find Jasper. I walked aimlessly through the corridors of the maze of the room until I saw him. He was already fucking his trick.

Conveniently, there was an empty spot right in front of him. A low wall separated us. I placed Alec's hands on the wall, next to the other guy's, and bent his head down.

"Don't look around. I promise to make you feel real good." I pecked his cheek. "Happy birthday."

"This is exciting, actually," he admitted as I unzipped his pants and pulled them down.

Jasper watched me intensely as I stroked my dick before rolling a condom on. I ripped the lube foil with my teeth, prepping my boyfriend while looking my ex in the eye.

His eyes widened when I pushed into Alec for the first time. I braced my hands on Alec's shoulders, never breaking eye-contact.

Jasper wet his lips and groaned lowly when I picked up pace. He mimicked my rhythm. It was as if we were fucking each other.

My eyes rolled back as heat exploded in my veins. The way he looked at me was enough to make me lose my mind. When I ran my hand through Alec's hair, Jasper noticed the leather bracelet around my wrist. His head tipped back, but he kept watching me through heavy lids, his mouth slightly opened.

My orgasm took me by surprise. I exploded deep in Alec's ass, and fell on his back, moaning too loudly Jasper's name. I heard him coming a moment after me with a short yell, but no name.

Saying Jasper's name in the throes of passion had never happened, not when I was with Alec. I hoped he was blissfully unaware.

"That was hot." He turned to stare at me amazed, face flushed and eyes alight.

As we redressed, I looked around, but only saw the guy Jasper had fucked. He was buttoning his jeans.

I had no idea where Jasper had gone, but I felt horrible. I used Alec to get my pleasure while imagining I was with Jasper.

My insides twisted.

I was such a sick bastard.

"Uh, I need the bathroom," I told Alec once we left that sinful room.

"I'll be at the bar."

At the urinals, I had the misfortune to land right next to my nemesis. He snatched me into a stall, locking the door and pressing me against it, then he kissed me as if the world was ending. I kissed him right back, clawing at his clothes.

Jasper turned me around so I was facing the wall, pushed my jeans and boxers down, before pushing two fingers into me. I moaned loudly, throwing my head back. Even though it itched, considering no one had been there since him, the feeling diminished when he added lube. Then he gave me his cock, and I moaned even louder.

He cupped a hand over my mouth, moving urgently against me.

The whole thing was over too soon for my liking. I hadn't felt so alive since the last time I'd been with him.

I had no clue what just happened between us, not here, not in the Backroom, but it made me feel like we hadn't been separated at all.

After buckling my jeans, I turned around. "I miss you." In front of me was a wall. The stall was empty.

I felt empty.

I questioned if it had been my imagination, but then I saw the used condom floating in the toilet.

Fuck.

It was worse than what I'd done to Alec.

What Jasper did to me…

I turned toward the bowl and retched.

He made me feel cheap.

Why the fuck did he choose to hurt me like that?

I hadn't done shit to him.

So what if I slept with the only guy my age I liked? It happened in his bed. So what? It was a stupid move, but he fucked around a lot. A few doors away from me when we lived together.

I heaved again in the toilet. I never knew I could be physically sick quite so literally.

"You okay in there, sweetcheeks?" A light, concerned voice asked from behind me.

"Yeah." I got up, flushed the toilet, and went to rinse my mouth.

"Did you combine drinks?" The same voice asked.

I raised my head to meet a pair of dark eyes in the mirror. The guy behind me wore mascara and lipstick, and had spiked, short dark hair. He looked decent for a drag queen.

"Yeah, something like that," I lied.

"Is anyone with you here? I'll help you find him."

That was really nice of him. I felt really weak. "Sure. Thanks. I'm Edward," I said, taking his offered hand. I noticed his nails were red.

"Liza."

"Like Liza Minelli?" I chuckled.

"Unless you want my real name—Seth."

"Nice to meet you. So, do you sing?"

"I'm pretty good. Come to my show. This Saturday." He gave me a ticket from his purse.

"Do you mind me asking for two?" I gave him a nervous smile.

"It's plus one." He pointed to something on the ticket. I couldn't see much due to the bad lightening in the club.

"Right. Thanks, Seth. I mean Liza."

He laughed, shaking his head.

"There you are!" Alec came barreling at me. "Oh, hi." He glanced at Seth.

I introduced them before saying goodbye and promising to go to his show.

On the cab ride home, Alec noticed there was something off with me.

"Something happened in the bathroom. Actually, in that room, didn't it?"

I bit my lip, and kept my eyes closed. "Sorry if I ruined the mood. I guess Vodka isn't my drink."

"Bullshit. I saw Jasper."

"You did?" I gasped. I couldn't breathe anymore. He knew.

How was that possible? I'd kept his head down so he wouldn't see Jasper.

"Yeah. He stormed out of the bathroom and headed out the door, bumping into people."

I sighed in relief. "Oh, yeah. How did he look? Angry?"

Alec shook his head, looking at me curiously. "He was far away, but I think…he was…crying."

My heart leapt in my throat then fell into my stomach, shattering into a million pieces.

_Why, Jasper?_

_Why are you an idiot?_

_You love me too._

"We saw each other," I admitted.

"He seemed affected."

I didn't say anything to that.

"Well, this is me. Call me tomorrow, baby." He kissed me goodbye, making the cabbie clear his throat.

_Homophobic asshole._

Once Alec was inside his house, I gave the cabbie Jasper's address.

We had a lot to talk about.

If he thought I wouldn't visit after what he'd done, then he was a moron. _Four months of nothing, and then we meet, and he screws me over. Quite literally._

When he finally opened the door of his house, I'd been standing on his porch for a good five minutes ringing the bell and knocking. He was leaning against the jamb, dressed only in pajama bottoms and holding a bottle of scotch.

"Pretty Boy!" He grabbed a handful of my jacket and pulled me inside.

I stumbled over my feet. My heart did a somersault at the mention of my nickname, but we weren't going to cave for that. No. We were strong and wanted an explanation. Or so my brain wanted to believe.

"You're drunk." I closed the door and locked it behind me.

"Nah. So, whatcha doing here? Did I remind you how it was and you came back for another round?"

"I wanted to talk, but clearly you're too drunk to hold yourself, let alone a conversation." I rolled my eyes when he swayed, looking at me with an entertained expression.

Jasper pointed a finger at my chest, jabbing my pectoral in the process. "You were a naughty boy tonight." He actually giggled.

"Jeez." I took hold of his elbow when he lost equilibrium and nearly toppled over me. "I'm taking you to bed."

"I knew you wanted more. There's plenty where that came from—"

"Shut up, will you? Tonight was a huge mistake." I dragged him up the stairs with a lot of difficulty. I was still a frail teenager, while Jasper was one hundred and eighty pounds of muscle. Once in his room, I sat him on the bed, making sure he was lying down. "Now, sleep it off."

"Don't go, Pretty Boy. Stay a while." He slurred the words, reaching for my hand and missing, which made him pout.

My resolve broke when I saw the state he was in. I didn't remember him being a clingy drunk. He was usually just horny.

As I sat next to him, with my knees tucked under my chin, I contemplated whether or not it was moral to take advantage of his inebriated state and ask the question I wanted. He'd tell me the truth, but I couldn't do that. I'd done enough damage for one night.

After a while, I lay next to him and stared at his ceiling. It reminded me of our first time and his proposal. Well, his ceiling was a boring white.

"Your ceiling sucks," I joked.

It made him laugh loudly. "I can't believe what an idiot I was. I should have known you were too young and innocent to even understand my suggestion of coming over to my place."

"Yup. That's me—little, naïve Edward."

Jasper turned his head to look at me, sobering somewhat. "You're dating the kid?"

"Who, Alec? Yeah. I guess." I kept my eyes on the ceiling, not blinking, not moving an inch.

"He's kinda cute."

"He is." My eyes watered from not blinking, and from the overwhelming emotions attacking me. "I think he loves me."

"Don't you?" He rolled on his side, moving a piece of hair out of my eyes.

"No, but I like him. A lot."

"But you don't love him?"

I met his eyes—wide, curious azures. "Why the sudden interest in my love life?"

"Despite what you think, I want you happy," he murmured, tracing a finger on the side of my face. Goosebumps appeared all over my body.

"You have no idea what I think, what I want. If you cared, you wouldn't have left."

"It hurt like a motherfucker to see you naked in my bed with that kid," he admitted, never taking his eyes off mine.

"His name is Alec."

Jasper stared with a look that clearly said "Your point?"

I cleared my throat, lifting myself a little on my elbow and bringing our faces closer in the process. "Why didn't you come after me? I know you feel something. I saw the engraving on the bracelet."

He seemed surprised by that piece of information. "You did?"

"It's beautiful." I raised my left hand, admiring the cuff. "Thank you."

Smiling, Jasper pulled off my glasses and placed them on the nightstand, before closing the gap between us. His lips were as soft as I remembered. He tasted of nicotine and booze, but underneath that he was still Jasper—my first love.

"I'm so sorry for earlier. I have no idea what came over me. I had to—" He broke off, resting his forehead against mine. "I had to claim you."

"Yeah, it was pretty sick. And I hate to say it, but if you want another go, it's not happening."

He drew back. "Of course, you're dating that guy."

 _Alec! What is it with him and avoiding saying his name?_ "Alec, yes. Though, that's not why. I mean, it has to do with it, but you see… I don't want to make you feel worse. It kinda hurts," I blurted, looking anywhere but at him.

"Fucking shit!" He cursed, cupping my cheek. "I'm so sorry, Edward. I should have prepared you better, been more careful. Not done it at all!"

I gulped, taking his face between my hands. He had a day's worth of stubble, and I loved that rough feeling under my palms. "You were the only one."

His eyes flashed, then he sat on his knees. "Roll over." He grabbed something from the bedside table. I did as told, too dazed to think straight. "When you say I was the only one…what do you mean?"

The white flag appeared in my head—abort mission. He was too drunk to have that conversation.

I went with part of the truth, when I realized he truly wanted an answer. "I mean, no one's fucked me. There's only been Alec, but I'm the top." _And you're the only one I'll ever love, but it's too soon for you to hear that,_ I added in my head.

Jasper cursed under his breath, pushing my pants and underwear down. I felt his cool fingers rubbing some sort of gel along my crack. It made me shift uncomfortably.

"What did I just tell you?" I said, unsure what the hell he was doing. I really wasn't up for round two.

"Will you stay still? It's lotion—to soothe the pain."

"Oh. Okay." I settled, allowing him to do the aftercare. He was so gentle, showing me a side of him I rarely saw.

Jasper might never say the words, but he showed me. He always had—protecting me from my parents, asking if I was bullied at school, buying me breakfast, trying to make me breakfast when he had no idea how to cook, taking care of my hangover ass, even though it hurt him to see me with another, chiding his friends for giving me alcohol, buying me the bracelet.

 _I love you too_ , I said in my head, closing my eyes.


	11. Chapter 11

_Love hurts, love scars, love wounds_   
_And mars, any heart_   
_Not tough or strong enough_   
_To take a lot of pain, take a lot of pain_   
_Love is like a cloud_   
_Holds a lot of rain_   
_Love hurts_

**Nazareth - Love Hurts**

* * *

 

I shot up as a loud bass started playing in the otherwise quiet room.

_Once I ran to you (I ran)_   
_Now I'll run from you_   
_This tainted love you've given_   
_I give you all a boy could give you_   
_Take my tears and that's not nearly all_   
_Tainted love_   
_Tainted love_

My fucking ringtone for Alec. I had to get up and answer, but I was busy settling my heart.

It made me question his reasons for choosing this particular song for the ring tone. Probably to remind me what a hypocrite I was.

_Don't touch me please_   
_I cannot stand the way you tease_   
_I love you though you hurt me so_   
_Now I'm going to pack my things and go_   
_Touch me baby, tainted love_   
_Touch me baby, tainted love_

"Make it shut up!" Jasper grunted.

I squinted at him, still sleepy. He'd covered his head with a pillow.

I was amazed I actually spent the night. While he was taking care of my poor ass, I managed to fall asleep. And he didn't wake me to kick me out. It solidified my suspicious—he did love me.

When Marilyn Mason started moaning about tainted love again, I finally rolled out of the bed and looked around for my jeans. He'd thrown them away last night, before that heart-warming gesture.

I spotted my pants at the foot of the bed with my socks still tangled in them. Lucky he'd pulled my boxers back on once he was done.

_Touch me baby, tainted love  
Touch me baby, tainted love_

"Fucking shit, Pretty Boy! Do something."

"I got it. Chill."

Alec's smiling face was flashing on my screen. It made the guilt eat at my stomach.

"Hi," I answered, padding out of the room. Poor Jasper probably had a hangover.

"Hey, baby. Did I wake you?" Alec sounded so excited. It only made me feel worse.

"Kinda. What's up?" I yawned, searching through the kitchen cupboard for coffee, before I pulled a drawer open and took out painkillers. Jasper would need these.

"You'll never believe!"

"Tell me." I started preparing the coffee.

"How about you move your sweet ass down here and see for yourself? I'm parked in front of the house."

In front of the house? Panicked, I looked out the window and saw nothing, then realized he meant my house.

 _Fuck_.

Wait, he said parked. Alec didn't have a car. He'd been hitchhiking a ride with either me or Bella since I knew him.

"Parked?" I echoed him in a strained voice.

_Please, God. No. Don't be that cruel._

"Yes!" He squealed. "My parents got me a car! Just come out already."

He was so excited, and I was going to crash his hopes.

"I…uh…look, Alec…last night…"

"Your ass looks delicious in these boxers," Jasper whispered hotly in my ear, hugging me from behind.

For the first time in my life, I wanted to punch Jasper.

Blissfully unaware of my murderous thoughts, he nuzzled my ear, sucking at the lobe.

"Is that mommy? Did she lose you?" he cooed.

I was frozen. I should have covered the mouth piece at least, but I couldn't move.

"Oh, please!" Alec groaned in my ear. "Don't tell me that's Jasper! No. Don't say anything."

He never got angry, but I'd managed the impossible—to anger the most laid back person I had the pleasure of meeting.

"Alec," I protested.

"I heard enough." The dial tone beeped in my ear, making my blood boil.

I whirled around to face a bewildered Jasper. "Thanks a lot, asshole! My boyfriend just broke up with me."

He looked adorable all rumpled up, slightly remorseful and a lot confused. "I'm sorry." I could tell he meant every word.

"Me too. You're not an asshole," I mumbled, looking down.

"I know I am one." He went to pour the coffee. I watched as he added two teaspoons of sugar in mine, the way I loved it. When he spotted the painkillers, his blue eyes found mine, and a small smile tugged at the corner of his lips.

I slumped in a chair. There was a feeling of emptiness in my stomach and it hurt to breathe.

"I hurt an innocent person. I should have never led Alec on." I stared at my linked hands on the table top.

Jasper placed the coffee mugs on the table and sat opposite me. "Edward, you can still patch things up."

 _No, I can't, but you don't understand._ "What about us?" I eyed him. If he said it was a mistake, I'd hang myself.

"Us?"

"Jasper, admit it. You want this. You want me. We can try again. I promise to keep an open mind. You can go out with others, but I want to know when it happens. Also, I want to be able to do it too, without you having a jealous fit."

He gaped at me, holding the mug suspended halfway to his mouth.

"It's not too much to ask, right? Unless you want us to be exclusive?" _Please say yes_. I begged him with my eyes.

"Too much, too fast, too soon."

I stared as he processed my words. I could tell there was a battle inside him.

"So?" I prompted him after five minutes passed in silence. My foot bumped into his ankle, making the dazed look evaporate as he focused on me.

After a gulp of coffee, he fixated me with his eyes. "Against my better judgment, I want this—us. I missed you more than I care to admit."

"You did?" Riley was right.

"A lot, my boy." Jasper grasped my hand across the table. "I want to do it right, this time round. As you said, I might step wrong. Don't hold it against me."

"As long as I'm allowed to fuck around, too." Not like I'd do it, but maybe that way he'd see how it hurt to see me with someone else and realize how I felt when he went to another.

"Don't you have school today?"

Whoa. Change of subject.

"It's a Friday, and unless it changed overnight to an extended weekend day, then yes, I have school."

"Sucks. I don't have to go to work—my free day." He winked, slouching in his seat. He kept his eyes on me as if communicating silently, urging me to stay with him.

"No."

"Sorry?"

"The answer is no. I'm not ditching."

"That's scary, you little freak."

"You had that look on your face. I could tell you wanted to ask me to spend the day with you."

Jasper sighed loudly. "I'll drive you to school. Go, wash, borrow my toothbrush, steal my clothes—just like the good old days."

"If you're going to be like this, I won't even bother trying again." It was a lie, but I had no clue what happened in the past few minutes. He'd switched to cold-hearted Jasper.

"It's my day off. I want to stay in and laze around."

"Do you have anything cool to do around here?" I couldn't believe I was considering ditching, just to stay here with his sorry ass.

He raised an eyebrow, smirking. "I have something to do if you stay—you."

"Promise?" I blurted, turning red. "But I want to talk, too, not only fuck."

"You want to stay? A moment ago you were all for going to school."

"I can be easily persuaded when offered sex." I grinned. "How about we play a game? You give me an orgasm, and I get to ask you a question."

"What do _I_ get in return?"

"Me. Forever." I smiled sweetly, my heart thundering in my chest.

"Sounds like a good deal. Let me know when we start."

"Now." I stood up, stepped out of my boxers, and went to his side. "Show me your amazing blow job skills."

Jasper chuckled, pushing the mugs away and helping me on top of the table.

We spent the whole day getting reacquainted with the other's body. Jasper stayed true to his promise and answered me a lot of questions. At some point, we even forgot about the game while he was lost in a story about a younger version of him and Peter. As I'd always suspected, his first time was with Peter. They'd never tried again, deciding their friendship was too precious to lose over anything that could break them up as a couple. It was pretty mature thinking for two fifteen year olds.

After the way his family treated him, he decided to never get attached to anyone.

"What about Riley?" I rolled on my side, draping myself on top of him.

"Riley—well, that's a funny story." He combed his fingers through my hair. "I was leaving Rainbow one night, when I bumped into him. He followed me to my car, telling me how much it would cost me to have the best ass on the planet. His words, not mine. I never fuck hustlers, because…they're dirty and pests, yeah."

"They don't have a home. They all have a story. You know that, right?"

"Now I do. There was a time after I met Rile when I picked them off the street and took them to the center. Riley and Pete helped me. Though, they left—the kids, I mean."

"It's sad." I nodded, agreeing wholeheartedly. "What about Riley? Did you take him home that night?"

"Against my better judgment, I bathed him and gave him clean clothes. I went to shower quickly, worried he might steal something then take off, but I found him fast asleep in the guest bedroom."

"So you two hit it off? Just like that?"

"Not quite. As you can tell, I'm not used to having someone around. He stayed here for half a year. In the meantime, he got a degree as a hairdresser, and also organized parties for kids at McDonald's."

"I didn't know about the last part." He'd told me about his job when we met, a few months ago, and only because he was horrified by what my barber had done when I had a haircut.

"He was a disaster. One reason he doesn't talk about it."

It was early evening when my phone started ringing, startling us. We were sharing a box of pizza on his bed.

I'd never talked to Jasper so much. He hadn't let out much, but we'd covered varied subjects, from our childhood to the best pizza crust we ever had, and the pros and cons of owning a big car. I'd been thinking of begging Dad to buy me one, which would be only mine. With Alec now having his own car, all my friends had one, except me.

Wiping my greasy hands on my boxers, causing him to throw a handful of napkins at me, I answered the phone.

"School called," Mom snapped before I could greet her.

"Hi, Mom."

"Don't 'Hi, Mom' me, Edward. Where are you? You never miss school. Besides, I saw that Alec kid in front of the house this morning."

"Yeah, uh, something came up." Jeez, stupid school. Why didn't I think they'd call home?

"Are you in trouble?" She sounded worried.

"No. Look, I'm fine. I'll be home later. Don't call the police or anything."

"Aren't you going to tell me where you are?"

Gah! From the uncaring mother, she'd turned into this suffocating mother I couldn't stand. Maybe meeting Alec's parents wasn't the best idea I ever had. The only good thing that came out of that was they accepted me for who I was and didn't ask stupid questions, like when did I decide to be gay.

"We'll talk at home. Bye." I hung up, hoping I wasn't actually in trouble.

Jasper caught my eye, leaning closer to peck my mouth. "I can take you home."

"I don't wanna go," I said petulantly, and I might have pouted. Leaving meant going back to reality and breaking the spell.

"I promise to see you again. Soon."

"How soon?" I had to cling to everything I had.

"If you don't have any plans—"

"I'm free," I blurted before he could finish talking.

Laughing, Jasper flicked my ear. "Learn to listen to the person you're talking to, then agree to them. As I was saying. You and me, tomorrow. I'll pick you up at seven."

"So early? Is Rainbow open at that hour?"

He chuckled, rubbing his thumb over my lips. "I'm taking you out for dinner. Then, if you want, we can go to Rainbow. You seem pretty fond of that club."

"Like a date?" I had to make sure. A date didn't sound like something the Jasper Whitlock I knew would do.

Sighing, he retreated to his side of the bed. "You and your labels. Yes, like a date, so we can give our relationship a shot and maybe try that boyfriend thing." He winked.

My cheeks hurt from smiling so big.

 _I love you_! I wanted to shout out, but I didn't want to scare him. "Thank you," I chose to say.

"Thank you?" he echoed, looking amused.

"I'd love that! You're the best!"

"That's more like you. Now, get dressed, before I change my mind and keep you prisoner here."

"Is that a high possibility?" I smirked, shuffling closer and straddling his hips, placing my hands on his neck.

"Don't tempt me, Pretty Boy."

My hand sneaked to the front of his underwear. He twitched in my palm, groaning. I stroked him slowly through the fabric.

"It's not nice to tease."

"I'm not." I shimmied down his body, pushing his boxers down and taking him in my mouth.

Going home could wait.

"Fuck, Pretty Boy. You've gotten better at this."

"Practice makes perfect." I gripped him in my hand, licking him like a lollipop. I tried not to think of the reason why I was better at blow jobs.

An hour later, he parked in front of my house. I was surprised when he joined me at the front of the car.

"I'm saving your pretty little ass. It might hurt, but you'll thank me."

 _What's with everyone calling my ass various things?_ Bella called it perky, Alec called it sweet, and Jasper called it pretty.

We held hands as we walked toward my house. The porch light wasn't on, so I fumbled with the keys, alerting my parents I was home. Dad opened the door, and I could tell by the look on his face Jasper wasn't who he expected.

"Good evening, sir. You may not remember me. I'm Jasp—"

"I know who you are," Dad snapped, cutting Jasper's speech off.

It didn't derail him from his track. Jasper started a mind-boggling story about me getting drunk the other night, and how he took me to his house to take care of me. I woke up at noon today, feeling like shit, and he graciously allowed me to nurse my hangover at his place since it was his off day. In the meantime, we'd discussed our past and decided to give our relationship another try.

Then he did the most unexpected thing—he asked my father if we had his blessing to start dating.

Too dazed to think straight probably, Dad agreed.

"I'll go now. Be good, Pretty Boy." Jasper kissed my cheek, looking pleased as he turned to leave.

"What was that?" Dad demanded.

"Damn if I know," I mumbled, staring at the closed door.

"I heard everything!" Mom screeched, barreling down the stairs. "You got drunk! You're still a minor! Do you realize that?"

"So I can fuck Jasper, but I can't drink?"

"Language." Dad raised a hand at me, making me flinch.

Was he seriously going to hit me?

"You're grounded," Mom said. "Until the end of junior year."

"What? No, you can't do that!" I stared at her in horror. "You'd never done it before."

"You never gave me a reason. Now, your schedule will be home—school—home. That's all. Of course, when you have your music lessons, you go there, then straight home."

"Mom, you can't!" Panic bubbled in my chest. I was working things out with Jasper, and being grounded wouldn't help.

"I'm sorry I didn't keep an eye on you all these years. It was wrong of me. Look what happened. You're sleeping with older men and started drinking. Are you smoking, too?"

"It was Alec's birthday," I said lamely. Saying Alec's name felt like a knife being twisted in my gut.

"Go to your room. Now. Listen to your mother."

I stared at Dad, hoping to at least have him on my side, but no. Of course not.

They sided against me, and whatever I said in my defense went unheard.

I stomped to my room, slamming the door after me. I immediately grabbed my phone and called the genius who got me in trouble.

"You said it might hurt. Well, it's worse!" I hissed.

"They're upset?" He sounded amused.

"You ruined everything! We're not going on that stupid date tomorrow, or next week, or for the next two months!"

"I don't get it. You said you wanted to."

"I'm fucking grounded, you idiot!"

"Oh, shit."

"Yeah. I need to hang up before I say something I'll regret."

"I really am sorry, Pretty Boy."

"Yeah, me too. Bye, Jasper."


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Proceed with caution and have tissues around.

_Is this the real life?_   
_Is this just fantasy?_   
_Caught in a landslide,_   
_No escape from reality._

**Queen – Bohemian Rhapsody**

I avoided Jasper religiously, because I was a thick-headed teenager.

When I thought everything was going to be alright, he ruined everything by telling my parents that stupid lie about me getting drunk.

Somehow, Alec was still friends with me, being too kind. I didn't deserve his friendship after the way I treated him. He even encouraged me to call Jasper, which made me wonder if he truly loved me as he'd claimed.

On the other hand, Bella was the one upset with me for hurting Alec and acting like a douchebag. Eventually, she forgave me when she realized Alec was cool with the current situation.

At the end of May, I found an opportunity to make money, something I'd wanted for months.

The fair was in town for a whole week. I talked to the manager, and he called me on Monday, right after school ended. He said I could start right away.

"Do you even know what you're doing?" Bella asked, agitated. "Alec, talk some sense into him." She turned to our friend as we walked out of school.

"I'll be fine. He said I'd have my own booth." I rolled my eyes, draping an arm around each of their shoulders. "Don't worry."

"If you're at the balloon shooting thing, let me know." Alec winked.

"Will do. I gotta go now, see you guys later." I planted a kiss on their cheeks, before heading to the fair.

On the way, I called Mom to let her know I got the job, and I'd be home late. She was excited, gushing about how proud she was. It didn't cease to surprise me how much she'd changed.

Besides talking to Alec's mom, she'd improved her parenting skill since Jasper dropped me home that night. It seemed she realized she had a son and started acting like a mother should, or close enough. She'd turned into the nosy kinda mom, and it drove me nuts.

At the fair, I met the manager, a small and almost bald man who reminded me of Danny DeVito. We walked around the aisles for a while, chatting, until he stopped in front of a small, wooden booth with big red lips taped everywhere.

 _Please, God. No!_ I really should have asked.

"This is you. One dollar, one kiss."

"Uh, sir…" I felt sick.

He held up his hand. "This is what you get."

"What kind of kiss?"

He raised an eyebrow. "No tongue, so it will be an innocent kiss, a peck."

"Whew!" I sighed in relief.

The manager laughed. "We're not promoting porn. You want that, go to Liberty Ave."

I froze. _Couldn't he have said the park or a dark alley? What the fuck is wrong with people picking on us?_

I had to check if he truly meant it as an insult, or was merely teasing. "As in…"

He eyed me suspiciously, before scrunching his nose. "Figures. You're queer."

"Yeah, so? Does that disqualify me for the job?" _I dare ya!_ I bet Dad could pull some strings and arrest his ass.

I'd reached my limit of homophobic assholes in my life. It was enough I had to endure McCarty and his gang every day at school.

"As long as you are okay with kissing girls, the job is yours."

"What if men ask?"

He shrugged. "Whatever it takes. But no tongue, for Pete's sake!" He turned to walk away, then stopped and glanced back. "If someone wants a real kiss, that costs more and there's no change."

What a fraud. I gaped as he stalked away, muttering.

In my booth, I took my time to look at the others sitting in their own booths, preparing for their more entertaining activities.

I decided to get accustomed with my own space and snooped around. There was a cardboard box at my feet where the money would go, a box of tissues—probably for wiping my mouth after I vomit, and of course, a chair.

I didn't text Bella or Alec. They shouldn't know what I was doing. I'd lie to them and hope they didn't visit the fair. Slim chance, but a guy could dream.

For three days, actually evenings, I managed to keep my job a well-hidden secret.

My friends found out on Wednesday. Bella's face appeared at my booth looking uncertain, but when she saw me, we both froze. While I dunked under the counter, cursing my luck, I could hear her laughing along with Alec. The odds weren't in my favor.

Once my self-confidence returned, I revealed myself. "Which one of you do I have to kiss?"

"I don't have a single, only a five." Bella bit her lip.

"Thank God," I mumbled, grabbing a fistful of Alec's sweater and pulling him closer. I planted a loud smack on his lips, keeping the kiss as short as possible. I didn't want to make things more difficult than they already were.

He swayed on his feet. "I thought I had to pay first. I don't have a dollar, either."

I scowled. "I'll take more."

"More kisses or more money?"

"Both?" I teased. When he made to search in his wallet, I waved him away. "Don't be ridiculous. Go play some shit and bring me the dollar."

"Who says I don't want more kisses? Even though I might be broke by the end of the night."

Bella shook her head. "So, any cute guys visited you? Or have you kissed girls?" She made kissing sounds at me.

"Girls, mostly." I shrugged.

"Told you. Chicks dig nerds."

"But I had a couple of cute guys, too," I added, winking at Alec. He turned red, looking mortified.

 _Will I ever learn?_ I never knew when to stop.

Before I could apologize, he shoved a ten at me and grabbed my face.

"I'm outta here!" I heard Bella say, but I wasn't paying attention to her.

I had no idea what Alec and I were doing, but I liked it. I couldn't deny the attraction. Even though Jasper was _the one,_ Alec kept me balanced. Maybe we could really do this relationship thing—Jasper and I. We both needed space; he got his at Rainbow, and I got mine with Alec.

The other day, while at Alec's house, supposedly studying, we got kissing and horizontal. Luckily, his mom called us for dinner, or we might have overstepped the invisible line. Kissing was okay, but sex was definitely a step too far. Especially with Alec, who was my ex for all intent and purpose.

On Saturday, I had to be at the fair the whole day. By seven in the evening, I was sick to my stomach. In the trash at my feet were dozens of tissues with various colors of lipstick on them. I'd been popping mints like crazy, in hopes of getting rid of the fruity smells.

I made a mental note to ask Bella why girls applied lipstick before kissing. Why? I didn't need to feel all sticky and emasculated.

A diversion at the cotton candy booth got my attention, so when someone stopped in front of me, I startled. Looking up, I saw a $100 bill held in front of a man's face, obscuring him.

"There's no change," I warned him. If I got such a huge tip from this guy, it made up for all I had to endure in the past nine hours.

"Don't worry, Pretty Boy. One hundred kisses to make up on the time spent apart, then we'll see where that leads."

 _Jasper. Figures_. I lowered the bill, seeing his face, his eyes. God, his eyes. I could drown in them.

Why the fuck did I stay away? Aside from being grounded. Right, it was his fault I was grounded in the first place.

"According to my boss, if you want that kind of service, you should go to Liberty Avenue." I pinched his cheek, squeezing the bill in my other hand.

Jasper rested his elbows on the counter and propped his head in his palms. "I came from there. Boooring. Now, stop stalling, and give me some kisses. Make it worth my while."

"You're a jerk. Besides, I'm not allowed to French you."

"Sucks," he said in a drawling voice.

"I'm afraid that's against the regulations as well."

"Shut up and kiss me, Edward."

I leaned closer, bumping his nose on purpose before kissing him. Fuck, I missed his lips. His stubble scratched me, but I didn't care. Between kisses, he apologized for getting me in trouble at home, and made me promise to never shut him out.

Sadly, we had to stop our making up session. There was a line behind him. Some were gaping at our display, others looked furious. To each their own.

"I'll be around. Call when you're bored." He tapped my nose before leaving, not without throwing a smile at the first girl in line.

I came to realize this was his way—he was a flirt, and he was damn good at it.

Unfortunately, I knew the girl from school and she was one of McCarty's gang. "That was so gross," she mumbled.

 _Then why the fuck are you still here?_ "Yeah, well, I didn't have any clients so I thought I'd meet my boyfriend."

She looked frightened and fled without being kissed.

By closing time, I'd earned a lot more than the other nights, but I had to endure a whole day of kissing stinky girls. My lips were sore.

Outside the gates, I could see Jasper leaning against the hood of his car, smoking and staring at his phone. A figure appeared from the darkness scaring the crap out of me. It turned out to be a distraught Alec.

"Hey, sweetie." I took his hand, bringing him closer. I'd never seen him so shaken. It had to be bad. "What's up?" I asked, glancing toward Jasper. He was watching us, his face unreadable.

 _Oh, please. Don't make a big deal out of this_ , I pleaded silently, turning my attention to Alec.

"You know…my parents are visiting Auntie in Paris?" Alec whimpered. He wrapped his arms around my waist and placed his head on my shoulder.

"You scared of being alone? You can crash at my place. I already told you." I ran a hand over his tense back.

He trembled in my arms. "They should have called hours ago to say they landed. Even Auntie called to ask if I knew anything about them. Their cells are off."

"Alec." I pushed him at arm's length. "Sweets, they're okay. Don't worry."

"No. No. No." He shook his head, bursting in tears.

I was at a loss, having no clue what to do with him. He was usually stronger, but his parents not answering their phones scared him.

Jasper approached us, hands in his pockets and cigarette lolling from the corner of his mouth. His eyes fixated on mine. "Something wrong, Pretty Boy?"

"Oh, no!" Alec pulled away, stumbling over his feet. I steadied him before he could fall. He hastily wiped his tears. "I better go. You're busy, of course."

"Whoa! Where are you going like this?" I locked my hand around his elbow.

"Home?"

"No. You're coming with me. Can you drop us at my house?" I side-eyed Jasper.

He nodded seriously.

We squeezed in the BMW, where Alec had a panic attack that we were going to get caught by the police. He had to sit on my lap since there was no backseat. Thankfully, the ride was short.

As we pulled in front of my house, he had a meltdown about his parents being gone, when Jasper asked what exactly caused him distress. I managed to calm him before getting out of the car. Alec stood next to me with a far-away look.

"I'll call. I'm sorry," I told Jasper over the open window of his car.

"Friends come first, because they're your second family. Take care of him, Pretty Boy." He leaned closer and pecked my mouth.

On the way to the front door, Alec regained his senses. "You made up?" he whispered.

"I don't know. He came to my booth earlier." I unlocked the door, flipped the hallway light on, then toed my shoes off. "I guess we're alone. Let's play cops and try finding out what happened to the plane."

"Huh?" He sniffed, struggling to unzip his jacket. I pushed his hands aside gently before pulling down the zipper and taking off his jacket off him, then led him to the couch.

"We can try finding out if the plane took off, if it landed, or…if it was delayed. The Internet provides all kind of great information, without actually hacking. Not like I wouldn't try my hacking skills if it helped you."

"No."

_No, what?_

I left him curled up on the couch while I retrieved my laptop. He was in the same position when I returned and sat next to him.

Alec moved, snuggled into my side and burrowed his nose in the crook on my neck, washing my shirt in tears.

"It's going to be okay," I said soothingly.

"Can we watch TV? I was afraid to watch the news alone."

"Sure, sweets." I kissed the top of his head and clicked the remote, settling on CNN.

Playing cop had to wait; maybe the news would help.

"I'm scared, Edward."

"Alec, look, I doubt anything awful happened—"

I stopped abruptly when the anchor on TV started talking about the breaking news, about a plane crashing. Alec hugged me tighter when in the corner of the screen appeared a satellite image of a plane fallen in the ocean.

_Holy fuck. What are the chances?_

When the anchor lady said the flight number, Alec started sobbing so hard my heart broke for him.

I knew how much he loved his parents, and that itself made me wonder how I'd have reacted to such news.

I focused on the TV, wishing the lady would say something about survivors, but she went on and on about unofficial causes of the crash—like engine failure, or a fire, or a bird flying into the engine. She explained what we were seeing on the small image in the corner of the screen. The plane had crashed at great speed, and there were parts scattered around a large area of the ocean. It didn't make either of us feel any better when she commented with her co-anchor about the spot where the plane had landed. It appeared to be near the area where Titanic had sunk.

I stroked Alec's back, silently wondering why I didn't tell Jasper to join us. He'd have known what to do. I felt helpless with my friend crying his heart out in my arms.

I realized Mom might know what to do, so I grabbed my phone and dialed her number.

"Sweetheart, I'm extremely busy." _Typical answer._

"Mom, I need you." I'd never said those words to her, not that I could remember, not even when I was younger.

"Are you hurt? Did something happen at the fair?"

"It's Alec. I don't know what to do. _Please_."

Her breath hitched. _Yup, I said please. It is_ that _important._

She exchanged a few hushed words with someone on her side, before saying, "I'll be home soon."

"Thanks."

We hung up, and I was faced once again with my distraught friend. We stayed on the news channel, listening to whatever they found out regarding the crash. Their hypothesis were like science fiction movies. Thankfully, one of the guests brought them back to Earth, reminding them no one would know what actually happened until the black box was found. That could take hours, if not days.

When Mom arrived, she rushed into the living room. "What happened, Edward?"

"Shhh!" I hissed, looking worried at Alec, who'd managed to fall asleep a little while ago.

She eyed the mess of tissues on the coffee table and his tear-stained face, before looking at me confused. She sat in the armchair, glancing at the TV.

"Oh, that's horrible."

I cleared my throat, hugging Alec closer instinctively. "His parents were on that plane," I whispered.

Mom's eyes widened. "Are they…?"

"No idea. The search team arrived a while ago, but after so many hours in the cold ocean…I doubt… Mom, I've never seen him so sad."

"Sweetheart, his parents might be dead. Of course, he's sad." She stared at him with pity.

Alec's phone vibrated on the coffee table. When he didn't stir, I answered it, seeing his aunt's face on the display.

"Hi, Jane."

"Uh, hello?" I could tell she was as distraught as him, and confused of who she was talking with.

"It's Edward. Alec's sleeping."

"Oh, hi, Edward. I didn't recognize you. Are you watching the news?"

"Yeah, I have the TV on CNN. Do you know anything…?"

"No." She sniffed loudly. "Sorry. I'm just… It feels like a bad dream."

I hummed in response, because what the fuck should I tell her?

"How's Alec?" she asked, softly.

"Cried himself to sleep. I have no idea what to do, but my mom's here."

"Can I talk to your mom? Sophie's trying to find tickets so we can come back to the States."

"Sure." I handed Mom the phone, explaining in a few words who Jane was.

It turned out she wanted us to keep Alec over until they arrived. Like I'd leave him out of my sight in his condition.

When Dad returned from his meeting, later that night, Mom and I let him on the news, before I took Alec to my room. I was glad Mom didn't suggest he stay in the guest room.

Sleepy and with tears shining in his vacant eyes, he sat obediently on my bed as I searched for a nice pair of pajamas and clean underwear. Once he was dressed for the night, I left him on the bed while I went to the bathroom.

After changing into my pajamas, I called Jasper. The phone rang for a long time before he answered. My heart was in my throat the longer the phone rang. I couldn't help but wonder if he was _busy_. But then I heard his gruff voice and realized I'd wakened him.

"Hello?"

"Ooops. Sorry."

"It's okay." He yawned loudly. "How's your friend?"

"It's awful," I mumbled. "Did you watch the news?"

"No. Actually, I went back to Rainbow after I dropped you off. It was a bad decision."

"Why?" I was confused. I thought he liked it there. Could that have changed?

"I wish I was deaf."

"Uh…that's random and totally horrible."

"No. You'd wish so too if you were here. Riley was at the bar with the doctor. They were both smashed, and I brought them over."

"And you said you don't have a heart," I teased.

He chuckled. "I don't have a brain, either. Anyway, what was on the news? Did something actually happen to your friend's parents?"

"I think so. The plane crashed in the Atlantic."

"Holy shit! Is he still there?" There was a change in his voice.

"Are you in doctor mode?"

"If he lost his parents, it's very serious, Edward. Such matters affect anyone, especially a teenager. This is a tricky age."

"Thanks?" I half-joked. "As for Alec, he's been crying pretty much since you dropped us home."

"Why didn't you call sooner?" He groaned. "Damn, Pretty Boy. You need to be careful and stay with him the whole time. No matter what."

"Okay. Anything else?"

"When he knows for sure, let me know. The shock might trigger a very serious change in behavior. I want to help. I know I can do it. I once had a patient like your friend, but I failed—he failed. Now, I don't want to scare you, but the guy I'm telling you about was suicidal."

My stomach rolled. "I doubt Alec would do that."

"Edward, this kind of shock can change his life completely. He'll need you more than ever. You need to be by his side and help him."

"Well, of course. He's my best friend. Right now, he's in my room. I'm in my bathroom so we can talk without disturbing him in case he fell asleep."

"Go to him. Call me if you need help."

"Thanks, Jasper. I'm really sorry to bother you with this, but Alec…you know, he's…"

"I know. Besides, it's my job to help kids like him. As for us, we'll talk when we see each other next."

"Alright. I'll let you sleep."

"Ditto."

Unlike the other time, he didn't hang up on me.

"I can hear you breathing," I joked.

"You hang up first."

"Are we in first grade?"

"I'm not, though I'm not sure about you."

"Ha ha! Night, Jasper."

"Good night."

Back in my room, I found Alec still awake, sitting up and hugging his knees, rocking and staring ahead at the wall. I sat and wrapped my arms around him, pressing my cheek against his back.

"Let's sleep, Alec."

"They're dead." His voice was so dull and lifeless, it scared me. It was also the first time he'd talked in hours.

"We don't know that." I kissed the back of his neck.

"I know." He patted his chest, the spot above his heart.

We fell asleep crying, hugging each other. I longed for the search parties to find survivors, and amongst them, Alec's parents. All we had was hope.


	13. Chapter 13

_The news that truly shocks is the empty empty page_   
_While the final rattle rocks its empty empty cage_   
_And I can't handle this_

_I grieve for you_   
_You leave me_   
_Let it out and move on_   
_Missing what's gone_   
_They say life carries on_   
_They say life carries on and on and on_

**Peter Gabriel – I Grieve**

Next morning, I confronted an extremely difficult problem for the first time in my life.

Over breakfast, Dad told me a job kept me fed and with a roof above my head, and it usually came before family and friends. It was his not so subtle way of sending me to the fair, while Alec was…well, not himself. What Dad wanted me to do was what he did, but I wasn't like him. My friend meant more than that shitty job of kissing people.

I was moments away from calling my boss and letting him know I wouldn't make it, when Alec put his hand on my shoulder. I'd left him sleeping, though it seemed my discussion with Dad woke him up. He looked rested, but his eyes held a lot of grief.

"Don't worry about me, Edward. I'll go home."

Jasper's words from last night rang loudly in my head. "No. You're coming with me. We can talk in my booth."

"That's a good idea. In case there is any news, we'll call," Dad said, showing he did care for my friend.

"I guess, if it's okay with you." Alec eyed me, unsure.

"I invited you."

I managed to keep him distracted for most of the day. I pretended to be coughing whenever anyone approached my booth, and people avoided my little space, allowing me to talk to Alec about anything and everything.

It was going pretty well until six in the evening when he got a phone call from an unknown number. After staring at the screen for a while, he answered. I wished he hadn't.

It was the FBI, who were investigating the plane crash. They had found personal artefacts of his parents', and decided to call and find out what he knew. Obviously, Alec lost himself, stuttering that he had no idea what was going on, and gave me the phone, unable to talk more. I took over, trying hard not to lash out at the special agent on the other end of the line. He told me they'd found ten bodies and would keep us updated when they identified them.

I didn't tell Alec much, because he was already trembling. All I let him know was they'd found some bodies and they were still searching. It affected him greatly. He started gasping, his whole body shaking, his face red, and I had to run over to the popcorn booth and grab a paper bag.

At six thirty, I decided to leave. I could care less for what the manager said. For all I cared, he didn't have to pay me for the day; though he did. He gave me fifty percent, not like it mattered. My friend was more important, despite anything my father said. I'd always choose my friends over school or a job.

Having driven Mom's car to the fair, we hopped in it and I drove to Jasper's. I needed his help.

In front of his house, my heart sank—all the lights were out, but his car was in the driveway. If he had someone over…I hoped he didn't. He'd promised to be better.

"Why are we here?" Alec demanded in a shaky voice. "Take me home. I want to be alone."

"I'm not leaving you alone!"

"I don't want to be in this place," he grumbled.

The front door opened to reveal Jasper dressed for going out, most likely to Rainbow.

I got out of the car, and rushed to him.

"Edward! What a pleasant surprise." He put a hand on my shoulder, kissing my cheek.

"It's not a social visit." I pointed to my car.

Jasper eyed Mom's Volvo with a critical eye. _I know, I don't like it either_ , I tried to tell him through my eyes.

"Is that Alec?"

"Yes. The FBI called earlier to inform him they found some bodies and would keep him updated."

"Fucking assholes! Bring him inside. I'd like to talk to him."

"Thanks! You're the best!" I threw my arms around his neck, hugging him tightly.

"Just doing my job, Pretty Boy.

As I coaxed Alec out of the car, Jasper went back inside his house, flipping lights on.

I knew why he didn't want to go into Jasper's house—it brought back bittersweet memories, but I only wanted to know he was safe and mentally prepared for whatever news.

In the living room were soda and crackers on the coffee table, and Jasper was pacing the length of the room, talking to someone on the phone, telling them he wouldn't make it.

"Sorry, I didn't realize you were busy."

"Nah. It was only night out with the guys. By that I mean Pete, since Riley seems to be glued to the doc these days. God, last night was…the worst idea I ever had."

"Maybe he's outgrown the club scene since he's dating the doctor?"

"Uh, remember what I told you last night? They didn't outgrow immature teenagers who are drinking alcohol behind their parents' back. Present people excluded, of course." He winked at me.

Alec stiffened at the mention of parents, which made Jasper drop the playful mood. "Come on, kid. We need to talk." He placed a hand on Alec's back, leading him out the room. When I made to follow, Jasper shook his head. "Not to be rude or anything, but I'd like to talk to him in private."

"I don't need a shrink. I don't even have the money to afford you," Alec spat.

I guessed he couldn't even tolerate Jasper, which made me wonder whether he was still so friendly with me in hopes I'd dump my boyfriend and go back to him. It was insane. Jasper didn't seem to have a problem with Alec.

"Consider it my pro bono case. Come, Alec."

"I don't want to be a social case!" He stomped his foot. Big tears rolled down his cheek, and I was by his side in a flash.

"Sweets, Jasper just wants to help you. You're going to talk about…well, I don't know...he's the shrink. Let him help you. Please, Alec."

His shoulders slumped in defeat. "Fine. Lead the way," he muttered to Jasper.

I got a curious look from my boyfriend, but he didn't comment, he simply pointed to the TV. "Wait here, Pretty Boy."

After half an hour of sitting around and stuffing my face with crackers, I decided to check on them. Alec wasn't in a place where he felt comfortable.

The door of Jasper's study was ajar, and I could hear murmuring and definitely sniffing.

An irrational surge of anger toward Jasper consumed me. He'd upset Alec. He'd made him cry.

I didn't want anyone to cause my friend pain. In that moment, as I peeked through the crack in the door, I realized my true feelings for Alec.

_Could I love two people at the same time?_

Of course, nothing could compare to how I felt about Jasper. He was _my everything -_ the air, the moon and the sun - but Alec was important to me, as well. He'd weaseled his way into my heart and it seemed impossible not to love him.

"You can tell me anything." Jasper's calm voice grabbed my attention.

"Don't act as if you know me! You don't understand how I feel!" Alec snapped.

"Oh, but I do."

I edged closer, and finally had a clear view inside the study. Jasper was sitting on top of his desk, his legs crossed at the knee. Alec wasn't visible, probably sitting in the chair behind the door. I wished I could see him.

"Are your parents dead, too? Did you love them as much as me? How close were you?" Alec fired question after question, his voice quivering.

"I'm the one asking the questions, here, but to answer you—yes. My mom is gone. We weren't exactly close, but I regret not forgiving her for being so narrow-minded. You see, I grew up in Texas. Not exactly a gay friendly environment."

"That's why you moved to Pittsburgh?"

Jasper ignored his question. It was too much information given to a practical stranger, as it was. "I understand you have living relatives. Where are they?"

"Aunt Jane, yes. She's in Paris—where my parents were going." Alec choked on his words, and my heart shattered.

If Jasper didn't show him some respect and continued to push him, twisting the knife, I would have to put my foot down. No one had the right to hurt Alec, not even my boyfriend.

"Is she coming back?" Jasper continued his questionnaire in the same even tone.

"That's the plan. I hope they found a flight."

"They?"

"Auntie and her girlfriend."

Jasper cocked his head to the side, a few locks of golden hair falling in his eyes. My fingers itched to move them away from his beautiful blue eyes.

"Good. You have moral support." He nodded, looking deep in thought.

"I've always had moral support! My family doesn't care I'm gay."

"You don't know how this may affect you. Teenagers who lose their parents so violently are always volatile."

"Stop saying that! They're not dead." Alec shouted so loudly, it made me jump. It also surprised me, considering he'd kept saying they were dead himself.

_Is this the denial stage?_

"How are you so sure? Not so long ago you said they're dead." Jasper took the words right out of my mouth.

"I have something you lack— _faith_."

"If that helps you sleep better at night…" Jasper shrugged as if he didn't care about my friend.

I couldn't take it anymore. _What kind of doctor insults his patient?_

"You're such an asshole!" I barged into his office.

Jasper whipped his head in my direction, his wide eyes staring at me blankly, before he shook his head. "This is a private conversation."

"Really? Conversation? You're bringing him down more than he already is! You're hurting Alec!" I pointed to my friend, curled up in the chair, eyeing me curiously.

"To heal emotionally, he needs to be so low—"

"I'm not suicidal yet, but after a few more sessions with you…we never know," Alec grumbled.

Jasper groaned loudly, running a hand through his hair. "I didn't mean that. If you turn suicidal, I failed at my job." He turned to me. "Edward, you need to leave."

"No, _I_ 'm leaving. I have nothing to tell you, I don't need a doctor!" Alec spat, standing and coming to me. "Can we go home? To my house?"

"Sure, sweets." I wrapped an arm around his waist, steering him to the door. "I'll take you home. Don't worry."

Only downstairs at the front door, Jasper caught up with us. "Pretty Boy, wait!" He grabbed my elbow. "I want a word with you."

"I'll be quick," I promised Alec, following Jasper into the kitchen. "What?" I folded my arms over my chest.

"Please, be careful. He's very vulnerable."

"I can see that, and you weren't helping!"

"I know what I'm doing better than you. If you need help, you can call me."

"Yeah, sure." _Not in this lifetime. You've already hurt him enough._

When I turned to leave, too angry at him to even look him in the eye, Jasper caught my wrist in a vice grip. I finally met his worried eyes.

"Do you still…feel the same?" he whispered.

"This is not the time to discuss my feelings, Jasper."

He swallowed thickly, squeezing my wrist. "I can see the way you look at him, and your actions speak loud and clear. I'll understand if…if you choose him."

"What the hell?" I frowned. I stepped closer and took his face in my hands. "I still love _you_. It's you who obviously doesn't feel the same since you're sending me to another."

His mouth opened then closed several times, nothing coming out.

I left without looking back. We definitely had a lot to discuss, and we would whenever we found the time, but in that moment, Alec was my top priority.

During the ride to his house, I mulled over my feelings for Jasper and Alec. I came to the conclusion I loved both of them, but was in love with only one. Apparently, that one was too thick-headed to grasp the way I felt for him. I probably needed to catapult myself to get over his walls and make my way into his heart. Jasper was capable of love, I knew as much, I'd seen it, but he'd been hurt by people he once loved and that made him guard his heart. If only he'd understand I'd never hurt him. I loved him too much to harm a hair on his head.

"It's so empty." Alec shuddered as we stepped inside his house.

"Do you really think…" I wasn't sure if I wanted to open that door, to let all his dark thoughts out.

"There is no news, Edward. I can only assume the worst. And next time you talk to your boyfriend, can you tell him thanks, but no thanks? I appreciate the gesture, but I can handle this situation."

"You can?"

"Auntie is coming over. We'll manage."

I could see the brave face he was trying to show, failing miserably when his eyes filled with tears.

"Alec…" I wrapped my arms around him, swaying on spot.

"I want to stay here until Auntie arrives."

I pulled away to look at him and make sure he'd be alright alone.

"I won't kill myself."

"Did I say that?" I snorted. "Though, I'd like you to stay with us until she arrives. Please."

His red-rimmed eyes bored into mine for a long while, until he finally sighed. "Okay. Let me pack a few clothes."

"Thank you." I kissed him soundly, pushing him to the stairs playfully. He gave me a small smile over his shoulder.

While I waited for him, deciding to give him space, I pulled my phone out to find a dozen texts and many missed calls from Bella.

It was late at night, what with everything that happened, but I knew she'd be awake, waiting for my reply.

"Are you okay?" Bella answered promptly.

"Yeah, I'm okay. Alec, not so much."

"I saw the news. Then I tried Alec's phone, then you…no one answered. I got worried."

"Yeah, well…he's not doing well. I'm taking him to my house until his aunt arrives. We're at his house packing a few things now."

"Oh, Edward. It must be awful! Can you tell Alec I'm here for him too?"

"Of course, honey."

"Good. Thanks. I'll see you two at school then."

"Ah, don't remind me." The mere thought of facing school the next day scared the hell out of me. I had no idea how Alec would react.

He returned downstairs when I hung up with Bella. There was a duffle bag over his shoulder and his school bag in his hand. "Done. You sure your parents are okay with this?"

"Definitely." _They aren't that cruel._

"They've changed," he acknowledged.

"All thanks to yours."

A long pause stretched between us as I realized the stupidity of those words. He took my hand, leading me out of the house to the car. We drove in silence.

Whatever had happened to his parents, I was forever grateful to them. I couldn't even imagine how he felt at the moment, but I'd always feel indebted to them. They'd talked to Mom and made her see I was a normal human being, made her understand that asking idiotic questions about my sexuality wouldn't change anything. I was still me, and I'd like to get by without being asked when did I decide to become gay. It wasn't exactly a choice. Dad was still working on coming to terms with me being gay, but I knew he accepted me.

Truthfully, I'd expected worse from them, but Alec's parents were there to stop whatever fracture could have happened in our family. It would have been worse than it already was if they hadn't been guided by someone with experience.

"Come, it's going to be alright," I said softly to Alec, getting out of the car.

As we walked inside my house, I knew whatever happened to my friend, I was ready to face it and be supportive. It was the least I could do.


	14. Chapter 14

_Wanna scream out,_   
_No more hiding,_   
_Don't be afraid of what's inside!_   
_Gonna tell ya, you'll be alright,_   
_In the Aftermath!_

_Anytime anybody pulls you down,_   
_Anytime anybody says you're not allowed,_   
_Just remember you are not alone,_   
_In the Aftermath!_   
_In the Aftermath!_

_Before you break you have to shed your armor!_   
_Take a trip and fall into the glitter!_   
_Tell a stranger that they're beautiful!_   
_So all you feel is love, love!_   
_All you feel is love, love!_

**Adam Lambert – Aftermath**

The end of school brought a depressing cloud above us—by us, I meant me and my friends.

During classes, Alec was distracted enough not to think about his parents, but with summer break around the corner, I feared what could happen.

By the time Jane arrived to the States, the news of no survivors had hit the media. Alec missed a whole week of school, in which I had gone over to his house at the end of every day and talked to him about what Jasper advised me. Since Alec refused to talk to my boyfriend, I was stuck in the middle. I learned a lot about psychology during my phone calls with Jasper, but he helped me with whatever new stage of grief my friend would go through.

I was the only one Alec talked to, which meant we were together most of the time. I spent more time at his place than at my own house. During the weekend, I squeezed some Jasper-time a few hours every Saturday night. We either went to Rainbow or stayed in his house, catching up after a long week of not seeing each other.

As much as I loved Alec, I needed Jasper. The latter seemed to know exactly what I desired every time we met. I even stopped caring our relationship had turned more physical than it ever was—all that mattered was being back in Jasper's arms. After everything I'd done to make him see me as more than a means to an end, it backfired on me. We rarely talked, and the small talk we had was during sex, or right after while we shared a cigarette.

The bell ringing loudly pulled me out of my thoughts. _Right, another school year ended._

Bella threw her arms around me, nearly toppling me over.

"Yay! We're seniors!"

I plastered a smile on my face, and kissed her cheek. "It's been an eventful year." And that was an understatement.

"Yup. Totally. You met Prince Charming."

I nodded, but my mind wasn't on Jasper for once. "I better find Alec." According to Jasper, my friend was somewhere in between anger and depression stage, which was a horrible combination.

"Edward, don't you think it's time to let him—"

I glared, making her shut up. "He only talks to me, and he needs me. Jasper taught me how to act around him."

"Honey, you won't be there for him for the rest of his life," she said patiently.

I led the way out of the classroom, toward the lockers. "Bella, Alec's my best friend. I love him. Of course, I'll be there for him. After the way I treated him, it's the least I can do. I never push him for information like his aunt, or even Jasper. I let him talk when he feels ready, and in between, we occupy the time with meaningless shit like watching movies and talking about music. You know, the usual stuff."

Bella placed her hand on my arm. "We both know that by staying with Alec, you'll lose whatever connection you had with Jasper. Don't ruin your relationship over this. Alec will understand."

At the lockers, I spotted Alec looking the same he'd been since he got the awful news. He was paler than usual, wearing dark jeans, dark shirt and hoodie, and his blue sneakers. His head was always down and he shrunk away from everyone, but if someone as much as touched him, he immediately burst in tears or ran to me. It was becoming difficult to contain my anger at these mindless people. Seriously, they should simply stray clear.

Before I could reach him, a pack of seniors left their class, chatting loudly about being done with school. I tried to make my way through them to get to Alec, but I wasn't quick enough.

McCarty's loud voice sent a chill down my spine. He was talking to Alec. When I broke free from the pack of seniors, I saw Emmett pinning Alec to the lockers, taunting him about being a faggy little orphan, saying his parents couldn't stand him and decided to leave him, and they were probably happier dead than being ashamed of their buttfucking and cocksucking abomination of a son.

My blood boiled in my veins.

Alec had shrunken into the lockers, trembling and weeping under the influx of hurtful words.

With force I had no idea I possessed, I grabbed Emmett's shoulder and turned him around, pulling my fist back and knocking him in the mouth. He looked shocked for a fraction of second, then charged. I swung again, and heard something crack; probably my wrist, since it hurt like a motherfucker. But I didn't care. I was on a mission to beat him to a pulp.

He slammed my back into the row of lockers behind me. I shouted in pain, but his fist in my face hurt more. I could taste blood in my mouth, and I wasn't sure if it was from my broken nose or my tongue. My glasses went flying somewhere.

There were screams around us, but we kept throwing punches blindly. I managed to get a few good strikes in his stomach and face, until Black snatched me back, keeping my arms locked behind me. It was so fucking unfair, and no one even tried to interfere. They only shouted at us to stop.

I kicked my feet in the air in hopes of keeping McCarty away, but that wasn't the case. He looked furious. I tried to coil my body away from the punch, but in vain. His fist connected hard with my stomach, and Black holding me prevented me from doubling over. I tried not to cry, but it hurt so badly.

Before he could kick me again, the principal's voice echoed in the now quiet hallway.

"Explain your behavior, right now!" he demanded, yanking McCarty away by the collar of his shirt.

I leaned against the lockers, bending over and holding my stomach. A hand rested on my back, and I knew it was Alec. Our eyes met for a moment, his wet with tears.

"He started it!" McCarty accused. "He totally jumped me. Ask Jake." He pointed to his friend.

"That's not true!" I hissed, still holding my stomach.

"Oh, please. Shut up. I'm allergic to fags."

 _He did not just say that in front of the principal!_ "He was harassing my friend. As you know, sir, Alec has recently lost his parents. He doesn't need McCarty's homophobic insults on top of that."

"Mr. Cullen, did you or did you not throw the first punch?"

"He did." I pointed to Emmett. He looked at me incredulously, and a few brave students sided with him.

"Mr. Cullen," the principal warned me.

"Not the literal punch. It was worse—words hurt more than physical pain. I had to defend my friend, because with all due respect, sir, if we queers don't stand up for ourselves, no one will. Not one of these idiots," I waved my hand around, "jumped to separate us. Especially when Black held me as McCarty's punching bag."

My breathing was heavy, but pride bubbled up in my chest. Even if I was thrown out of school for the fight, I didn't care. I'd stood up for what I believed in, for who I was.

"It's true, sir," Alec said quietly, linking our fingers.

I tried not to grimace in pain.

The principal held my gaze for a while, before he turned to McCarty and Black. "You two, in my office. As for you, Mr. Cullen, well done. Young man, you have a great friend here. Better go to the hospital to have your bruises checked." With that, he turned and marched down the hallway, with the two culprits trudging behind him. I hoped they'd ruined their chances to get into the desired college based on their stupid football scholarship.

As the corridor cleared, the others either eyed me impressed or slightly scared.

"Edward!" Bella appeared, looping one of my arms around her shoulders. I tried not to lean into her, but I needed support besides the lockers behind me. I didn't know if Alec could help. "What the hell were you thinking?"

"Shh." I pressed a finger to her lips. "Let me savor this moment—the principal took our side." A huge smile appeared on my face, and I didn't even care it hurt to smile.

"Don't you know?" Alec mumbled. "It's rumored he's gay."

"That's why he called your parents a few months back? I doubt it." Bella looked at him skeptically.

"If he is, then he's in the closet and too afraid to let anyone know."

"Maybe this little scene opened his eyes." She giggled, elbowing me in the ribs playfully.

I couldn't help a grunt of pain. Her face flashed with worry.

"I'm driving you to the hospital," Alec said.

"I'd help, but I promised my parents to be there after school. You know…they hired me at the store for the summer."

"Nepotism works in your favor," I joked. She winked.

"We'll call you later."

After grabbing our bags, Alec helped me to his car. I couldn't even see, no thanks to that asshole for breaking my glasses. I had what was left of them in my jacket pocket.

"Leaving with a bang has a whole new meaning," Alec mused as we reached his car.

"Yeah, well. Some like to make an awesome entrance, I like to make an awesome exit."

He doubled over in laughter, and I stared at him curiously. It was his first real laugh in weeks. Then I realized his dirty mind was thinking…well, dirty things.

I only rolled my eyes, not having enough energy to do much else. If I wasn't in pain, I'd probably comment, but as it was, I slunk in the car and sat quietly in my seat while he drove to the hospital.

In the ER, I discovered the advantages of being an important person's son. I was treated with so much care, it made me wonder how loved my father was amongst the citizens. The nurses' and doctors' behavior proved they were going to vote for Carlisle Cullen as mayor when the time came.

Lucky or not for me, my parents were out of town once again on business. When I told the nurse I had someone else to take care of me, she didn't insist on calling them. I found it odd, but was relieved.

After she left, Alec looked at me suspiciously. "Auntie will have an aneurism if she sees you. She might punch you too, then hug you."

I rolled my eyes. "No offence, buddy, but I wasn't speaking of your aunt. I meant Jasper."

I stretched on the hospital bed, wincing when various parts of my body protested. I'd been in this room on and off for the past three hours. The doctors had run many tests, but thankfully they didn't find any permanent damage. I had a broken wrist in a cast, a cracked rib—healing, and a mild concussion—which meant no sleeping for longer than a couple hours. I also got a new pair of glasses.

My parents were bound to find out sooner or later, since I'd paid whatever I had to pay with the credit card Dad had given me when I returned home after my few months of freedom with Jasper.

Alec helped me to a better sitting position. He didn't look happy about my decision. "You want to go to Jasper's?"

"Uh, yeah. I won't burden you with this, besides…I miss him." I bit my lip, watching the tears fill his eyes.

 _Fuck_. I didn't want to hurt him, but maybe Bella was right. Alec needed to understand I had my own life, which included Jasper. I had to find a balance between the two of them, so I wouldn't hurt anyone.

"Do you want me to call him?" he offered, rubbing his thumb over my cheek.

"Thanks. I'll shut my eyes for a few minutes."

The dull headache and the painkillers made me drowsy. When I arose from a deep sleep, which probably lasted under half an hour, I found Jasper in the chair by the bed. There was no Alec in the room.

"He left," Jasper said softly, getting up and coming to sit next to me on the bed.

"Oh." I felt awful for sending my friend away. "Thanks for coming." I could tell by his clothes a visit to the hospital wasn't in his plans. He looked dressed for Rainbow. Another person's day I managed to ruin.

He smiled, which made me melt. With his help, I got out of the bed, and before I could ask if he'd help me to the bathroom, I was engulfed in his warm embrace, his musky scent filling my nostrils.

"Pretty Boy, never scare me like that," he murmured in my hair.

I could hear and feel his heart beating wildly in his chest. He cared.

"I'm here."

"You were so brave. Alec told me what you did. Brave, but foolish."

"I had to do it." I pulled back a little to look him in the eye. "As I said at school, we gotta stand up for ourselves. No one is ever going to jump and help a fag."

There was raw fear in his blue eyes. "If something happened to you… Please, promise me to never fight again."

"I can't promise that, Jasper. I'll always stand up for what I believe in."

"Look what happened to you, Edward." He touched my cheek with a tentative finger.

"This just shows how much we are hated by society. They'd do this to every gay person on Earth."

He sighed heavily. "Your parents are going to freak."

"Not yet, but in a couple days maybe..."

"I called your mother. They're coming back tomorrow morning."

I gasped, narrowing my eyes at him. "Why would you do that?"

"Because I care about you, Edward. I want you to have a normal relationship with your parents. They've changed a lot, and you should be happy they accept you for who you are."

 _All I heard was…_ "You care," I breathed, staring at him dazed.

"I do. More than I should." His voice was filled with emotion, making my heart beat faster.

I kissed him soundly, stifling a sob. This was huge progress. He admitted his feelings to me.

"Let's take you home," he said gently, pulling away.

"Your house?" I almost begged.

"If that's what you want." Jasper smoothed the hair out of my eyes, pressing his lips to my bruised brow. "We can watch movies, talk, eat, do anything you want."

I felt like a baby. Mom used to say the exact same thing after I had blood drawn as a child or after a visit to the doctor when I was sick.

I decided to make light of his suggestion. "Fuck like bunnies?"

He pursed his lips tightly, trying not to smile. "Afraid that's impossible. The doc said no. I asked." He winked.

"You're so bad! Ow. I can't laugh." I grabbed my side.

"I was curious." Jasper shrugged, eyeing my hand placed over my cracked rib. He chose not to comment on it, thankfully.

"Fries and my favorite TV show it is," I declared, grinning.

"Not any of those silly, teenage high school relationships with supernatural beings, right?" He checked, looking horrified.

"Do I look like Bella to you?"

Chuckling, he shook his head. "Not at all. It's just that you kids dig that shit."

"Not me. I like my superheroes to be in mature relationships."

The allusion wasn't lost on either of us, but Jasper offered to help me prepare for discharge.

Knowing I was spending quality time with my boyfriend made me forget about my bruises. Everything was going to be okay as long as I had him by my side.

On the way to his house, I planned out my summer. I had almost three months to work on balancing my relationship with Jasper and my friendship with Alec, spending all my free time with Jasper, which I hoped he wouldn't mind, and I'd do my best to crack his walls. I knew I could reach his heart; he'd already opened up to me a lot since we met.


	15. Chapter 15

_I used to think maybe you loved me, now I know that it's true_   
_And I don't want to spend my whole life just a-waiting for you_   
_Now, I don't want you back for the weekend, not back for a day, no, no, no_   
_I said, baby, I just want you back, and I want you to stay_

_Oh, yeah, now I'm walking on sunshine, whoa_   
_I'm walking on sunshine, whoa_   
_I'm walking on sunshine, whoa_   
_And don't it feel good_

**Katarina and The Waves – Walking on Sunshine**

At Jasper's house, we put on a movie, but didn't get to watch much of it. The power went out twenty minutes later.

Jasper tracked down some candles, and we moved the quarters to his room.

"I feel like when I was younger. Pete and I used to make forts all the time…and made out like teenagers." I could tell he was smiling by the tone of his voice.

"Well, we have popcorn." I placed the bowl on the bed, throwing myself on the bed in front of Jasper.

He flipped the flashlight on, pointing it at his face. "And you have creepy stories to tell me."

"I do?" I frowned, placing a hand over the light.

He switched it off, but I could see the serious look on his face from the glow of the candles on the nightstands.

"Tell me exactly what happened between you and that guy."

"I thought we were over that. Alec and I are just friends." _Way to ruin the night. Make me talk about the awkward relationship I have with Alec._

He rolled his eyes. "I was talking about the dude who hurt you!"

 _Oh_. I could feel a blush rising to my cheeks. Luckily, he didn't notice.

"Tell me," he insisted. "I want to hear it from you. Alec portrayed you as a hero when he told me what happened."

I smiled widely. "I felt like the hero."

"What kind of hero gets his ass kicked?" He pushed a finger against my shoulder.

I threw a kernel of popcorn at him, which he picked off his shirt and popped it in his mouth.

"Even Spiderman and Batman got their ass kicked. Cut me some slack. It was my first time doing anything like that."

"And the last," Jasper said seriously. "I meant what I said about you getting hurt. Don't ruin your pretty face. It's not worth it."

"What do you do?" I blurted. The way he talked about all this, so nonchalantly, didn't sit right with me.

"Sorry. Are you experiencing amnesia, too? I'm not playing doctor, if that's what you mean."

I met his eyes, two glowing jewels in the semi-dark room. He was so beautiful, it hurt to look at him. "I meant…What I wanted to say, is what do you do when you or one of your friends is attacked the way Alec was. Do you just stand there and accept whatever insult they throw at you? Or do you turn your back and run the other way like a coward?"

His eyebrows shot up. "What got into you, Edward?"

"Just answer," I demanded.

He lifted one shoulder and popped a few more kernels of popcorn in his mouth, all the while studying my face. "I usually ignore them. It's easier."

"I saw. At the hospital, when Riley was sick. If it wasn't for me, you'd have gone with what Garrett said."

"The hospital's rule. As for you, I get it. It hurts worse when someone says bad shit about your friends, rather than you. Even I know what that means— _love_." He mouthed the word, staring right into my eyes.

"You mean Riley?" I decided to play dumb.

"Riley, because let's face it, there's no gayer person than him on earth. Pete. You…" He closed his eyes. "Diego."

"Diego?" I repeated, confused.

 _Who the hell is Diego?_ I'd never heard of him.

Jasper took a deep breath, before lying on his back, and turned his head toward me. By the look on his face, I expected a dramatic story. At least, the walls were breaking a little. I was going to have a peek inside Jasper's life.

"I left Texas for more reasons than my parents refusing to understand me."

I reached over and linked our fingers across his stomach. He tugged me closer until I was lying on top of him, with my head on his shoulder.

"You can't fathom how old families are like down in Texas." His southern drawl was heavier than ever when he spoke of home. "They're against gay, like normal people are against…war, or killing elephants. Yeah, bad comparison, but you get the idea."

"I get it."

"No offence, Pretty Boy, you don't, but it's okay. Pete and I, we knew we were different. We kept the secret for as long as possible. One day, a widow crossed the border from Mexico to us. She had a son around our age."

"You became friends."

"Yeah. Our small town welcomed them, protecting them when the police came searching for illegal immigrants. It was the most action we got there. Pete got closer to Diego, and they became tight. Tight like you and Alec. I was happy for my friend."

_Why not tight like us? Right, because we're not tight. I doubt we're even friends._

"What went wrong?" I glanced at him in time to see his jaw clenching.

"Someone saw them holding hands. It was summer. Pete had a baseball cap on his head, so they only recognized Diego. Everyone started harassing him. We were too chicken to do anything, until my own father brought that up over dinner one night. He wanted me to stay away from the Mexican buttfucker. I told him I was one too, and he backhanded me, telling me to not even joke about it.

"After that, I made sure to be seen by my parents around Pete and Diego. I always touched them when we were together. I wanted to show them, instead of actually sitting down and having a conversation, which might have hurt. Dad could literally beat me into a plum."

"You were scared."

"I was your age, Edward. My behavior was unacceptable. Look at you being all brave. First, you stood up for me, helping me see Rile when you didn't know him at all, then you stood up for your friend and got beaten up. I'll never have that courage."

Admitting that was huge—for him, or anyone.

"So what happened to Diego? Don't tell me they killed him."

"No, but the people in town managed to send him and his mom back to their country. I haven't heard from him since."

"That's sick."

"Once high school ended, Pete and I left, but not before coming out to our parents. That's probably the bravest thing I've ever done. Dad gave me a good beating, and Mom said she was disgusted by me."

I wrapped my arms around him, hugging him tightly. "I'm so sorry, Jasper. I feel like an idiot for whining about my life when you had it so much tougher. My parents are…accepting me—it took a while, but they're getting there. Alec's parents and you helped. You opened their eyes."

He stroked the tips of his fingers over my back. "I want you to have a chance for a better life and not to make the same mistakes as me."

"Not to say I want to copy you, but once I graduate, I'm going to New York. If I get in to Juilliard."

"You will. Speaking of… Didn't you get an invitation to play for Pittsburgh Opera? What happened? Did they change their mind?"

"I never called," I mumbled into his t-shirt.

"You're a freaking idiot!"

I bit my lip, not saying anything. Maybe I was an idiot.

"You're going to call them in the morning and ask if the offer still stands," he demanded, tilting my head so I could see how serious he was.

"I'm scared. It's the fucking opera, Jasper. What if I mess up during a big event?"

"Edward, you'll do amazing. I want to buy tickets to your own show."

"You do?"

"Of course." Jasper pecked my mouth, smiling.

I burrowed my face in his neck, closing my eyes. "Thank you."

That night's sleep was the best I had in a while. Waking up in Jasper's arms was even better.

He usually was out of bed by the time I got up—not today.

During the night, we'd shifted so he was spooning me. I loved being encased in his arms, and his morning wood was definitely a bonus, digging in my ass. I wiggled my butt, earning a low groan from him. It encouraged me to do it again.

"Edward, what in God's name are you doing?" he muttered into my neck.

 _Ooops?_ "I…I thought…since you're _up_ , and I'm _up_ …maybe we could…"

"I'm not up. We barely got any sleep."

"What do you mean?" I picked his hand from my hip and fiddled with his fingers.

"You seriously don't remember me waking you up every hour? You opened your eyes and rolled on your other side, mumbling something."

"I did?" I couldn't remember anything.

Jasper leaned over me, his blond bangs falling into my eyes as he pressed his cheek against mine. "What happened yesterday, Pretty Boy?"

"Yesterday? Dude, I just woke up from the best night's sleep I've had in weeks. Let me bask in the moment."

" _Dude_ , I'm making sure you're not suffering from amnesia."

I caught his eye as he pushed me on my back. He widened his eyes, urging me to answer.

"So, yesterday. What happened?"

I frowned, trying to search through my foggy brain for the wanted memory. It was out of reach—I could tell it was important, but I was too tired to think.

"Edward?" Jasper took my face between his hands. "Pretty Boy?"

My eyes widened when I remembered school was finally over for the summer.

"Last day of school!" I grinned.

"Anything else?" He looked anxious.

"Uh, I was worried about Alec…Alec!" I choked out. "I hit McCarty. Did that actually happen?"

He breathed a sigh of relief, before smiling. "I was told you were pretty awesome."

"He hit me, too. I was in the hospital. You called Mom, which I hate you for, then we came here…"

"Good. You scared me there for a second." He kissed me quickly.

"Sorry, but my brain shuts down with the end of school—hibernation time."

Jasper chuckled, pinching my nose. "Interesting. Anyway, your doc said no to sex, so we better get breakfast—out of the house, in public where I won't be tempted to jump you."

"Aw, but I feel fine, and since when are you against public sex?"

"Edward, no."

Rolling my eyes, I pushed him off me, ignoring my painful erection. Who'd have thought I'd see the day when Jasper cockblocked me? Not me.

"There's a diner across from Bella's parents' store. We used to go there a lot as kids."

"Not anymore?"

"Uh, no." I tried to hide my red cheeks, but he noticed.

"Hot waiter?"

"Actually, hot customers. You see, the diner…it's on Liberty Avenue. Heck, I even stopped joining Bella when she visited her parents."

"Aw, poor baby." He grasped my chin. "Do they know?"

"Her parents? They suspect, I think."

"Let's go to that diner. What store do they own? I might need to do some grocery shopping."

"How much do you hate me?"

"I can't hate you, Pretty Boy. One reason I want this is to get out of the house. I guess tonight we can do whatever you want, but until then…we need to take it easy."

"Since when do you follow the rules?"

"Since always," he answered honestly.

"I'm the exception to your little rule," I reminded him in a singing voice, tracing a finger over his chest.

"Not in this case. Not when your health is at risk."

I poked him. He laughed.

**OoO**

The diner had a few customers when we stepped in about an hour later. I tried not to gawk as Jasper led the way to a booth in the back.

I sat facing Jasper and the wall behind him, keeping my back to everyone else. Jasper had a different idea.

He plopped down, resting his elbow on the back seat, and pointed to the spot next to him. "Now," he mouthed, making butterflies erupt in my stomach.

Cuddling with him in a public place was my dream come true, but not here. This place was swimming with a lot of hot guys, and I was still new to being out and sexually active. I had eyes, and I couldn't look away. My dick liked everything I saw.

It was embarrassing.

Despite my better judgment, I sat next to Jasper.

Tanya, the waitress who'd worked there since forever, came to our table, handing us the menus. I stared at her amused, wondering when she was going to recognize me.

It took her only thirty seconds to gasp and hug me. "Edward! Oh, gosh! It's you! I haven't seen you in ages! My, you grew up!"

Same exuberant, crazy Tanya. "Hi." I grinned.

She noticed the way Jasper was holding me, tucked into his side.

"Oh, you guys on a date? We have a special breakfast offer for cute couples."

I glared, knowing she made that up.

I was about to say she should save the fake special offer for an actual couple, when Jasper did the unexpected. He took my hand, intertwining our fingers and smiling at Tanya.

"We'll have that, and a coffee for me."

"Me too," I said automatically, still shocked.

"Juice for the kid," Jasper teased. He brought my hand to his mouth and kissed the top of it.

 _The fuck happened to him?_ "Are you serious?"

"Coffee doesn't mix well with your painkillers."

"She won't put whiskey in it!"

"Just bring him OJ," he told Tanya, who was gaping at our interaction.

"Okeydokey." She left with a promise to be back quickly.

I kicked Jasper under the table. He grabbed his leg, throwing me a glare.

"What the fuck was that for?"

"You _know_. You're such an asshole sometimes."

"I'm looking out for you." He tapped my nose.

"You're treating me like a child," I hissed, blinking away the sudden influx of tears.

Jasper grabbed a fistful of my shirt, pulling me closer and kissing me _that_ way—making my heart double in speed and my toes curl. A hole appeared in my stomach and my bones became jelly.

"I'm only looking out for you, Pretty Boy. Trust me, when I look at you, I don't see a child. I never did."

"What do you see?" I whispered, staring hypnotized into his eyes.

"I see a strong, brave, beautiful young man. A selfish guy who would risk his well-being for his friends. An amazing person—inside out."

"You mean that?" I choked on my words.

Cupping my cheek, he nodded, leaning closer and nudging my nose with his. "You're very important to me, Edward."

I wrapped my arms around his neck, allowing the tears to fall.

Jasper just told me he loved me.

Well, not in so many words, but he did. I could bet he wasn't even aware of how much meaning his words held.

We had a slightly uneventful breakfast, where I tried to keep my eyes on my plate, but failed miserably; especially when a really cute guy came over asking for the salt shaker. He was all smiles, and I pushed it blindly to him. Still smiling, he said he wanted the salt, not pepper. I felt like an idiot, and stuttered an apology. A jealous Jasper gave the salt shaker a shove so violently he spilled most of it on the table. The other guy gasped dramatically, talking about bad luck, before picking the shaker and promising to return it. I stared after his perfect ass, as an awkward tension settled between us.

Bella bursting into the diner and rushing to our table broke the bad spell.

"I saw you through the window, and was like, no way! That can't be Edward!"

"Is this the bad luck?" Jasper mumbled in a bored voice. "Are we totally cursed to never have a peaceful date?"

"You're on a date?" Bella stared in shock, then turned furious. "Here? At this shitty diner? Surely, you have the money for fine restaurants, doc!"

"I thought she liked me," he whispered.

"Me too," I whispered back, before turning to smile at Bella. "We were going to drop by the store after breakfast. Don't be mad at him, I'm not exactly luxurious restaurants material."

"Exactly what I said earlier." Jasper chuckled, elbowing me in the ribs, gently.

"Yup. That's me—selfless, humble, and very passionate about what I know is right."

"Oh, I know." He touched my jaw, which was still sore and purple from Emmett's fist.


	16. Chapter 16

_When you hold me_   
_In your arms so tight_   
_You let me know_   
_Everything's alright_

_I'm hooked on a feeling_   
_I'm high on believing_   
_That you're in love with me_

**Vonda Shepard – Hooked On A Feeling**

"This is useless," I grumbled, tossing the book away.

"I promise I'll be done in a few minutes," Jasper said for the seventh time in the past hour.

I was slouched in his plush chair at the clinic, while he was swamped in paperwork.

I even had the pleasure of meeting Alice, which was odd. It felt like I already knew her from Jasper's stories. She was a living ball of energy, who praised Jasper's opinion about anything.

Unfortunately, all that happened on _our_ day—the day Jasper promised we'd spend together, alone. The dream was over when Alice called about some patient and how she needed Jasper's help. We ended up at the clinic, and that was where we'd been since. The whole day was gone.

I was tired of sitting around, playing on my phone, talking through texts with Bella and Alec, looking over Jasper's medical books—it was boring as hell.

"All done, Pretty Boy!" Jasper beamed at me five minute later.

"Are you sure? You won't get another phone call or more papers from Alice?" I bit my lip, and straightened up in the chair. My back cracked loudly, making me groan and Jasper laugh.

"Done. I promise."

He shut down his computer, and walked to me, holding out his hand. "Come."

I smiled, taking his hand. He pulled me against his chest, kissing me soundly.

We'd become closer since I was on summer break and spent most of my time with him. My parents were gone a lot, preparing Dad's campaign. During the day, I usually visited either Bella or Alec, then in the evening, I met with Jasper.

"Where are we going?" I wondered as he pulled me out of the clinic.

"Anywhere you want. I'd like dinner before anything else."

"Dinner sounds awesome. You want to come to by my place? I'm sure Zafrina cooked something delicious."

He grinned, putting his arm on my shoulder.

At home, I found a note on the fridge about food on the counter and my parents having called to say they were going to be late, and should be home around nine. It was close to seven, so we didn't have to worry about them, yet.

They knew I was seeing Jasper, but acted as if it wasn't real. My guess was they didn't agree with our relationship because of his age, because they never had a problem with Alec, besides the fact that he was gay…like me. Though, Mom seemed to be over the fact I was queer, she kept asking about Alec, hoping I'd go back to him—someone my age.

"Movie?" I offered, plating spinach and eggs. Good thing Zafrina left them on the warming plate.

"I choose," Jasper declared.

"I doubt you'll like any. I have lots of chick flicks. You know, Bella's fault."

"Some are decent, besides, I prefer to call them romantic movies."

I sat on my bed while Jasper browsed through my DVD collection. He really had an amazing ass.

"How about this?" He turned to face me, holding something behind him.

"I'm sure it's okay, whatever you chose…I've seen them all."

He smiled sheepishly, showing me a sheet of music.

It was the one with the melody I composed thinking of him. Seeing the expectant look on his face, I turned red.

"That's not a movie."

"It has my name on it. Were you doodling during your lessons?"

I rolled my eyes. "Like violin classes require a pencil. No." I scrunched my nose, hoping he'd drop it.

"Then why is my name on it? It won't surprise me if some big guy wrote a piece with my name. Only last year Alice told me there's a stone with my name," he said amused.

"That's right! Jasper, I know." I chuckled.

"So?" He flicked his wrist, shuffling the sheets of music.

"Yeah, there's a composition with your name." Maybe this way he'd realize how much I loved him.

"Who wrote it?" He looked genuinely curious.

Looking down into my lap, I mumbled, "Me."

"Sorry?" Jasper tilted my head with a finger under my chin. "You?"

"Me, yes. I wrote it a while ago. You inspired me."

"I did? Wait, back up." He knuckled his forehead, squinting at me. "You wrote a song…inspired by me."

"In a nutshell." I lifted a shoulder, smiling shyly. "Is it okay?"

He looked incredulous. "You're a fucking prodigy. Seriously. Why haven't you called the opera house, yet? I'll do it for you, and give you a swift kick in your bubble butt if you don't go."

"I can feel the love," I joked.

I'd kept dodging the opera house issue for months, but not anymore. Truth be told, it terrified me. I was in seventh heaven when I found out about their proposal, but after giving it some thought, I realized how scared I was of taking that step.

"What's wrong, Pretty Boy?" Jasper stepped between my legs, taking my face between his hands.

"I'm not ready. I'm scared, Jasper."

"It's fear of the new, the unknown. You have to be sure of yourself and believe in your talent. Everything else will work out on its own."

"How do you know that?"

"I'm paid a lot of money to say the same thing to many people who don't really understand it or will never overcome their fears. I believe in you, Edward. Call them. You'll see it's not so scary when you meet them."

I took one of his hands and squeezed. "If I mess up on the stage, it's not something I can stop and start over."

"Why don't you think of being awesome, because you are. Imagine your triumph, not your failure. That's a true artist's greatest fear—they're not good enough, they'll be horrible out there." He placed one hand on my neck, keeping my head turned up to look into my eyes. "Well, let me tell you, in any job you choose to do, there's no stop and start over. There's only going on like it didn't happen, keeping your head held high, assuming your mistakes, and learning from them."

"Huh. You're good at this." I winked.

He leaned closer, kissing me softly. "I nearly lost it my first time."

I frowned, not sure what he was talking about. "Lost what?"

"My faith in myself. Alice's dad gave me one of his patients. I couldn't help the guy at all. He left in tears after our session, and I rushed to Dr. Brandon and told him I couldn't do it."

"Did he tell you what you just told me?"

"No. He told me I wasn't cut out to be a psychologist and I should go home and start thinking of a new career."

"What a cruel thing to say!"

"It was like a bucket of ice over my head. After so many years of studying, I couldn't give it all up. Before I figured out my next move, I went to the recently discovered Rainbow. My intention to drink myself stupid evaporated when I found my patient at the bar. He was nursing a beer. We got talking, and maybe it was the location or the effects of the alcohol, but we discussed more than at the office. He even thanked me at the end of the night, admitting I had managed to pull him out of the darkness."

"Wow. That's…not very orthodox."

"Helping him gave me so much courage; I went back to the clinic the next day and told Dr. Brandon I wanted my own clients, including Larry."

"The guy you helped?"

"Yes. Dr. Brandon clapped me on the back and said he had faith in me and knew I wouldn't give it up."

I nodded in understanding. "You have the same kind of faith in me."

"Absolutely. I heard you rehearsing violin when you lived with me. I heard you playing the piano at the recital."

I gulped thickly, my palms becoming sweaty. "Want to hear it?" I gestured to the sheet of music in his hand.

"Please."

Jasper sat dutifully next to me on the bed, crossing his legs at the knee.

I took my time picking up my fiddle, tuning it, propping it against my shoulder, before I actually started playing.

"Don't you need these?" He interrupted, waving the papers in front of me.

"I wrote it. Of course, I don't need them. Now be quiet."

He zipped his lips, making me laugh. Playful Jasper was one of my favorite sides of him, aside from horny Jasper.

The melody poured out of me like the first time. I usually had my eyes closed while I played, and Mr. Brown chided me all the time. This time, I couldn't shut them. Jasper's azure gaze kept me trapped. There were different emotions playing on his face, but awe and pride seemed to be the strongest.

Halfway through the piece, I took a wrong note and cringed, but it was his fault. No one had ever stared at me like that when I was playing. It was intimidating, and it made me self-conscious of the smallest mistake.

Somehow, I continued playing as if it hadn't happened. When I was finished, I turned around and placed the violin on my desk. It also gave me time to recover after the intense staring contest.

"Edward!" He choked.

The next second, I was in his arms—my back to his chest, and his nose buried in my hair as he breathed harshly against my ear. I stood there, frozen, unsure what to do with this sentimental Jasper. I was used to many faces of Jasper's, but not this one.

"Did I suck?" I broke the silence.

Jasper turned me into his arms. I noticed his eyes were wet.

Holy shit. I made him cry.

I had no idea how to feel. Was it a good thing? A bad thing?

"Edward—Pretty Boy, no one has ever done anything so special for me. I absolutely loved it. You were fabulous, and you're a _fool_ for thinking you sucked. You're human, it's normal to make mistakes."

A knot formed in my throat at his words. "I'll call the opera house."

"Wise decision. Now, come here." He hooked his fingers in the loops of my jeans. "How long until your parents are home?"

"Another hour or so. Maybe. No idea."

"Not enough time to thank you." He nuzzled my jaw.

"We can go to Rainbow, then to your place?" I suggested, wanting nothing more than to end up horizontal with him by the end of the night.

"Better yet, we can go somewhere to eat—the food's cold by now." He pointed to the bed. "Besides, I want to take you out."

My heart jumped in my throat. "Then ask me nicely."

He gave me an amused look that said "Are we really doing this?" Then he sighed, grabbing my hand with a flourish movement.

"Would you like to go on a date with me, Pretty Boy?"

"Yup." I beamed.

"After all the trouble I've gone through…you say 'Yup'? You're crazy, kiddo."

I gasped in mock-horror. He smirked, kissing me soundly.


	17. Chapter 17

_No one knows what it's like_   
_To be the bad man_   
_To be the sad man_   
_Behind blue eyes_   
_And no one knows_   
_What it's like to be hated_   
_To be fated to telling only lies_

**Limp Biskit – Behind Blue Eyes**

"I feel so underdressed," I complained, fidgeting in my chair.

Jasper had brought me to the fanciest restaurant in Pittsburgh. He could have at least told me to change into something more…appropriate for this place. My plaid, short-sleeved shirt, jeans, and sneakers didn't exactly fit in; especially not next to Jasper. He was still dressed in his work clothes, looking the epitome of fancy shmancy.

"Have you watched _Pretty Woman_?" I added when he simply stared at me, amused.

"Yes. Why do you ask?"

"I feel exactly like Vivian!"

"Don't," he said softly, reaching over the table to take my hand.

"But look at this place. You fit in here, not me."

"I'm so sorry, Pretty Boy. I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable. We can leave."

The honest look on his face made me want to tell him it was okay, I'd suffer through dinner, I'd try to ignore the odd looks, but I decided the brutal truth was the best choice.

"I still want to go to Rainbow." I didn't dare meet his eyes. He probably was ashamed of me embarrassing him.

The waiter chose that moment to join us.

"Good evening, sirs. Have you decided on what to order?"

Jasper stood in a smooth motion, reaching out for my hand. "We're actually leaving."

The waiter paled. "Did something upset you, sir? Was the waiting too long?"

"It's not you, or your services. They're impeccable. I eat lunch here every Wednesday with a friend. We've decided on a different location, now, though." With that, Jasper led me out the restaurant.

"You eat here every week? Was that a lie?"

"I haven't in a while, but I used to come here with one of my patients. Ex-patient, if you will. Once he started college, we haven't seen each other much."

"So, was it like a date?"

"I don't date my patients. We fell in this routine when he told me once he was hungry. We had the session here." He shrugged.

"Why here? This is pretty expensive."

"He always paid. It was better this way. Our lunch cost less than a session. His family isn't exactly rich."

"Do I know him?"

He groaned. "You ask too many questions. He's a college professor now. That's all you're getting. If you're jealous—which is cute—don't be. I don't date. It's not my style," he said it in a way that showed he actually didn't give a fuck about dating. Which he didn't, I knew as much, but I was hoping.

"Seriously? What the fuck is this, then? You asked me on a date a few hours ago!" I snarled, stepping away from him.

Jasper raised an eyebrow, pursing his lips concealing a smile.

I rolled my eyes. "Yup. I'm the exception—I'm sick of that excuse."

"You are! Come here." He pulled me into his arms. "I'm sorry, Pretty Boy."

Because I could never stay mad at him, I allowed him to take me to his car.

After parking the car at the mouth of the alley leading to Rainbow, Jasper took my hand, and led me to the door. He overstepped the whole line.

The bouncer flashed him a smile that made me insanely jealous. Jasper patted the guy's bulging arm on his way inside.

I let my hand slip from his, folding my arms across my chest. "Another reason not to be jealous?" I muttered.

He winked. "You got that right."

I scowled.

Jasper wrapped his arm around my shoulders. "He's straight," he whispered in my ear, taking the lobe in his mouth.

I turned red, feeling ridiculous. Did acknowledging our feelings change my behavior? I never cared so much about the way Jasper interacted with other males—until tonight, apparently.

"What if I promise you're the only one I see? I don't really care about others."

"You don't? You expect me to believe that shit?"

"They're…how do you say? A means to an end? They bring me pleasure. That's all. You—you're different." He took my face in his big hands, staring at me with the most sincere look in his eyes. "I care a lot about you, Edward. I was hoping you realized that."

"You have a funny way of showing me sometimes."

"I never claimed to be perfect." He leaned closer, pressing his forehead against mine. "I promised to try. I am trying, but I can't change who I am. I like the game."

My eyes stung and I blinked quickly. "I ruined the night with my jealousy," I admitted under my breath.

"No, you didn't. I understand now. When I first saw you with Alec in my bed, I mistook jealousy for anger. That night was the first time I had a taste of my own medicine, so to speak. I realized I was hurting you by fucking around."

"What about now?" I looked at him, trying to process his words.

He'd been jealous of Alec. I couldn't believe he admitted such a thing.

"Now, I'm happy to have you back in my arms—where you belong."

My retort was stuck in my throat. He could be so sweet.

I wanted to ask if he still felt the same toward Alec, to tell him we were only friends who sometimes hugged each other for too long, or kissed on the lips. I didn't see the crime in that.

"Let me buy you a drink. What will you have?" He used that soft voice, the one that did weird things to my head and heart.

"Surprise me." I smiled, showing him the jealousy fit was over.

He smiled back, the skin around his eyes crinkling.

At the bar, we found Riley and Garrett. They were leaning against the counter, tongues down each other's throats and hands everywhere.

"We're not that gross, right?" I checked, glancing at Jasper. He tore his eyes from the happy couple.

"No way. We don't make gross sounds."

"And I don't drool like that," I pointed out.

"Nor dry-humping."

"Nor trying to fuck in public places."

Jasper raised an eyebrow at my last comment, before jutting his chin toward the Backroom. I scowled, making him bring me closer and kiss me deeply.

"We can hear you making _gross sounds_ ," Riley said loudly. We pulled away to look at him. "And there's spit on your chin. Just here." He tapped a spot on his own chin.

Jasper wiped my mouth with his thumb, tugging at my bottom lip when he was done. Butterflies erupted in my stomach.

"So what? We're not gross like you two sick puppies!"

"No, honey. When you two are together unicorns are shitting rainbows because everything is so perfect." Riley grimaced.

Garrett choked on his gulp of whatever he was drinking.

Jasper burst out laughing, elbowing me in the ribs. "As long as you're the treasure at the end of the rainbow…"

I grinned, wondering how he could be so sweet one second, and so heartless the next.

"Now, you're sickeningly sweet." Riley fake-gagged.

"You _are_ sickeningly sweet, Riley. Good to know you're acknowledging it." Peter appeared at the bar, between me and Jasper. "Oh, what are you doing here?" He looked at Jasper.

"Fancy restaurants aren't for the kid. He loves the night life."

I pressed my fist to his stomach in a joke, but I was glaring. "I'm not a kid. I'm eighteen."

"Wooohoo! Big difference."

"It is! I'm an adult."

"Still not allowed to buy your own drink, or do drugs."

"And that's wrong, why? Some people don't do either and they're past the legal age."

"Touché."

I downed the shots he'd ordered before I took his hand. "Let's dance, or…are we having round two over my age?"

He groaned. "I don't want to fight, Pretty Boy," he protested weakly.

We danced until our feet hurt. We were both sweaty, and while I probably looked like a drowned rat, Jasper had never looked sexier. His wet golden locks plastered to his temples, his sleeves rolled up to his elbows, sweat bullets glistening on his face and chest, his shirt hanging opening—he looked delicious.

"I need a break," he rasped, keeping his hands on my hips.

"One more song." I pouted.

"Fine, then we're getting a drink and going home."

"Yay!" I snuggled closer, still moving along to the beat.

It was a rock song I hadn't heard before, but the lyrics were perfect for how I felt about Jasper.

_I was made for lovin' you baby_   
_You were made for lovin' me_   
_And I can't get enough of you baby_   
_Can you get enough of me_

"Do you know this song?" I asked, catching his eye.

He smirked. "Sometimes I forget how young you are. Have you heard of KISS?"

"Kiss? As in kiss?" I pecked his mouth, chuckling.

"As in the band. It's their best song— _I Was Made For Lovin' You_."

"Naw!" I slapped his chest playfully, my heart doubling in speed.

He rolled his eyes, looking almost exasperated. "That's the song's name!"

"Oh. I like it."

"Of course, you do."

"You know what other song I like?" I pushed my chest against his, smiling innocently.

" _Talk Dirty To Me_?"

I got sidetracked by his words. "Is there really a song named that?"

"You tell me your favorite, and I might let you know." Jasper winked.

I beamed, linking my arms around his neck. " _I'll Make Love To You_."

"Not too bad. I was expecting something cheesier, like… _I Will Always Love You_ , or _Love Me Tender_. Anyway, I'm surprised you know Boyz II Men."

"Bella likes them," I mumbled, totally bummed he didn't answer differently.

I thought after what we'd shared earlier, at my house, he'd show me more emotion. Jasper rested his forehead onto mine.

"Why the long face?" He nudged my nose with his.

"I meant it, and you think this is a joke."

"Let's not fight."

"This isn't fighting. Christ, Jasper. What's wrong with you tonight?"

"I'm sorry about earlier, Edward. I'm just a guy who never played by the rules, then you appeared in my life like… like…"

"A wrecking ball?" I joked, keeping the song theme in our conversation.

He burst out laughing, hugging me tightly, and burrowed his face in my neck. "I thought we were over quoting from songs, but that works. You changed everything. I'm sure you can't see it, but both Pete and Riley keep telling me how different I am."

My heart doubled in speed. I'd accomplished my goal—Jasper was changing his ways. "In a good way?"

"A very good way, Pretty Boy. That's why I want to do something nice for you too. I'll go with you to meet the guy at the opera house."

"You'd do that?"

"Of course. You're very special to me, and don't hold it against me if I upset you sometimes. I heard that those you care most about, they hurt you the worst. I hope it's not our case."

"Is it so hard to say it?" I almost whined.

"Not here, not now. Give me time, but know that my heart does _this_ when you're around." He placed my hand over his heart, which was thumping fast. I was afraid he'd have an attack.

"Mine too," I breathed. "Oh, and there are butterflies in my stomach when you call me Pretty Boy."

He smiled, stroking my hair. "Let's get out of here."

"Best idea you've had all day!"

We walked past his friends, through the crowd, and didn't stop until we reached his car. Jasper pressed me against the passenger's door and kissed me thoroughly, making me swoon like those silly girls faced with their crush. I wasn't sure my feet were still touching the ground. He made me feel like I was in heaven, and I'd never get tired of the feelings he created inside me with his mere presence.

Today had been a huge step forward in our relationship.


	18. Chapter 18

_Quit playin' games with my heart (with my heart)_   
_Before you tear us apart (my heart)_   
_Quit playin' games with my heart_   
_I should've known from the start_   
_You know you've gotta stop (from my heart)_   
_You're tearin' us apart (my heart, my heart)_   
_Quit playin' games with my heart_

**Backstreet Boys – Quit Playin' Games (With My Heart)**

All my thoughts regarding the Pittsburgh Opera were in vain.

I'd called them the morning after my conversation with Jasper, and they wanted me to come for an interview. They made me play a few pieces on the piano, and when I told them about the violin, they made me audition for that, too.

That was all. We parted ways, with them promising to call.

And _that_ was a month ago. I'd even forgotten about it. I had more pressing matters that needed my attention—like Jasper's birthday.

During a talk with Riley the other night while Jasper was busy in the Backroom, I found out my boyfriend was getting older. Both Peter and Riley warned me about their friend disliking the celebration of his birthday, but I was adamant.

It wasn't like I had a right to be mad at him for keeping it a secret. He found out I turned eighteen days after my actual birthday. In my defense, the eventful end of school had distracted me.

I very nearly missed the day myself, if not for a phone call from Bella, a lone text message from Alec, and Mom kissing me at dinner—the only time she saw me that day.

But back to my problem.

"What do I get him?" I whined, following Mom around the house as she got ready for her day.

"For God's sake, stop following me like a lost puppy!"

"But Mom! No one will help. Bella told me to get him a perfume-too expensive-and Alec said I should buy him clothes—overrated."

"Good suggestions, sweetie." She looped her earrings on, looking at me through the mirror. "You can always go with something personal."

"Like this?" I tapped my leather bracelet.

"Something to remind him of you. For example, your dad used to buy me a piece of jewelry every time we saw each other when…he was courting me."

"Dad? Dad courted you?"

She laughed, ruffling my hair. "It happened a long time ago."

"Huh. Anyway, it's not like I can get Jasper jewelry."

"Lock this for me." She handed me her necklace. "I don't know what he likes, but you can get tickets to a concert, or a movie."

"That's a kid's birthday dream. He's thirty, soon to be thirty-one!"

"Must you remind me?" Mom cringed.

"We're _not_ back to the age thing!"

"No. No. Goodness, look at the time!"

"Mom, wait!" I shouted after her as she rushed out of the room. "Help!"

"I'll think of something. Maybe you should ask your father. I mean, he's a man. He must know better."

 _Yeah, not happening._ "Thanks," I said sulkily as she left.

I spent the whole day on the Internet browsing for the perfect present for a middle-aged guy who could have anything he wanted.

Around 4 pm, my phone rang, pulling me from my Internet surfing. I picked up without checking the caller ID. I thought it was Jasper, letting me know about our plans for the night.

"Mr. Cullen?" A kind, warm voice asked.

"Yes. Uh, hello?"

"It's Alistair Pike. We met a few weeks ago."

"Uh, I'm sorry…" For a wild second I thought he wanted to speak to my dad and got the wrong Cullen.

"You auditioned at the opera house in Pittsburgh?"

"Oh, right. I mean, yes. Yes, I did."

_Holy shit. Hoooollly fucking shit!_

_They called to say I sucked monkey balls._

"I heard you last year as well. You've got talent, Mr. Cullen."

"Thank you." I couldn't move. I was paralyzed. I was going into shock.

"I know it's short notice, but do you happen to have plans this Friday evening?"

 _Jasper's birthday_. "No. No plans."

"I'm so relieved to hear that. Would you mind joining us tomorrow morning for rehearsal? Our main violinist has broken his arm and the replacement is out of the city."

"Uh, yes. Sure. When? I'm sorry for being so…tongue-tied. I'm really surprised."

"Don't worry. It's understandable. Is 9 am alright?"

"Perfect."

"Good. Then we'll see you tomorrow, Mr. Cullen. If you have any trouble finding the place, call me on this number."

_How could I miss the freaking opera house?_

A good half an hour after we hung up, I was still staring blankly at my phone unsure if I imagined the whole conversation.

Once I got over the initial shock, I searched what they were going to play since it had slipped my mind to ask.

My eyes widened and my jaw dropped when I read the name of the opera— _La Bohème_.

Holy fucking shit.

I'd tried playing it during class, and never mastered it.

Not wanting to make a fool out of myself the next day, I decided to practice. I got so engrossed in playing, I tuned out everything until the door of my room opened to reveal Mom. She looked tired.

"We just got home, and it's near midnight. Can you stop?"

My eyes widened. "Uh, sure."

"Goodnight, son."

_Wait! I have fabulous news!_

The door closed before I could find the courage to tell her about the phone call, and I was too chicken shit to go after her. If Dad was in one of his moods, he'd ruin my buzz.

Before turning in, I checked my phone and found missed calls from Jasper. His last voicemail said he was staying at home, and he hoped I wasn't mad at him because he hadn't done shit. My heart pummeled to my stomach. I tried calling him, but when I got no answer, I left him a voicemail letting him know we'd meet the next day, and I wasn't mad at him.

It seemed funny to have Jasper seek me out to meet. Coming from the guy who, a few months ago, didn't even look twice at the same guy, it was a huge shift of behavior. It proved how much he liked me, that he wanted me…he loved me.

In the morning I went to the opera house afraid they'd throw me to the curb once they heard me play the part.

When Mr. Pike gave me the music sheets, I felt my palms sweating. He wanted to hear me play alone at first, then join the rest of the orchestra. I played so many false notes, I wanted to repeatedly bang my head against the nearest wall.

"I'm sure you can do better," Mr. Pike said me once I was finished.

"It was pretty neat. My first time sounded like whale mating," the other violinist said, laughing.

Mr. Pike laughed along, and I gave a nervous choked laugh, as well. "So am I in? Or did I suck? Or I sucked, but I'm still in because you have no one else?"

The other violinist burst out laughing, having only calmed down from the previous round. "Do you kiss you mother with that dirty mouth?"

"Eric, don't scare the poor kid," Mr. Pike admonished gently. He turned to smile at me. "You got the part, Mr. Cullen. Now, hurry. Eric, show him to the rehearsal room."

Eric nodded, leading the way out of the room. I walked a step behind, letting my eyes linger on his pear shaped ass.

"I think he's going to hire you full time," he said.

"Really? What about the others?"

"They're getting old, and I know Laurent wants to go back to France. Are you a free-lancer?"

"Uh… No."

"Oh, bummer. Alistair won't be happy to hear that. Where are you working?" Eric glanced at me over his shoulder.

"Nowhere." I squirmed nervously. "I'm in my last year of high school."

I expected the usual eye-widening and look of sudden disinterest, because I was too young to be taken seriously.

Eric stopped walking so suddenly, I nearly ran into him. When I looked at his face, his mouth was hanging open and his eyes were bulging out. "You're a minor?"

"So what?" I was getting sick of that question.

"It's not a problem. Just…it's good to know." He studied me—head to toes and back, wearing a thoughtful look. "You look familiar, though I bet I have you mixed up with someone else since you're so young."

I swallowed hard, keeping my head held high. "Unless you hang around on Liberty Avenue, we've definitely never met before."

His brown eyes widened. "Rainbow!"

"Maybe. I don't remember you." It was the truth, but I wasn't surprised to hear he was gay.

Dressed like that, so elegant on a rehearsal day, it proved he was another queer, through and through, just like Riley. Anyone could tell just by looking at him, and I'd been eyeing him since we met an hour ago.

Suddenly, Eric groaned, pointing a finger at my chest. "I remember! You ruined my night a few months ago. I was dancing with Jasper, then you appeared and pushed me away as if I didn't mean anything. He didn't seem to care, since you were younger and eager as they come!"

I snorted. Figures, he'd been trying to dance with Jasper, but anytime I was at Rainbow with him, somehow, he ended up dancing only with me, leaving only with me.

"He will never look at you or anyone else, let alone dance. Not as long as I'm around, and I plan to stick around for a long, long, long time. You see, Jasper's my boyfriend." It was a huge, fat lie, but I had to battle all his tricks away. If they thought he was taken, they wouldn't go after him. Hopefully.

Eric's eyebrows shot up, and he stifled a smile. "Are you high? Jasper Whitlock doesn't do boyfriends! He'd never change that. Maybe he likes you more than any other he had before, and he needs to fuck you out of his system, but don't fool yourself. He won't change his lifestyle for a twink."

It was my turn to be speechless. If a virtual stranger knew so much about Jasper—the same thing his closest friends had warned me about—it meant he truly would never change. But no. I could tell he'd changed. It was the small things that proved he was trying to be a better person.

In that moment, I knew exactly what to get him for his birthday—a ticket to _La Bohème_.

**oOo**

Two days of rehearsing such a difficult play was not enough. Playing this part was more than I'd bargained for. My fingers were bleeding, but I didn't care.

On Friday morning, I put two tickets on the table while my parents were having breakfast.

"Consider this a belated anniversary gift from me." _It was two months ago, but who cares?_ Even they forgot about it.

"Where did you get the money for these?" Mom asked, surprised.

"Not from that man, right? Are you stealing from him?" Dad frowned, tearing his eyes from the paper.

"No! I wanted it to be a surprise, but…I'm kinda…going to be there." I pointed to the tickets.

"With him? Kind of?" Mom wondered, trying to control her features.

"What's all this mystery?" Dad demanded, glaring at me.

"You sure know how to ruin my day! I'm going to play, but obviously you don't care, so fuck you! Rip the tickets and shove them up your ass!" Tears spilled from my eyes as I rushed out the house.

My next destination was Jasper, and I hoped he'd react better than my parents.

Alec was waiting in his car in front of my house.

"What happened?" He watched me worried when I slipped in the car, wiping at my tears.

"Just drive."

"Aw, honey…" He reached to pat my knee, but I jerked away.

I'd tried avoiding all physical contact with him, just to keep things clear between us.

"Wait in the car, please. I'll be quick," I promised as he parked in front of the clinic.

I found Peter at the front desk, chatting with the lady there. I couldn't remember her name.

"Let me call Jasper for you." He made to grab the phone, but I stopped him.

"Give him this and make sure he gets there. It's a surprise." I smiled, handing him the ticket.

"It's one of his favorites." He grinned after reading the ticket.

"Really? Awesome."

We said goodbye, then I was back in the car, apologizing to Alec for my behavior. He waved me off, saying he knew how much Jasper meant to me, and that he'd accepted I'd never love him. I bit my tongue not to admit that I did love him, Alec, but it would be confusing when I'd admit I also loved Jasper.

During lunch, I told Alec about my fears regarding Jasper still being a man-whore behind my back.

"You've been with him 24/7."

"Not recently."

"Then he's an idiot if he went to another when you couldn't meet. Normal people understand their partners have their own lives, too."

"That's the way he is." I shrugged.

"He's different, Edward. Even I can tell that. By the way, he'll appreciate your present."

"You think?"

"Yup."

**OoO**

Before the concert, I was so nervous my fingers wouldn't stop shaking. Eric showed me his techniques to calm down, and it worked. The deep breaths and focusing on positive thoughts always did the trick.

The whole show, I concentrated on my job, giving the best I could. Even I could tell it was my best performance ever. Mr. Brown would be so proud of me.

When the opera ended, I'd never been happier or prouder of myself. It didn't even matter people couldn't see me, but they'd heard me play…along with a few others, but I'd been one of them.

I'd never felt so important in my life.

Backstage, I pulled my phone out to call Jasper, and noticed many missed calls and texts from him.

**Where are YOU?**

**Did you just stand me up on my bday?**

**Fabulous, Pretty Boy. Simply fabulous.**

**Nevermind, it's better this way. We need to talk when you get over yourself.**

**Are you ever going to pick up the fucking phone?**

Jasper's text messages alarmed me, and after saying a quick goodbye to the amazing team I'd played with, I rushed toward the hallway, hoping to catch him if he was still around.

I found Mom by mistake, and she engulfed me in a hug, making me squirm. I didn't have time for her mushiness.

"Have you seen Jasper?" I asked before she could gush over the play.

Dad, who was next to her, pointed somewhere above people's heads. Following his finger, it wasn't difficult to spot the blond god. He was disappearing into the restroom with another man.

My heart shattered, falling into my stomach.

"Honey," Mom started in a gentle tone.

"Don't!" I snapped.

"Let's take you home. You were simply amazing, darling."

"Esme, I think he needs to confront that jackass once and for all, or I'll confront him and introduce him to my fist."

"Don't hurt him! I'll go…talk…you guys, go home. Don't wait up."

"Oh, we will!"

"Dad, it's going to be okay. That guy probably happened to just go into the bathroom at the same time as Jasper."

"I doubt it. They sat in front of us the whole time. You should have seen the way they touched, or heard the things Jasper was saying."

My eyes filled with tears.

Fuck. I'd truly upset him. Maybe I should have told him. He definitely didn't like surprises.

Telling my parents to go home, I made my way to the men's room.

My legs shook violently and my stomach churned as I stepped inside. I could hear sounds of pleasure coming from one of the stalls.

Fuck.

I never thought it could hurt so much.

"Jasper!" I choked out, leaning over the sink.

"Oh, you decided to grace me with your presence?"

He didn't stop fucking the guy. I could hear the sounds of skin slapping against skin and the trick's growing moans.

"How could you do this?" I wailed, clenching my fingers on the sink's edge.

The stall's door opened and Jasper stepped out. He looked delicious in his gray suit. On his way to me, his zipped up his pants, all the time looking into my eyes. The other guy fumbled with his clothes before hightailing it from the war zone.

"So, where were you? Playing nanny to Alec?"

I slapped him hard across the face, making his head turn to the side. "It was meant to be a surprise. Clearly, you didn't even read the brochure. I was one of the violinists."

Cupping his cheek, he stared at me, bewildered.

"That's right. I got the call, and I said yes. You're…I don't even have words. Everyone's so right about you!"

"Edward…"

"Don't. Save it."

"There's something you need to know," he said fervently, blocking my way to the door.

"You're not sick, right?"

That would be all I needed—a disease from the man-whore.

Sidetracked, he shook his head mechanically. "No. Of course, not. I'm always careful. I get tested regularly."

"Fine. So what do you want from me?" I sighed, tiredly.

He looked nervous for a moment, totally atypical. "I had no idea how to do it, and this violent way wasn't what I had in mind."

"Oh. Awesome. We're breaking up in a bathroom." It felt like a punch to my gut.

"To break up, you need to be in a relationship."

"Right. The one-sided relationship was getting tiresome. Okay. Whatever." I brushed angrily at my stubborn tears. "You never deserved me, Jasper, or my heart, or my ass."

"Edward," he sounded pained. "Hear me out. We're not ending things because of you."

"Obviously. I'm not the one screwing everything with a dick in sight."

"Pretty Boy, your school principal contacted the clinic today. He wants a new therapist for the school, and I'm the most qualified for that in our office. We can't see each other anymore."

I gave him an _"Are you joking?"_ look. "I won't be your patient."

"I have to give a psychological evaluation of every kid in the school by Halloween, which means only two months from the start of school."

"And we're breaking up or whatever because you don't date patients?"

"In a nutshell." His lips turned up in an almost smile.

"You know what? Fuck you, Jasper! Go to Rainbow, find a willing ass and fuck your brains out. I don't give a fuck. I hate you!"

I shoved him out of my way, and stormed out of the bathroom, running down the empty corridors and out of the opera. I didn't stop running until I reached Bella's house.

I needed my best friend—the only person who understood me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pictures of Alistair and Eric in my group on facebook. ;)
> 
> Until next week. Thank you again for all your nice words...and hopefully you won't hate me for this ending. They'll make it through.
> 
> PS: For every Alec-lover, I have great news! I found him someone...but that's in chapter 40 (what I'm writing at the moment). A few more bad times for until then, though. So buckle up. ;)


	19. Chapter 19

_He was beautiful_   
_In the daylight of the morning sun_   
_His golden hair had come undone_   
_So beautiful_   
_He touched me with his fingertips_   
_He bended close, I kissed his lips_   
_So beautiful_

_It was easy for me to say goodbye_   
_Watch him walk right out the door_   
_Tellin' myself I'd forget his face_   
_Like all the other times before_   
_And I was halfway through the afternoon_   
_When I knew that I was wrong_

_He was spinning around inside my head_   
_Like some old familiar song_   
_So maybe some night while the music plays_   
_Though I don't know where or when_   
_I'll be walking into some crowded room_   
_And I'll see his face again_

**Cher – He Was Beautiful**

It took Bella several minutes to answer the phone. "This better be good, Edward."

Awesome. I woke her up. I had to face Cranky Bella.

"Oh, it's simply fabulous! Open your window," I urged her.

She hung up, and a few moments later the window opened, and Bella poked her head out. I stifled my laughter at her bed hair.

"Why aren't you with Jasper?" She yawned loudly, stepping away from the window as I climbed the tree expertly and slipped into her room. I had years of practice, and I knew by heart all the right places where to place my foot or hand. I'd fallen too many times in the beginning to not learn how to be careful.

"It's a long story."

"It better be a good one, too. You woke me up from an amazing dream!"

"Okay, to make it short, he came to the concert, but he couldn't see me, he thought I stood him up. And God forbid someone stand Jasper fucking Whitlock up! So he decided to get his rocks off with some dude in the men's room."

Bella groaned, falling on the bed and covering her face with her hands. "I hope you're dumping his ass."

"He dumped me." I snorted. "Wait, you haven't heard the best part!"

"Why are you so cheery?"

"This situation is too funny! Principal Bennett talked to Jasper. He's going to be our new counselor."

"I heard that old lady left."

"Bella, you're missing the point. Jasper, my boyfriend slash fuck-buddy slash world's biggest asshole, is going to be the school counselor. He wanted to end things, anyway. This was the best way out."

"I thought you'd be more upset when this moment came. It's actually over."

She pulled me on the bed, and I lay next to her. We turned to look at each other.

"Give me some time. It hasn't sunk in, yet. When I finally grasp that we're done for good, I might need his professional help."

"Can you be serious for a minute? I'm worried about you!" She cupped my cheek.

"Why?" I was perfectly fine. What happened mere hours ago felt like it had happened to someone else, and I was telling her a story.

"As you said, you haven't grasped the reality. It's enough to deal with a depressed Alec. I don't think I can live seeing you sad, too. You're my best friend, honey." She shuffled closer, kissing me between the brows.

"Aw, Bella." I snuggled closer to her, kissing the top of her head. "Don't worry about me. I can live without Jasper. The world doesn't revolve around him. He's just…my first…the only man I'll ever love…my everything." My breath caught in my throat as I stumbled over my words.

"Here we go." She sighed, hugging me tightly and rubbing a hand over my back.

"Fuck. Why did it have to be him that night?" I sobbed on her shoulder.

"I don't know, honey. At least, I hope you don't regret it."

"Are you crazy? I spent the best times of my life with Jasper." I pulled back to stare into her eyes. "What am I going to do at school? I'll have to face him."

She soothingly rubbed my back. "You need to find a new hobby."

"I might have a job at the opera."

"That's good. Playing will keep you busy."

"And at night?" I voiced my greatest fear.

She didn't answer for a few endless minutes, and when she did, it wasn't helpful at all. "I don't know."

I sighed, running my wrist under my nose, sniffing loudly.

"Can I stay tonight?"

"You know you can." She kissed my cheek, before handing me a box of Kleenex.

I blew my nose loudly, but more tears followed, and I was soon having a meltdown like never before. My sobbing and loud hiccups woke Renee, Bella's mom. She didn't comment on my presence in her daughter's room at that time of night. She only sat next to me on the bed and hugged me, whispering soothing words. It made me cry harder, knowing my own mother would have never done such a thing.

Bella was the one to explain the situation, but not before consulting me with a glance. I nodded. It was time her parents knew about me, too.

Renee didn't blink. She kept me in her arms, rocking me gently, saying she knew. Why couldn't my mother be so understanding?

I had no idea how I managed to fall asleep, but in the morning, I woke up with one goal in mind—find Jasper and talk.

We couldn't end our relationship, or whatever we'd shared, with a fight.

I wanted to part ways on good terms. We were going to see each other at school soon enough.

**OoO**

When I arrived at Jasper's, the first thing I noticed was his car parked crookedly. The second thing, the scariest part, was the state of the car—there was a huge dent in the rear.

My heart jumped in my throat, and my feet started shaking.

_Jasper! No!_

I rushed to the front door, only to find it ajar, which fueled my panic.

_Holy fuck! What the hell happened here? What has he done?_

I slipped inside the house, before bounding up the stairs, calling his name. "Jasper? Jasper! Are you okay? You here? Jasper?"

There was no answer, making me feel worse by the minute.

I stopped in front of his room. The door was wide open, and gathering all my courage, I looked inside.

Jasper was lying on the bed, face down, still dressed in yesterday's clothes. I edged closer, holding my breath. When I noticed blood splotched on the bed sheet, near his head, I gasped.

My hands reached for his shoulders and I shook him. "Jasper!"

He grunted, rolling over. A hand flew to his head, as he opened his eyes to squint at me. "Fuck."

"What happened?" I stared at him in horror, my mouth going dry. "Did you get into a fight? Did someone break in?"

"Why are you here?"

"I wanted to talk to you, but nevermind. Tell me what happened to you!"

He rubbed his temple before letting his hand drop in his lap. "I'm bleeding." He looked bewildered at his red fingers. "Shit."

"You remember?"

Closing his eyes, he sighed heavily. "After I left the opera house, I went to Rainbow," Jasper said slowly, as if just remembering himself, which he probably was.

"Did you pick the wrong guy?" That was my greatest fear. He never knew what psychopath would be his trick of the night.

Jasper lifted his head, locking eyes with me. "Actually, I refused everyone. Instead, I drank all their offered drinks. No one can say no to free booze."

"So you got smashed and drove home. Then what?"

He shook his head, scowling. "I remember everything. I wasn't drunk, Pretty Boy. My car!" He shot up, only to sway and fall back on the bed.

I kept a hand on his shoulder. "Yeah. Your car…it looks like you had an accident. It explains your head injury."

Jasper touched his temple where coagulated blood had formed a bump. "Some asshole ran into me. The light had turned red, and I stopped. The next thing I knew, the airbags popped out. I swear, people think they can speed at night only because the traffic is low."

"Holy shit! Did you get his license plate?"

"I was being suffocated by the air bag, and my head was cracked from hitting the side window. Besides, it was night!"

"Well, then you should go to the police."

"They never help."

"Maybe they have surveillance cameras. Though, not now. Now, we're going to the hospital."

"Oh, yeah? How, pray tell? Did you drive mommy's car? Mine's off limits since it's damaged, and God knows if the engine was affected, too."

 _Oh, shit_. "If the engine was affected, you wouldn't have made it home."

"My point is, I'm not taking chances. Anyway, I don't need the fucking hospital."

We glared at each other.

"Let me help," I begged, taking his hand.

"Pret—Edward, look. I appreciate the concern, but kindly fuck off."

My eyes stung with tears and my stomach rolled. He'd never cut himself off from saying my nickname. Never. Which only proved we were truly over.

I wasn't deterred, though. "Please, Jasper. You can't even sit up."

"That's because I have a concussion."

"Which is dangerous! You stayed up the whole night to take care of me when I had one."

"I can take care of myself."

"Whatever." I stormed out of the room, giving him the impression I was leaving, but I sat on the top stair and pulled out my phone.

I called Alec to come over and take us to the hospital. He made sure to tell me I owed him big time.

While waiting for my friend, I went back to Jasper, hoping he'd calmed down.

He wasn't in bed anymore. I found him in the bathroom, sitting on the floor, leaning his back against the wall, ankles linked, eyes closed.

"Still here? A persistent little fuck," he mumbled, not looking at me.

"Stop being stubborn. I get it, Jasper. I'm not stupid. You don't want me, you never did. At least, let me help you. I care for you, and it doesn't matter if you don't care about me."

"Don't say that. You don't know anything," he hissed, opening his eyes.

"Actually, I really don't. You never talk. Save it. I don't want to hear your pitiful excuses."

"Edward." He moaned, grabbing his head.

I wet the end of a towel and knelt next to him, dabbing his injured temple. He winced, but kept his eyes on mine. I could tell there was an internal battle going on inside him, but it wasn't the time to discuss his nonexistent feelings for me.

"Do you have any enemies?" I broke the silence.

The corner of his mouth lifted up in amusement. "No, unless you think any of my ex-lovers went berserk."

"They all want more," I said pointedly.

"Also, they all know one night is all they get."

I snorted, dropping a kiss on his golden locks. "I'd like to think it was only an accident."

"It was," he said in a determined voice, but I could tell he didn't believe it.

I wrapped my arms around his waist, placing my head on his shoulder, and Jasper put a hand on my back. We stayed that way until Alec called to let me know he'd arrived.

Jasper didn't put up a fight when I told him we were going to the hospital.

At the E.R., we ran into Garrett, who immediately called the appropriate doctor to take care of Jasper. They took him to a private room, admitting him for tests.

"You can go now, Edward," Jasper said, when we were given a few minutes alone.

"No way! I can't leave you alone."

"I'll call Pete. Go."

He didn't want me.

"Oh, okay. Goodbye." I hoped with all my heart it wasn't the last time I would see him, or our last goodbye. It felt that way, though.

On my way to the door, I thought I heard him say something, but my mind was definitely playing tricks. I didn't even turn to look at him, because if his face confirmed the words I thought I heard, I'd break down.

If my ears hadn't deceived me, Jasper really was a coward. He preferred to say it to my back, and so softly I'd miss it.

In my heart, I knew he'd actually said the words.

He said the words I most wanted to hear from him. I'd been waiting months for him to say them.

"I'll always love you, Pretty Boy."

I closed the door behind me, walking out the building blinded by tears.


	20. Chapter 20

_At first I was afraid_   
_I was petrified_   
_Kept thinking I could never live_   
_without you by my side_

_Oh no, not I_   
_I will survive_   
_Oh as long as I know how to love_   
_I know I will stay alive_   
_I've got all my life to live_   
_I've got all my love to give_   
_and I'll survive_   
_I will survive_

**Gloria Gaynor – I Will Survive**

Alec was waiting in the car outside the hospital.

"I know I'm a shitty friend, but that was the last time," I admitted, slipping in the car.

"Stop apologizing for things you can't control—like your feelings for that prick."

"I'm hurting you in the process."

"Don't break up on my account," he said quickly, turning his head to me. His eyes were huge and honest.

I swallowed bile. "To break up you need to be in a relationship." I repeated Jasper's words from the previous night.

He frowned. "What? Why? I thought you two…it was actually working out."

"It's not. It never will. For one, he's going to be the school's counselor starting this fall. For two, he's not a relationship kinda guy."

Alec gasped, glancing at me, before focusing back on the road. "What? He's going to teach at our school?"

"He's going to be the shrink. Apparently, Bennett thinks we're a bunch of depressive fuckers, and he wanted a professional to help us. He has to talk to all of us by the end of October, then no one will ever cross his doorstep—like with the old counselor."

"Or maybe, there will be a line at his door." He laughed.

"Alec, how many queers do you think are in our school?"

"We're going to find out soon enough. I bet Jasper can convert the straightest of all men if he puts his mind to it."

I rolled my eyes. "Change of subject, please."

"Okay. Tell me about last night."

Happy to have such an understanding friend, I delved into the story, going into details, reliving the whole thing. It'd been fabulous—the best experience of my life.

At home, I thanked Alec again for putting up with me, before I made my way toward my house.

I noticed the garage door open, and went to inspect what the hell was going on. Dad always kept it closed.

"Where have you been?" he demanded, making me jump out of my skin.

He was a few feet inside the garage, but all I could see was the Merc—his most prized possession. The front of the car was bent in and one light was hanging out.

I'd seen another damaged car mere hours ago. Specifically, the back of it.

My eyes jumped to Dad, and I shook my head mechanically.

No way. He couldn't have. He wouldn't have.

I couldn't talk or move, my eyes moving between Dad and the car.

"Oh, yes," he said nonchalantly. "There was a minor incident last night."

"Who did you hit?" My mouth went dry, and my whole body was shaking.

"It was a dog."

I stared at the hood of his car in disbelief. _Must have been a hell of a tall dog_ , I thought.

"Oh, you're home!" Mom appeared in the doorway that led inside the house.

"Dad, I swear to God, if you're the one who hurt Jasper…I'm leaving! For good. Not like either of you will care."

His eyes widened. "What are you talking about?"

"Don't play dumb!" I yelled so loud my voice cracked.

"Can you two at least fight inside the house?" Mom hissed, approaching me, probably to pacify me. "Good God! What happened to the car, Carlisle?"

My suspicions were confirmed.

I narrowed my eyes at my father. He glared right back, not missing a beat.

"That bastard had it coming. Whatever you say, I still believe he forced you and turned you into this big fairy!" A vein pulsed on his forehead. "The way he's been treating you, the way he talks about you, his age—"

"And we got to the point I suspected this was going— _Jasper_. Can't you understand his age doesn't mean shit? Jasper never forced me! I've been gay since I was born!"

"That's right. I remember now. Your revelation right after your mom gave birth to you. You decided to be a big faggot and ruin our lives!"

"Carlisle, stop!" Mom shouted, wrapping her arms around me. "How can you say such things to him? Haven't you paid attention at the meetings?"

"What meetings?" I asked, sidetracked.

"We've been attending PFLAG meetings at the Center every Thursday evening."

My mouth dropped open in shock.

And here I thought nothing would top Jasper admitting his love for me. I was wrong.

Dad growled loudly, throwing his arms in the air. "It doesn't matter, Esme! They're brainwashing us, making us believe faggots are as normal as us. They're not! They're freaks!"

I hated myself for letting his insults getting the best of me, but tears sprung into my eyes. His words hurt more than when McCarty or anyone else spat them at me.

"Want to know the truth, Edward? Fine. I dropped your mom home, then went back to the opera house. That rapist was just leaving. I followed him. He went to some freak club and left about an hour later, drunk and stoned out of his mind. I followed him a few blocks before I got the best opportunity and ran into him. Why, did I hurt him badly?"

My father was a heartless son of a bitch, and the town would be destroyed if he was elected mayor.

"YES!" I wanted to punch him for laughing in my face about hurting Jasper. "You hurt him. He's in the hospital!"

"Oh, no, Carlisle!" Mom said, agitated.

"Don't worry. He doesn't know it was you," I muttered. "Though, I do. I can make the info of your attempted murder public, and it would screw up all your chances to become mayor."

"Who'll listen to you?"

"Plenty of people. You have no idea how many straight people are on our side!"

"There are more against you. You'll never win."

"Fuck you! I'm leaving, and never coming back!"

Dad actually laughed, making my heart break at how cruel he was. "I can't wait to see how well you'll do for yourself out there alone. I'll probably read in the morning paper about a hustler being found dead in the dumpster."

"Carlisle, stop this instant! Edward, sweetie, you have nowhere to go."

"Mom, I can't live here, not with him around. You can come with me," I blurted, needing her more than ever.

She looked uncertain. It only proved how much she _loved_ me.

With tears streaming down my cheeks, I barreled into the house and up the stairs, not stopping until I reached my room, where I packed all my things. When I was finished, I had two suitcases, one duffel bag, my school bag, and my violin. My whole life was in these bags.

I left without even looking back, without saying a word.

I cried the whole way to Alec's—the only place I could think of at the time. If I couldn't stay with him, I was going to the Center with all the creeps.

Twenty-four hours ago my life was perfect. Now, it was in shambles.

Jane opened the door, looking surprised. "Edward, sweetie, what happened to you?" She took me in her arms.

Even though she wasn't that much older, she knew how to be around teenagers. I'd seen her with Alec, and now with me. I tried not to burst in tears at her gentle touch.

"I left," I choked out. "Can I hog your couch until I find some place to live?"

"You don't have to ask. You're staying," she said in a stern voice, pulling me inside, and helping me with the bags. We went upstairs to the guest bedroom, next to Alec's room.

Alec appeared in the doorway of the guest room to see what was going on. "I heard your voice," he said.

I gave him a watery smile, before turning to Jane. "Are you sure this is okay?"

"Absolutely, kiddo. Are you hungry? Do you need anything?"

"Yeah, I'm kinda hungry," I admitted, embarrassed.

"French fries with cheese, and fried sausages?" She smiled, touching my arm.

I nodded. "Thanks."

"Don't mention it." As she walked out of the room, she stopped next to Alec, cupped his cheek, and whispered something into his ear. He nodded solemnly, catching my eye.

Once we were alone, he came to me, tugging me to the bed. "What's going on? Everything was okay an hour ago."

"A lot can change in one hour, Alec."

"Did you have a fight with your parents? I thought they'd be happy to hear Jasper was out of the picture."

"Funny you say that." I sneered. "'Dad really tried taking Jasper out of the picture—for good, last night."

He gasped, his wide eyes staring at me with raw panic written all over his face.

"Yeah. Jasper's accident…it was my dear daddy. How screwed up is that? The future mayor tries to kill a gay man because he doesn't approve of his son's relationship with said guy. He hates fags. He's made it painfully clear, but to go as far as to put someone in the hospital…"

"Are you going to tell Jasper?"

I stared at my fingers, which got blurry as I started crying again. "My own parents are disgusted by who I am. Jasper doesn't want me. I have nowhere to live, no money. What the fuck am I going to do?" I cried into my palms.

Alec hugged me, pressing his cheek to my back. "You're staying here with us. You still have me and Bella."

"Alec," I sobbed, turning to hug him. "I feel so…lost."

"Shh. Remember when you put me back together a few months ago? Now, it's my turn. Let me help you."

I cried on his shoulder, knowing my next words were going to hurt him, but it was what I felt. "I need Jasper." He'd know what to say, what to do, how to make me feel better.

Alec tensed, but reached for my phone. His kindness knew no bounds, just like my hypocrisy.

"No." I covered his hand. "He doesn't want me."

"I highly doubt it. He may not show it, but everyone can tell how he feels about you. It's in the way he looks at you, the way he touches you. Edward, I've seen you two together—you're like…two pieces of a puzzle."

"Really?" I stared at him in wonder. "He's opened up a lot lately, but still won't let me in."

"You're so blind. You're already in! Some people don't say the three magic words. Look, I rarely heard my parents say them. Mom used to say if you said it too often, the words lost their meaning."

"But he never said it!" _Not to my face_ … I thought back to his whisper at the hospital.

"So what? Does your happiness depend on him telling you 'I love you'?"

Why was Alec trying to make me get back together with Jasper, when he should try keeping me for himself?

I bit my lip, staring into his honest and sorrowful blue eyes, wondering to myself if I'd ever cease hurting this amazing guy.

I swallowed the knot in my throat. "I love you, Alec. Thank you." I kissed him softly, stroking his hair.

"I love you, too. You know that, Edward." He touched my cheek, staring at me sadly.

"I'll wait until school starts to see what's going on, then decide anything regarding Jasper."

"What about your dad?"

"Jasper doesn't need to know. He'll go to the police and report the accident, it will be investigated, then it will be over when they find no real evidence. You know how the police are."

He smiled, getting up. "Need help unpacking?"

"Sure."

We spent the next half hour unloading my stuff in the closet and chest of drawers.

When his aunt called us for lunch, I was starving, having skipped breakfast and not eaten properly in almost twenty four hours.

Sophie, Jane's girlfriend, welcomed me under their roof with open arms. They were such a close family.

For the first time, I felt at home…in a place I shouldn't feel that way.

I had no idea how I could live with myself. I was tormenting my best friend at every turn, and he put up with everything I did to him. It proved how much he loved me, in a way I'd never be able to love him. I recognized that kind of love, because I had it for Jasper, and I'd do anything to make him happy, even though it hurt me in the process.


	21. Chapter 21

_I was a fool to ever leave your side_   
_Me minus you is such a lonely ride_   
_The breakup we had has made me lonesome and sad_   
_I realize I love you 'cause I want you bad, hey, hey_

_Reunited and it feels so good_   
_Reunited 'cause we understood_   
_There's one perfect fit_   
_And, sugar, this one is it_   
_We both are so excited 'cause we're reunited, hey, hey_

**Peaches – Reunited**

The first day of school brought a rainy, awful day.

Alec and I were sitting in his car in the parking lot, getting courage to make a mad dash to the school entrance.

"On three." He winked.

"I'm not ready," I muttered. He said we wouldn't need an umbrella, because the drizzle wouldn't get worse until we reached the school. It got a hell of a lot worse.

"Three!" He sprang out of the car, running toward the building.

Asshole.

I followed close behind, my muscles seizing up from the sprint in the cold rain. Since I was holding the school bag over my head, I couldn't see where I was walking, so it shouldn't have been a surprise when I collided with something…a hard something.

As I picked myself off the asphalt, I realized, to my utter disbelief, I had run into a car. It was funny, since it was me running into it and not the other way round. Thank God. Though, the sad part was that I knew the car—oh, so well.

What felt like seconds later, familiar hands were on my shoulders. I hadn't seen Jasper since that fateful day my dad put him in the hospital.

"Shit. Did I hurt you?"

"Hi." I tried not to laugh at the ridiculous situation.

"Did you hit your head?" Jasper asked, cupping my cheek after helping me up.

"I kinda ran into you, which is funny as hell."

"You're lucky I was parked. Jesus Christ, Pretty Boy. Way to give me a heart attack."

"Sorry." I smiled shyly.

"Are you sure you're okay?"

"Yes. You?" I held his eyes, trying to decipher his emotions.

"Alright." He lifted one shoulder. "I need to go—prepare for today. See you around."

Then he was gone.

When I joined Alec at the front doors, he was chuckling behind his hand. "What a coincidence!"

"Why didn't you come to rescue me? Fuck. I look like a drown rat." I shrugged off my jacket, and squeezed water out of it.

"Exactly my point. I didn't want to ruin the new jacket Auntie Jane gave me." He seemed to be enjoying this situation a little too much.

"You inconsiderate asshole!" I teased, bumping my shoulder into his.

"You had it under control." He bumped back, winking.

"Me—yeah. Jasper—not so much. He was freaking out."

"You'll have plenty to discuss in therapy."

"It's counseling. Besides, it was so odd…the way we interacted, as if we hadn't been separated at all."

"That's love," Alec said. "You can run, but you can't hide."

"Alec!" I groaned, walking ahead to my locker. Not again with the love thing.

With our schedules for the semester, we'd been handed a brochure about counseling and how every student had to visit Dr. Whitlock by the end of October.

"I say we take our time," Bella declared during lunch. "See how many go to him, and decide when it's the right time."

"Like you have something to hide. He knows of my past. He'll ask unwanted questions," Alec whined, picking at his salad.

"I could go first, and tell him to take it easy on you," I offered, covering his hand.

"And there's patient confidentiality!" Bella narrowed her eyes. "Besides, I have plenty of things that bug me."

"Yeah, me." I laughed, making her stick her tongue out at me.

Alec wasn't amused by our banter. "Do you have serious traumas?" he asked Bella.

I groaned, leaning on the back legs of the chair while Bella delved into a long, pathetic story about that time when we were kids and she brought home a puppy, only to have her parents immediately take it to the adoption center, not approving of pets. She'd been upset for weeks.

I tuned her out, looking around the cafeteria at all the new faces. I spotted a guy across the room—he was definitely a fag if my gay-radar wasn't broken, wearing tight clothes and lots of gel in his hair. I never got these people who put gel in their hair, but then again mine was a mess by its own standards.

After the eventful summer I had, I decided to not give a fuck anymore about what I did, who I did; taking a leaf out of Jasper's book. I had yet to act on my decision, and this seemed like a great opportunity. The new guy was probably a virgin and afraid of his strange feelings for guys, not out yet.

When I noticed him giving the football team appreciative looks, but looking away scared when they caught his eye, it was time to act.

"Be back soon," I told my friends, who ignored me, immersed in discussing Bella's childhood.

On my way to the twink, someone blocked my path. Jasper. He looked amused, but I could see a serious look in his eyes.

He shook his finger at me, before pulling me out of the cafeteria by the hem of my shirt.

"What the hell?" I hissed, annoyed.

"You don't want to do that." His blue eyes were boring into me.

"And what exactly are you talking about?"

"Edward, don't fuck around." He ran a hand through his hair. "For fuck's sake, you should stick to Alec. You're not the… _man-whore_ type."

"Calling yourself names?"

Jasper looked around and realized we weren't exactly alone, as people were coming and going into the cafeteria. "Come to my office," he whispered, nodding down the hallway.

Scowling at him, I followed. We needed to talk after everything that happened.

His office at school didn't look much different than the one at the clinic.

Jasper threw himself in his leather chair, loosening his tie. I sat on the couch, not taking my eyes off him.

I linked my hands between my spread knees, licking my lips. "Did you find out who hit your car?"

Jasper lifted an eyebrow, before shaking his head. "No. Why do you ask?"

"I know." I bit my lip nervously, unsure if it was wise to tell him.

"You do?"

I nodded seriously. "My father."

He relaxed, stifling a smile, obviously not believing me. "Do you hear yourself, Edward?"

"Clearly!" I snapped, narrowing my eyes. "If I were you, I wouldn't vote for him."

A look of disbelief appeared on his face. "You're not joking."

"No, I'm not. Look, Jasper, I get it. You don't want me, but I still care about you."

He held a hand up, penetrating me with his intense blue eyes. "I never said I don't want you. Pretty Boy, where are you staying? Are you safe?"

I opened my mouth, then closed it, processing his question. "What?" I managed to say.

"I went to your house a few days after my birthday. Your mom told me you were gone, and she had no idea where you were. How could you leave like that?"

"If she was that worried, she'd have gone to the police, but I bet they didn't want Dad's campaign spoiled with the runaway son. She probably thought I was at Bella's or Alec's, which is true. I'm staying at Alec's. Also, I changed my phone number."

He looked incredulous. "How do you plan to pay for school?"

"I have to pay?" I had no idea my parents were paying for the public school. I thought that happened only in private education.

"You didn't know? It just shows how immature you are. You should go home, Edward."

"Don't tell me what to do! Dad pretty much told me he wanted me dead—so, no way in hell I'm going back there!"

Jasper sighed loudly, rolling his sleeves up to his elbows. "I'm sorry to burst your bubble, but you need money to survive in this world—money you don't have."

"I do. Pittsburgh Opera paid me. I'm going to play there again."

"That's great, but you're still a minor in the eyes of the law."

"I'm eighteen!"

"Hooray! Eighteen going on eight, or what?"

"Don't fucking patronize me, Jasper! I know what I'm doing." I went to his desk, my fists balled at my sides.

"No, you don't," he said calmly.

"Yes, I do!" I slammed my fists on his desk, making his pen cup shake. "You're not my father!"

"Thank God for that. Incest isn't my thing," he drawled, eyeing me coolly.

"I really want to punch you right now," I said through clenched teeth.

"Do it." He opened his arms, as if inviting me to hit him.

I restrained himself, breathing harshly. I could never hurt him, no matter how angry I was.

"Sit down, Edward. Breathe. Take a mint." He gestured to the chair across from him, pushing a small metal box toward me.

I obeyed, falling in the chair. I was hyperventilating.

"Jesus, Pretty Boy." Jasper walked around his desk and knelt in front of me. "It's okay. Shh." He rubbed the side of my leg.

I let myself fall into his arms, a sob erupting from my chest. He knew exactly how to make me lose control, and not always in a good way.

I'd been keeping everything bottled up inside, and he read through my tough façade. It was his job, after all.

"Help me," I mumbled into his neck.

"Oh, I plan to do just that. You really need help, but we'll do it off the record." He grabbed my chin, tilting my head so we were at eye-level.

"Because I don't have the money to pay you?" I felt sick.

"Because you're a complex case and it will require extra hours, home visits, late nights…"

I pulled away, staring at him in shock. Jasper admitted he wanted to see me again, to be with me again…in his own fucked up way.

"You mean it?" I whispered.

"Every word. I want you back. I miss you."

"You miss me, or my ass?"

"All of you, Edward. I've been worried sick about you."

I gazed at him for a long time, debating whether I was ready or not to subject myself to a relationship with him. If he broke my heart again, I had no idea how I'd react. I'd probably choose to never talk to or see him ever again, even though it gutted me.

The bell rang, making both of us jump.

"Saved by the bell," I said in a shaky voice.

"Think about my proposal."

"I will."

**OoO**

That was the first and last time I talked to Jasper until I had to be there for the evaluation thing. I'd waited until the last possible moment.

After telling Bella and Alec about what happened on that first day of school, they both advised me to stay away. Even Jane asked me to use the head on my shoulders.

I fooled myself into believing not seeing Jasper would make me forget him. It was best for both of us. If we got caught, he risked his career.

It was the day before Halloween, and also the Homecoming dance, since my school was celebrating both events at the same time.

Gathering all my courage, I knocked on the door of Jasper's office at school. I hoped he was still in there, considering it was past seven in the evening.

"Hold on!"

After some shuffling from the other side of the door and a few words exchanged, the door opened, and I came face to face with the library guy.

I wanted to retch.

_Really, Jasper? Seriously._

He could do a lot better than that fucker…he could do me.

Jasper eyed me up and down with a look of surprise. "Oh, hello." He plastered a fake smile on his face. "About time you decided to grace me with your presence."

I grunted and slipped into his office, bumping into his shoulder on the way in.

He bid goodbye to Walter, the library guy, before closing the door.

"I'm aware we have our differences, Edward, but this is my job."

"I'm not here for you to fuck me. Obviously, you just did that, anyway."

He narrowed his eyes. "I meant, your evaluation. Everyone came to me in the first month. I was beginning to wonder if you were going to come at all."

"Slipped my mind." I shrugged, biting my tongue not to comment on his choice of words.

Jasper sighed heavily, walking to his desk, and sunk into his leather chair. He pulled some files in front of him, before glancing at me.

I lounged on the couch, kicking my legs up on the arm rest. I had a feeling it was going to be a long evening.

"Alright. Full name."

"Are you shitting me?"

"Language. I'm part of the faculty."

"If I'd agreed to be your boy toy, you wouldn't have been part of the faculty."

"Edward!"

I picked his lighter from the table next to the couch, flipping it on and off. "Edward Anthony Cullen—C-U-L-L-E-N."

He scribbled on the paper. "Birth date?"

"June 20th, 1996."

I saw him cringe—it made my blood boil, but I kept my mouth shut. Why did my age have to be so important?

"Taurus are ambitious people. Riley is a Taurus."

"I'm Gemini," I said dryly, playing with his Zippo.

He smirked, nodding. "I see. Moving on... Parents?"

"Won't it be easier if I filled that in, or do you like my voice?"

"I have to write this. Your voice is nice."

I rolled my eyes. "Sweet. So to answer you, Esme and Carlisle."

"Jobs?"

 _You know the answer!_ I wanted to shout. "Is this really necessary? Why is this so important?"

"Answer me, Edward. It's Friday night. I want to get to Rainbow before it closes."

"Walter wasn't satisfying enough for your needs?"

"Walter?"

"They guy you just fucked."

Jasper snorted. "I didn't."

"Yeah, he blew you. Big difference. Whatever. Mom's an interior designer, also helps Dad with his campaign. Dad is an asshole." My eyes widened when I realized he wanted to write what I said. "Whoa! Stop."

"It's okay, Edward. That's the way you see him."

"He's a Senator, I think."

"You think?"

"I don't pay attention to politics. I don't care."

"Alright, next part of the questionnaire."

"Shoe size?"

"Jerk."

I poked my tongue out at him, but he turned serious, determined to finish with the questions.

"Favorite color."

I gave him an incredulous look, but answered. His twenty-one questions continued with favorite food, movie, music, book, season, clothes, animal, then we moved on to comparisons—seaside or mountain, oranges or apples, and so fucking on.

At some point, I suspected he wanted the answer for himself, but I didn't comment.

"What's your greatest desire at the moment?"

 _To get the fuck out of here._ "I want a car." It was the truth.

Jasper stared at me for a few moments, before writing the information.

"What do you want to do once you finish high school?"

"Play music, continue my studies…" I shrugged.

"Any plans for the near future?"

"Get a stable job."

"Have you asked your parents for help? I'm sure they'll pay for your education."

"Is that a real question? Like, written there?"

"No. I was curious."

"Curiosity killed the cat. Are we done? God forbid keeping you away from Rainbow."

"Almost. Sit back down," he demanded when I got up, ready to go.

"Hurry, will you? This is boring."

He tapped his pen to the desk. "Are you struggling in school?"

"No."

"What's your relationship with the other students?"

He held my eyes, and I couldn't look away, or lie. "We get along."

"Anyone mean to you? Have you been bullied?"

I closed my eyes, images of Emmett constantly harassing me the previous year, flashing under my lids. "Not recently."

Jasper let out a sigh of relief. "What's your relationship with your parents?"

"Strained."

"The problem?"

I watched as he stayed bent over the paper, waiting for my answer.

"I'm queer," I said quietly.

He glanced at me, the corner of his mouth lifting up. "Do your friends know? Do they accept you?"

"Yes, they're supportive." He knew the answers to most of his stupid questions.

"Are you seeing anyone?"

"No?" That was an odd thing to ask.

Silence fell around us, as he wrote something at the bottom of the last page. I was dazed after the influx of questions—mostly personal questions.

"Do you still love me?" Jasper asked, looking up from his papers.

"Yes. Wait. What?"

Jasper came to the couch, pulling me to my feet. "I meant what I said last month. I want you back."

"But…you're…well, you."

"I won't fuck around behind your back," he promised, looking sincere.

"I know. You'll do it in a room down the hall from me."

"You can join me."

"I'd rather skip."

"Edward, I'll try to change and be a better man—for you. I realized everyone else was a meaningless fuck—you're the whole deal."

"How hard can it be to say the words?" I exploded.

"It's all you get for now. Me—all of me. I need time to learn how to trust and…love again."

Tears sprung into my eyes, realizing what an idiot I was. He had trust issues.

"What about your job?" I smoothed his tie, staring into his eyes.

"We need to be extra careful. Can you do that?"

"I like the thrill." I winked, snuggling closer to him. It was like a breath of fresh air being back in his arms, engulfed by his scent.

"Also," Jasper tilted my head with a finger under my chin. "I want to pay for your school."

"I'll ask Mom. I don't need a sugar daddy."

He snorted. "Good. Talk to her. She's worried."

We stood there grinning like two idiots, before he leaned closer, pressing his forehead to mine. His nose nudged mine making me laugh, before he caught my lips in a hot kiss, making my insides turn into goo.

"Want to join me at Rainbow?" he asked against my mouth.

I had plans to study for an upcoming test with Bella and Alec, but they'd understand Jasper was more important.

"Why not? Maybe afterwards, you can show me your bedroom ceiling."

"There's nothing fabulous about it, or so I've been told."

I laughed, throwing my arms around his neck, unable to contain my giddiness. "I'm sorry," I pressed my lips to his ear.

"Forgiven, though I should be the one apologizing." He kissed the top of my head. "Pretty Boy," he said into my hair, holding me close.


	22. Chapter 22

_Lay me down in darkness  
Tell me what you see  
Love is where the heart is  
Show me I'm the one, tell me I'm the one that you need  
(Come on)  
_  
 _Tell me I'm the one, tell me I'm the one that you need_  
Tell me I'm the one, tell me I'm the one that you need

_I got the time, it'll be alright, yeah, I got the time  
that you need_

**Avicii feat. Adam Lambert – Lay Me Down**

On the way to Rainbow, I texted Bella to let her know our plans were cancelled because I was with Jasper. I switched off my phone, to make sure she wouldn't call to yell at me and ruin my night.

Jasper parked in his usual spot, at the mouth of the alley leading to the club.

"When's the last time you were here?" he asked, walking beside me with a hand on my shoulder.

"Too long ago. Since before your birthday. Why?"

"Oh, you're in for a shock."

The bouncer nodded at Jasper, who nodded back without any other gesture. There was hope after all.

My eyes widened in shock when we got inside the club. I never realized how big the dance floor was, but it usually was packed.

"Where is everybody?" I turned to stare at Jasper.

"A few blocks down. They don't card, and the drinks are cheap. They even give free drinks before midnight. I don't know. Pete's been there. I'm loyal to Rainbow."

"What's the catch? Is there some cop behind the business?"

He beamed at me. "I knew you were smart. Not even my friends believe me there is something fishy with that club. Honestly, in my humble opinion, a night club for gay or straight people should card people. Dangerous stuff goes behind the doors."

"So, what's up with them?"

"No one knows yet. Sadly, this place is going down. Fast." He waved around, steering me to the bar. "Two beers. Which, might I add, are more expensive."

"Sucks." I made to fish for some cash in my pocket, but Jasper shook his head.

I looked around, feeling sad to see my favorite place in Pittsburgh looking so desolate. The music played softly in the background, like it was closing time. A few other guys were scattered around on couches I hadn't noticed before, talking over their drinks.

"Boss thinks if the clients don't return soon, he'll close," the barman told us, placing the bottles on the counter.

"They'll get bored of the new place," Jasper said vehemently. "Where else do they play all kinds of music?"

"Yeah, well…we need something else to attract them back besides good music. I doubt people come here for music, Jasper." The barman chuckled.

"Amongst other things." He shrugged, clicking his beer to mine. "What's with the long face? We can still dance if you want."

"I have an idea. A contest of some kind might bring back the guys. You know, people love crowds and contests."

"We're gays, honey. Wet t-shirts and washing cars are for straight people," the barman said.

Jasper tipped his bottle to the barman. "Actually, that's a great idea. Is Ben around?"

The barman looked between us, before pointing to a door a few feet away from the Backroom. We made our way there, though I wasn't sure if the owner would be amenable to talk to us. Jasper seemed to know him by name, which didn't surprise me.

We knocked, and a few moments later, a man in his forties opened the door, staring at us in surprise. Jasper, who knew how to speak eloquently, started telling him about our idea, without even greeting the guy.

The owner of Rainbow seemed impressed and invited us into his office. He introduced himself to me as Benjamin, before shaking Jasper's hand and smiling. I tried not to think of how they could have met.

As I explained my idea better, Ben came up with great things—better than the wet t-shirts the barman had joked about. He jotted down some of these ideas, thanking me for helping him. He even promised to allow me in the club without thinking of my age.

Before Jasper and I left, Ben decided on what contest he'd organize first— _Measuring Wood_. It sounded like a great plan, and if he got a good artist to do a banner, everyone would be back to Rainbow in no time.

As we walked to Jasper's car, I processed the fact that I'd met Rainbow's owner and helped him save his business with a fleeting thought of mine.

"I can't wait for this contest!" I said excitedly. I'd finished my beer in Ben's office, and indulged in the whiskey he offered us, too. My legs were wobbly, my brain hazy, and I was in a general good mood.

"Oh, yeah. It's going to be something else."

"Are you going to enter?" I nudged Jasper in the ribs.

"Definitely." He winked, making me turn red.

"The contest!"

"The winner."

"That means I have to participate?"

He gasped, tightening his arm around my neck. "No." He almost growled.

"Don't be like that. We're back together for a few hours and you're already ordering me around."

"I thought you liked me bossy."

"In bed." I grinned.

He laughed loudly, pressing his lips to my temple. "You're drunk."

"Maybe."

We stepped next to his car. "Still living with your friend?"

"Yeah… You know that."

"Do you have a curfew?"

"No idea." I'd never asked Jane, but I spent my time at home with Alec, not out with Jasper. Everything was going to change. "I'm sure it's okay if I miss a night."

"What are you talking about? I'm taking you home."

I was suddenly sober. "No, I want to go back to your place!" I might have stomped my foot.

"Don't be a sissy!"

"Too late," I hissed, blinking away my tears.

"Edward, I want to prove you this time will be different. Not a mere fuck."

"Screw that! We both know you want to fuck me. Take me to your house, now!"

"Demanding little thing, aren't we?" Jasper teased, leaning closer to kiss my cheek, keeping his lips pressed against my skin.

"I hear it's good to know what you want in life," I bit back.

"True. Right now, I want your ass," he said hotly against my ear.

"And I want your dick."

He smirked, kissing me softly.

All the way to his house, I burst with pride. I could change his mind. It would have been horrible to have him take me back to Alec's.

Once at Jasper's, we couldn't walk fast enough to his bedroom, leaving a trail of clothes in our wake. He pushed me on the bed, face down, parting my cheeks and blowing over my hole, making me crazy with need.

"Don't tease," I begged.

"Shut up. Let me prepare you, or did you have someone while we were apart?"

Another gesture showing he cared, thrown in a conversation as if it didn't mean anything.

"Why, jealous?" I twisted around to see his face.

"Merely curious." He bit lightly on my ass cheek. It made me shiver.

"It was just me and my hand," I said, settling back into his pillow and masking my smile.

"What about your friend?"

"Alec is only my friend—like you and Peter."

"Hard to believe, Pretty Boy." Jasper rolled me on my back, licking his way up to my neck, paying extra attention to my nipples. "I've seen the way he looks at you."

"The same way Peter looks at you. The good part is Alec knows it's impossible. He understands I'll never love him like that—like…I love you." I reached to touch his face, loving the light stubble.

Jasper hovered over my mouth, breathing harshly as he stared into my eyes. "You think Pete loves me?"

"That's all you got from what I told you?" My heart shattered all over again. Sometimes, I wondered why I chose to hurt myself repetitively, knowing he'd never be able to share my feelings.

He fought a smile, catching my bottom lip between his teeth. "Oh, there was something else. You mentioned that word again."

"How mature of you, Jasper! I'm surprised you didn't say the L-word, since you're so _mature_!"

"It crossed my mind." He chuckled, unable to understand how much that word meant to me.

The fact that he took it as a joke, when I was bearing my heart, my soul…it made me insanely angry.

"Well, obviously you wouldn't mind if I just left." I rolled to the other side of the bed and sat up, ready to stand when he encased me in his arms, holding me tightly against his bare chest.

"I care about you and your feelings a lot." He kissed my shoulder. "Give me time, Edward."

"How much more time, Jasper? Tell me now. Do you think you'll ever be able to love me back?" I turned into his arms, tears threatening to spill down my cheeks.

He stared at me in a way that made me realize I might be asking for too much. In that moment, I was so angry at his parents and all the homophobic people he'd encountered in his life, for damaging his trust in people who actually cared for him. It was their fault he was afraid to open up.

"No, no, no. Don't cry, Pretty Boy." Jasper pulled me closer, stroking my back. "Shh. I hope this is satisfying, because it's all you get for a while," he said seriously, pulling away a little.

I gave him a confused look, swiping a hand under my nose.

"I care for you more than I've ever cared for anyone else. You mean the world to me. It's hard to breathe when you aren't here."

I gaped at him, tears rolling down my cheeks. "You love me."

"Is that what love is?"

I nodded numbly, and got a shy smile from him in return.

Seeing Jasper so vulnerable, I seized up the opportunity. Throwing my arms around him, I whispered in his ear, "Make love with me."

He froze, and I feared I might have overstepped an invisible line, but then he lay me down on my side, spooning me. Gently, he finished preparing me. There was something different in the way he touched me.

When he entered me, I felt like I'd died and gone to heaven. I understood what seeing God meant.

Jasper moved leisurely, keeping an arm across my chest, playing with my nipples, and his other hand holding my head turned so we could kiss. I never wanted these blissful moments to end, but all too soon, my balls tightened and I exploded, taking him with me. In my state of nirvana, I thought I heard him whispering the magic words in my ear, but I was too far gone in ecstasy to pay attention to the world around me.

**OoO**

My phone ringing pulled me from a deep, restful sleep—the best in a long time. Even though we woke up several times during the night, I rested well.

A rumbling sound came from next to me, and I laughed. Turning to him, I saw Jasper half out of the bed, snoring. I hoped I didn't kick him during the night.

Picking up my phone, I answered, leaving the room. I shouldn't have turned it back on before going to sleep.

"Hey!" I said, hoping to mollify Bella's berating.

"Where the hell are you?" she shouted into my poor ear.

"Uh, didn't I text you—"

"Yeah," she said curtly. "Are you out of your freaking mind?"

"What? Can't you be happy for me? We're going to work things out."

"Sure, Edward. I'm so fucking happy for you, I want to recite sonnets."

I frowned, not understanding why she was so upset. "If you're going to be like this…"

"You hurt Alec. I doubt anything you do will make him forgive you," she deadpanned.

"I thought…"

"That's not why I called. It's not my place to tell you this, I just wanted to let you know Alec is really mad at you. Now, the reason I called is…. Do you have any idea what time it is?"

"No idea. We got back late…stayed up late…"

"Spare me the details."

"Not so long ago you wanted to know all about it," I retorted.

"Not now, when you're a jerk."

"Bella, seriously. What happened? Alec accepted the fact that I could return to Jasper. He knew that was a high possibility."

I sat on the top stair, expecting a long conversation. Bella'd never said such hurtful words.

She sighed. "Alec called me to ask if I knew anything about you when you didn't make it back by midnight."

I didn't say anything, letting her talk, though my heart squeezed at the thought of Alec waiting up for me, only to realize I wasn't returning.

"I tried to lie to him, but he guessed you were with Jasper. Edward, I never heard him so sad. His voice was so empty…"

"Oh, shit."

"So don't be surprised if he kicks you out of the house. Oh, Jane is pissed, too," she added quietly.

"You're there!" I gasped, realizing this couldn't get worse.

"Yes. Anyway, get your ass here. It's one PM. We need to get ready for Halloween and Homecoming!"

"Uh, yeah. Okay. I'll be there soon. Tell Alec…we'll talk later." I had serious groveling to do.

After hanging up, I sat on the stairs for a few minutes, thinking of what should I tell my friend, and hoping Jane wasn't going to kick me out. I literally had nowhere to go, and I wouldn't ask Jasper again.

Speaking of him, I half hoped he'd show up behind me during my phone call, but going back to the bedroom proved why he hadn't appeared. He'd migrated to my side of bed, hugging the pillow. He was buck naked, his blond hair sticking in every direction. It was a picture I wanted etched to my memory to hold onto it all my life.

I hated to have to wake him.

Slowly, I sat at his side and touched his warm shoulder.

"Come back here," he slurred, pulling me closer and wrapping an arm around me.

"I have to go."

"Why the fuck? It's Saturday."

"It's also Homecoming." I kissed the back of his head.

Jasper turned his head, his eyes flying open. "Fuck. I promised to help. What time is it?"

"One PM."

"Holy fuck!" He jumped out of the bed, tugging me after him. "We need to shower quickly."

"Separately?" I raised an eyebrow, knowing full well if we showered together it wouldn't be quick at all.

"Together, but no hanky-panky."

"You're no fun." I pouted, following him to the bathroom.

Only half an hour later, our shower was over. I couldn't resist going down on him, and he didn't object.

Jasper dropped me off at Alec's on his way to school. We'd agreed on being careful and not letting anyone know about our relationship. He risked everything, and it proved he loved me.

I kissed him chastely, before rushing to the front door, which opened before I could knock. Jane ambushed me, looking murderous.

She reminded me I had the same simple rules as her nephew, and if I couldn't respect them, I should go back to my parents or to that boyfriend of mine.

It was clear I had to either swallow my pride and go back home—where I'd hate every second of the day— or ask Jasper to take me back into his house. The latter could cause serious problems for both of us at school.


	23. Chapter 23

_I've never been_   
_I've never been stuck_   
_I've never been stuck in the middle_   
_Stuck in the middle_

_You treat me right_   
_But so does he_   
_That's the dilemma_   
_In this game of three_

_One has passion_   
_And one has love_   
_And all I know is_   
_Don't wanna give them up_   
_(No, no)_

**Clea – Stuck In The Middle**

The one who organized the party, mixing Halloween with Homecoming, had one simple rule—wear formal clothing and a mask.

I'd always been against costumes, especially now that we were older, though this party wasn't so bad.

Fifteen minutes after arriving, I was bored out of my mind. Alec kept pestering me with questions of when did I decide to go back to Jasper, what made me change my mind, what had he done to me the previous night—I refused to answer.

"I'm going to get more soda. Do you want some?" I asked.

"Nah. Thanks."

I turned to go, but Alec called my name.

"We need to talk, so don't be too long."

"Yeah. Sure."

I guessed he wasn't going down without a fight this time. He'd been indifferent since I returned to Jane's and on the way to school. Bella abandoned us the second we arrived, and it'd been awkward as hell.

At the refreshments table, I looked around for my favorite drink and couldn't find any Diet Coke. Annoyed, I left the gym and headed to one of the vending machines inside the school building. Someone was already there, seeking better beverages.

When he bent to retrieve his purchase, I knew I had Jasper in front of me. His ass was unmistakable.

Propping my shoulder against the side of the vending machine, I stared at him. He straightened and looked at me, surprised. He looked fabulous in his suit, making me want to tug on his tie, bring him closer for a kiss, then bend over for him to fuck me until I saw stars.

"The catering isn't that satisfying, huh?" He held his Red Bull in his left hand, while searching in his pocket with his right hand. "What will you have, kid?"

I narrowed my eyes, but before I could scream, I realized he couldn't tell it was me.

Time for toying with him.

"Coke." I made sure to use a deep voice and pronounce it in a way that made it sound like cock.

Jasper choked on his spit, giving me a raised eyebrow. "Is that the kind of language to use around faculty?"

"What did I say? I want a Diet Coke." I smiled innocently.

"Oh." His face was hilarious—wide blue eyes, arched eyebrows, opened mouth. "Does the offer still stand?" My eyes zeroed in on his groin. He appeared to be half hard, making me wonder when he _wasn't_ hard. "Cock, you say?" He advanced on me.

I backed into the wall.

_What the fuck?_

This was low even for him—to hit on a student.

Jasper leaned closer. I flattened my back against the wall and stared at him. He looked at me _that_ way—the way that made me lose my mind and want his dick shoved into me within minutes.

He was so close I could feel his minty breath on my face. His body heat radiated from him, and his cock pressed against my thigh.

"I know you want my cock, but you'll have to wait until I'm off chaperone duties."

"Can't we go to your office? We'll be quick," I breathed out, hating him for affecting me like this.

Also, I was curious how far he'd go. If he went all the way, it would break my trust in him forever. He had no idea who I was, but wanted to fuck me.

Jasper smirked, pressing his nose to my cheek, his lips at my ear. "You're a greedy little bitch, Pretty Boy."

I pushed him away.

He chuckled, ruffling my hair. "Next time you decide to hit on me incognito, change your hair color, or tame it." He tapped my nose playfully.

"Can I still get my cock? I mean, _Coke_." I scowled.

"You need to decide which one you want." He pointed at the machine next to us, cocking his head to the side, before cupping his dick through his pants and smirking.

Instant boner.

I was about to drop to my knees and worship his glorious dick when my Math teacher appeared at the end of the corridor. He approached, making us jump apart.

"Dr. Whitlock, I need your assistance in the gym. Is this one giving you a hard time?" He glanced at me.

Jasper shared an amused look with me. "No, we were having a chat about Diet Coke versus regular Coke. I'll join you in the gym soon." He pressed a bill to my hand, winking.

"Sweet. Paying up front." I beamed at him, only to remember we weren't alone.

When the Math teacher gasped, I slapped my hand over my mouth, mortified. I could bet my face was red as a tomato.

Instead of being supportive, Jasper was too busy laughing his head off. When he calmed minutely, he grabbed Varner's elbow, walking him down the hall, glancing back at me and winking.

I bought my Diet Coke, then made my way back to the party. Alec was where I'd left him, munching on crackers and staring longingly at the dance floor.

I placed my half drank soda on the table, startling him. He smiled when he saw it was me, and that special smile reminded me why I loved him.

It was time to apologize. Extending my hand to him, I wriggled my fingers. "Let's dance, handsome."

His whole face lit up, but he looked skeptical. "Are you sure?"

"I wouldn't ask if I wasn't."

Alec took my hand and we made our way to the dance floor. At first, no one noticed us, but when I brought him closer, resting my temple against his, people stopped dancing to point at us. A few brave but stupid ones even said a few nasty words.

"Don't mind them," I whispered when he tensed up.

The song wasn't exactly romantic, but it was slow, allowing us to sway to the music. _Jesus To a Child_ was definitely not on my top ten songs I wanted to dance to. Heck, I had no idea it was danceable until that very moment.

Also, for the first time in my life, I paid attention to the lyrics.

 _When you find a love  
When you know that it exists  
Then the lover that you miss  
Will come to you on those cold, cold nights  
When you've been loved  
When you know it holds such bliss  
Then the lover that you kissed  
Will comfort you when there's no hope in sight  
_  
 _Sadness in my eyes_  
No one guessed, well no one tried  
You smiled at me  
Like Jesus to a child  
Loveless and cold  
With your last breath you saved my soul  
You smiled at me  
Like Jesus to a child  
And what have I learned  
From all these tears  
I've waited for you all those years  
Then just when it began  
He took your love away  
But I still say

It was like a cruel joke.

Being in Alec's arms when all I wanted was the blond god across the room. Jasper was currently chiding a group of sophomores, but our commotion distracted him enough to make him look up. Our eyes met, and he smiled at me proudly. I smiled back, tightening my grip on Alec's hand.

"Back together? You're giving me whiplash with all your break-ups and reunions."

Sweet, dear Alec, always looking out for me.

I met his eyes, biting my lip. "I upset you again."

"Edward, you were never mine—not even when we were together for those short few, wonderful weeks." He cupped my cheek. "I love you enough to understand and respect your decision, but if he hurts you again, he'll have to deal with me."

A lump formed in my throat at his never-ending kindness.

"Thank you." I couldn't tell him I loved him. It wasn't even half as much as he loved me. Instead, I showed him how grateful I was for having him as a friend by pressing my lips to his…in front of everyone.

"Fags!" someone yelled.

"Cocksuckers!"

"Disgusting behavior!"

The insults kept coming until Jasper appeared next to us. He looked furious. I'd never seen him so angry. Placing one hand on each of our shoulders, he glared at the students, and teachers—who didn't seem to care two of their students were being bullied.

I couldn't believe Jasper was actually standing up for us. He'd been afraid to do it for himself, but he was doing it for me. I'd been so blind not to see he loved me. He'd showed me in his every gesture.

"This behavior needs to stop immediately! You don't see us queers calling you straight people names or gagging at the sight of you holding hands or kissing."

The silence that had fallen when he joined us was replaced by loud murmurs at his confession. I realized no one knew he was gay.

"So, if anyone has a problem with Edward or Alec, I'd like you to think twice before saying something. Nobody's perfect. If they want to kiss, it's their choice."

"Jasper, you should keep the lecture for your sessions with them. Besides, their behavior is unacceptable. If they like men, they should at least keep it private," the Biology teacher said loudly.

I used to like him. Not anymore.

"Why is it unacceptable, Steve? Why hide what they are, who they are? I've seen plenty kids kissing tonight, and God knows doing what more in the bathrooms. You find it weird, even sick when two guys or two girls kiss. Well, we don't care when a straight couple kisses. It's because we understand and accept everyone for who they are; everyone is free to love who they want without being scared."

I wanted so badly to turn and hug him, and kiss him, and tell him how proud I was, but it would be inappropriate. I'd cause even more problems, so I kept my head down, fighting a smile.

Principal Bennett chose that moment to interfere by clearing his throat.

"Dr. Whitlock is right. Let's not judge someone over their preferences. Both Mr. Cullen and Mr. Lerman are talented, smart young men. They don't deserve your insults, just because you don't understand them. Now, shall we go back to our party? Soon, we'll be choosing the Homecoming King and Queen, then it's a wrap."

No one protested as they scattered around the room to vote and enjoy what was left of the night. Alec melted away in the crowd, but Jasper stood by my side, both hands on my shoulders now.

"You okay, Pretty Boy?"

I nodded, my mouth dry.

"I hope I didn't complicate your life more than it was, but I couldn't sit there and do nothing when these homophobic idiots—"

"It's not their fault, Jasper. If their parents are anything like mine…they learned from them."

"A smart person educates themselves without caring what others think, unless they think like sheep…following others mindlessly."

"They're stupid."

He smiled, squeezing my hand. "Duty calls." He nodded to the refreshment table where a fellow senior was trying to pour something from a bottle in the punch.

Everything was tense after that. Alec and I stayed away from the dance floor.

"I feel like a freak," he admitted from his slouched position in the chair. "And, wow, for the first time, I realized Jasper isn't that bad."

"It's okay not to like him. I mean, I know how weird this situation is." I gestured between us. "As for being a freak—that makes two of us."

Alec flashed a smile. "I was having fun."

"I know."

"Are you coming home after this is over?"

I looked over to where Jasper was busy with his chaperone job, keeping jocks from fighting and spiking the drinks. "I don't know," I answered honestly.

"What if you get caught?" He nudged my shoe with his.

"We won't."

Before he could express more concern for my relationship with Jasper, the principal called everyone's attention. It was time to announce the winners.

"This is so exciting!" Bella gushed, appearing at our table.

"Where have you been? You disappeared."

"Yeah, you missed our show," Alec mumbled, staring at the stage.

Bella lost her exuberance. "Did someone pick on one of you?"

"Both of us. We were dancing when everyone started calling us names," Alec said.

"Jasper took our side. It was pretty cool how he told off the Bio teacher." I grinned.

"He did? So people know about…" Bella trailed off, watching me curiously.

"Of course not! Are you crazy? He was only doing his job at keeping everything in order and protecting our rights."

She leaned closer, hugging me tightly, then Alec. "I'm sorry I wasn't here."

"Yeah, so where were you?"

Her whole face caught fire and a silly smile appeared on her face. "Do you know the new guy?"

I exchanged an amused look with Alec. "Did you make sure he's straight?" I snickered.

"Yup. Over and over." She bobbed her head, still smiling.

"Oh. My. God. Tell me all about it!" I was so happy for her.

"Look, there he is!" She pointed to the refreshment table at an average kinda guy. He was tall, slightly lanky, blond hair and a nice ass. I couldn't see his face well since he was focused on a guy he was talking to.

"Dylan?" Alec snorted. "I have him in English and Science."

"You do?" Bella was starry-eyed.

Too bad I only shared Gym with Alec, and with Bella only Bio and Math.

As they talked in hushed voices about Dylan, the principal ordered silence once again before opening the envelope in his hand. All the girls were on the edge of their seats, waiting with batted breath.

Principal Bennett frowned at the contents of the envelope. "This is a mistake." He called over his assistant, and after talking for a few short minutes, he returned to the microphone looking upset.

"Our homecoming King is Tyler Crowley!"

Everyone applauded as Tyler made his way to the stage, waving and bowing.

I was curious as to why it was a mistake. I knew Crowley's grades weren't stellar, but homecoming wasn't about how smart you were, unfortunately.

"And now…" Principal Bennett sighed. "First of all, I want you to know that announcing this is something I wished I'd never have to do. I promise you now, those who contributed at this sick decision will serve detention for the rest of the school year. Also, just because you decided to have fun at someone else's expense, I will start a new club on Monday. Presence will be mandatory for those responsible in choosing the Homecoming Queen."

My breath caught in my throat. I knew he was going to say one of our names.

"Alec Lerman!"

Alec jerked from his conversation with Bella, staring in shock at the principal.

My blood was boiling at how angry I was, and I respected the principal for his wise decision. Restraining my nerves, I helped Alec to his feet, straightening his tie. "Show them the queen in you, baby."

His blue eyes stared at me blankly before he blinked, seeming to snap out of his stupor. He walked with purpose to the stage, head held high. Taking the microphone, he plastered the fakest of smiles on his face.

"Thank you, guys! Now I feel so bad for not wearing my special sequin dress. I promise to wear it for Prom," Alec said in an airy, high-pitched voice. Then he turned to Tyler, who looked positively scared. "I guess it's customary for the King and Queen to dance. Show me how you rock, Tyler."

I clapped loudly, whistling. I had never been prouder of Alec.

He slapped everyone with their stupid decision to make him a queen. I hoped they'd learned their lesson, because this was war, and I wasn't going down without fighting for my rights.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See you all on Wednesday for the teaser and on Sunday for the update! ;)


	24. Chapter 24

_I can't light no more of your darkness_   
_All my pictures seem to fade to black and white_   
_I'm growing tired and time stands still before me_   
_Frozen here on the ladder of my life_

**George Michael & Elton John - Don't Let The Sun Go Down (On Me)**

The next morning, I found myself at a coffee house facing Mom. She held her latte, looking anywhere but at our surroundings. It was a bad decision to bring her to Liberty Avenue, but since Jasper had to meet with someone a block away, I thought we could have that much anticipated discussion there.

"How could you run away without at least letting me know you were alive?" She broke the silence about ten minutes after we sat down.

"Because Dad's an asshole and you're on his side."

"Our marriage never worked."

"So you stayed together for me."

"You're the reason we married, sweetie. We were so happy, and I can't tell if we could have had a great future, but then I got pregnant."

I gulped from my hot cocoa, mulling over her words. "So I ruined your lives. Now you're trying to ruin mine in revenge, or what? It's not my fault you got pregnant, or that I'm gay."

"Edward, I'm trying to understand you. I'm on your side."

"No, you're not! You hope this is a phase. If you accepted me, you'd not care we're surrounded by gays."

She sighed heavily. "This is all new to me."

"What do you know? It's new to me, too! I'm learning new things about myself every day! Jasper taught me a lot about being gay. Hell, even Alec's aunts helped me understand things better. They've been there for me through it all."

Her eyes widened. "Are you sick?"

"Of course. You'd hope I got AIDS and dropped dead."

"Don't say that!" she screamed, losing her composed self.

Everyone turned to look at us, and I wanted to melt away.

"Edward, don't be ridiculous. You're my baby boy. I never want you hurt, let alone… _dead_."

I didn't say anything, drinking more from my hot chocolate. I could tell she was sincere.

"Now, tell me in what matter these people helped you." And we were back to discreetly ignoring the fact that _these people_ were my friends, part of my life. I wanted to strangle her.

"Jane taught me how to ignore the losers at school or anywhere else, really—the ones who picked on me for no apparent reason other than that I'm gay. Throwing punches left and right doesn't make me a better person, besides, apparently queers don't punch. They slap, because they're thought to be weak sissies."

"Sweetie, I want you to come home. We'll deal with those hurting you. No one treats you like that without going unpunished."

"Are you going to punish Dad, too?" I raised an eyebrow.

"I discussed it with him, and he's amiable to having you return home."

Her words made me sick to my stomach.

It was time to test her limits, and figure out if I returned home, whether or not I'd have her by my side.

"Oh, and the thing Jasper taught me," I added in a matter of fact voice, smiling innocently, "It's something you didn't think of discussing with me when you thought I was straight."

"What's that?" Her eyes widened, dread apparent in them.

"He talked to me about gay sex and the responsibilities it implies. He taught me about loosening up the hole, wrapping the lollipop, rolling the balls—"

Mom held her hand up, looking green. I could tell there was disgust written all over her face, but she didn't comment on my statement. "I had no idea how to talk to you about the birds and the bees."

"There's no need for that, remember? I like cock." It was so much fun to make her squirm.

"Fine, fine. I get it."

"Do you? Do you really understand I like cock and I always will?"

"Edward!" she gasped, looking scandalized and embarrassed. "Why did you call to meet me?"

"Oh, right. Jasper says you should pay for my school."

"Carlisle said he'd pay when you come home."

"Is he bribing me? What's next? A car for playing the mayor's straight son?"

By the look on her face, I guessed correctly.

I didn't want a car so badly. I wasn't desperate.

"Okay. I'll drop out of school, since I refuse to let Jasper pay for it, and Dad can shove his money up his ass—might get a taste of my life."

"We'll pay for your education, sweetie. Don't worry. We want you to come home. Please. I want you," she begged, tears appearing in her eyes.

"Mom, it's not that easy. If Dad keeps saying shit or tries killing my boyfriend again, what happens then?"

"He won't. I'll make sure of it."

"What about his campaign's motto of saving the city and making it a healthy environment for the citizens? He doesn't need to say the words; we know he's talking about us." I waved around. "Ask anyone in here their opinion of him. I hope our voices will be heard louder and our vote for Samantha Walsh will be enough to save the city from Carlisle Cullen."

"He's your father!"

"He's a tyrant! He hates me and all fags! Look, this was a mistake." I got up, and without looking at her, stormed out of the coffee house.

To my surprise, she caught up with me before I could reach the corner of the street where I'd promised to meet Jasper. I was sure his meeting was over by then.

Mom grabbed my elbow turning me to face her. "Despite what you think, and the way I've been with you, it doesn't mean I don't love you. I never knew how to raise a child. I tried my best." Tears rolled down her cheeks, ruining her perfect make up.

"If you're going to say that your improper care turned me gay, save it. If you'd have smothered me, you'd have somehow made that turn me gay. Puh-lease!"

"No, I didn't mean it like that." She led me to a bench, taking my hands in hers. "I should have known. I should have seen it in the little things—your artistic inclinations, your sensitive nature, you preferring Bella to the boys who played ball…"

"Sports isn't my thing. Yeah, okay, I see your point. You were a shitty mom, but you've changed lately. Alec's parents took you to GLC and you understand me, right?"

"I've learned a lot there, and from them, God rest their souls."

I nodded somberly. "So, where does this leave us? I'm not coming home until Dad apologizes and promises to never insult me or my friends."

"I'll have a talk with him. Whatever happens, know we'll pay for your school and whatever else you need. Just call me, and I'll help you. We'll support you in whatever you choose to do in the future."

"I'm going to play for the opera if they call again, and there's still Juilliard. I'm going to send the application letter."

"I'm so proud of you!" She threw her arms around me, hugging me tightly. Suddenly she stiffened, making me wonder what caused her to react that way. I hoped it wasn't two guys kissing.

Thankfully, it was only Jasper. He appeared next to us, staring at me with his head cocked to the side, an eyebrow lifted.

"I thought you were abducted by aliens. Or less dramatic, seduced by some twink your age."

I groaned, rolling my eyes. "Highly impossible—both. I have to go," I told Mom, standing up. "Let me know what you decide."

"Of course, sweetie." She got up, too, looking at Jasper. "You take care of my boy, you hear me, Mr. Whitlock?"

Jasper pressed his lips together, probably restraining himself from saying some bad words. He chose to nod, then grabbed my elbow and steered me to his car.

"I don't have the whole day, Pretty Boy. I'm meeting Peter later to go to the gym. He's finally decided he wants to try exercising…when my subscription expired, a few months ago."

"Don't you have a stationary bike at home?"

"He's my best friend. He needs company and someone to keep him from jumping the hot guys. That privilege is mine."

"What about me?" I whined, turning to face him as we stopped next to his car.

"You stay at home and do your homework, and if you're extra good, I might take you to Rainbow. It's Measuring Wood night. Remember, our contribution to saving the club?" He winked.

"I'll be good, _Dad_."

He pushed me against the side of the car, glaring. "Don't call me that!"

**OoO**

Jasper returned around 9 pm from the gym. After a shower and dinner, we went to Rainbow.

It was the most anticipated night. Banners with the contest (which I helped create) were all over the city.

When we parked in the usual spot, I noticed the long line waiting to get inside the club.

"Ah, that's more like it!" Jasper exclaimed. "You're a little genius."

I blushed furiously, glad of the dim lights. "I have my moments. Though, we need to see if they'll come back tomorrow."

"They will. Now, I want you to stay by my side, or with Pete and Riley the whole time."

I scowled. "There goes my plan to compete and win." I flicked his ear.

"Not unless you're too attached to your dick. I'll cut it off if I see you near the stage."

I gulped, realizing how serious he was. "Then I have a rule of my own," I demanded, feeling brave.

"Do tell," Jasper drawled, leading the way toward the club.

I jutted my chin out. "You're not allowed near the winner or the other contestants. Scratch that. You're not allowed around anyone other than me—I'll be the only one you fuck tonight."

Jasper stared, and wrapped an arm around my neck. "And we'll do our own measuring when we get home," he said hotly in my ear.

"Who wins tops?" I mumbled before I could keep the words locked inside.

"In your dreams, Pretty Boy." He planted a wet kiss on my cheek.

At the bar, we met with Peter, Riley and Garrett. Riley sat on a stool, sipping from what looked like a glass of coke, but he brightened up when he saw me.

"My coke companion." He winked.

I leaned closer. "Did you say cock?"

My sassy behavior got me a slap behind my head from Jasper. He angled his body so his back was turned toward me, before motioning to the bartender, raising two fingers.

When the guy brought Jasper's double Jack, I gave him my order too, but he didn't seem to hear. I tried to get the man's attention, waving and shouting about my beer, but he didn't flinch. Pouting, I elbowed Jasper in the back.

"Ow." He turned to glare.

Like I hurt him. "Get me a beer."

"Get yourself a beer. I'm off to dance."

"Wait. I wan—"

He downed his drink and slapped the glass to the counter, giving me a look that clearly said he wanted to be alone…as alone as he could get in the club. I trusted him not to drag anyone to the Backroom. He'd promised.

"I can buy you a beer, but where would the fun be in that? You're on a soda diet tonight—like me," Riley said, reminding me he was right next to me.

"But make it a Diet Coke. I don't think the bartender likes me."

"You have jailbait written all over you," Peter said from my other side. "Hey, Buzz, a Diet Coke for the kid."

Buzz eyed me, amused, before offering me a glass of coke with a straw.

"Can you also pinch a few drops of…" I trailed off when he raised an eyebrow. "You can't? Okay. Just checking." I sipped my drink in an attempt to calm down.

He'd given me alcohol before, but that was when Jasper ordered.

"So, why no alcohol for you?" I asked Riley.

"They don't blend well with the meds. I'm feeling funny lately," he whispered, and glanced at Garrett.

"Oh, he doesn't know?"

"Oh, he does. He's taking me to the hospital for tests…so that's the actual reason why I'm not drinking."

"Well, I hope you're okay." I patted his arm. I couldn't even begin to understand the way he felt, what he was going through.

Soon, the contest started, and I had to admit all the guys competing were all kinds of hot. And damn, the measuring part was the best. Especially because I had Jasper by my side, and he kept rubbing my dick through my pants, telling me about some of the contestants. It didn't surprise me to hear he'd done them.

After the winner was announced, I excused myself to the toilet, hoping we'd go right home now that it was over.

When I stepped out of the bathroom, I heard a familiar groan coming from the entrance of the Backroom. Peeking that way, I saw Jasper leaning against the wall facing the open door, his fingers wrapped in the winner's hair as he knelt in front of my boyfriend.

I fisted my hands at my sides, stomping that way. I stopped behind the winner and shoved him away so hard he tumbled down. His surprised eyes found mine then he glared daggers for taking him away from Jasper.

"I was busy. Wait your turn!"

"Fuck off!" I yelled, before turning to Jasper.

He had the decency to look embarrassed, but I knew why he was feeling like that. No one dared ruin his tricking.

I tore my eyes from his to stare at his glistening dick, before looking at the winner who was still on the floor, obviously confused.

"I'm staying at Alec's tonight. Don't bother calling or coming over. By all means, enjoy the winner," I sneered, turning on my heel and leaving the place in tears.

I would never learn my lesson.

Technically, he wasn't fucking him, but blowing counted as fucking in my book. I was looking forward to our night, but he'd managed to ruin it yet again.

**OoO**

Most nights I found myself at Jasper's. Alec or Jane didn't comment on that—they only wanted to know whether to lock up or wait for me.

On a particular cold November night, I stormed out of Rainbow when Jasper suggested nonchalantly we bring home a trick. I didn't want to share him. I didn't want another man touching me.

If he needed someone else, so be it…away from my eyes.

When Jasper told me I was an idiot, and that he'd still take the trick home, proceeding to fondle the guy on the dance floor, I had it. I fled.

Outside the club, there was still a line, and in the far end of the alley I could see some guys were getting sucked. I idly wondered what had fascinated me about this in the beginning. Part of me still wanted to experience that, but with Jasper, not some stranger.

Walking to the main street, I realized I was stuck. He'd picked me up form Alec's to spend the weekend together. My Friday night was getting worse by the minute.

First, he arrived late and snapped at me when I asked nicely what held him up.

Second, once we arrived at the club, he downed a few shots before disappearing in the Backroom. When I'd made to follow, Peter stopped me, saying Jasper was in a foul mood. I could see that on my own.

When he finally rejoined us, much later, he looked happier. He kept an arm around my shoulders, drinking beer, chatting with Peter, dancing with me…and then he ruined everything by suggesting we have a threesome.

Not paying attention to where I was going, I collided with someone head first.

"Whoa! You okay?" the guy asked, steading me.

"Yeah, sorry." I rubbed my forehead, pushing my glasses back up my nose.

"Edward? Funny seeing you here!"

I frowned at the guy in front of me, trying to place him in my head. "Eric!" I exclaimed, remembering him from Pittsburgh Opera.

I'd played there twice more in the past month, but hadn't seen him.

"Need help getting in Rainbow?" he joked.

"Nah. I just left." I made to go, but Eric grabbed my hand.

"How about we go somewhere warm? There's a diner around the corner."

 _I know_ , I wanted to say, but only nodded. I was too upset at Jasper, and didn't want to snap at Eric for no apparent reason. He'd been nice enough to me in the past.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who wants to punch Edward's parents? Thoughts on Eric?
> 
> By the way, don't hate Jasper too much. He hasn't done anything with any of these guys, just so you know. He's been a very good boy.


	25. Chapter 25

_Take my hand, show no fear_   
_Look in my eyes it's perfectly clear_   
_I'll love you, and cover you_   
_Ask me to tell you what I wanna do_   
_I'll hide you away from danger_   
_Danger_   
_Danger_   
_Hide you, hide you._

**Kosheen – Hide U**

As Eric and I stepped into the diner, I was surprised how many customers were there at that late hour.

I noted with disappointment Tanya wasn't working, but seeing the other waiter, I knew immediately why Tanya spoke highly of her. Tanya was weird, which meant she liked weird.

Belinda was a tranny, talking a mile per minute and telling everyone who was listening about why she chose that particular name. I made the mistake to tell her Belinda was a nice name, which launched her into a mind-blowing explanation about her crush on Chris Norman. Apparently, he had a song by that name, and she was in love with him, thus choosing the name.

I nodded and smiled politely, then when she was off to bring our order, I turned to Eric. "Who the hell is Chris Norman?"

He gaped at me, and I felt like a total shit. Especially when he started laughing. Eventually, he explained who Chris Norman was, which made me feel even worse. I liked Smokie, but I had never searched about the members of the band.

"I know them. Well, a few songs, but yeah…"

"It's okay." He waved a hand around. "It's strange, you know? I've never sat down and chatted with someone so young. I'm impressed you know and like the kind of music you do, 'cause no offence, but you kids these days…" Eric shuddered.

I rolled my eyes. "I do play violin and piano—that should say something. Speaking of, Alistair called me a couple more times to play. You were never there."

He smiled, staring at me in a way that made me realize he was probably seeing me as a man for the first time. He wanted me, and it made me feel good. Besides Jasper, I'd been approached in the past by other guys, but I always thought of only Jasper and others didn't interest me. Maybe it was time to take a page out of his book.

"I got an opportunity at the beginning of September, and now I'm playing in Philly."

"Whoa! That's huge!" My eyes widened at the news. I'd always dreamt of playing for Philadelphia Orchestra.

"Actually, I'm back to find someone to play in a concert. It's a delicate job to find someone skilled."

"I'm sure you can find the one."

"I already did." He grinned.

"Amazing! Is it the older guy at the opera? Uh, Thomas…something? Or maybe—"

"You," Eric whispered, reaching across the table for my hand.

"Me?" I squeaked. My ears were deceiving me.

He nodded seriously, confirming I still had 20/20 hearing.

"But…what…I can't! I'm not that good."

"Of course you are, Edward!"

"What do you want me to play?" Maybe it was something easy.

"Just a little Paganini." He said it as if we were discussing my favorite food.

That was _huge_. Paganini was difficult. "Are you sure you want me? I bet they want someone more…experienced, more mature."

"They love new talents."

"Still…really? Me? Wow." He kept nodding. "When would this be?"

"Next week. We can go to my place right now and practice."

"Okay," I agreed, feeling like in a dream. It was too good to be true.

After finishing our warm drinks, we walked out of the diner. Eric explained he'd kept his place and it was close, near Rainbow, actually. We took the route back to the club, talking about Philly and what to expect from this new experience.

As we passed the mouth of the alley that led to Rainbow, a hand grabbed me by the jacket. Before I could scream, I came face to face with an angry Jasper.

"Where the fuck did you disappear to?" he spat.

It made me just as angry. He had no right to shout at me. I couldn't even read a trace of worry on his face, only pure anger.

"I ran into Eric—from the opera," I snapped, pointing to my companion. "We were on our way to his place. He wants me to go with him to Philadelphia, and play for the opera. Solo!"

Jasper turned his thundering dark eyes on Eric. "Fuck off!"

"No. _You_ fuck off!" I told him, trying to free my arm from his grasp. "I hoped you'd be happy for me!"

"Edward, how stupid are you?" He drawled out the words. "If he told you the moon was green, you'd believe him?"

"Of course not! But I know Eric, and he plays for Philadelphia Orchestra. They want a fresh, young face. And he thought of ME!"

"He wants your ass!" Jasper hissed. "Get lost before I call the cops!" He yelled at Eric, taking a few menacing steps toward him.

Eric didn't even look my way as he took off, scared.

I was about to run after him and apologize for Jasper's behavior, when the man in question grabbed me by jacket collar and dragged me inside the club. He didn't stop until we were deep into the Backroom.

Once away from an audience, he shoved me up against a wall, wrapping his large hand around my throat. His knee spread my legs and pushed into my groin. I wasn't sure whether to be scared or turned on. Jasper kissed me so hard I knew our lips would be bruised.

Suddenly, he turned me around, pressing my face into the wall.

"Do you like this?" he breathed into my ear, pushing his denim clad erection into my ass.

My whole body trembled. "Not really."

His fingers deftly unbuttoned my jeans, pushing inside and grabbing my dick. "What about this?" I could hear vileness in his voice.

"No. Stop it," I begged, truly scared.

He kept jerking me and pushing into me, then suddenly stopped. I thought it was over, but Jasper only pulled my pants down, along with my boxers. He pushed one finger into my ass, and I clenched around the intrusion. I'd never been scared of him—not even the first time we met.

His zipper moving down was awfully loud. His hard dick pushed between my cheeks, not penetrating, just enough to make me freeze and wonder if it was wise to scream for help. He'd never touched me there with his uncovered dick.

"Jasper, stop! What are you doing?" I wailed, trying to escape his grasp.

His forehead pressed against my shoulder, and his arms wrapped around my waist. Seconds later, he started sobbing.

I couldn't keep up with him. So I simply stood there frozen—my jacket askew, my pants around my ankles, and Jasper washing my back in his tears.

As if in slow motion, he turned me around and rearranged our clothes, before hugging me tightly, his nose burrowed into my hair.

"Don't," he rasped. "Don't you ever scare me like that again."

"Me, scare you? Here I thought it was the other way round," I managed.

"If something happened to you, too… I couldn't take it."

I realized he was talking about Eric. "Nothing was going to happen! But that doesn't matter. What got into you?"

Jasper pulled away enough to show me how serious he was. "You're so fucking naïve, Pretty Boy. That piece of shit was going to…take advantage of you. If he was honest about Philly, he'd have stood his ground and not fled like a coward."

My heart jumped in my throat. I'd been such an idiot.

"Jasper!" I cried, wrapping my arms around his neck. "I'm so sorry."

I understood his previous actions. He'd tried to show me what could have happened.

He kissed my temple. "You're okay. You're safe. Now, let's go home. I can't take any more drama for today."

"Wait. You said…if something happened to me, _too_. What does that mean? Did something happen to someone you know?"

Jasper stiffened, wiping snot with the back of his hand. He stared at me unblinking with an unreadable expression. When he finally spoke, his voice was lifeless. "Garrett called earlier. That's why I was late to pick you up. I met with him. When he started dating Riley, he dropped his case. Now, Rile's doc asked him to advise him on what to do about a patient not responding to the meds. Garrett's a smart guy, and he figured his fellow doc was talking about Riley." He sobbed, and it broke my heart. I'd never seen Jasper so vulnerable. "He told me because he has no idea how to tell Rile. I advised him not say anything until the doctor calls."

"What does that mean?"

"It means the fucking virus became resistant to the current treatment. He's been through so many already…"

"He'll be okay." I stroked his face. "Riley's strong."

"It will break him—such news. He'll think he's a burden to us and stop taking the meds…like the other times."

"Jasper…" I had no idea what to say. This situation was so serious, and it overwhelmed me. "Let Garrett handle this."

He winced as if I hurt him physically. "I can't. What is he to Rile? Pete and I have known him for years. We've been there though his breakdowns, his good times, his successes, his loses…"

"Jasper, Garrett is his boyfriend. Wouldn't you want to be there for me if I were in Riley's place? Or would you step back and allow Bella and Alec to stay with me?"

"Me!" he said in a raspy voice.

"See? Allow Garrett to do it. He'll ask for help if he needs it."

"When did you become so smart?"

"I've always been smart. You never noticed." I winked.

"It's hard to believe for someone so smart how stupid you were tonight. Jesus, Pretty Boy! If I wasn't out there looking for you… God forbid what that shit would have done!"

"My hero!" I tried to lighten the mood.

"Hardly a hero. Let's go."

We left the club wrapped around one another. I couldn't comprehend what had happened.

Jasper saved my life. He was scared for me. He was scared for Riley.

Sometimes, I wondered how he was still sane with all the worrying he did.

For the moment, I bathed in the care, and dare I think love, he showed me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Was Eric a surprise? Some of you thought he wasn't good news, but I'm sure this was a surprise for most of you.
> 
> As for Jasper...all I can say is Rome wasn't built in one day. He's showing Edward how much he cares for him through his every gesture and word.


	26. Chapter 26

_I know, the past will catch you up as you run faster_   
_I know, the last in line is always called a bastard_   
_I know, the past will catch you up as you run faster_   
_I know_   
_I know_

**Placebo – I Know**

“I still say you should send in more applications,” Bella said gently.

“It’s Juilliard or nothing. I have the grades, recommendations from Ms. Hale, Mr. Brown, and Mr. Pike—”

Bella gasped, interrupting my serious reasons for not applying to any other university.

“You met with Ms. Hale recently and didn’t tell me? That’s waste of good gossip, honey!”

“I had no idea you cared so much about her.” I shrugged.

“You know she’s my favorite gossip subject. By the way, did I tell you?” She bounced excitedly. “She came into the store the other week. I was covering for Dylan when he had his football practice.”

I tried not to snort. Dylan this, and Dylan that. She was so gone for him. “Do your parents even know about you two?”

“Only Mom. She forbade me to be in the same room with him alone.”

“Fair enough.” I winked, and she threw her pillow at me.

“You’re not one to judge, living with your boyfriend and all that.”

“I’m not! I still live at Alec's,” I reminded her, poking my tongue out. “But don’t change the subject. Tell me about Ms. Hale shopping on Liberty Ave.”

Her brown eyes lit up. “She was there with Emmett! I was so shocked!”

“You’re kidding, right? They’re still together? He was in that part of town?”

“I know, right? He was so changed, though. He listened to her every word, and never commented about the couple who decided to grace us with live, free porn at the frozen area.”

There were all kinds of crazy people out there. As much as I liked it when Jasper and I were together inside Rainbow, it was different when we were out in daylight. Public displays of affection weren’t exactly my thing—a kiss, or a long hug, sure, but no making out or bending over or who knows what else.

“Well, she can work miracles. I was hopeless at piano when I met her. I miss our lessons,” I mumbled, feeling nostalgic.

“I can’t believe you said that.”

I shrugged. “She was always nice to me. I don’t know why you didn’t like her. Anyway…what happened at the store? Did McCarty say something to you?”

“Nope. That’s the thing. He kept his head down, which is totally weird. “

“Odd.”

“Yeah.”

I had my suspicions about him ever since I found him at Ms. Hale’s last year. At first, I thought besides the obvious, he was actually a normal guy, and he probably took lessons with her, too. But then, after a few more encounters, his odd behavior made me question their relationship. A little research spooked me on crazy relationships where one partner controlled the other. It also nearly gave me hope about keeping him away from me. If school hadn’t ended when it did, I’d have probably gone to Ms. Hale and begged her to make him stay away from me and Alec.

We lapsed into silence, and I was grateful of the distraction. I wasn’t ready to talk to Bella about my reasons for choosing Juilliard. I’d already had that conversation with my mom.

If I caved—for whatever reason—and applied to PIFA, and got in…I’d never accomplish my dream.

Staying in Pittsburgh would be great; I’d have Jasper close, but New York had been my goal since I was little. Nothing should stay in between me and my desire to become a professional artist.

Though, I wasn’t sure I’d be able to follow that dream since my father was a royal pain in the ass.

Sadly, he’d won the election last week, and was already working on cleaning the city of fags. Surprise of all surprises, a politician keeping his word.

Of what Bella told me earlier, at least five stores had closed on Liberty Ave., and only because their owners were gay.

“Where did you go, just now?” Bella waved a hand in front of my eyes.

I sighed heavily. “Thinking of Dad.”

“I’m so sorry, Edward. I wish things were different.”

“Yeah, me too.”

“Do you think he’ll close Rainbow?”

My stomach sank at the thought of losing the place I met Jasper. “I sure as hell hope not. He’d have some angry queers coming at him.”

“I’d boycott by your side.” She nudged me with her foot.

I laughed, rolling on top of her and tickling her. She shrieked, kicking at me.

Bella was always an easy prey when it came to tickling. I had the upper hand being taller and with longer limbs.

Unfortunately, her mother chose that moment to interrupt us. And she wasn’t alone.

Bella sat up so fast, she tumbled out of the bed when she saw Dylan next to her mother. I flopped on my back, trying not to explode in mad laughter. I’d never seen her so flustered.

Dylan was watching the scene in front of him with large, confused brown eyes.

“I hope we didn’t interrupt anything,” Renee said, catching my eye.

I beamed at her, shaking my head and keeping my lips pressed together.

“Good. I’m off to the store. Your friend here dropped by. You kids, be good.”

“Bye!” Bella squeaked, bracing on the bed to get up.

With her mother gone, it was just the three of us, and I knew the awkward moment would go away, meaning I was the third wheel. I hoped Jasper would call already to tell me we could meet.

_Why did he have to go to the clinic on a Saturday?_

“Hi,” Bella greeted Dylan, attempting to smooth her hair down. It was too funny to see her interact with him.

I bet I wasn’t so silly around Jasper.

“Hey. If you’re busy…” He gestured between us.

“Don’t mind me. I’m waiting for a phone call.” I smiled, dismissing his worry with my hand.

“Well, still… I walked in on _something_.” He eyed us, obviously confused.

I was equally confused of why he was worried. Hadn’t Bella told him we were only friends? It was unlikely I suddenly grew feelings for her.

“We were discussing a project,” Bella explained.

We’d done that—hours ago.

“Really, Bella, you could have told me. I mean, anyone can see how close you two are.”

“What?” I interrupted Dylan’s objection. “Sorry, dude, but us—” I gestured between Bella and me “— _never_! Maybe you and me, if you bat for the other team too.” I smirked

He turned red, and averted his eyes.

Bella glared at me, whacking me in the head with her pillow. “Edward!”

“What? I think he should know your best friend is gay, don’t you? Unless, of course, he has a problem with that,” I added, raising an eyebrow. Maybe he had something against gay people, and that was why she didn’t tell him.

He shook his head as if getting rid of a fly, watching me with huge eyes. “I don’t mind that you’re…you know, into that. I’m a huge supporter. Everyone is free to be with whoever they want. Besides, I’m used to this—I work and live on Liberty Ave.”

I chuckled at his word diarrhea. “Fair enough. Well, if you don’t mind, I’ll stick around until I get a phone call. From my boyfriend,” I added as an afterthought.

To Bella’s annoyance, Dylan befriended me fast. We hadn’t really talked much in the past, but he was a cool guy, and I could see why my friend liked him so much. He was smart and down to earth, unlike the vast majority of our classmates.

Dylan seemed upset about his father’s girlfriend, muttering about how stupid she was. Bella gestured for me to keep my mouth, but I was curious.

“So your parents are divorced? You live with your dad?”

Bella groaned. Dylan shook his head, looking down at his lap.

“Uh, no. He brought me up alone. Mom left us when I was a toddler.”

“Oh, sorry. So, you’re close to your dad, then?”

“Yeah. He’s my best friend. It also helps that he’s young. You see, I was a mistake. He was a sophomore when he slept with the prom queen, a senior…my mother.”

“Holy shit.” I was sure my eyes were huge, but I never thought I’d meet an oops child—not this kind of oops child. I was one myself, but at least my parents were out of college when they had me.

“Yeah… When he finished high school, my mom left, so he had to take care of me. There’s been Grandma and Grandpa, but they passed away a few years ago. Anyway, Dad said he’d never fall in love again. He changes girlfriends every other month—it’s kind of annoying. His last one is the reason we moved here from Boston. She became clingy, and I think he was falling for her. Heck, even I liked her. She was the motherly type, even though she was only twenty-eight.”

His words made me question his dad’s age. “How old is your dad, exactly?” Because if my math was good, he was around thirty somewhere, which was crazy.

“Thirty-three,” Dylan answered promptly.

I gaped, frozen in shock. I could feel the blood draining from my face. His father was only a couple years older than my boyfriend.

“I know,” he added unperturbed. “I get that reaction a lot.”

I swallowed in an attempt to wet my patchy throat. I couldn’t breathe, and my hands started shaking.

For the first time since I’d met Jasper, I truly understood why everyone made such a big deal of our age difference.

“You okay, honey? Do you want some water?” Bella grabbed my hand, staring at me.

“Yeah,” I said mechanically. “No water. I’m good.”

My phone ringing made me jump. “Shit.” It was Jasper, exactly what I needed. After fumbling with the device, I managed to answer. “Hey, Jasper.”

“Hello, Pretty Boy! Ready? I’m around the corner.”

I wanted to say no, suddenly scared of what Dylan had said. Jasper was old enough to be my father.

“Yeah. Sure.” My voice shook.

“Everything okay?”

“I’ll tell you in a minute.”

We hung up, and Bella walked me out. She sensed I was distressed as she hugged me goodbye. “I’ve always supported your relationship with Jasper. You love him—that’s all that matters.”

“You’re right. Thanks.” I kissed her cheek, walking out of her house with a spring in my step.

I slid into Jasper’s car, grinning. “Did you miss me?”

We hadn’t seen each other in a whole week, except Wednesday at lunch when he came by our table to put a sandwich in front of me. It had made my heart double in speed, but before I could thank him, he was gone. His gesture proved he did care for me.

“Yes,” he answered, pulling me closer and kissing me deeply.

I got lost in the moment, like always. Jasper’s kisses fogged my brain.

“What’s the plan for tonight?” I asked after we separated.

“We’re headed to the bowling alley. Don’t say anything. Riley’s the only one who can convince me to do such stupid things.”

“I wasn’t going to say anything.” I shrugged, looking out the window as he started driving. “So, bowling? Is it something you like?”

We still had a lot to learn about each other. Just the other day I found out he absolutely hated striped socks and went as far as to make me throw mine away. If I didn’t find it cute, I’d have probably been angry. They were new.

“I detest it. And what I detest more is the old men there, laughing and pointing at you if you miss a shot.”

“Aw. Like they were born geniuses.”

“We’ll show them tonight who’s better. If you don’t like bowling, though, we can play pool.” He winked, tearing his eyes off the road to look at me.

“What about Riley? He invited you to bowl.”

“Hot doc will be there. He won’t notice if we make scarce.”

“Is Peter joining us, too?”

Jasper gave me a funny look, snorting. “It’s a couples’ night. Pete will be at Rainbow having fun with all the hot guys.”

My eyes widened. “You said couples!”

“I’m aware of what I just said. I’m not that old. I still remember what I said a moment ago. Even last week,” he added teasingly.

“No further than last week, though?” I teased back.

We were talking indirectly about his age, and it was me who wanted to avoid the subject. Dylan had truly got me thinking with his little story.

“Twat,” Jasper grumbled, grabbing my left ear and tugging at it gently.

“Hey!” I jerked my head away, laughing.

 


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Many, many thank yous to everyone who keeps reading and reviewing despite my lack of answering to you all. I'm trying, really, but every time something RL related comes up, or I get caught in writing other stories.
> 
> A BIG thank you goes to harrytwifan for helping me with this, and putting up with all my pestering. :)

 

_Audit me, however you may want_   
_I own a slang_   
_That you'll never pronounce_   
_Wild-child like you wouldn't know_

_Young reckless offspring_   
_That's out of control_   
_Blasting me up, up, up, I go_   
_Rebel, am I? Who me? Oh no_

**IIO – Rebel**

At the games center, Jasper and I were greeted by Riley and Garrett outside the building.

As of late, I ended up with Riley while Garrett "caught up" with Jasper on doctor stuff. I knew they were talking about Riley's health, and I could bet he knew as well.

"Anything new, kid?" Riley nudged me.

"School's school. You?"

"Did Jazz put you up to this?"

"Just asking…nothing else."

He eyed me suspiciously, before delving into a story about one of his clients and her crazy hairdo request.

We rented two pool tables since all the bowling alleys were occupied. Jasper paired up with me. As he organized the balls in the triangle, he caught my eye.

"He's responding well to the new treatment."

"You don't look happy," I noted, seeing a frown marring his beautiful face.

"Garrett said they gave him placebo."

It was my turn to frown. "What?" I couldn't understand what the band had to do with Riley's HIV treatment.

"The drug is new."

I stared at Jasper as he methodically placed the white ball near the left corner before shooting and breaking the triangle. The balls scattered all over the table, but none actually went in any pocket.

"I still don't get it," I insisted, walking to the cue ball. "What has Placebo to do with Riley's drugs?"

" _They_ are placebo," he explained slowly as if I was stupid.

I prepared for my shot, but felt his eyes on me. Then he was laughing, making me want to hide under the table. Okay, maybe I was stupid, but no need to mock me.

"Don't tell me you've never heard the term."

"No, I haven't. So instead of being an asshole, you can explain." I took my sudden annoyance out on the balls, hitting a solid one so hard I managed to put it in the lower corner pocket, along with two other balls in different pockets.

Riley applauded from the other table, making me wonder if he'd heard our conversation. Seeing his huge smile, I sighed in relief. I shrugged, smiling back.

Jasper walked to me, leaning closer so I'd be the only one to hear him. "Placebo is a medicine that cures you for the moment, but it isn't the real drug. It's a demo, if you will. I don't know how to explain it to you in non-medical terms."

"The demo explanation works. I get it now. So he's okay, but we're not sure if he'll stay okay."

He nodded, resting his elbow on the tip of the cue. "In a nutshell. Still your turn." Jasper gestured to the table.

We continued playing in relative silence. He kept tsking about my missed shots, or potting his balls. The first shot had been a miracle, apparently.

I gritted my teeth when I pocketed one of his balls again.

"Fuck, your balls are in my way!" I snapped, glaring at Jasper.

Everything became quiet around us, before everyone started laughing. Jasper spanked me with his cue playfully.

I wanted the ground to open and swallow me whole. I'd never been so mortified.

"Sweetie, and that's what _he_ said!" Riley joked from his table.

"Can we move to bowling? Maybe I won't make a fool of myself there," I mumbled to Jasper.

"Let's finish this game, Pretty Boy. It's my turn, right?" He dropped a kiss on my forehead on his way to the cue ball. "Thank you, by the way. You're helping me win."

"I suck at this." I dug my toe in the linoleum.

He pressed into my side, letting me feel how hard he was. "We can find something for you to suck _on_ if that's what you want."

I turned even redder. "Can you teach me?" I pointed to the table, trying to distract him and myself. I didn't want to leave so soon.

"Sure thing."

Jasper rearranged the balls in the initial position, then gestured for me to break them. I bent over the table, and before I could hit the cue ball, he stepped behind me. My stomach muscles clenched at his closeness and the way his dick pressed into my ass, his harsh breathing into my ear.

"There, Edward. You need to hold the cue like this." He moved my hands and fingers in the correct position, then together we broke the triangle. The hit was so hard, all the balls rolled around on the green table top. To my horror and mortification, the black one approached a pocket.

"No, no, no. Stop. Stop," I chanted, but it still fell in.

Jasper clapped me on the back, bursting out laughing. "It must be a record, Pretty Boy."

"Like I said—I suck."

He raised an eyebrow in challenge. "Like I said," he drawled, grabbing me by the hoops of my jeans, "the bathroom is that way." He pointed his cue in its direction.

I bit my lip, unsure, before thinking, _Fuck it!_ We weren't going to play pool, and all the bowling alleys were still busy.

After putting my cue on the table, I took his and placed it next to mine, intertwining our fingers and leading him to the men's room.

"Naughty, naughty!" Riley called after us.

"You wish you were as cool as us! Your uptight doc won't fuck you anywhere besides a bed!" Jasper called over his shoulder.

"That was so rude," I muttered as we stepped into the bathroom.

"Well, he had it coming."

"Is it true? He's never fucked outside a bed?" I kind of felt bad for Riley.

"I doubt it. Have you seen the doc? I don't have a problem with Garrett, don't get me wrong—he's just so crisp and uptight all the time." Jasper opened a stall door and pushed me inside. "Enough about their sex life. Let's do something about _our_ sex life." He winked.

I wasn't sure what he wanted to do in that small, encased space. Besides, I didn't have good memories about us and public bathrooms.

Jasper unzipped his pants and pulled out his dick, cocking his head to the side as he watched me through his half-closed lids. "Whatcha waiting for? An invitation?"

"The floor is dirty," I pointed out, staring at the murky tile. It made my stomach turn.

"You must be joking."

I shook my head. "Can't we fuck?" Though, I was afraid to touch anything in that stall, even the walls or door.

"I tell you what you do—you're going to either kneel on the dirty floor, or bend at the waist like a good cocksucker, but either way you're going to suck me."

"And if I say no?"

"But you won't. No one says no to me."

"I do now." I held my head high, maintaining eye-contact. It was such a turn on to see his sky blue eyes turn stormy.

"Pretty Boy, don't tease. Just fucking do something. Put toilet paper on the floor if it makes you feel better, but suck me already."

I couldn't help but laugh at how impatient he was.

In the end, I listened to his advice and spread most of the toilet paper on the floor before kneeling on it. He smiled down at me, combing his fingers through my hair.

"Now open your mouth, cover your teeth, and suck."

I immediately did as told, eliciting a loud groan from him. As I moved my head, I could hear the noises I was making with my sucking, but I didn't care. We were alone, and Jasper seemed to get off on my sounds—always.

When he was on the brink of his orgasm, and I was rubbing my dick through the denim, the bathroom door opened. I froze, almost forgetting about my teeth and being careful. We could be seen through the gap at the bottom of the door, and I bet the scene was pretty clear for anyone watching.

"Keep sucking," Jasper rasped.

I doubled my efforts, trying hard not to think of the guy pissing a few feet away. He seemed to take ages washing his hands and drying them under the warm air blower, before finally leaving.

Jasper started making short gasping sounds, and the second we were alone, he moaned so loud I was sure the whole place knew someone got an amazing release.

The timing wasn't impeccable, though; which meant he'd managed to come over my face, spunk dribbling down my chin.

"God," he breathed, helping me up. "You look prettier now, covered in my cum."

"I bet," I grumbled, not finding it funny. I ripped off the last of the toilet paper and cleaned my face. "Shit. You got some on my shirt. Come _on_ , Jasper."

"You should be worried about the wet spot on the front of your pants."

I was such an idiot. I should have undone them.

"Aw, no hiding." He raised my chin, leaning to kiss me. "You are beautiful, you know that?"

"I am?"

"Yes, Edward. I usually throw compliments left and right when I want an ass, but with you, I mean it."

I smiled shyly. "You too. I still think you look like a god," I blurted.

He pinched my nose. "Now, you're making me blush."

I grinned, bringing his head closer for another earth-shaking kiss.

Our couples' night wasn't such a disaster. It was turning out pretty amazing.

We had a wonderful time with our friends. After rejoining them, we moved to bowling. Despite Jasper's protests that he was horrible at bowling, we won.

It might have helped that Garrett missed all his shots. Not surprisingly, Riley wasn't upset with their failure, encouraging his partner the next time he'd do better. I seriously doubted there was yet hope for Garrett to learn how to play this sport.

As we walked down the sidewalk to the cars—them in front of us—I stared at Riley. I couldn't even begin to imagine how he felt. If it hurt him, or he didn't feel well, he didn't show it. Despite his flamboyant personality and overall cheerfulness, he was truly an amazing, strong man.

"You're quiet," Jasper said, keeping his arm around my neck.

I shrugged, not ready to start talking. I'd tried pushing the conversation with Dylan to the back of my head, but it kept resurfacing now in the quiet night. We had to hash it out, before it drove me crazy.

"Wanna head to Rainbow?" Riley asked over his shoulder.

Jasper glanced at me, before shaking his head. "Nah. You go. Have fun!"

"Are you okay? It's barely ten."

"I'm tired, Rile. You two go."

I appreciated he thought of me, but being alone scared me. I dreaded our conversation. Part of me wanted to say I wanted to go to Rainbow, but another part of me wanted to kiss Jasper in a silent thank you. The latter part won the battle, and I stopped walking, turning to him and kissing him passionately in the middle of the street.

Sadly, we weren't in our safe heaven—Liberty Ave. I could hear at least five different curses thrown at us.

Jasper turned to glare at the last person muttering about our gross act.

"Shut the fuck up, or I'll give you a reason to keep your mouth shut—filled with cock!"

The middle age man blanched, hurrying along with his girlfriend.

"That's all you can do. Threats over threats, but you never have the courage to act on your words."

My muscles tensed, and a shiver ran down my spine at the sound of my father's voice. I hadn't seen him in weeks.

Jasper spun around and narrowed his eyes at my dad, his hand clenching on the back of my neck. I realized it was his way of staying balanced, keeping his hand on me and clenching, as if I was his rock. "So, you say I should respond with violence to violence? Is that what you want, _Mayor_?"

"I want you dead! Along with all your faggot friends!" Dad yelled, making my stomach squeeze in fear. I knew he meant every word.

Jasper stood his ground. "One of my faggot friends is your son. Is that really what you want?"

Dad glanced at me, disgusted, before meeting Jasper's eyes. "I don't have a son."

My eyes and throat burned. I bit hard on my lip to keep from crying like some little faggot and prove Dad right. His words hurt so much, I couldn't even breathe.

"You fucking bastard!" Jasper charged at Dad, but I grabbed the back of his jacket.

"Don't! You'll get arrested!"

"Scared, see?" Dad sneered.

"He's not scared! No one is scared of you. We hate you more than you hate us!" I spat. "And if you plan on closing any more establishments on Liberty Avenue, you'll see how angry we can get!"

Dad looked at me surprised. "When are you going to understand? I won. I'm Mayor. I can do anything now."

"If you want to do everyone a favor, then clean the streets of the whores, make sure everyone is safe if they go home late at night," I yelled.

"I'm getting there." His eyes never left Jasper's. "I'm going to make this child molester and all like him pay so you can return home and forget whatever ideas he put in your head."

"I'm _never_ coming home!"

In that moment, I remembered we were on the sidewalk with a crowd gathered around us. No one had dared jump in to help when we were verbally abused. Sadly, even our friends—Riley and Garrett—were there, clinging to each other and watching.

As if reading my mind, Jasper grabbed my hand. "Show's over, people! We should allow the Mayor to return to his problems." He pulled me after him toward our friends.

I squeezed his hand to show him how grateful I was he stood by me. Sighing loudly, he draped his arm over my shoulders and leaned closer, his breath fanning over my cheek. Whatever he wanted to say was lost to Riley's loud cry. The next second, Jasper was lying at me feet and behind me, my father was lowering his hand.

I fell to my knees, ignoring the pain radiating from them at the impact with the asphalt. "Jasper!" I hugged his unconscious body to my chest. "No!" I turned my head to glare at Dad. "What the fuck is wrong with you? You're the coward! Striking from behind!" I sobbed into Jasper's hair.

Garrett joined me, checking Jasper's vitals. I noticed he was on the phone, probably with the hospital.

My hands shook in anger as I rose and advanced to Dad, pushing him backwards with all my force. He'd hurt my boyfriend, and he was going to pay. I didn't give a damn he was my father or the Mayor – he hurt someone I loved.

He stumbled, but didn't fall, watching me with cold blue eyes.

"I hate you! I fucking hate you!"

"Edward, when are you going to understand he's using you? Just get over this phase!"

"Dad, you get over yourself and grow a brain! I'm queer! I like dick! I love Jasper! It's as simple as that."

He stared, probably understanding for the first time that this was who I was.

"Edward, sweetie, we're taking Jazz to the hospital," Riley said from behind me, putting a hand on my shoulder.

With one last venomous look at my father, I walked to where Garrett had managed to wake my boyfriend. He looked dazed, a trickle of blood running down his face.

I wasn't even sure what actually happened. Dad probably pushed Jasper and he fell, hitting his head. I took his face in my hands, staring into his cloudy blue eyes. "Love you," I whispered, hugging him tightly.

He squeezed back, pressing his cheek to the side of my neck. "Me too, Pretty Boy."

I gasped, pulling back enough to meet his eyes. It was the closest he'd come to saying the words to me.

The ambulance must have arrived during our reunion, because an EMT pried Jasper from my arms and walked him to the car, asking questions.

I was surprised to see the police there, too. They were going to arrest my father.

My happiness was short lived when the cops came to me. I wrenched away from them, but they grabbed me firmly. They read my rights, and the reason why I was arrested—for attacking the Mayor.

The man in question watched away from the whole scene, looking satisfied. What kind of sick parent gets his child arrested?

I was glad Jasper was already in the ambulance with Garrett and wouldn't see me being hauled away by the police. Though, Riley was there, by my side, promising to bail me out as soon as possible. Knowing my father, he'd make the bail insanely high, even though I had a clean record.

On the way to the cruiser, we passed Dad, and I couldn't help myself.

"You know what, _Dad_? You're dead to me, too!"

"Did you hear that, officer? He threatened me again."

I ground my teeth, swallowing back the curses I wanted to throw at him.

In the back of the police car, on the way to the station, I let the anguished tears fall.

The next few hours of my life were the most terrifying and agonizingly long. I was pushed into a cell with ten other creepers. At least five of them hit on me, and two of them grabbed my ass. I sat in a corner, hugging my knees and hoping they'd forget about me.

My mind wandered off to what ifs—like Jasper and I going to his house and talking about what ate at me since Dylan mentioned it. At the moment, everything seemed silly and childish compared to the way the night ended.

I was arrested. I tried to stay strong and not think too much of where I was, but the other inhabitants of the cell kept calling me names, making me stay alert in case they decided to do anything.

Somehow, I'd managed to doze off, for probably five minutes, when I heard the metal door opening and my name being called. I jumped to my feet and was out of there as if my tail was on fire.

On the way to the front of the station, I wondered who'd come to bail me out. Riley? Garrett? Bella? Alec? Mom? The possibilities were many, but never in a million years I'd have guessed Jasper.

My eyes widened when I saw him, leaning casually against the counter, examining his nails. He had a band aid over his left eyebrow, and his white shirt was torn and splatted with blood.

"Pretty Boy!" He engulfed me in his arms, sighing in relief. "I'm sorry you had to wait so long. I nearly killed everyone at the hospital when I found out you weren't there. Then Rile arrived with the bad news. I stayed for as long as the nurses could keep me, then I took a cab here."

Jasper never babbled, which meant he'd been nervous and worried about me.

"Thank you." It was all I could say. I was shocked, tired, and scared. "Take me home."

He smiled crookedly. Waving goodbye to the officers, he bent to kiss me in front of them, then we left hand in hand.

We walked to where he'd left the car, and I drove to his house.

Once inside, he led the way to the bedroom, stripping to our boxers and sliding under the covers. Only in that moment, I relaxed, feeling safe in his embrace. My tears fell freely, and soon I was full sobbing into his shoulder. The events of the night caught up with me.

Jasper stroked my back, kissing my head and not saying anything. His presence was enough.

Eventually, I managed to pull myself together and reached to his nightstand for a tissue.

"Feeling better, _darling_?"

I snorted at the term of endearment, and he chuckled, rubbing my cheek with his thumb.

"A little. I'm a crappy boyfriend. I didn't even ask how's your head."

"I'll live. Your dad seems to love giving me concussions. I see a pattern here."

"No. Don't say that. God, I can't believe what he did."

"Well, I can."

"We must do something. This is not normal. Okay, I get it. Some people hate us, but he has the power in this war. It scares me," I admitted.

"I'll protect you, Pretty Boy," he whispered into my hair. It made me shiver, knowing he actually meant the words.

"What about the others?"

"There's nothing we can do."

"There is! It's our city, too. We should feel safe here."

"Edward, why don't we sleep? We can continue the plan of taking over Pittsburgh in the morning."

I laughed, settling better on his chest. "Sure. I'm glad you're okay."

I felt him smile, before he fell asleep almost instantly. He must have been tired.

Even though I was equally tired, it took me ages to fall asleep.

All that mattered for the moment was Jasper and I were still together and stronger than before. It took him getting hurt to admit his feelings to me—to my face, not my back.

I stifled a smile, imaging the moment he'd actually say the three little words looking into my eyes. I'd probably faint.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case you didn't know, I posted two outtakes under the story title The Rainbow - Outtakes. They're both JPOV.
> 
> For those who read them, I'm sure Jasper's persona makes a lot more sense now.


	28. Chapter 28

_I wanna have your babies_   
_It's serious like crazy_   
_I wanna have your babies_   
_I see 'em springing up like daisies_

**Natasha Bedingfield – I Wanna Have Your Babies**

I woke up to the glorious sound of Jasper laughing. He wasn't even in the room, but somewhere downstairs. Still, his loud laughter was the best noise to hear in the morning.

I wondered if he was watching TV or what made him so happy. Jasper rarely let his emotions show.

Curiously, I made my way downstairs. I stopped around the corner from the living room, hearing a woman's voice, followed by more chuckles from Jasper.

"It's not funny!" she whined.

"It actually is," he told her, trying not to laugh.

"I just told you a horrible experience of bumping into that creep of janitor and having the misfortune of feeling his dick brush against me on my way out of that stupid small room we call archives!" The woman sounded really distressed, but it was funny.

I had to bite hard on my lip to keep from joining Jasper in his new round of laughter.

"If I told you a joke, you wouldn't have laughed!" she grumbled.

"Because you don't know how to tell jokes, Alice. Your face betrays you and you start laughing before the end of the joke."

"Jerk."

Alice. I remembered her from the clinic. I should have guessed. How many female friends could Jasper have, really?

When I was about to make my presence known, she spoke again, keeping me rooted in place.

"So your jailbait is upstairs?"

"Yes, he's sleeping. We had some unfortunate events last night."

She giggled, making me wonder what could be so funny about our truly horrible night. But then again, she didn't know. "For you, unfortunate would be not being able to get it up."

There was a choking noise coming from Jasper, but before I could make the mistake to reveal myself to them, he seemed to get a grip of himself. "Hush! That would be…I have no words. There are not enough bad words in the thesaurus to describe that, Alice!"

"Stop being a drama queen. So what happened?"

"We ran into the fucking mayor, who happens to be Edward's dad."

"Oh, no."

"Oh, yes. I'd rather not rehash it. Anyway, you came here to discuss something. Or was that about the janitor having a boner for you? Everyone can see the way he looks at you."

"Jasper, can you be serious for a minute?"

"I'm always serious."

"I want a baby," Alice told him softly, making my eyebrows shoot up.

"With the janitor?"

"No! _Jesus_."

"Well, you came to the wrong place then. The church is…actually, I have no idea where it is, but I'm sure you can find it."

"Jasper, I've been thinking about this a lot. Can you be serious for five minutes?" There was a pause, and he must have nodded. "Good. I thought of all my guy friends, and you won."

"I won? What's the prize?" I could hear the smile in his voice, but I had a bad feeling about what Alice wanted to say.

"I need your sperm."

He choked again, and this time I couldn't stay hidden any longer. Jasper's eyes widened further than they were when he saw me in the doorway.

"One shock at a time, please. My heart can't take it."

I realized too late I was naked, except my boxers…which were tented. Fuck.

"Hi, Edward!" Alice waved, smiling brightly.

"Hi," I mumbled, sitting next to Jasper and placing a cushion on my lap.

This was so embarrassing.

Jasper leaned into me, nudging my jaw with his nose, before twisting his head and kissing my mouth—deep, wet and hungry. I forgot about the visitor in the room until she cleared her throat.

"You said you needed my sperm. I'm killing two birds with the same stone so to speak," Jasper answered nonchalantly.

"That proves me wrong. I thought you were more mature than that. I might rethink this," she grumbled.

"Call me when your drugs wear off."

"I'm not joking, Whitlock! I want a baby, and you're going to help me!"

Jasper stopped kissing along my jaw, and turned his attention to her. "You're actually serious. Do I look like father material to you? Get yourself a boyfriend and make a baby."

"That will be a waste of time. I'm not lucky in love. We know that. And I want this. I need this. Please, Jazzy."

"Don't call me Jazzy! Jesus, Alice. Why me?" He rested his head on the back of the couch.

"You're my best friend, and I trust you more than anyone else. You're smart, handsome, blond—imagine a mini-you."

He cringed. "I'd rather not."

I could imagine a mini-Jasper, and he was adorable. Maybe Alice's proposition wasn't that crazy.

"Don't you want kids?" I asked Jasper. He turned his head turn to me and cracked an eye open.

"Did you miss the memo that I'm gay? I must be doing something wrong."

"I mean, don't you _ever_ want kids? Look, Alice is offering…"

"Are you trying to talk me into this insanity, Pretty Boy? Is the world conspiring against me?"

"Look, think about it. But I want an answer soon," Alice told him sternly.

"Fine, I'll think about it. By the way, what do I get from this deal?"

"Besides paying a monthly allowance, if you want you can be involved with raising him or her."

Jasper shuddered. "A baby. Fuck, Alice. Tell me this is a joke."

She looked so heartbroken, seeing he still thought it was a silly joke.

"He's in shock, but he'll come around. Give him a few days," I told her.

"Well, then I'll leave you two do whatever you do… See you on Monday!"

"Which is tomorrow," Jasper pointed out, scrubbing his face with his palm. "Show our guest out." He elbowed me in the ribs.

I followed Alice to the front door, thinking of her proposition. "He could be a good dad," I whispered.

She giggled, turning to me. "Don't let him hear you say that."

I sighed heavily. "Are you sure you want this? I doubt he'll change his mind."

Alice smirked, pinching my cheek. "Jasper has already agreed to help me, but he doesn't know it yet. Don't push him, though."

"Oh, okay." I was confused, but before I could ask how was she so sure he'd agree, Jasper called my name. "Well, bye, uh…Alice."

"Yes, it's okay. Call me Alice. Bye."

Closing the door after her, I took a deep breath and went back to Jasper. I found him lounged on the couch, head turned toward the TV, flipping aimlessly through the channels.

"You're back." He grinned, pointing the spot at his feet with his toe. "Sit."

I planted my ass on the couch, slouching. "So what are we doing today?"

He kept clicking away, settling on something for a few moments before going to the next channel.

"Did you hear me?" I poked at his leg.

Jasper jabbed his toe in my side, making me moan in pain. "I heard you, but I refuse to answer stupid questions."

"So what? Do I have to read your mind now to know what plans we have?"

"If you could read minds and were smart enough, you wouldn't have come back for more."

 _Not this again._ I scowled, folding my arms across my chest.

"Don't pout. It's not nice."

I huffed, exasperated. "Are we seriously going to sit here all day? At least settle on one channel!"

"Why settle when there's a variety?"

"You talking about TV or your tricks?" I bit back.

Jasper chuckled, finally looking at me. He curled his fingers as in a claw and almost purred. "There's the little tiger."

I rolled my eyes, getting up and stomping to the stairs.

"Where do you think you're going?" he shouted.

"To get dressed and go to Bella's. I'm bored."

"Get your bubble butt back here this instant! You're not leaving!"

I could hear he was getting agitated. I lingered outside the living room door, waiting to see what he'd do.

Would he go as far as to beg me to stay?

"Edward!" Jasper shouted so loud my ears hurt.

Deciding it was smart to keep the beast tamed, I walked back to the couch. He relaxed instantly when he saw me. As I sat down, his right foot landed on my lap and started moving over the length of my dick.

"Don't try pulling that on me again! See? Even your cock agrees. It would miss me."

I bit back a moan as he rubbed me faster. "I could leave it here for you to play with," I joked.

"I'd rather have the whole package." His foot twisted in a way that made me shoot. Fuck. That was my favorite pair of boxers. "Aww, did you cream yourself?"

"Why don't you try holding when someone rubs you insistently?" I barked, pushing back embarrassment.

"I can hold it, Pretty Boy," he drawled, wriggling his toes and making me groan. "I outgrew my teenage stage."

His confidence made me crawl between his legs, lying on top of him. He raised a brow, stifling a smile. I sneaked a hand between us, cupping his erection through his sweats. I squeezed him hard, making his mouth go slack.

 _Who's laughing now, honey?_ I smirked. Resting my whole weight on top of him, I pressed the heel of my palm against his dick and started rubbing.

"Holy fuck!"

I smiled widely, enjoying the way his eyes crossed before rolling back. His head tipped back, giving me access to his throat where I nibbled. I stopped at his ear, biting gently, which made him shudder.

"Are you going to jizz in your pants like a teenager?" I teased, blowing into his ear.

"Fuck, Edward." Jasper grabbed my wrist as if trying to stop me, but I wasn't deterred.

I intertwined our fingers and moved both his hands above his head, rubbing my groin against his.

"Fuck. Fuck. You're going to make me come."

"That's the point!"

The moment he lost the battle of resisting was when he met my thrusts so wildly, he nearly threw me off him. I planted my knees more firmly on either side of his hips, sitting directly on top of him and rubbing my ass over his dick. It took exactly three strokes to feel him twitch and wetness covering my inner thigh.

My job was done.

I beamed, releasing his hands and kissing him passionately. I could feel him shaking under me.

Damn, must have been a hell of an orgasm.

Jasper wrapped his arms around my back and pulled me close, breathing harshly in my ear.

Minutes ticked by before he moved, and that was an accident—his foot slipped from the edge of the couch, landing with a muted thud on the floor.

"Ow," he mumbled, nuzzling behind my ear.

I laughed. "So? How do you feel now?"

He met my eyes, his shining with mirth. "Sticky. I say it's time for a shower."

"Can you get up?" I stood, taking his hand and trying to pull him on his feet.

"You killed me."

"Nope. Just gave you the best orgasm of your life." I pulled at his hand with both mine until he was finally standing.

We looked at the wet spot on his gray sweats. He twisted his mouth, frowning. "This was my last clean pair. And I have to go to the gym tomorrow."

"Didn't you hear? It's clothing is optional season."

"You know what cheeky boys get?" He stepped closer until we were toe to toe and nose to nose.

"Shower sex?" I asked hopefully, running my hands through his hair.

"A good spanking." His hand landed swiftly on my ass, making me jump.

I wasn't sure if it was supposed to hurt, because I actually leaked in my boxers. I stumbled into him, and I knew he could feel how aroused I was.

"But you'd like that, so we must find another punishment. How about no sex for the twink?"

"You can't resist half an hour without my ass," I said confidently.

"There's always Rainbow."

"Driving with a boner? I bet it's not fun."

He cocked his head to the side as if considering my words. "You win, but just because it's Sunday and I'm tired. I'd rather stay here than drive all the way to Rainbow."

"And you have my ass here." I turned around, wriggling said ass.

"You're still getting spanked, but now I need a shower."

In the bathroom, I found myself facing the wall, my cheek pressed against the cold tile while Jasper knelt behind me, eating my ass. I clawed at the wall, but my fingers slipped as I moaned and moaned.

I'd attempted to rim only once—it was Alec, and he said it was okay, but not something he liked. I must have done it wrong, because good God, the things Jasper made me feel when he rimmed me…they didn't compare to the best fuck we ever had.

When he finally deemed me ready, I was about to lose my head. Bracing with a hand on my shoulder, Jasper slammed into me. I had no idea who groaned louder.

His chest collided with me, sending me flush against the wall. One of his hands grabbed my dick and tugged while pumping fast and hard into me. His face burrowed into my wet hair, and short gasps escaped him when I clamped down on him.

I wasn't sure, but we might have come at the same time. The part I was certain of was Jasper whispering my name so softly and tenderly in my ear – a complete contrast to the rough fuck.

He turned me around in his arms, smoothing my hair out of my eyes, and pressed his forehead against me. He gulped convulsively as if fighting back something…whatever was eating at him.

I had no idea what made him so…emotional. It wasn't like him to be like this.

His azure eyes caught me under their spell.

"I love you," he said, never blinking.

My heart stopped for a fraction of second. Butterflies erupted in my stomach. My legs and hands shook, and I got woozy like I was going to faint.

Maybe I heard wrong, but his eyes reflected his words.

"What?"

Jasper frowned, pulling away and breaking the magical moment. "I just told you what you've waited to hear for months, and you say 'what'?"

"Sorry!" I took his face in my hands. "I'm just…. Shit." My hands shook so hard I was kinda moving his head. He could tell how shocked and moved I was.

"Maybe this wasn't such a good idea, after all," he mumbled.

I was such an idiot!

When Jasper finally grew the balls to admit his feelings to me, I screwed up his declaration.

I stroked his cheek, bringing his head closer so I could kiss him. "I love you, too, Jasper. I love you."

He smiled against my lips.

A while later, we were on his bed, lying side by side—he'd carried me there from the bathroom and made love to me.

I brushed his fingers with mine before placing my hand over his on the bed. "Can I ask something?"

"I felt like it, okay? I don't want to talk about it."

I rolled on my side to stare at him. "You felt like it?"

He scrunched his eyes shut. "I thought people didn't need a special moment to say it. I thought you'd be happy to hear it. I thought it would make this feeling in my stomach go away. It's like I feel sick, but I don't actually. It's always present when I think of you, and it intensifies when you're around."

I couldn't help but laugh. I knew I shouldn't, but of course Jasper had to declare his love to me in his own unique way.

"So I make you sick, but not really?" I teased, draping my body on top of his, still chuckling.

"Don't you feel the same? Isn't that love? Did I mistake it with a common cold?"

"Oh my God, Jasper!" Tears sprang in my eyes as I laughed harder. "Only you'd say something like that."

"Can you stop laughing and be serious for a minute? I might be sick."

I tilted my head so our eyes met. "You're not sick, you silly man! You're in love. You're in love with _me_!" I squealed with glee, not even caring it made me look silly.

"Maybe not right now when you act like a princess," he murmured, tracing my cheek with the back of his hand. "But most of the time, yes… I love you."

I couldn't get enough of it.

"Say it again. Louder. Shout it."

"No."

I pouted.

"Let's not abuse it. Come here." He brought me closer, kissing me softly.

After a while, I settled on his chest, grinning like a lunatic. Before I could fall asleep, I heard him talking.

"Do you really think I'd make a good dad?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts? See? I promised Jasper is growing up. He's slowly figuring out what he's feeling for Edward is the real deal.


	29. Chapter 29

_Love is in the air_   
_Everywhere I look around_   
_Love is in the air_   
_Every sight and every sound_   
_And I don't know if I'm being foolish_   
_Don't know if I'm being wise_   
_But it's something that I must believe in_   
_And it's there when I look in your eyes_

**John Paul Young – Love Is In The Air**

"We need to talk at lunch," I told both Bella and Alec when I found them Monday morning at my locker. Alec leaned his shoulders against the locker next to mine, hands deep in his pockets. Bella stood in front of him, arms folded across her chest, looking murderous.

"I called you! A lot. You never answered."

"Yeah, well… I had an eventful weekend after I last saw you."

"I was worried. After what Dylan said… Did you talk to Jasper about that?"

"What's going on? What did I miss?" Alec frowned.

"Lunch. We'll talk at lunch," I insisted.

The first few classes passed quickly, and when the bell rang announcing the lunch break, I was the first out of the classroom.

I was a jittery mess.

I had no idea what to tell my friends first—the wonderful couples' evening spent with Garrett and Riley, my father ruining it, Alice's wish, or Jasper saying the magic words. I wanted to shout them all at the same time, but I knew I had to patiently explain everything.

Alec was already at our table, trying to open his soda can. I sat next to him, taking the can from him and opening quickly without spraying myself.

"I could have done it."

"Sure, but what are friends for?" I bumped his shoulder.

"So, what were you and Bella talking about?"

"Oh, it's nothing. I was just being silly. While I was waiting for Jasper on Saturday evening, Dylan dropped by her house and he mentioned his father."

"Oh. So?"

"He's around Jasper's age. It freaked me out, but then I remembered all the reasons I loved Jasper…all through the weekend."

"You started without me!" Bella sat opposite us, smiling brightly.

I noticed her lip-gloss was spread, and couldn't help but point it out. She turned scarlet and discreetly wiped her mouth.

Grinning, I started my story. "Okay, so we had a couples' evening where we played pool and bowled with Riley and Garrett." I decided to leave out our bathroom trip; no need for them to know about it.

"Did you win?" Bella asked.

"I sucked at pool. We played against them at bowling and won, only because Garrett missed all his shots." I laughed at the memory. We had such a good time.

"I've never bowled," Alec mumbled. "Dad used to play when he was younger. He promised to take me, but we never got around to it."

"We'll go bowling. Next weekend," I promised.

It broke my heart to see him sad, thinking of his parents.

"All perfect so far. What else happened?" Bella asked.

"The place is downtown…so we were surrounded by homophobes." I sighed, looking at my hands on my lap. "If I think about it now, I have no idea what he was doing there, but as we left… Jasper and I kissed. People started insulting us." I swallowed thickly, meeting my friends' eyes. "Dad was there."

"Your dad!" Bella covered her mouth with her hands.

"Yeah, and we got in a huge fight—nothing new. Then he pushed Jasper from behind like a fucking coward. He fell, and—fuck." My hands shook violently, but Alec covered them, looking at me with sympathy in his kind, blue eyes. "He's okay. Garrett called an ambulance, and they took him to the hospital. But that's not all."

"You're scaring me." Bella looked green.

"Dad got me arrested because _I_ assaulted him. He all but said I was dead to him and he doesn't have a son."

"You were arrested? For real?" Alec stared in shock.

"Yeah, but Jasper bailed me out. Anyway, I thought that was the end of our adventures."

"Don't tell me your dad came after you!"

"No, Bella. That's a closed subject, and if we have the misfortune to meet again, I'll punch him so hard he'll have a reason to get me arrested."

"Don't get in trouble because of him," Alec whispered, squeezing my hands.

I smiled gratefully. "Well, the next surprise of the weekend was Alice. She works with Jasper at the clinic, and she dropped by yesterday."

"Did she catch you while you were…you know?" Bella giggled.

"No! Jeez. We don't do _that_ all the time, you know?" I rolled my eyes at how silly Bella was.

"You don't?" She gasped, before laughing.

I scowled, but before I could retort, Alec interrupted our banter. "What did this Alice want?"

"Right. She wants to have a baby."

"Well, they're friends. She came over to tell him she's pregnant," Bella reasoned.

"Didn't you hear me? She wants to have a baby—Jasper's baby, to be exact. She said he's the perfect candidate."

"Wow. I thought he wasn't into chicks. Cuz if he is…"

"You're talking about my boyfriend. And if he agrees, he'll whack off in a cup."

"I can't see him as a father," Alec said after a few minutes.

"I can." I smiled at the image that'd been running through my head ever since Alice mentioned her wish of having Jasper's baby. I couldn't stop thinking of a little golden haired boy with bright blue eyes running around. He'd be so beautiful. "He'd be amazing. You guys have no idea how sweet he can be. Which brings us to the best news!" I almost squealed again, like when Jasper had told me the words.

"What else happened? Did he decide to take you on a trip to the moon? It's like we haven't talked in weeks, not a mere day!"

I chuckled, shaking my head at her moon comment. I also made a point to drop Alec's hand and grab my soda.

"Jasper said he loves me." I beamed at them.

They didn't move, staring at me blankly.

"Did you hear me? He finally said it!"

Bella caught Alec's eye. "Check if he has a fever. He's delirious."

"No, I don't! You need to understand. It's true. It happened. He actually said it. A couple of times, too!"

Neither of them looked happy. It made me angry. I'd hoped they'd be as happy as me.

"You can pretend to be happy for me," I grumbled.

"You mean…he actually said he loves you? Like 'I love you, Edward'?" Alec blinked slowly.

"Yes!"

"I'm soooo haaaaappy for youuu!" Bella lunged over the table to hug me, knocking my drink on my lap.

This was the reaction I was waiting for, but minus the mess on my crotch.

"Shit, Bella."

She giggled, sitting back down in her chair. "Tell us, Edward. How did the miracle happen? When did he say it?"

Alec handed me a few paper tissues, smirking. "I can't believe it. I thought he'd never change."

"I did. I believed in him from the beginning. As for when he said it, Bella, well….let's leave it at when he was really happy." I grinned. "Oh, look. He's here!"

Jasper stepped into the cafeteria and looked around. His azure eyes found mine, then narrowed into slits. He marched to our table making me shrink in my chair.

Shit. He was pissed at me for some unknown reason.

His palms slapped on top of the table, making me jump.

"You're in so much trouble!"

"What did I do?"

He titled his head to the ceiling, pointing a long finger to his exposed throat.

Holy shit.

I'd left hickeys. Many of them.

"Sorry?" I threw him a smile, glancing nervously at my friends. They seemed fascinated by the book Alec had on the table. _Thanks for nothing, my dear so-called-friends._

I got up on shaky legs, unsure how to proceed. "Can we talk in your office?" I addressed Jasper, biting my lip.

I wasn't sure if he was angry, or merely teasing me, or enjoying making me squirm.

His eyes zeroed to my groin, and a half smirk appeared on his face. "I know you're happy to see me, but not that happy."

"It's soda! Don't be an ass," I muttered. "See you in class," I said over my shoulder to Alec and Bella.

Jasper and I walked side by side, not touching, on the way to his office. It was excruciating. I wanted nothing more than to hold his hand, or push him into the wall and kiss him until I got dizzy.

Once in his office, Jasper closed and locked the door, pushing me into the wall—like in my daydream. His mouth collided with mine—hungry, demanding, wet.

I kissed him back, just as vigorously, threading my hands through his hair.

"Am I forgiven for the hickeys?" I panted against his lips when we separated.

"Not yet. It was so embarrassing. I was in the men's room, and George stopped next to me to wash his hands. He said something about 'Your lady marking you' and laughed. He fucking laughed, Pretty Boy."

"Did you remind him you're gay?" I knew my science teacher was kind of slow.

"Oh, yes. He looked scared and fled the room. The important thing is…I've never been so….humiliated in my life."

"Excuse me? It's just a love bite, or two," I added with a laugh.

"Or a dozen! I hate them. You don't get to mark me as yours. I'm a person."

"I have a sudden urge to mark your face with the print of my fist. Purple will look good on you."

"Edward, no marking."

"I didn't mean it. Believe me. Besides, you weren't complaining when it happened."

"When you touch my dick, I cease to think rationally."

"Good to know." I grabbed his half hard dick through his pants.

He moaned, walking me backwards to the couch. I pushed him down, before kneeling between his legs. I opened his pants, taking him out and licking my lips.

"God." Jasper's hands moved my head closer. "Suck."

I complied, taking the tip in my mouth, while rubbing his length with my hands in a steady rhythm until he shot down my throat. As he tucked himself back in his pants, kissing me hungrily, there was a knock on his door.

"Fuck." He gave me a panicked look.

"See who it is. I was visiting you 'cause I have issues."

"You _do_ have issues." Jasper barked a laugh, and unlocked the door.

The principal stepped into his office. He gave Jasper a confused look, probably wondering why the door was locked, then he saw me. I was lying on the couch, tugging my shirt over my crotch. Besides my obvious boner, my jeans were still wet from the soda.

"I need to talk to you about Roger," Principal Bennett told Jasper seriously.

"Mark, Roger is my patient. I can't disclose any information."

"It's important." The principal glanced at me before focusing back on Jasper. I guessed he couldn't say more because of me.

I tried to remember who this Roger was. Probably a freshman, because I didn't know him.

Jasper sighed. "Can I come to you later? I'm in the middle of a session here." He pointed to me.

"Oh, of course. Hope everything's okay, Mr. Cullen."

"Great," I answered. _Leave already, before I burst a nut!_

"When you're done with Mr. Cullen, stop by my office."

He left, and Jasper closed the door after him. He turned, leaning his shoulders against the door, smirking.

"Still hard?"

"Always."

"I don't doubt that. I remember being a teenager. Everything makes you hard."

"Can we stop talking about what makes me hard and concentrate on making me come?"

Chuckling, Jasper approached and sat next to me, pulling me out of my jeans and giving me an amazing hand job.

The bell rang loudly as Jasper licked at his hand, looking at me _that_ way—the way that made me want to jump him.

He helped me up, smoothing my hair out of my eyes and kissing me soundly. "Now, go straight to class. Don't linger in the hallways."

I rolled my eyes, but laughed at his parental tone. "Yes, father."

He grabbed my chin painfully hard. "What have we talked about that? I'm not your father. Now, off you go."

"Can we leave together?" I asked. "When school's over?"

"I'm meeting Pete. We're headed to the gym, so no. Go, spend some time with your friends. I hear midterms are approaching."

"I really hate you sometimes."

He grinned at me, pecking my mouth, and rested his forehead against mine. "I really love you sometimes."

My stomach did a somersault. I couldn't get used to him saying the words.

I almost skipped on the way to my class. Bella had saved me a seat, and I sank in it, smiling.

"You look like the cat that swallowed the canary."

I giggled. "You're right about one thing."

"In his office!" She was horrified.

"Yup."

"You have no shame."

I blushed, but didn't deny it. I liked to think we were in the honeymoon stage now that he admitted his feelings to me. We were allowed to do it wherever we wanted.

"So any plans for tonight?" I asked.

"Yes, actually. I'm going out with Dylan."

"Well, then it's just me and Alec."

"What, Jasper already kick you out?"

"He has plans with Peter." I leaned on the back legs of my chair as the teacher stepped into the classroom. "By the way, he said it again…so casually."

"God, Edward. You've got it sooo bad!"

"Just wait. I'll mock you too when you start fawning over Dylan."

"I won't fawn. Can love really make you crazy?"

I gave her a confused look. "You have no idea how… _high_ you can feel."

"Quiet back there!" The teacher called, catching my eye.

I pressed my lips together, slouching in my seat. Bella patted my head, giggling.


	30. Chapter 30

_Baby you know that_   
_Maybe it's time for miracles_   
_Cause I ain't giving up on love_   
_You know that_   
_Maybe it's time for miracles_   
_Cause I ain't giving up on love_   
_No I ain't giving up on us_

**Adam Lambert –** **Time For Miracles**

Alec and I must have been dropped on our heads as babies. We chose the coldest fucking day in December to walk in the park.

One hour into our adventure, I couldn't feel my legs and hands. Alec looked as frozen as I felt.

We decided to head back to his car and find a place that served warm beverages.

He dropped the keys a few times before managing to unlock the car. Once inside, he turned on the engine and blasted hot air.

"This tops all the bad ideas you've ever had," he muttered, blowing warm air into his curled hands. "Fuck, Edward. I can't feel my fingers. How am I supposed to drive?"

"I offered you my gloves," I reminded him, wriggling my fingers in front of the fan. "I can drive if you want."

"No. I'm not getting out of the car again."

"We can exchange places."

A lot of shuffling later and bumping into the gearshift, steering wheel, and ceiling, I was in the driver's seat and Alec was curled in the passenger seat, rocking.

"I'm never going to warm up. I feel like an iceberg."

"It wasn't so cold earlier."

"It's evening now, Edward. It's colder in the evening."

After school let out, we'd gone to his house and did our homework, then I suggested we go to the park. It was nearing six o'clock when we left, and the temp was dropping. Now, at almost eight, it was downright freezing.

"So now there's no chance your dad will buy you a car, huh?" He commented as I pulled out of the parking lot.

"That ship sailed long ago, Alec. I'm still worried about college. If they don't pay it…"

"What about scholarship?"

"I don't think it will work. I called Ms. Hale last week to ask if there was a contest like last year, but she said I missed it. Then I called Mr. Brown to see if he could help, and he said he'd call me to let me know. He has friends in New York."

"I hope this works for you. I know how much you want it."

"What about you? You never told me what you wanted."

Alec chuckled. "Cuz I don't know myself. Sophie is pushing me to get a business degree, but it's not something I really want. It's all Auntie's fault. She told me I should do what I always wanted, always liked. Then she gave me you as an example."

"Really?" I glanced at him, surprised.

"Yeah."

"So what do you want?"

He looked away, turning red. "It's stupid. It's a kid's dream, not easy to achieve. Besides, I don't want that anymore. I think."

"You're babbling, sweetie. Just say it."

"When I was younger, I wanted to play on Broadway. You can go ahead and laugh."

"Why would I laugh? I'm encouraging you to do it." I took his hand. "We can go to New York together. Won't that be fun?"

"Oh, yeah. I actually entertained this ridiculous thought last year. But then…well, you're with Jasper."

"Yeah, so?"

"What do you mean, _yeah so_?" He hissed. "It will only hurt…"

I parked in front of the diner, seeing it was almost empty. Leaving the engine on idle to keep us warm, I turned to face my friend. "Does this hurt? Us, being friends?"

I had no idea he felt like this.

"Not really. Sometimes. Edward, I still like you. I can't just wipe my feelings for you."

 _Like me?_ He still loved me, and I was an idiot.

"Alec, I'm sorry."

"Don't say that. Don't be sorry." He cupped my cheek and leaned closer, pressing our foreheads together. "I'd never change anything. Our friendship is everything to me."

"For me, too," I whispered, hugging him. "How about we get in and have some hot cocoa? I'm still cold." I nodded to the diner.

"Yeah, I'm still freezing. I'll hold you responsible if I get sick."

I laughed, shutting down the engine and opening the door. The cold wind immediately cut my breath.

We hurried inside, pushing our way through the door. Alec won, stumbling in first.

We made our way to the corner booth. I sat near the wall, not attempting to take anything off yet. The mere thought of taking my gloves or scarf off made me shiver.

"Well, well, well. Look who's here." Tanya appeared at our table.

"Hi!" I waved. "Two hot cocoas."

"Is someone cold?"

"Uh, yeah. Really cold."

She looked at Alec for a few moments before raising an eyebrow. Gah, why did she have to be so perceptive?

"Have you met my friend, Alec? We must have dropped by only on Belinda's shift." I'd made sure Tanya wasn't there every time Alec and I visited Bella at work, and obviously stopped by the diner across the street. I knew Tanya had seen me with Jasper, and I wanted to avoid explanations, even though Alec was only my friend.

"Oh, right. Belinda mentioned seeing you." She nodded. "She said you were with a cutie. I thought she was talking about Jasper."

I pursed my lips. I really didn't want to talk about Jasper, especially after Alec's confession in the car.

"Can you bring us the drinks, please? We're really cold." I begged her with my eyes to drop it.

"You know her?" Alec asked when we were alone.

"Since I was little. I used to come here with Bella."

"You mean your parents were okay with you being here? What if these visits turned you gay?" He mock-shuddered, and I burst out laughing.

"Oh, God! I doubt she knew I was here. Mom, I mean. She knew I was with Bella's parents, and they took care of me."

He shook his head, chewing on his lips. "I have no idea how you lived with them for so long. Seriously, it must have been…"

I shrugged. "I got used to it. It wasn't like I could change anything. Thankfully, I met some amazing people…" I winked. "Like you, Bella, your parents, your aunts…"

Alec cocked his head to the side. "You can say it, you know. I don't mind. Jasper. He helped you too. He and his friends."

"Well, yes."

"Here you go, my dears. With a side of aspirin, just so I don't have you two on my conscience." Tanya placed our mugs on the table along with two pills.

"You're the best!" I beamed at her. I remembered how she used to take care of me and Bella, always hovering when we visited.

She pinched my cheek. "I expect a healthy tip."

I slapped her hand away. "Now, you're no fun."

"Where's my schnitzel, Tanya?" one of the patrons inquired loudly.

"Still mooing," she answered.

It was a Tanya classic when asked about food being delayed.

The guy who asked was definitely new, because he looked freaked. Like Alec.

"Take your pills. I'll bring you something to eat, too." She tapped a long, red nail on the table before walking toward the kitchen.

"What the hell? Do they keep live stock in the back?"

"Alec!" I snorted. "It's a joke."

"Oh, well, I knew that." He blushed, refusing to look at me.

"It's okay, really. You need to almost live here to understand her jokes. See, Tanya's not bad. She brought us aspirin, and she'll bring us free food."

"Was that a joke about the tip, too?"

"I think so." After a pause, I raised an eyebrow, the curiosity getting the best of me. "So Broadway?"

Alec blushed and ducked his head. "I shouldn't have told you that."

"Of course, you should have! A long time ago, too!"

"It's not something I still want."

"Alec, don't give up on your dream. People usually become what they wanted since they were little."

"Oh really? Then everyone should be a doctor or fireman." He scowled.

"I mean, the other people...like us...the ones who looked outside the box. Even though, I bet Bella doesn't want to be a ballerina anymore. She barely can walk on a flat surface without twisting her ankle."

"You're so mean."

"I'm not, just stating the truth. Anyway, don't change the subject."

He sighed heavily, drinking from his hot cocoa before starting to talk. "I was five. Dad used to play Bob Dylan a lot. I loved _Blowin' In The Wind_ and started humming along...until Mom declared I had a great voice. She signed me up at this talent contest for kids." He shook his head, looking aggravated. "We used to live in this small town in Utah up until I was seven and we came to Pittsburgh for Dad's job. Anyway, I think I won the jury because I was this cute little kid who played Dylan."

"We'd have been best friends if we met back then. The odd ones out." I laughed. Everyone was awed that a child liked Bach, Chopin, and Paganini instead of a ball or toy cars.

"We still are the odd ones out," Alec pointed out, giving me an amused look.

"You know what I mean. Anyway. You won that thing. What next?"

"Nothing." He shrugged. "I didn't take one hour of music classes. I told you—it's a dream. Just a dream. A stupid dream."

"But I heard you singing."

"Don't try talking me into this. I know it's late and I should choose something. I did send an application to the local college."

I tried not to look disappointed. For a second, I envisioned my life in New York. Alec was my roommate and we'd have lots of fun.

"Why? Is it because of me? You can't be around me?" I had to know.

"Don't be ridiculous, Edward. I'm here. I told you, it's okay."

"It's okay?" I eyed him skeptically. "Alec, you know you can tell me anything. I won't be upset."

He grabbed my hands across the table and squeezed. "To be your best friend for the rest of my life, or to lose you forever? What do you think I choose?"

"But it hurts you," I insisted, my stomach twisting uncomfortably. I could see how much he loved me, and the sacrifices he made to stay friends. It blew me away.

"Let me choose that for myself. There was a time when I thought you were an idiot for pinning after Jasper, and I wanted you to see we could have been perfect together."

_Fuck. Here we go._

"But then…" He gulped, taking a shaky breath. "Then I saw Jasper and how he acted around you. He was in denial, and it was so funny, and yet so sad, to see how he tried to keep you away, but the more he tried, the deeper he fell. And today." Alec cupped my cheek. "Today showed me saying the words does change everything. I've never seen you so happy. And Jasper?" He chuckled. "Even though he tried to act mad at you for leaving hickeys, he couldn't wipe that silly smile off his face."

When Alec brushed his thumb across my cheek, I realized I was crying. "How...how can you be like this? Shit, Alec. I hurt you at every turn, yet you take it all."

Cocking his head to the side, he blinked, and I noticed his eyes were wet, too. "I love you."

It was as simple as that.

And it made me round the table, sit down, and give him the biggest hug ever. We sat wrapped in each other's arms until someone cleared their throat above us.

I disentangled from him so quickly I nearly fell out of the booth. My heart slammed against my ribcage, not settling even when I saw it was only Tanya.

Fuck.

If Jasper had walked in on that moment, I'd probably have blown all my chances, or made him so angry he'd have punched my friend.

 _Friend_ … I couldn't even find the right word to describe Alec. He was...an angel.

"I brought burgers, but don't let me interrupt," Tanya said softly, though there was an undertone in her voice. Always the one against cheating. Not like I was pro-cheating, but being with Jasper had changed my opinion on a lot of things.

I didn't move from next to Alec. We discussed mid-terms as we chewed on the burgers.

"I can tutor you in Math, if you help me with Social Studies." I nudged him, when he whined that he couldn't understand trigonometry.

"You don't know Government Law?"

"Sorry to disappoint you, but I never had political discussions with my father. Scratch that. I never had a discussion with him, unless it was him screaming at me for whatever reason."

"It must be hard. I can't imagine having such parents."

"And I can't imagine having normal parents. Let's go back to tutoring each other."

"What do I get in return?" he asked, smirking.

"I take you bowling. I promised. What do I get?" I fluttered my eyelashes, making both of us laugh.

"Well, I don't know. What do you want?"

This was my opportunity. I seized it and threw it back at him. "I want you to apply to a college in New York. We can be roommates."

His blue eyes widened, and I could see the panic in them. "It should be something for you."

"It is." I grinned. "Please, Alec."

"You know I'll fail the test just so I don't win, right?" I hoped he was joking.

"We're talking about mid-terms. Look. We need to pass them. Say, if we get A, we win."

"Deal." He beamed, shaking my hand. I could tell he'd make sure to get a B just to irk me.

Alec shifted in his seat, frowning.

"What?" I asked, not sure what got him nervous suddenly.

He looked toward the counter. Tanya was running around as always. "You see that guy?" he finally said. "Don't look!" He freaked when I craned my neck.

"Jeez. How am I supposed to see him?"

"Just be subtle. The one in the red hoodie."

I tried to be subtle, but my eyes locked with the guy's, and he looked away quickly. Oops.

He didn't look bad at all. I could tell he was tall and lean, but enough muscles to bulge through his hoodie; he had curly brown hair and his eyes were dark. I'd never seen such a deep shade of black.

"What about him?" I turned to Alec.

"Are you done eye-fucking him? You have a boyfriend!"

"I didn't eye-fuck him. You told me to look. I did."

"Well, now he thinks you're interested. Shit, Edward. He's looking again."

I laughed. "I think he's looking at you, sweets. So, smile."

"You crazy?" He looked positively terrified.

"He won't bite. You have my blessing to date. Actually, it will make me really happy."

"Edward…. SHIT." Alec squeezed my knee under the table. "He's coming this way. Fuck. Do something."

"If you think I'm going to kiss you, you're mistaken."

The guy stopped at our table, his eyes on Alec. I tried not to laugh at how white my friend had turned.

"Hi, handsome," the guy said.

I nudged Alec with my boot. _Say something, you idiot!_

"OW!" He shot me a dirty look. "Hi, uh, hello. Hi."

I wanted to bang my head against the table, or throw it back and laugh. He wasn't usually this nervous.

"Is this seat taken?" The guy gestured to my previous seat.

"Nope. All yours." I grinned, making Alec step on my foot. It was my turn to yelp in pain.

"You're not… I don't want to…" Mr. Curls said, mostly looking at Alec. I could tell he was undressing him at the moment.

"Uh, we...no… Edward and I...just friends."

"Good. I'd hate to have to steal you from him." Mr. Curls was one confident fucker.

"No stealing. I'm available. I mean single."

I stifled my smile, busying myself with drinking from my cold mug.

"I'm Felix. You are?"

"Alec—Alexander."

That did it. I snorted; my now cold cocoa flying out my nose. "Sorry. Don't mine me," I choked out, dabbing my face with a napkin.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Mr. Curls a.k.a. Felix asked.

"Yup. Totally." I nodded.

My phone vibrated in my pocket—the perfect excuse to get up and go somewhere where I could laugh in peace. I walked to the back of the diner and fell into an empty booth, answering my phone.

"Hey." I tried to sound serious, but I couldn't. My eyes were on Alec and Felix.

Felix kept talking confidently, and Alec, red as a tomato, stuttered out incoherent words.

"Oh, you're in a good mood. Then you won't be upset for cancelling our plans," Jasper answered.

That piece of information sobered me up. "What? No!"

"It's already late. And to tell you the truth, I'm famished, so after finding a place open to eat, I'm going home to fall asleep for a week. Peter made me run ten miles. Fucking ten miles. He wanted to compete with one of the new guys who, by the way, looked like a weight lifter and could probably run a hundred miles without wanting to take his spleen out."

"Holy shit."

"Yeah." I heard loud voices from his side, then him talking outside the phone. "No fucking way. I'm dropping out."

It made me laugh.

"Don't laugh, Pretty Boy. I know what we do when you come by my place. I'll take you to the treadmill and you run fifty miles. Faster and faster until you fall off and want to die."

"Don't be a drama queen." I rolled my eyes. "You said you're hungry?"

"Starving."

"I'm at the diner."

"Are you asking me out? If you pay, I might say yes."

"Oh, yeah. From the money you gave me this morning."

"Fuck off, Pete. See you in ten minutes tops, Pretty Boy. Make sure you order me the greasiest thing in there. I think I earned myself the right to eat a bomb of grease."

"Is greasiest a word?"

"Now it is, if it wasn't before." He hung up, leaving me amused and annoyed.

I thought we were over the hanging up part. Maybe he was avoiding saying the words. Like I'd make him say it all the time.

I walked over to Tanya, leaning my elbows on the top of the counter. "What greasy stuff do you have around?"

"I thought you understood you couldn't get fat. As many burgers and fries as you've eaten, you're still thin."

"Not for me. Jasper's coming, and his friend kind of drained him at the gym."

"Oh, I see. I know just the right thing." She winked.

"Careful, okay? He'll bite my head if it's too much."

"I know what queens like him like to eat, hon."

I laughed, because she was right. He was such a queen, even though he'd never admit it. When it came to the way he looked and what he ate, Jasper was really picky.

"Now, go back to your booth. Don't hover," Tanya admonished.

"See, Alec's busy?" I threw my thumb over my shoulder. "I think he's got a hot date soon."

She glanced that way then met my eyes. "Felix?"

I was worried at the look on her face. She looked between shocked and scared. Though, I wasn't sure if it was the good or bad kind.

"Why? Do I have to save him? Is he a rapist or something?"

She snorted. "Hon, Felix is...like your Jasper. But worse. You two sure know how to pick your men."

My eyes widened. "What? No. Tell me, you're joking. Alec can't take that."

"Then go over and interrupt them, though by the looks of it, they're having fun."

I looked over my shoulder to see them leaning over the table, deep in discussion. Alec seemed captivated by what Felix was telling him. If Tanya was right, and Felix was like Jasper, he'd play with Alec's mind and make him agree with whatever he wanted.

I sat at the counter and stared, wondering what the fuck should I do. Alec couldn't be with someone like Felix. I knew as much. If that man broke my friend's heart, I'd introduce him to my fist.

A strong arm wrapped around my neck, and I jumped and shouted in surprise. Then I was assaulted by Jasper's scent mixed with sweat as he kissed my cheek wetly.

"Who are you trying to kill with your mind power?"

I laughed nervously, meeting his eyes. "You know that guy? Felix?"

He looked the way I was pointing, then scowled. "Yup. It took him only one night to understand Rainbow wasn't big enough for both of us. He retreated to the new club that tried stealing Rainbow's show a while ago. It didn't work. As you know."

"So, he's like you?" I asked, fear gripping my insides.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Jasper sat on the stool next to mine, raising a brow.

"Well...you know what I mean. Like... _fine_. Like you used to be," I rectified, because it was true. He hadn't tricked in a while—that I knew of. "Is he a player?"

Jasper glanced toward Felix, a thoughtful look on his face. "Oh, I see." He smirked. "You're worried for your friend."

"Just tell me if I need to stop them before it's too late."

"Hypocrite much, Edward?"

"You don't get it! Alec can't be with someone like him. I hurt him on a daily basis by just being his friend, and if that Felix hurts him, too… No."

"Of course. You're the only one allowed to break his heart. You love him, too."

There it was—that word.

I looked away, because it was the truth. I did love Alec, but I was _in love_ with Jasper. I hoped he knew as much.

"I love you more," I whispered, leaning into his side and resting my head on his shoulder.

"I know. Let him have a shot at happiness. Who knows? Maybe he'll tame Felix."

"Like I tamed you?"

"Don't get your hopes up," he mumbled, kissing the top of my head.

My mouth dried. I kept my eyes on his bouncing knee. "What did you do?" I felt sick and foolish. I'd hoped he'd stop, but no. Of course, not. This was Jasper. I bet he had no idea how not to trick.

"Would you believe me if I told you I didn't even have to try?"

"Do you ever?"

"Edward, I was in the locker room and he kind of came over me. It was only a blow job."

"You could have said no."

Jasper tensed, and his leg bounced faster.

"Of course, that would have made you lose your macho card."

"Edw—Pretty Boy." Jasper hugged me, lifting my face before kissing me deeply. "I regret it. Do you believe me?"

 _No_. "Yes."

"No, you don't. Which is okay. I wouldn't trust me either, if I were you."

"But I do trust you. It's too much to hope you'll stop tricking, though."

"It's something I've done ever since...New York. It kind of happened. I used to go out with Peter. He'd stay at the bar, and I'd dance and take guys in the Backroom, sometimes even back to our place. After a dozen of them, it became a habit. Then we came to Pittsburgh and the first night in Rainbow…" He had a far-away look in his eyes.

"You continued tricking."

"Actually, I've done the impossible. I remember I was dancing with Peter when a hot guy caught my eye. Pete rolled his eyes and pushed me in his direction. At the time, I had no idea the guy I had my eyes on was dancing with a guy who was exactly like me. Though he had quit his ways for the one in his arms. Again, I had no idea. The thing is...I somehow won the hot guy and we danced a few songs, then I wanted to pull him to the Backroom. I had to test it. That's when his partner stepped in, shook my hand and told me he'd finally found someone worthy to carry on his ways. I found it funny at the time. I earned everyone's respect."

"I had no idea."

"Well, now you do. Then, Felix came around." He scowled in his direction. "He thought he could take my place. It didn't work."

"Look, Jasper… I know how much you pride your position amongst the Pittsburgh gay community. And probably the whole Pennsylvania and even Northern Hemisphere, but please...is it too much to ask of you to just lay it down. I mean, don't stop. It's who you are and I get that."

Tanya chose that moment to place a plate filled with fries and two burgers in front of Jasper. "I think you ordered this."

Jasper gawked at the food. "I did no such thing!"

"Yes, you did!" I reminded him, chuckling. "Remember, you called me."

He gaped at me, and I realized in that moment he'd been joking. "Christ, Edward. If I eat this, are you going to pay my doctor?"

"Just eat. Some of it. I hear you had quite the workout at the gym."

He pressed his lips together, then tentatively picked a fry, examined it, then bit on it. _Seriously_.

"Can we talk?" Alec appeared at my side, his eyes alight, bouncing between Jasper and me. "Can we?"

"Eat," I ordered Jasper, kissing his temple before jumping off the stool and walking with Alec to our booth. It was empty, which meant Felix had left.

He had a huge smile on his face, and I decided to stop worrying. He was happy.

"Oh my God! Edward. Oh, God. He's so perfect!"

"Oh, yeah? You were hilarious, by the way."

"I've never had someone interested in me!"

"What the fuck am I? Chopped liver?"

"Well, you're... _you_. But remember, when we talked in English that day? I was just as flustered."

"Oh, right. Anyway...tell me what happened."

"We talked."

"Aaaaand? Are you going to see him again, or what?" _Please, say no._

"You need to cover for me on Friday."

I couldn't say no to his wide blue eyes, pouty lip, and the excitement he radiated. "I'll try. What are we doing on Friday that we won't make it back?"

"I thought of it!" He beamed. "Say Jasper's out of town and we're spending the night at his house."

"You need a better excuse. We'll find something. Don't worry. Maybe after Rainbow, we'd all go to Jasper's...your aunt should buy that."

"I hope so."

"Okay, we have four more days to cook up a plan. Now, tell me. Where are you going? What did you talk about?"

"Felix is taking me to Edom—"

"Traitor," Jasper muttered, dumping his plate on the table before pushing me until he could sit next to me. "Fraternizing with the enemy."

"What?" Alec stared.

I patted Jasper's shoulder, leaving my hand there. "Don't mind him. He's sour cuz Felix tried stealing his spot in Rainbow some time ago."

"Oh, that's why he left when he looked your way?"

Jasper was pleased.

"We're going to Edom. He said it's much better than Rainbow. And cheaper."

"Yeah, everything is cheap there, from the booze, to the drugs, and to the people," Jasper commented around a mouthful of burger.

"Don't accept anything from anyone," I told Alec, scared. He'd been safe with me at Rainbow, but if he went there on his own, I couldn't protect him.

"Not even from mighty Felix. Who the fuck knows what he can slip in your drink?" Jasper supplied.

"So take money with you to buy your own drinks." I gave him a pointed look.

"Of course, there's the possibility they'd spray drugs on the dance floor, so try to stay away if unknown substances fall from the ceiling," Jasper said nonchalantly.

Alec was fighting off a smile when we were serious. "Do you know you sound like my parents when they used to give me advice before going out?"

Jasper choked on his bite, his eyes watering. I thumped him on the back, scowling at Alec.

 _Thanks for scaring him_. "At least, promise to do as we said."

"I will."

"You okay?" I asked Jasper, who'd stopped coughing. I rubbed my hand over his back. "Want some water?"

He cleared his throat, nodding.

"Tanya, water!"

"At your service, your majesty," she joked, bringing a bottle and a glass to our table.

"Thanks," Jasper muttered, uncapping the bottle and drinking, not bothering with the glass. He drank half of it. "Can we have the check, too?"

She looked at him before nodding and scurrying off.

"We're leaving? You didn't finish eating." I stared at his plate.

"It's late, Edward. It's a school night. I don't want to be responsible for either of you falling asleep in class tomorrow."

"You're no fun." I pouted.

To make a point, Alec's phone rang and he laughed, showing us Jane's face on the screen.

"Hey, Auntie!" he answered cheerfully.

"This is the happiest I've seen him in months," I whispered to Jasper.

"I'm happy he found someone. You'll be all mine now." He smiled, but before I could answer, he stuffed two fries in my mouth. Then he leaned closer, kissing me.

I had to get used to this openly affectionate Jasper.

"No, Auntie!" Alec's exclamation got my attention. He met my eyes and cringed. "We're fine. We're at the diner." He bit his lip, listening to whatever she was saying. I could hear her loud voice. "Yes, okay. We'll be home in half an hour...I can't be home in five. No, not yet. Still here...I need to pay for...well, yes." He groaned. "Fifteen, fine." He hung up and banged his head against the table.

"What's up? Missed curfew?" Jasper asked nonchalantly, popping a fry in his mouth.

"It's after eleven! Why didn't you say something?" Alec glared.

"Why would I keep tabs on time?"

"Because you live with us and you know how Auntie is!"

"Jeez. Can I crash at your place tonight?" I begged Jasper.

"Sure." He grinned, flicking my ear.

"Thanks." I kissed his cheek.

"I really hate you in this moment," Alec grumbled. " _So much_!"

"OW! I think you missed the target," Jasper hissed, grabbing his leg under the table.

"Oh, shit. Sorry." Alec turned red.

I couldn't help but laugh. "Fine, I'm coming with you. You can blame me."

"Really? No backing away? Because I will."

"I can take it." I winked.

"What about me?" Jasper nudged me in the ribs, as Tanya brought us the check.

"You're a big boy. You can tuck yourself in alone." I kissed his mouth quickly.

A short quarrel with Jasper later, he paid for everything before pushing us out of the diner. Alec walked ahead briskly to his car as I trudged behind, hands stuffed in my pockets. Jasper tagged along, looking at me with the corner of his eyes.

At Alec's car, I stopped at the passenger's door and turned to Jasper. He stepped so close, invading my personal space. His long fingers tugged the beanie better on my head before leaning in for a kiss, hands on either side of my neck.

I melted against him, kissing him back, and never wanting the moment to end. I could say fuck it to backing Alec, and go home with Jasper, but I owed Alec as much.

"See you tomorrow," Jasper whispered, catching my bottom lip between his teeth. It made me shudder. He peppered kisses up my jaw until he reached my ear, breathing warm air there. "Love you, Pretty Boy."

"Love you too," I breathed out, hugging him tightly.

I was suddenly jerked back. Alec tugged on the hem of my jacket. "Hurry up!" he shouted through the open window.

I separated from my boyfriend and slid into the car. He leaned over the still open window. "Drive carefully, Alec. Good night." Then he turned and left.

Alec pulled out of the spot and accelerated down the empty road. My eyes stayed in the rearview mirror as Jasper became smaller and smaller, until he disappeared as we took a turn.


	31. Chapter 31

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope everyone had a great New Year time! Proceed with caution ;)

_I wanna lose my mind, like a maniac_   
_And cross the line, never looking back_   
_We're on the loose, getting crazy_   
_And we've gone cuckoo_   
_Gonna party 'til they take us away_

**Adam Lambert – Cuckoo**

Jane looked like a dragon spitting fire when we pulled up in the driveway.

She rushed out of the house in her pajamas with skulls all over them and her leather boots in her feet.

Alec stared at her scared, frozen in his seat.

"We should get out of the car," I suggested. I didn't put it above her to pull Alec out of the car if the cause called for it.

Jane grabbed him by the scarf when he opened his door. Even though she was small, she was one hell of a scary person when she was angry.

"Alexander Conner Lerman!" I was learning new things. My friend's middle name was Conner. "Do you have any idea how worried I've been? Where have you been! It's close to midnight!"

"B-but…we were safe… The diner," he said feebly.

"It's my fault." I stepped in, knowing Alec would cave and tell her the truth.

"Couldn't you call?" She glared at Alec, not minding me. "Don't look at me like that, Alec. You scared the shit out of me! I kept calling and you didn't answer."

"I did," he protested, but I could tell it was a lie. She'd probably called while he was talking to Felix, and he didn't want to answer. I understood him.

"After I almost called the police. I wanted to head to the park and search for your dead body!"

"Auntie, we were okay!" He glanced at me, pleadingly.

Jane finally acknowledged me, and I wished she'd kept ignoring me. If looks could kill… "This is all your fault. He'd never missed curfew. And if it happened, he called."

"It's not Edward's fault!" Alec shouted, suddenly growing upset.

"Yes, it is. I made him wait for me." I'd promised to back him, and I was keeping my word. I didn't want him to fight with his aunt.

"Would you stop taking each other's side?" Jane yelled, making me cringe. "Frankly, you can do whatever you want, Edward. You're not my responsibility. Though, I hope you'll be careful. As for you, young man— _you are_ my responsibility."

"No, I'm not. I'm eighteen!" Alec snapped.

"Until you leave the house, I'm your legal guardian. You wouldn't have done this to Sammy."

They were talking about his parents, and I felt out of place.

"Oh, that's so smart, auntie. Drag Mom into this mess." Big tears rolled down his face.

I hated to see our beautiful night ending like this.

"It's the truth. You're acting up because you're mad at me for pushing you to apply to Juilliard."

Alec fisted his hands, narrowing his eyes at her. "Just leave me the fuck alone! Mom would have never pushed me to do something I didn't like. She'd have never screamed at me for being home late when I was perfectly safe with my friend, in a populated place!"

"How was I supposed to know you were okay? Last I knew, you were headed to the park, not the diner!" she yelled. "Get inside now, before we disturb the whole neighborhood with your misbehaving. You're grounded."

"That's all you got? What next? No TV? No computer?"

"Come on," I muttered, pulling him to the front door.

"I'm not done," Jane said in an even tone, following us. "It hurts to say this, but you need to leave, Edward. Tomorrow. You're a bad influence on Alec."

I whirled around, gaping.

Alec threw her a venomous look. "I HATE YOU!" He stormed up the stairs, slamming the door of his room so loud the sound echoed in the quiet house.

"Uh, okay," I mumbled, staring at the floor. "But just to let you know something…you just lost Alec." I thought she should know the damage she'd done.

"Don't speak without thinking. He's upset, but he'll forgive me."

"Just remember my words when you lost control over him."

"Is this a threat, Edward? I never thought you were the bad guy."

"It's a warning, Jane. And at the moment, you're the bad guy." I went upstairs, directly to Alec's room.

He was on top of his bed, sobbing into the pillow.

"Sweets." I approached the bed tentatively.

"Leave me alone, Edward."

He'd never said that to me. "Do you blame me, too?"

"No. I want to be alone. Please."

I hovered a while in the doorway, but eventually left. He needed to be alone, and I understood that.

I slept fitfully, and finally gave up tossing and turning at the crack of dawn. I packed all I had, while wondering if Jane had changed her mind overnight.

But just to be sure I had a place to live, I sat on the bed once the bags were filled and called Jasper.

The phone rang for a long time before he answered out of breath.

"Edward."

"Hi. Did I wake?" I bit my lip, though it didn't explain why he was short of breath.

"I was shaving, and heard the phone ringing. I left it in the kitchen last night. So you're lucky I heard at all."

"Oh, okay." Why toss the phone in the kitchen? Unless...no way. I hoped he didn't. Two tricks in one night?

"I can hear your wheels turning." He laughed.

"Well, I'm curious."

"I went to Rainbow after I left and spend three hours talking to Rile. I think I convinced him to talk to his doctor to give him the real drug. We'd all help pay. He needs to understand it. Anyway, you didn't call to hear about my boring night."

"Mine was far more entertaining," I muttered.

"Is that so?"

"Jane greeted us at the door and shouted a lot. It was ugly. She told me to leave." A lump formed in my throat as tears spilled from my eyes. "What the fuck am I supposed to do? I'm sure as hell not going home."

"Is that an actual question? You're coming here. At this point, I don't even care if the school finds out."

"But Jasper...I want to live there, though...as you said, the school…" I didn't want to cause him any trouble.

"Pretty Boy, look, it's seven. How about you pack your shit and I come pick you up. You can leave your things in my car until school lets out then we go home together."

"Thank you so much."

"Don't mention it. See you in thirty minutes or so."

When I made the courage to go downstairs with my bags in tow, Alec stared at me blankly then threw his aunt a hateful look, before storming out of the room. I didn't stop him, knowing we'd talk at school.

Jane walked to me, taking my hand. "I'm really sorry, Edward."

"Yeah, sure. Whatever."

"Where are you going to stay?"

"With Jasper. Even though you don't deserve this, I'm still going to thank you for letting me stay here when I had nowhere to go. As for last night...you're overreacting. It happened once, Jane. Once. And like I said, you lost Alec."

"You don't know what you're talking about."

"I've been telling her the same thing," Sophie said softly from her spot at the table. "It's sad to see you go. I liked you."

I gave her a weak smile. "Thank you."

The front door slammed and I saw Alec through the kitchen window. He went to his car like a tornado, backing out without being careful then driving away. Hopefully to school.

I covered Jane's hand when she reached for her phone. "Don't."

"You have no right to tell me how to raise my nephew!"

Thankfully, Jasper parked in front of the house that moment, and to my surprise he walked to the front door. I rushed over to open it.

"Hi." He smiled, gathering me in his arms.

I burst in tears the second I was in his warm embrace. I had no idea I'd kept it bottled up. All my fears came crashing down again. What would I've down without him? I wouldn't be here, but then again I didn't regret meeting Jasper. I couldn't.

"Shh, Pretty Boy. It's going to be okay." He rubbed a hand over my back.

Detangling from him, I took my school bag and my violin case. He looked surprised to see three bags at the foot of the stairs. "Jeez. You sure have a lot of things. So you got all your pansy stuff in here?"

I scowled at him. "These bags hold everything I have. My whole life."

Jasper looked somewhere over my shoulder, and I turned to see him eyeing Jane and Sophie. "There is a reason I don't trust snuffers. You never hold your word."

"Look who's talking!"

"Jasper never promised me anything," I defended him. "You said I could stay here. You even told me I was like Alec's brother and you loved me like you love Alec. Well, you have a funny way to show it, Jane."

"No fighting before eight. I feel a headache building up. Come on, Edward." Jasper grabbed my bags before leading the way out.

Sophie ran to me, hugging me tightly, saying she'd miss me. I made her promise to keep an eye on Alec, and try to talk sense into her girlfriend.

In Jasper's car, I sagged in the seat, sighing heavily. "My life is a mess."

"Welcome to adulthood, Pretty Boy. You hungry? We can stop at the coffee shop across school."

"Yeah, I didn't eat."

We grabbed a bagel and ate quickly. It was close to eight when we stepped into school.

"Are you going to be okay?" he asked concerned.

"Yeah, sure. I'm more worried about Alec. I have a feeling he'll do something stupid."

"I'd talk to him…"

"No, Jasper." I grabbed the lapels on his suit jacket. "You'll make it worse. It's just… Can you do something for me?"

He checked his watch before meeting my eyes, smirking. "We have time for a quickie."

I slapped his chest. "I'm being serious here! Can you talk to Felix?"

He blanched. "I won't do such a thing. We're enemies."

"Do you even know what an enemy is? He's your rival, at best. But please. Alec is my best friend, and yes, before you say it, I love him. I don't want Felix to corrupt him in any way, because I know he'd go to him. And if Felix gives him drugs or something…" I shuddered. "Please, Jasper."

"You know I can't say no when you look at me like that? You're the perfect impersonation of Bambi."

"Does that mean you're going to talk to Felix?"

"Yes. Now, go to class." He pecked my cheek, then swatted my ass.

We had at least a dozen witnesses, but I didn't care.

**OoO**

As Christmas neared, I became closer to Jasper than ever. It was pure torture to stay away from him at school, but I sure as hell visited him a lot in his office. Everyone could think I was crazy for all I cared. And I was–crazy for him.

The only downside was I barely saw Alec. He avoided everyone at school, including me and Bella. And when we got paired up in P.E. he faked a tummy ache and left class.

Jasper insisted he'd talked to Felix, but it wasn't like he could keep him from hurting Alec.

It was the second day of winter break when I suggested to Jasper we go to Edom that night. I could tell he wanted to protest, but he simply nodded. He knew how worried I was.

Jasper took longer than usual to get dressed, choosing each article carefully. He went through a dozen shirts, all black, only to settle on a white one. He made a pirouette when he was dressed at last.

"How do I look?"

I yawned. "You look hot. Can we go now?"

Jasper scoffed, turning to admire himself in the mirror, brushing off invisible lint off his black leather pants, straightening the collar of his shirt. "You don't get it, Edward. I'm going on the rival's playground. I need to look my best."

"This is a game to you? All I want is to make sure Alec is safe. I have a bad feeling."

"He's inoffensive. Felix, I mean. He's a lot like me, and I hate admitting that. Am I the bad guy?"

"Jasper." I walked to him, wrapping my arms around his shoulder from behind. "I was never scared of you. Felix scares me."

He met my eyes in the mirror, sighing. "If you're going to be my hot date in the rival's playground, I need you to look your best."

Saying that, he took my shirt off, tossing it away. A few silky shirts were dangled in front of me, but none seemed to be good since Jasper placed them back on the hangers in his wardrobe. A few minutes later, which seemed like hours to me, I was wearing a tight yellow shirt and a pair of black skinny jeans. Lucky we were the same size.

"Dooon't!" He shouted when I grabbed my winter jacket. "No offense, but you look like a dork in that."

"Do you want me to freeze to death? I'm not going out without a jacket!"

"I never said that. Here. Try this on." He handed me a leather jacket. "You look great." He admired me, his eyes roaming me up and down. "I'd do you."

I rolled my eyes. "You're going to do me, anyway."

"Who knows? Maybe I'll find a new twink at Edom." He teased, taking face in his hands and kissing me soundly.

"You're _so_ funny."

"I know." He smirked.

I pushed him backwards until he fell on the bed when I straddled his hips. "No one compares to me. I'm the exception."

Jasper shoved me aside gently. "Don't make me hard. It would be a bitch to have my poor dick squished in these pants."

"What about my dick? You gave me the tightest of your pairs."

"Stop complaining. Let's get a move."

We arrived relatively fast considering it was nearing ten when we stepped inside the club. Jasper and his queening over clothes had made us late. I was about to voice my concern about missing Alec, knowing his curfew was ten, when I spotted him.

"Fuck." I grabbed Jasper's elbow, pointing to the counter.

Alec was on top of it, only in a pair of jeans, sweaty and dancing wildly. Felix was pouring shots down his throat while a few patrons tried to undo his pants.

"Jasper, do something!" I felt sick.

"Stay here. Don't move. I mean it," he said lowly, his eyes boring into mine.

I nodded, rocking on my feet as he advanced to the counter, pushing away people. He slapped a guy's hands from Alec's jeans, before picking my friend up and draping him over his shoulder, turning to walk to me.

It didn't work, obviously. The patrons exclaimed loudly when their entertainment was cut short, but the most upset was Felix. He jumped off the counter and grabbed Jasper's shoulder. They seemed to exchange harsh words and somehow Alec was in Felix's arms while three security guards were escorting Jasper out.

I should have followed him, but anger won and I stalked to Felix. He had his back to me, so I crushed my fist into his shoulder. He didn't seem to feel it. I did it again, harder.

He finally turned and gave me an amused look. "Well, well, well."

"Give me Alec, and I promise to leave."

"Give you Alec? What, is he a piece of meat?"

"You treat him like that! You got him drunk! You son of a bitch!"

"Oh, feisty."

"Edwaaard!" Alec appeared from behind Felix and stumbled into my arms. "Sooo gooood to seee youuu!"

God, he was so gone. "What the fuck did you give him?"

"Just some E. He wanted. He'll be okay. We've done this every night."

It all made sense suddenly, why Alec looked like shit in school and snapped at everyone when they got in his way. He'd become a fucking junkie—exactly what I'd feared.

"Let's take some air and talk," I whispered in Alec's ear. He smelled all wrong.

"I'm going out with Edward. See you soon." Alec started making out with Felix, it didn't seem like they'd stop. When it happened, I more or less dragged him out. We picked his jacket from the wardrobe.

Jasper was leaning against the opposite wall in the dark alley, dabbing his lip. "You stupid boy!" He caught me in a crushing hug.

"I have Alec." I beamed, pointing to my right only to realize he wasn't there. Looking around, I found him in the doorway, staring strangely at Jasper.

"I'm not allowed around him. Felix said he'll hurt me. You should stay away from him too, Edward. Come back inside with me. We can have fun. You and me, like before."

"Alec, stop this. You're going home. I bet your aunt is worried sick." I snatching his wrist and pulled him down the street.

"Stop. I'll scream."

"I dare you," I barked at him.

Jasper moved quickly, placing his hand over Alec's mouth when he opened it. "We can't take him home like this. Let's go back to my place and sober him up. OW!" He dropped his hand and I realized Alec had bit him. Hard enough to draw blood.

"Alec!" I shouted panicked when he slipped from my grasp, dashing back inside the club. "No." I wanted to cry.

"There's nothing we can do here."

"Shut up!" I yelled at Jasper as tears fell down my cheeks. "This is all my fault."

"Of course, Edward The Martyr." He snorted, walking to the main street, holding his injured hand.

"Where are you going?" I ran after him. "Jasper…"

He backed me into the wall, narrowing his eyes. "Listen here, and listen good. I won't repeat myself." I gulped, suddenly terrified of him. "It's not your fault he has problems at home. It's not your fault he had the misfortune to meet Felix. It's not your fault he decided drugs were the answer to his problems. Alec isn't your problem! Get over it."

I squared my shoulders, glaring back. "If that was Riley or Peter, you wouldn't talk like that!"

"They're smart enough to know better."

"So Alec's stupid! That's my best friend you're talking about."

"Yes, he's a stupid teenager with issues. Now, can we fucking go to Rainbow?"

"NO!" I spat in his face. "I'm going back there." I pointed to Edom. "Alec is there, and I care for him more than Felix ever will."

Jasper grabbed my chin so hard it hurt. "If you go in there, I can't save your ass if you get in trouble. I've just been banned from the club. Actually I'm not allowed to be on this alley at the moment."

"Then fucking go to your precious Rainbow, find a trick and fuck your brains out. I'm going to save my friend."

"Don't go, Edward," he whispered. "If something happened to you there…"

"Jasper, I need to go. Whether you like it or not, I'm still going. Have a nice night." I pecked his lips, and before he could stop me, I rushed into the club.

The bouncer eyed my fake ID for a full minute before finally allowing me inside. I was once again assaulted by the loud beat and smell of sweaty bodies. The lights were dimmer in Edom, making it creepy.

I bumped into people as I searched for Alec. Thankfully he wasn't back on the counter, but he wasn't on the dance floor either. I tried finding the Backroom, if this place had one, but then I spotted him on a plush sofa with Felix. They were sharing a joint.

I stopped in front of them, taking the joint from Alec's hand, flopping down next to him. "Hi. I ditched Jasper."

Felix looked at me impressed.

I pretended to take a drag, enough to puff out some smoke. It tasted horrid. I only once tried strong drugs, because Jasper insisted I have a taste. They weren't my thing, but I could tell this blunt was shit.

"I'll let you two catch up. Drinks on me. Anything you want, tell the bartender." Felix winked, slipping away in the crowd.

"See? He's not so bad," Alec slurred out. He was stoned out of his mind.

"Yeah, though the weed is shitty. So how have you been? You've been avoiding me." I linked our fingers, hoping to seize the opportunity and leave with him.

He laughed loudly. "I'm a rebel! I miss curfew, and when Felix takes me home, we make sure to kiss in front of Auntie. Heck, Edward!" He giggled, facing me. "We fucked one night on the porch. Then another night in my room. I bet she heard. I wasn't exactly quiet."

"Indeed, a rebel." I played his game, wishing to find a crack in his bad boy facade. "So you and Felix are together now?"

"Oh, well...sometimes. I understand why you accept Jasper's tricks. It's so hot to see him kiss another guy, fuck him...and if you can join…." He got starry eyed.

Bile rose in my throat. "What did you say? You had a threesome?"

"Foursome too. Gang bangs. It's so much fun!"

"Alec!" I shouted, shaking his shoulders. "Wake the fuck up! Can't you see what he's doing?"

"Can't you be happy for me?"

"Not when you're being a stupid, reckless twat!" I wanted to slap him. "Tell me you were being careful."

"Pshh. Are you my father or something? Stop worrying about me."

"Were you careful? Did you use protection?" I yelled, grasping his chin. "Alec, please. Snap the fuck out of the trance!"

"It hurts," he mumbled, attempting to push my fingers away, but his hands fell limply in his lap.

"Alec." I stared at him in horror as he paled and swayed. Holding tightly on his hand, I pulled him up, slinging his arm over my shoulders then trudged my way out.

In the dark alley, I leaned Alec against the wall, keeping my hand on his shoulder as I dialed Jasper's number.

"I don't feel well." Alec moaned, sliding down the wall and putting his head on his knees.

Jasper's phone kept going to voicemail which irked the hell out of me. I tried Riley and got a sleepy voice answering. Fuck.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to wake you. I thought you were at Rainbow."

"No. We decided to stay in. Why? You lost Jasper?"

"Something like that." I chuckled nervously.

"Try Pete. I'll text you his number."

"Thanks, Rile."

We hung up and a few moments later I had Peter's number. I immediately called, watching Alec warily as he moaned miserably, holding his stomach.

"Hello?" Peter sounded confused. He didn't know my number.

"Hi. It's Edward. The fuck is Jasper?"

"Last I saw him was at the bar."

"Well, tell him to fucking call me. No wait. Find him and give him your phone now. I need to talk to him."

"Did you two fight again? He's draining shots."

I groaned. "Just put him on the phone."

"Missed me?" Jasper asked amused.

"I have Alec. He's not well. Meet me at the car."

"Did you offer sex? I've never seen him move so fast." Peter was back on the line.

"No. It's a long story. Thanks for helping."

It took great effort to hoist Alec up and drag him to Jasper's car. He was already there, leaning against the hood, smoking.

"Fuck," he hissed, throwing his cigarette away and helping me with Alec. "What happened?"

"He's not feeling well."

For the first time since we were all crammed in the small place, I didn't mind Jasper didn't have a backseat. I held tightly onto my friend, hoping he'd be okay.

"Should we take him to the hospital?" I glanced at Jasper.

He shook his head, concentrating on driving. He looked deep in thought.

"Where are we going?" I frowned, when he didn't take the usual route.

"We can't go to the hospital. But we have a doctor friend. We're headed to Riley's."

"They're sleeping. I called Riley when you didn't answer your phone."

"You called me? Sorry. Didn't hear or feel it."

 _Huh_. "Okay."

Surprisingly, I believed him. But that's part of the love thing—to trust your partner, right?


	32. Chapter 32

_I was alone, falling free,_   
_trying my best not to forget,_   
_what happened to us, what happened to me,_   
_what happened as I let it slip._

**Placebo – Meds**

At Riley's, Garrett examined Alec as best as he could. The conclusion was a slight overdose combined with alcohol.

He needed rest, lots of liquids and supervision, because Garrett wasn't sure how often Alec had taken drugs. It was possible he'd need more, which meant he was in deep shit. Like I didn't realize that on my own.

Jasper and I took Alec home. He was mostly out of it as Jasper carried him to the guest bedroom.

"Let's sleep, Edward. He's safe here."

"I'm not leaving his side. Go to bed. I'll be here." I climbed in next to Alec, leaning on my elbow and stroking sweaty, dark locks out of his face.

"There's nothing you can do. He needs to sleep it off. We'll see in the morning what's to do."

"Jasper, please. I need to be here."

He sighed, dropping a kiss on my head before going to his bedroom.

Alec shifted around, snuggling into me. I hugged him tightly. "I'm here, sweets," I whispered in his hair.

It didn't take long for me to drift off.

"Edward?"

I turned on my other side, away from the hand shaking my shoulder.

"Edward."

It took a few minutes to recognize the voice. Alec.

I flipped over and found him lying next to me, watching me with wide blue eyes, white as a sheet, and sweaty.

"Sweets, are you okay?" I cupped his cheek.

"Not sure. Where are we?"

"At Jasper's," I answered, hugging him in case he wanted to run.

He did tense up, but didn't do much else.

"What have you done?" I asked pained, placing my head on his shoulder. "What was in your head to go to Felix and do that?"

"I was so angry," he mumbled. "At Auntie for bossing me around, at Sophie for not trying harder to keep Auntie from yelling at me, at you for having everything you wanted, at my parents for not being there when I needed them… Fuck, I hated everyone. So I called Felix. Yes, it was a mistake."

"Shit, Alec. Did he give you drugs?"

"I think so."

"Did you… You said something last night…"

"I don't remember much. The last thing that's kind of clear is you and Jasper coming after me and trying to take me from the club."

"And you went back in!"

"I was still angry, but also I realized what a mistake I'd made. Then Felix gave me that blunt."

I sighed, tracing a finger over his forearm. "You said...he made you sleep around. Is that true? With more than one person at the same time."

He turned his head away, squeezing his eyes.

Fuck.

"We'll take you back to your aunts and go from there. Jane should know what to do."

He started sobbing. "I think...it's my fault...but they broke up."

"What?" I shouted, sitting up.

"Auntie kept yelling at me, and Sophie took my side. Then Auntie turned on her. I'm not sure, though. I haven't been home in over a week."

"Aleeeec!" I moaned, sliding out of the bed.

"Where are you going?" he asked panicked.

"To wake Jasper. We're taking you to the hospital. Don't try to fight me." I walked to the door. "Also, I'm calling Jane. Drink that water." I pointed to the bottle on the nightstand.

Jasper was sprawled on his bed, snoring loudly. I took a moment in the doorway to admire the glorious view of the naked blond god, then shuffled to the side of the bed. It almost hurt to wake him. I hadn't seen him sleeping so deeply in too long.

"Hey, Jasper." I moved a few stray hairs out of his eyes.

"Mhmm?"

"I need to tell you something."

He grabbed my wrist and pulled me so I was lying next to him, then he draped his arm over me, snuggling closer. It was funny, considering this wasn't his typical behavior, which meant he wasn't entirely awake.

"Jasper!" I hissed in his ear.

He jerked, and moved away from me, frowning. "Weren't you…" He gestured toward the wall. I figured he meant if I shouldn't be in the other room.

"Yeah, but we woke up. Listen…"

"Don't start babbling. I'm not that awake." He dragged the pillow over his face.

"It's important!" I pushed the pillow away. "Jasper, we have to take Alec to the hospital. He's been exposed to drugs, alcohol and...unprotected sex...with various guys."

Jasper gasped, staring at me in horror.

"Yes, exactly." I nodded.

"Give me five." He jumped out of the bed, making a beeline to the bathroom.

I followed, not sure why. Maybe it was because he kind of left in the middle of the conversation.

He raised an eyebrow at me, but didn't seem to mind I had walked in on him peeing. "You should call the muncher and let her know we're taking Alec to the hospital. She better be there."

"That was my next step. To call Jane."

"Well, do that. I need a shower. Alone." He leaned to twist the knobs at the shower.

I shuffled closer, turning him around and kissing him. "Thank you, Jasper."

"Pretty Boy, I'm not doing it for you. I'm doing it for him. Now, shoo."

I snorted, choosing not to comment on not doing it for me. He might be right, because he did help Riley all these years ago, but I knew, deep down he was helping Alec for me.

**OoO**

At the hospital, Jane was waiting on the steps, wrapped in a winter coat with what looked like pajamas under it. She rushed to Alec when he was out of the car, engulfing him in a huge hug. He slumped against her, sobbing.

Jasper stopped next to me, wrapping an arm around my shoulders. "We can leave them here. I'm sure he'd be more comfortable with his aunt."

"No," I protested, doubting Alec would prefer his aunt.

Jane must have heard us because she raised her head, meeting Jasper's eyes. "Thank you. I can take it from here."

"Are you sure?" I asked, not ready to leave Alec's side.

"I'll be fine," he answered quietly, clinging to his aunt.

"Come on." Jasper steered me back to the car. "You and me tonight. Rainbow. There's a themed party."

I turned to gape at him. "You're thinking of parties when Alec could be...hurt? Like seriously hurt. I can't believe you."

"He's none of my concern, Pretty Boy. He's on good hands."

"I don't want to go anywhere tonight," I huffed.

He shrugged, walking to his side of the car. "Suit yourself. I might be home late."

"You're going without me?" I couldn't believe him.

Sliding inside the car, I fastened the seat belt, folding my arms across my chest and glaring out the windscreen.

"Don't pout now." Jasper leaned over the console to kiss me, but I turned my head. "I was actually hoping the party would take your mind off things."

"How thoughtful." I sneered. "Just drive, will you? Can you drop me off at Bella's?"

Jasper sighed loudly, starting the engine, revving it a few times before springing ahead. I'd gotten used to his driving. I could even gauge his mood by the way he was driving.

Slow and careful meant he was playful and in a general good mood. It didn't happen that often.

Fast and reckless meant he was in a hurry to get somewhere, usually at work.

Fast and furious meant he was well...furious. Like at the moment.

If I moved the wrong way or said something to irk him, he'd simply slam the breaks and tell me to get out. It had happened before, but he never actually went all the way with his threats. This time was different.

He wanted to do something nice for me, he thought the party would take my mind off Alec's problems. And I snapped at him.

By taking me to Rainbow to the themed party he showed me he cared without saying the words. I should have known he'd do something like this, but as concerned about Alec as I was, I couldn't actually think over his words.

Time for groveling.

We stopped at a red light.

His knuckles were white at how hard he was gripping the steering wheel.

"What theme is the party?"

"Why do you even care?" He didn't take his eyes off the traffic light.

"Just curious." I decided to play it cool.

"Lap dances for Santa. The best dance wins a night with Santa."

I couldn't help but laugh. "Lucky Santa. Are you going to compete?"

That made him turn to me with the most hilarious look I'd seen on his face—eyebrows arched up, huge sky blue eyes and slightly open mouth, teeth showing a little. "I don't do lap dances."

We continued driving. I wasn't sure where we were going. He wasn't taking me to Bella. Not that I cared much. It was simply an excuse to get away from him.

"You can be Santa. I can give you a lap dance. In private," I added quickly in case he got ideas.

Half a smirk appeared on his lips. "I might be persuaded into dressing up only to see you lap dance."

_Holy shit. What did I just agree to?_

"I tell you what." He smirked at me.

 _Uh-huh_. "What?" I squeaked, shifting uncomfortably.

"We go to Rainbow, and you show 'em how it's done."

"NO!"

"Yes. But I get to take you home."

"It's not like I'm going to win. Besides, I'm not competing. My suggestion was just for you. At home. Alone. Blinds down, lights out."

"That's not much of a lap dance, Pretty Boy."

At the next red light, I unbuckled my seat belt and leaned closer. I placed a hand on his thigh, inching to his growing erection.

He gave me an amused look. "Here?"

I shrugged, and decided not to think of what I was about to do. I bent over, unfastening his pants, taking him out of his boxers then started sucking.

"Fuck," Jasper hissed, one hand fisting in my hair, pushing me down.

I nearly choked, but managed to find a good rhythm.

Still gripping my hair, guiding me, he started chuckling. "I think you freaked the old lady in the car next to us."

I looked up at him, not pulling away. He grinned, ruffling my hair.

"Just try not to make us crash," he warned me.

The light must have turned green because we were moving. I could feel his legs tensing up and I doubled my effort.

Only a few feet away he slammed the brakes. I dug my fingers in his thigh, but the fright made me clamp my teeth around his dick.

"FUCK!"

I quickly retreated, embarrassed and horrified at what I'd done.

"Fucking asshole!" Jasper glared out the window. "Learn to fucking use your stupid lights when you want to overtake!"

Phew. For a second, I thought he was angry at me. And he had every right to be. Talk about ruined orgasms…

"Are you… Did I hurt you?" I whispered, glancing at his dick. I couldn't see blood, but what the hell. I freaking bit him.

Jasper caught my eye, pursing his lips. "I'll live." His azures widened. "Shit." He reached a hand to my face.

"What?"

"You're bleeding."

"I am?" I felt my head and sure enough my right temple was sticky. I must have hit my head on the steering wheel.

Tucking himself back in his pants, Jasper continued driving to his house.

By the time we arrived, my minor bleeding was gone, and I was once again scared for Alec. I couldn't stop thinking of him.

"Pretty Boy…" Jasper led me to the couch, sitting down with me on his lap. "Everything's going to be okay."

"How do you know that? That fuckwit molested him in more ways than one. He has to report him to the police."

"Edward, do you think that's a good idea?"

"Why the fuck not? Do you know how old he is? Alec told me...when he was still talking to me… He's almost forty! That's twice Alec's age. Then there is the drugs issue, and the fuck fests."

Jasper, rubbed my back, sighing heavily. "You do realize I'm most of the things you mentioned above."

"You're thirty one, you never forced me to take drugs and we never had gang bangs. So stop comparing yourself to that piece of shit. We should have stopped him that night when they met. But he looked so happy…"

"You can call Jane that next time you visit to see how your friend is feeling. Until then you're not allowed to think about Alec. You've worried enough about him. Start thinking of yourself a little, have fun."

"I don't want to have fun," I growled.

"Christ, Edward. We're going to Rainbow tonight, and you won't bitch about it. You're going to have fun."

"I'm going to _try_ and have fun," I insisted.

**OoO**

Later that night when we stepped inside Rainbow, I barely recognized the place.

White confetti was everywhere, red garlands were wrapped around the pillars and everyone was dressed in theme with the winter season.

Peter was leaning against the bar, dressed normal, but wearing a Santa hat. He beamed at us, snatching two hats from the counter and pushing them against our chests. "Wear these."

"You won't catch me dead with this thing on my head," Jasper said deadpanned.

"But you promised to be my Santa!" I pouted, playing along and tugging the red hat over my head. The white teasel had a bell in it, which grabbed Jasper's attention, flicking it from a side of my head to the other. Until I shuffled away, aggravated. "You have one too. Play with yours."

A smirk appeared on his lips. "Oh, don't worry. I plan to play with it. A lot." He winked, before leaning over the counter and shouting to the bartender his choice drink.


	33. Chapter 33

_Breathe in deep, and cleanse away our sins_   
_And we'll pray that there's no God_   
_To punish us and make a fuss_

**Muse – Fury**

By springtime my life couldn't be better.

As a New Year's resolution, I decided to work at the small cafe across the school. It worked perfectly with my schedule. I usually finished my shift in time to meet Jasper and the others at Rainbow for a drink and a dance, then we went home. Most of the times, Jasper insisted I did my homework while he showered and ordered take-out.

It was an easy routine we fell in.

Of course, sometimes we went to bed as soon as we got home, but those were the nights when he had one too many and was horny as hell. I never complained.

On a Friday evening, I was waiting for Jasper to arrive as my shift ended in five. Those were always the longest minutes...the waiting. Then he would stride casually into the cafe, taking his sunglasses off and smiling at me, and everything was better no matter how shitty my day had been.

I was obsessively arranging the cups just to do something when the bell jingled.

Liam, the guy on my shift, elbowed me.

 _I know._ I grinned to myself. _Jasper has arrived._

My eyes widened when I looked up and saw definitely not the person I expected.

"Is that the Mayor?" Liam whispered inconspicuously.

I scowled, walking around the counter. "Father."

"What the fuck is this?" He showed me an envelope.

Fuck. I was such an idiot. I'd written my old address on the letter I sent to Juilliard.

"Nice to see you too." I tried acting cool.

"Did you apply to Juilliard?" he demanded.

"Yes. Give it here." I tried taking the envelope from him, but he held it above his head, narrowing his eyes.

"Do you plan on leaving Pittsburgh?"

"Yes," I hissed. "Now, give me the goddamn letter!"

"How are you going to pay for it?"

"I'll find a way."

"I'll do it."

I stared at him in shock. "What?" I managed to sputter out.

"I will pay for your school. I know you always wanted there. Whatever it takes to keep you away from that cocksucker."

 _Here we go...again_. "I'm going to New York because it's what I want, but that doesn't mean I will stop seeing Jasper."

"Give it a few months, and you'll forget all about him." Dad smiled proudly, patting my shoulder and placing the letter in my hand. "You'll find a nice girl and bring her home for Thanksgiving."

I bit the inside of my cheek. "I don't even know their answer yet."

"What are you waiting for?" He gestured for me to answer.

The whole moment was surreal.

I'd never imagined opening the letter in front of him, it was always Bella, Alec, Jasper...one of them...in my mind. Not my father.

I quickly scanned the contents of the letter. Three times, to make sure I read correctly.

Mr. Brown had outdone himself. I had to pay him a visit and buy his favorite whiskey. He'd helped me get in. His name was mentioned in the letter, along with Mr. Pike's.

"Well? What does it say?"

I jumped out of my skin at Liam's voice behind me.

Staring into Dad's icy cold blue eyes, I knew I had to do anything to have him pay. "I got in." I grinned, my heart doing somersaults.

"That's fantastic news!" He pulled me into a hug, and I was sure it was the first time he ever hugged me. "Now you're going to be a grown-up and forget all about this stupid phase, especially that rapist."

I squeezed my eyes shut. "Sure. You bet I'll forget all about Jasper when I get to New York, to live my dream."

Fuck. My heart hurt saying the words, but the situation needed serious ass-kissing.

The bell jingling again got my attention. Jasper was standing near the door, staring at me with an unreadable expression, probably wondering why I was hugging my father.

I didn't care what Dad thought, but the euphoria finally caught up with me. Disentangling from him, I rushed to Jasper, jumping in his arms.

"I got in!" I kissed all over his face, showing him the letter. He didn't move one inch, making me pull away. "Aren't you happy for me?"

His eyes moved from me to Dad and back to me. I could see as they got colder, and had no idea why. "Oh, that's fabulous news, Pretty Boy. Mayor, always a pleasure seeing you."

Dad walked out without saying a word, only looking all important and smiling as if he was on some joke.

"Grab your stuff, I'm busy tonight. I need to research on a case."

I fetched my school bag, said goodbye to Liam then left with Jasper.

He was awfully quiet, but he took his anger or whatever he kept to himself on the car. At eight in the evening the traffic was bad. He kept accelerating only to brake abruptly. It made my snack want to crawl its way back out.

At his house, I went to his room—dared I say, our room—and called Bella excitedly. She sounded as happy as I felt, making me promise to meet up that weekend to talk about it. She'd gotten her letter from New York University the other week.

My next phone call was Alec. He'd had some rough months after the whole Felix incident, and that experience solidified his intention of staying in Pittsburgh near his aunts. As a rushed decision he'd applied for School of Business program and also for University of Pittsburgh Stage, which was part of what he'd secretly always wanted.

"I wanted to call too," he answered.

"I have great news!" I exclaimed, bouncing on the bed.

"Me too! But you first."

"I got in Juilliard!" I was sure my smile was permanent.

"Whoa! Congratulation, honey! I got a letter too."

"Aaaand?"

"I got in the theatre thing. Holy shit! I haven't told Auntie yet. She's with Sophie out."

"Well, you should tell them the second they return."

"Can you believe it? We're going to college!" He laughed.

"Oh, I can. But I wished you'd tried a New York college too."

"Let's say I wouldn't have missed my aunts, but there is not much money...not for that."

"Yeah…" I sighed. "Apparently my school payment is safe."

"It is? Jasper's going to pay?" He sounded impressed.

"Jasper...is being an asshole at the moment, but I'll blame it on a case he has….whatever. No. It's...Are you sitting down? You need to sit down for this."

"I'm curious."

"Dad," I said quietly.

"Your dad? Are you joking?"

"No… I'm just as surprised, believe me. He brought me the letter. I had no idea how he knew where I worked, but there he was… Anyway, I told him a huge lie to have him pay for my college."

"You're going home? You can't escape that one, Edward," Alec said agitated.

"I told him I'll forget Jasper. Fuck, this is going to backfire at me." I lay back on the bed, staring at the ceiling. "I need to find a job in New York to help me in case Dad decided he wouldn't pay for his queer son's education anymore."

"What about the money you made at the opera here?"

"It's in my account, but it's not much… They'll go on rent or some shit. I need to ask Bella if she'd like to share a small apartment with me or something."

"What about dorms?"

"I'm not sure I want to experience that. Besides…" I bit my lip.

"You're afraid you're going to forget Jasper?"

He knew me so well. "Yes. I hope it doesn't happen. Especially the other way round."

"Well, that is a high possibility."

"Alec," I groaned.

"What? He will forget you, you know that."

"I'll make sure he doesn't. I'll call and visit as often as I can. Fuck, Alec."

"Don't think it was a bad decision."

"I'm going to him. He kind of stopped talking to me when I told him I got in," I admitted.

"Well, he does love you, so he might be upset. Talk."

"That's my plan. We'll talk tomorrow, okay? I'm happy for you too."

"Me too. Love you." He'd started saying that a lot after I helped him overcome the bad situation with Felix.

"Love you back."

After hanging up, I went to Jasper's study. The door was firmly shut, something it had never happened before.

I hovered in the hallway for a few moments, before knocking.

"What?" he barked.

It made me question myself if it was wise to actually get in the lion's den.

The door opened violently. "What, Edward?" His eyes narrowed.

"I…"

"You, what? I'm busy. What do you need?"

"Are you upset? Did I do something?"

He sighed, frustrated. "As a matter of fact, yes. It's good to know your plan after you move away, though. When were you going to tell me?"

"Tell you what?" I frowned, watching him worried.

"That you planned on forgetting me and moving on. It's not that I care, but a little heads up, okay?"

"You don't care? That's bullshit. Besides… Wait. How do you know that?"

"You shouted it to your daddy while you were hugging. Good to know you kissed and made up," he said bitterly.

"Jasper," I gasped. He heard me. My lie. "I lied to him to have him pay for college."

"You will forget me. Trust me. If after one night apart you went to Alec, then after a few nights apart with many miles in between...you'll definitely find someone else."

"Why are we still talking about me and Alec? That's ancient news."

"Edward, just go do your homework or some shit. I'm busy."

_Translation: Fuck off, I need to sulk._

"No." I held my head high. I wasn't backing down. "You love me. I love you. We won't forget each other."

Jasper rubbed his forehead, turning back. He grabbed a bottle of whiskey off his desk and took a few gulps. "Fuck if I care. At least, you're going to do what you always wanted. I'm proud of you." He tipped the bottle to me.

"Are you going to forget me?" I asked fearfully.

"If you mean whether or not I'll fuck around, then you already know the answer. But to answer your stupid question, no. How can I forget you, Pretty Boy?"

A shiver ran through my body. "We'll see each other."

"Stop this bullshit. You say it now, but once you get there and life happens...you'll not be able to keep your promise, so let's not make any promises. If we see each other again after you leave, great. If not, great again."

"How can you be so...blasé about this?"

"Learnt a new word in school?"

I stormed out, angry at him. He was going to ruin everything I'd built, and I wasn't letting him do that.

I slept in the guest bedroom that night.

In the morning, I half expected to find him on the chair by the door, or next to me in bed. Of course, it was my wishful thinking.

After taking as much time as possible getting ready for the day, I went downstairs.

Jasper was at the counter in the kitchen, looking through some brochures. They'd been there for weeks, and he hadn't touched them. Alice had brought them over, in hopes he'd read them and go through with their agreement. Over the months, Jasper had warmed up to the idea of helping Alice with having a baby, but they hadn't done more than getting tested a couple weeks ago.

"You're awake!" He threw me a huge smile. "Do you think they'd allow me to sneak you in that room with me? I doubt I can jerk off in a cup surrounded by naked women magazines."

Oh, so we were ignoring the argument from last night?

Typical.

"I can give you a picture of me naked," I mumbled, pouring some coffee in a mug.

"Why do you even have naked pictures of yourself?"

"I don't. But you can take one. On your phone."

"You're smart. You know that?" Jasper walked closer, wrapping his arms around me, swaying from side to side.

The apology was coming.

He nibbled at my earlobe. "When are you going prom shopping?"

"I'm not going."

"You already own a suit?" He asked confused.

"I'm not going to prom. Can we hurry? I need to get in town, to meet with Bella."

Jasper carried his mug of coffee and the brochure he was reading to the living room, where he plopped on the couch, bare feet stretched in front of him.

"What are you doing?" I gaped at him. "I promised Bella."

"The car keys are on my nightstand. Just don't….scratch it, okay?"

I stared at him in disbelief.

I'd become great at reading him. By giving me the car he thought he showed me he trusted me.

What was wrong with him? Why couldn't he talk to me, like normal people?

But I was so used to not communicating since I grew up in my beloved dysfunctional family, that Jasper seemed a walk in the park.

**oOo**

As if Jasper wasn't enough to ask me about prom, Bella grilled me on _why not_ as we talked over a Slurpee at the diner.

"You can ask Alec."

I ignored her, slurping at my drink. If I asked Alec, it was wrong on so many levels I didn't even try thinking about it.

"You can ask... _Jasper_."

"You can shut up," I hissed.

"But it's important. Everyone goes to prom."

"I'm not. It's stupid."

"Ask Jasper," she insisted.

"Do you want him to have a heart attack?"

"Well, you said he kept encouraging you to go. Next time he tells you to go to prom, you give him a condition."

"Bella, I'm leaving in a few months. Think about it. He stays. He'll probably continue being the school's counselor. If I go with faculty to prom…"

"You don't know?" She gasped, her brown eyes widened.

"What should I know? It's suddenly okay for a student to date school staff?"

"He quit. Yesterday."

My heart pummeled. "I had no idea," I whispered. "Do you know why?"

"How the fuck should I know? You live with him!"

"We don't exactly talk about that... Actually, I don't think we talked properly in days. Something's bothering him, but I have no idea what."

After seeing Bella, I went to Alec's.

Sophie answered the door, engulfing me in a huge hug, congratulating me on getting in my desired college.

"Thanks. Is Alec home?"

"Sure he is." She led me inside, smiling. "Alec, sweetie! You have a visitor!"

"Just tell him no. The answer is NO!" Alec yelled from upstairs.

Sophie giggled in her palm, leaning closer to whisper in my ear….for some unknown reason. We were alone. "You see? He's got an admirer. That guy you work with at the cafe…Liam, he's come over a lot lately...he wants to take our little Alec to prom."

I couldn't help but laugh. Liam was a junior, and hearing it from Sophie, I understood why he got so flustered when Alec dropped by. And if I thought of it, Alec hadn't dropped by in over a week.

"I'll go to him," I whispered back, winking.

Alec's door was ajar and I could see him on his bed, typing on his laptop. He was on his stomach, legs bent at knee, waving through the air in rhythm with the music playing.

"Since when do you listen to Beyoncé?" I frowned.

His head shot up. "It's catchy." He shrugged. "To the left, to the left." He mimicked, making me laugh.

"I hear you have a not so secret admirer."

"Fuck Sophie," he mumbled, returning his eyes to the screen.

"I think I'd rather skip." I went to him, lounging on the bed, arms crossed behind my neck. "Whatcha doing?"

"Writing. Don't interrupt."

 _I can see that_. I shifted on the bed, resting my elbows next to his, staring at his screen.

_Everything was so bright and colorful, but yet blurry. If that makes sense._

_I could see and smell things clearer than before, but I couldn't understand...comprehend...what people were talking to me._

_Everything was hazy._

_But I loved that state. It scares me now._

_I think the lesson is to always listen to your parent's when they say not to talk to strangers._

"No apostrophe," I commented instinctively.

Alec shot me a dirty look. "This is for my session with your boyfriend. Can you not read over my shoulder?"

"Oh. So he made you talk about your time with Felix?"

"Edward, it's enough I'm talking to him about this. I don't want to talk to you too."

I moved back to the other side of the bed. "Still. No apostrophe to parents. How did you manage to pass your English class?"

"Fuck you," he muttered, but it was meant as a joke.

A few minutes later, he pushed the laptop away, flopping on his back.

"Did you know Jasper quit his job at school?" I blurted out.

He frowned at me. "That's why he told me our next session will be at the clinic? Why, though?"

"I had no idea. Bella just told me. Seriously she gets her hands on the hottest gossip."

"She's a girl," he said pointedly.

We moved the discussion to college and our recent acceptance letters, before we were called to a late lunch.

"So where's Jane?" I finally asked.

"She's working. I told her it was a bad idea to open her own store." Sophie shook her head.

Oh, right. Jane and Sophie had brought French cuisine to Pittsburgh. Or so Jane kept saying. They'd opened a small pastry and bakery store.

After eating, Alec and I went back to his room. I helped him with the Math homework, then we talked about school ending and finally being homework free. He tried bringing up prom, but I threatened to stop helping with Math.

It was early evening when my phone started ringing loudly, startling us.

"What?" I answered. "Miss me?"

I could have sworn Jasper growled. "Where the fuck are you? I need my car."

"Oh, you want it back? I thought it was a gift," I teased.

"Just bring it back already. Unscathed, mind you!"

"I was just planning to run into the first tree I saw." I rolled my eyes.

"Pretty Boy, don't even joke about that!"

"Freak," I muttered, hanging up. "I have to go. Jasper has been separated for too long from his most prized possession."

"I can't believe you just referred to yourself that way."

"I was talking about his car!"

"He let you drive it?" He rushed to the window, whistling loudly. "Sweet."

"And now he wants it back. So I better go."

Alec walked me out. "Maybe you can borrow it again and we take it for a spin?" He smirked.

"I doubt he'll ever give it to me again. This happened as an apology. Don't ask...you can't understand the way his brain works. I can barely keep up."

"You know your boyfriend should be committed right?"

"And he's the shrink." I laughed. "Well, see you on Monday." I pecked Alec's temple, before sliding behind the wheel.

He waved, grinning from ear to ear. It was so good to see him happy once again.

I drove carefully until the last portion of the way to Jasper's house. The road was empty and I was driving a fucking BMW. I had to _feel_ the car.

It was amazing. The engine roaring, the music pumping loudly in the audio system, my ass vibrating from the car's power...and then I heard it. The sound of sirens.

Jasper was so going to kill me.

I could see his house in the not so far distance.

I pulled over, my heart beating loudly in my chest. My last encounter with the police hadn't been exactly nice, not like an encounter with the police could be pleasant.

After shutting the music off, I rolled the window down. The officer gave me a surprised look, probably thinking yet another teenager with a hot car. He wasn't exactly wrong.

"Good evening, kid."

"Good evening." My voice shook and I hated myself for that.

"Do you have any idea how fast you were going?"

"Forty?" I smiled innocently.

His thumb pointed up.

"Forty five?"

He gestured for me to try higher.

"Fifty?"

"Seventy, young man. So, documents and registration."

"Can I make a phone call?"

"I'm not arresting you."

"It's my boyfriend's car."

The office pursed his lips. "Step out of the vehicle and put your hands where I can see them."

Awesome. Now he was arresting me. "I didn't steal it." I slowly stepped out of the car, just as my phone started ringing.

The cop rolled his eyes. "Fine. But that better be your boyfriend, confirming you didn't steal his car."

"It's him." I grinned, showing him my phone.

The situation was already insane. The police officer allowing me to take a phone call while being arrested. But what topped it, quite literally, was him recognizing Jasper's face on my screen. Must be why he didn't comment when I told him not so vaguely that I was gay.

"Jasper, don't be mad," I answered.

"Oh, I am. Really mad. Mad doesn't even come close to describe how I feel. Stay where you are and sweet talk your way out of it until I get to you."

I squinted in the distance and saw someone walking toward us.

Uh huh. I was in so much trouble.

"I think I can do it." He hung up on me, leaving me smiling bashfully at the cop. "So, Officer, you know Jasper? Small world, huh?"

"Do you _want_ to get arrested, young man?"

"Well, I don't, but I was hoping you'd spare me...since we both know Jasper. You know what I mean?"

He stared at me passively.

Crap. I was getting myself deeper and not in a good way.

Jasper reached us in that moment and I realized he was wearing flip-flops. I had no idea he possessed such hideous footwear.

Ignoring me, he clapped the cop on the back. "Hey, Don. How's it been?"

 _Don_ shook Jasper's hand. "This kid insists you gave him the car."

"I sure did—the biggest mistake of my life."

I pouted, staring at my shoes.

"So he didn't steal it?"

"No, Don. I gave it to him," Jasper said annoyed. "Now, why did you stop him?"

Don explained about my high speed, and Jasper shot me a panicked look. I wanted to hide.

"Get in the car—passenger's seat," he barked at me.

Jasper disappeared toward the cruiser with Don, and I sulked. I did try to see in the rearview mirror what they were doing, but they'd gotten in the car so I couldn't see anything.

When he finally returned, sliding behind the wheel, he looked sweaty and his jeans were unzipped.

Shit.

"Awesome. So you're whoring yourself to save me from getting arrested?"

"Do you want me to punch you?"

"I bet you won't even know how to do it. Besides, punching me would bruise your perfect skin. You'd probably slap me, or scratch me with your nails."

Jasper hit the brakes in front of the house so hard, the wheels squealed.

"Get the fuck inside. I really don't want to take my anger on you."

"So you're angry at me?" I asked, walking toward the house.

"No. Actually, I expected you to do something stupid. The thing is… Just go to your room."

"Excuse me?" I snorted. "You mean... _our_ room?"

Jasper rolled his eyes, but the sudden playfulness disappeared when his phone rang. He breezed past me toward his study, answering.

"What the fuck now? Did you die and are calling me from hell?" There was silence. "Ah, too bad. The answer is still fuck no."

I realized I shouldn't be eavesdropping, but the curiosity was too strong.

I followed him to his study, hovering in the hallway.

"I wired you this morning another two grand. Do I look like a bank to you?"

Was he in some kind of trouble?

It felt like a punch to my stomach. Jasper was in trouble.

"No, I can't come to you." I watched as he gulped down a quarter of a new bottle of whiskey. "Exactly. I can't leave my fancy job. There won't be any more money for your sudden illness . . . The fuck if I care!"

Someone was sick, and Jasper wasn't very nice to them.

He drank some more, pacing around the length of the room. "You should have expected that with the way you drink."

 _Look who's talking_.

Sadly, I must have made some noise because Jasper appeared in front of me. An almost sinister smile appeared on his face. He wrapped an arm around my neck, pulling me closer.

"Aw. I have someone who wants to say hi, Pa. It's the guy I fuck up the ass on a regular basis. Can you believe it? I'm so grown up? I'm thinking of settling down. Now, say hi to Pretty Boy." He thrust the phone in my hand. "Go on, greet Pa."

I stood there frozen. His father. It explained the state he was in.

I knew how much he hated that man.

Rolling his eyes, Jasper put the phone back to his ear. "Guess he's shy."

I could hear shouting from the other end of the line.

"That's a new one. Is that even possible? In that case I truly wish we both go to hell and you get stuck with watching me fuck every hot guy I see there." Jasper hung up, throwing his phone away, before turning me into his arms and kissing me sloppily.

"You're drunk."

"And horny." He bent me over his desk, pushing my pants down and shirt up before licking at my back then down to my crack.

I wasn't exactly opposed to this sudden affection, but I wished he'd talk to me.

I knew a thing or two about issues with my father. Part of me wanted to stop him and make him sit down and talk, but another prominent part wanted to fuck. So I succumbed to his skilled mouth and fingers.


	34. Chapter 34

_Not really sure how to feel about it._   
_Something in the way you move_   
_Makes me feel like I can't live without you._   
_It takes me all the way._   
_I want you to stay_

**Adam Lambert – Stay (cover from Rihanna)**

Jasper became hell to live with, not like it was unicorns and rainbows before, but he was constantly edgy and angry, especially after his father's calls.

I'd managed to pull out of him the wanted information. His dad had liver and kidney failure. The doctors had no idea how long he could live, but that meant Jasper pumping money into his old man. A person he hated.

The end of school brought the dreaded event—prom.

I was the only one not going from our trio. Obviously, Bella was Dylan's date, and Alec had somehow caved and accepted going with Liam. They were kind of cute together.

"You'll regret it in a few years," Jasper said from his spot on the couch, bottle of Beam in hand. That bottle was glued to his hand these days.

"Like you went to yours."

"Sure I did. We didn't flaunt it, but we went together—Pete and I."

"And people didn't say anything?"

"They didn't know. Thankfully, they played normal songs that it didn't matter if you were dancing with your date or friend. We stayed out on the romantic ones, because frankly...that's too lesbianic."

"Of course. Well, I'm not going." I snatched the bottle from his hand, putting it away, before straddling his legs. "I can think of better ways to spend tonight."

"You could blow me."

I frowned at his distant voice. I refused to be only his sexual relief while he got drunk. No.

Sitting on his lap, I took his face in my hands. "How drunk are you? On a scale from one to ten?"

Jasper laughed. "Twenty?"

I snorted. "You'd do anything while you're so drunk?"

"I don't think I like the direction this conversation is taking. I won't bottom for you. Or anyone else, for that matter."

Rolling my eyes, I leaned closer, kissing him. "Of course not. You're the ultimate top."

"Then what the fuck do you want from me?"

Combing my fingers through his hair, I stared into his bright blue eyes. "Well, since you want me so much to go to prom…"

"I'm not THAT drunk, Pretty Boy."

I grabbed the bottle, dangling it in front of him. "Can be helped." We both burst out laughing.

"Seriously?" Jasper took a gulp of the alcohol. "You want me take you to prom?"

"Why not?"

He let his head fall on the back of the couch. "Why? Why did I fucking insist? I should have known you'd blackmail me into this."

"I'm not blackmailing you into anything. Since you brought this up so much...I thought why the hell not. Besides, if I wanted to blackmail you, I'd have blown you, not letting you come, unless you accepted to be my date."

He gaped at me. "I've created a monster."

"Your monster." I kissed him softly. He returned the kiss, grabbing my ass and squeezing.

"When does this thing start?" Jasper asked between kisses along my jaw.

"At six."

"It's seven."

"Fashionably late is in trend."

"I'm not escaping this one, am I?"

"Nope." I grinned. "As much as I was against the idea of going, now I'm all for it. Can you imagine their faces?"

He cringed. "Good thing I'm no longer part of the faculty, then." He helped me up, before taking me to his room. "Since you didn't go suit shopping, I'll have to lend you one. And if there's as much as a wrinkle on it by the end of the night, I'll have you killed."

"Got it." I beamed at him, planting a wet kiss on his mouth.

"Don't do that." He wiped his mouth.

I ended up in a black Gucci suit, which Jasper personally selected for me, pairing it with a slim black tie and a white shirt. His dress shoes were large for me, so I decided to wear my trustworthy black Adidas shoes. They weren't too sporty, so they didn't look off with the suit. Or so I thought.

Jasper freaked when he saw me in the sneakers.

He wore a burgundy red suit, Gucci again and had a light pink shirt, no tie.

On the drive to school, he stared at my feet and cringed, never taking his eyes off my sneakers. I was driving, obviously since he was a bottle of JB too drunk for that activity.

Holding my hand and keeping his head high, he stepped into the restaurant that held our prom. There were tables on either side of the room and in the center was the dance floor. There was a Lady Gaga song playing loudly.

"How appropriate," Jasper muttered, dragging me to the dance floor.

I paid close attention to the lyrics, then chuckled. _Born This Way_.

I could feel eyes on me, but I didn't give a fuck. Until Bella appeared in front of me, her eyes wide.

"You're here!" Disbelief was clear in her voice.

"Changed my mind." I shrugged.

"You convinced him!" She grinned at Jasper.

"I've been bribed with blow jobs."

I swatted at his arm, smiling brightly. "Did I miss anything?"

"Nope. Look, there's Alec." Bella pointed to our side. "ALEC!" She waved to him, gesturing for him to join us.

He approached us, watching me shocked. "Why are you here?"

"I'm a bad influence. I brought him to prom," Jasper answered smoothly. "One dance, then we're off."

"It's all I want." I winked at my friend, turning in Jasper's arms as he moved in a dancing pose.

I'd danced with him hundreds of time at Rainbow, but this was so different. Bella was on my right side with her date, Alec was on my other side—both eyeing me amused.

Jasper squeezed my hand and my side where his left hand was resting, smiling softly. A slow song started, and it didn't take me long to recognize it. Thankfully, it was the cover I loved so much, not the original version.

Jasper smirked, cocking his head to the side. "This little charade just got a golden star from me. They're playing Adam Lambert."

I grinned, resting my head on his shoulder. "I love this song."

_All along it was a fever_

_A cold with high-headed believers_

_I threw my hands in the air I said show me something_

_He said, if you dare come a little closer_

_Round and around and around and around we go_

_Ohhh now tell me now tell me now tell me now you know_

_Not really sure how to feel about it_

_Something in the way you move_

_Makes me feel like I can't live without you_

_It takes me all the way_

_I want you to stay_

"Fitting," he murmured about halfway through the song.

My heart stopped. With that lone word I could hear all his unsaid other words. He wanted me to stay. He didn't want me to go to New York. He couldn't live with me.

I wrapped my arms around his neck, squeezing tight. "I love you," I whispered in his ear.

Jasper returned my hug, before pulling away and twirling me around making me stumble over my feet. He caught me easily, kissing me in front of everyone. For the few seconds we kissed, which felt like years to me, I was in our bubble and nothing could make me happier than Jasper admitting in his own way he'd miss me.

Then someone from across the room shouted, "Fags!" and everyone burst in loud murmurs over our little display.

Jasper, gripped my arm, glaring to someone over my shoulder. It didn't take long for one of my teachers to reach us and start going a mile per minute about the inappropriate behavior, especially coming from Jasper who was a counselor at our school and I was still a student. He had this disgusted look on his face, making me want to punch him.

In his usual calm nature, Jasper reminded my Biology teacher he was no longer part of the staff and that whoever he dated was none of his fucking business. Then linking our fingers, he led me out, but not before kissing me again in front of everyone, for good measure...in case anyone missed the other kiss.

I tried not to think that I'd have to face everyone on Monday. At the moment I was ridiculously happy.

"To Rainbow. You're too pretty not to show off."

"Now I'm your chauffeur?" I joked, bumping into him.

Jasper peered down at me thoughtfully, keeping an arm around my shoulders. A smile stretched on his face—the first in many, many days. "You're my partner."

I nearly face-planted. I was his what? It was time to use cotton swabs, because my hearing was deceiving me.

"Huh?" I stared at him in confusion.

He rolled his eyes, his jaw set. "For fuck's sake, Pretty Boy. Every time I say something you wanted to hear for ages…you act all surprised."

"I…you mean it?"

"No, I just said it because I love hearing my own voice."

"That's a plausible explanation." I quickly kissed him before he could start complaining some more. "Now, can we combine the words I wanted to hear for so long? Like…I love you, partner?"

He tugged at my ear playfully. "Did you drink from my bottle too?"

"Now, you're going to ruin the moment. Get in the car." I gave him a shove to the passenger's side.

When we were in the car on the way to Rainbow, Jasper turned to me, grinning from ear to ear. "I do love hearing my voice."

I burst out laughing. Trust him to pick on that. "Does it turn you on too?"

"Sometimes…if I talk dirty things."

"God, I live with a creep."

He leaned closer, mocking my earlier comment about his monster. "Your creep." Then he slobbered my cheek, before retreating to his side of the car.

I knew this drunk, playful, horny Jasper and I loved him. I preferred him to the asshole drunk I had to endure for weeks now.

**oOo**

We were too dressed-up for clubbing and everyone stepped aside when we arrived at Rainbow. I was surprised Jasper didn't freak about ruining his reputation.

At the bar, he ordered more whiskey. While he looked around probably for Peter, I told the bartender to add some soda in that whiskey and to give me one too. He nodded, mouthing to me that it was my call if Jasper started bitching. I winked, before leaning into Jasper's side.

"Are we too early?" I asked, realizing there weren't many people. "Do you think they went to Edom again?"

"There's no such thing as too early, Edward. It's probably too fucking hot to get out of the house."

"You got out of the house," I pointed out.

"I've been bribed to do so, and I expect you on your knees in the Backroom after a few shots of whiskey."

Remembering about his order, he grabbed his glass placed behind him on the counter, and downed it. As he swallowed, his eyes grew dark blue as they narrowed in my direction. I smiled innocently.

"I fucking hate whiskey with Coke. _Hate_ it."

"More for me?" I laughed, grabbing the other glass and sipping from me.

"Why the fuck did I do to deserve to be stuck with such an inconsiderate partner?"

My heart fluttered as he said that word again. "Should I remind you? Your lighter wasn't working. My mom brought me up very polite. I offered to light your smoke."

His eyes widened. "I did create a monster. You weren't so fucking brazen when we met."

"People change." I shrugged.

"Why so dressy?" Garrett asked, appearing at our side with Riley.

Riley gasped, clapping as if he was on some big secret. "Don't tell me! Let me guess."

Jasper tipped his empty glass to the bartender. "Make it scotch now, minus that shit you added." Once his glass was filled, he returned to Riley, gulping from his fresh drink. "Now you can say whatever crazy thing your brain has concocted."

"You got married!"

My whiskey with soda flew out my nose as I choked on my drink. Jasper was thumping on his chest, in a similar position as me.

"I'll take their reaction as a no," Garrett said quietly.

"Hell to the NO! Why the fuck would you say such a thing, you cunt!" Jasper glared at Riley.

"Who knows, maybe we can add new words to that forbidden list," I teased Jasper. His eyes told me to not even joke about it, so I dropped it.

Truth to be told, the idea of marriage freaked me too, and we hadn't mentioned such a thing, ever. It was enough to extract the much wanted ILY and recently partner from him, but marriage. No way. That would probably equal with death in Jasper's book.

"What's with the freaked out looks? And why are you dressed so formal?" Peter joined our little group, his arm around some guy.

It was probably the first time I actually saw him with someone. I knew he had to get his rocks off somewhere, somehow, but I'd never actually seen him with anyone.

Apparently, Jasper was as surprised. "Whoa! So this one's worth introducing to your friends?"

The guy turned red, looking anywhere but at us.

"I wouldn't know. We just met, then I saw you in here wearing a suit. Did someone die?"

Jasper laughed, throwing his head back. "See, Rile? That's a decent idea...not that dreaded M word." He shuddered for good measure. "And to answer you, no one died. We went to prom."

Peter's eyes widened, and he leaned against the counter for support. "You're joking!"

"Nope. We gave them quite the show, and of course they liked it so much they kicked us out. We outshined everyone." Jasper smiled warmly at me.

I smiled back, kissing his cheek.

"So tell us about your hot date." Jasper nodded to the guy still tucked under Peter's arm.

Said arm tightened around the prey and eyes narrowed at his friend as if telling him to back off. I could see it in Jasper's eyes. He wanted that guy, but he wasn't going to have him. He was Peter's. And I was there for a reason.

"I'll brief you in the morning," Peter muttered.

I seized Jasper hand, making his eyes turn to me. "Backroom? I owe you a blow job." I smiled innocently.

"I've changed my mind. I'm still going to kill you if you as much as wrinkle my suit. And you blowing me will counterpoint to your promise. It can wait until we get home and you're out of my favorite Gucci suit."

"He looooves you!" Riley sang off-tune. "He gave you his favorite suit. Gucci, no less."

Jasper took a menacing step to Riley, hands fisted at his sides, but something made him stop. "Let's go," he barked at me.

"Fuck you, too," I growled to Riley. "I'll have to deal with sour Jasper."

"Today." Jasper grabbed me by the collar, dragging me out.

"You know he didn't mean anything. He just said it. He's Riley, for fuck's sake." I tried to keep up with his long strides as he walked determined to the car.

"He's Riley, all right. Fuck him and his cheerful self. I don't care if all he wants in life is a steady relationship, marriage and babies. He can have it, as long as he doesn't inflict it on other people. I. Don't. Want. That. EVER!"

I bit my tongue so hard I tasted blood. I didn't want to remind him the term _partner_ implied a mature, steady relationship, and _I love you_ mean real commitment. No.

"Why are you so upset? You were fine earlier," I changed the subject. "Is it because Peter got someone and he didn't share?"

"Can you shut the fuck up?"

"Jasper…"

He finally turned to me as we reached the car. "All I want right now is to get home, fuck, sleep then fuck some more. This time, next week, I won't be here."

I frowned, not understanding anything. As I opened my mouth to ask, he waved a hand dismissively.

"I'm going to see the old man. And suffocate him with a pillow so if I don't come back I've been arrested."

I wanted to laugh, but his eyes told me he was serious. Maybe not that serious, but serious enough about going to his hometown.

"When are you coming back?"

"No idea."

As we stared at each other, a feeling of dread coursed through me. What if I didn't get to see him again? The school ended in two weeks.

"Come on," he said gently, opening the passenger's door.

I knew as much, we weren't going to discuss this further, and it fucking terrified me.


	35. Chapter 35

_New York City_   
_Such a beautiful disease_   
_New York City_   
_Such a beautiful,_   
_Such a beautiful disease_

**Norah Jones – New York City**

On graduation day I was the saddest of all students and parents combined from around me, but not because high school ended. Jasper hadn't returned, nor was he answering the phone when I called. I tried finding out about him through Peter, but he didn't tell me much.

_Jazz is fine, don't worry about him._

Once the long ceremony was over, my parents along with Bella's parents and Alec's aunts took us to a restaurant downtown. It didn't take long for Dad and his comments toward Jane and Sophie to make an appearance.

Just as I was about to snap at him to shut the fuck up because no one forced him to be there, my phone rang. Jasper.

I got up so fast, my chair toppled over. On the way outside to the restaurant, for some privacy, I answered.

"At last!" I groaned with relief.

"Miss me?" He chuckled, but I could tell it was strained.

"A lot. I'm bored in your big house. And thanks for leaving the car."

"I hope you're being careful."

"Yup. I didn't go over sixty."

"Good boy."

Silence stretched between us.

"So how's—"

"Tell me about—"

We both started laughing.

"You go first," we said at the same time.

"God, I hate when this happens," he muttered.

"When will be back?" I might have whined, but I missed him terribly.

"Whenever the old man keels over." He chuckled. "Joking, or am I? Whatever. I remembered it was the big day so…"

"You decided to call?"

"Yes. Congratulations!"

A lump formed in my throat. "I'm leaving for New York on Sunday."

"So soon?" He sounded surprised. "I thought…"

"I need to get settled in. Jane knew someone there and I can live with them until I find a job and have my own money to rent a small studio or something."

"I'd have helped you. Who are you staying with? I can't allow you to live with a dyke."

I laughed, taking a shaky breath. "It's a guy she knew in college. I don't know."

"You don't know?" He turned hysterical, reminding me of Mom's reaction to the news of living with Jane's friend. "Pretty Boy, that guy could be a serial killer."

" _You_ could have been a serial killer, but I took my chances and went home with you that night. Stop being paranoid. You need a Xanax, just like my mom."

"I want you to be careful!"

"I am! Stop worrying."

"I still don't like this situation. When I return, I'll find you a place."

"Really? What about not talking once I leave the Pitts?"

"I realized it's crap. I miss you too much."

"You do?" My heart tripled in size. He missed me.

He hummed in agreement.

"You okay?" I asked tentatively, unsure how to ask if he was okay.

"I'm sure you don't fully understand the meaning of the word loathe, but that's exactly what I feel. And it's so fucking annoying because I want to punch him and leave him calling for help when he's in pain, a tiny part of me knows he's my last relative alive—my father. Or whatever the fuck should I call him."

"I have sperm donor problems too in case you forgot."

"Edward, you don't hate him as much as I do mine." There was a commotion on his end of the line. "Fuck, I have to go, Pretty Boy."

"Thanks for calling."

"Have fun! Go to Rainbow tonight, or tomorrow."

"One last hurrah? Nah. You're not here," I mumbled pathetically.

"Take Alec with you."

"Really? You'd be okay with that?"

"Have fun, Pretty Boy. Shit! And FUCK YOU TOO, ASSHOLE!" The call disconnected.

I felt so bad for him having to endure being with his dad. I'd never accept such a thing. If my dad needed me for whatever reason, he wasn't going to see anything from me.

When I turned to walk back inside the restaurant, I saw Alec hovering in the doorway. He gave me a tense smile.

"Party's over. Your dad managed to ruin the evening."

"That's not a surprise." I sighed. "Did he leave?"

"Not yet. And…didn't you tell him about Auntie finding you a place to live?"

"No way! Alec!" I moaned, feeling faint. "You told him that?"

"Auntie Jane mentioned you living with her friend there…and he asked what the hell she was talking about then glared at your mom who looked like she'd rather be elsewhere."

"Fuck."

"I'm sorry, honey."

"It's not your fault." I rubbed the back of my neck. "Shit!" I gasped, staring at Alec in horror as unwelcomed tears sprang into my eyes. "My… my…tuition. He won't pay for college!" I was going to hyperventilate and faint. I couldn't locate my lungs.

Alec was by my side in a flash, one hand rubbing my back.

Dad chose that moment to storm out of the restaurant. He was red in the face probably from yelling, and Mom was a step behind equally flustered. His eyes found me and turned ice cold.

"I made the mistake to wire enough money into your account so you can pay for your first year. It's all you get. I don't want to ever see or hear about you!"

 _The feeling is mutual_ , I sneered in my head. But on the outside I was a mess—shaking and breathing harshly.

"Come on, Esme. I forbid you to associate with his kind!"

"My kind?" I exploded, not recognizing my voice.

He refused to answer as he breezed past me with one hand gripping Mom's elbow. She glanced at me, but kept walking. It proved to me all the times she'd tried making peace with me were in a vain attempt to keep the family together. When everything fell apart, she stuck to the abuser. I didn't care. I couldn't let myself care, even though she was my mother. She'd never given two shits about me, why should I about her?

They never cared.

Not when I stumbled and fell down the stairs when I was little.

Not when I nearly got hit by a car when my ball rolled in the street while playing in the front yard.

Not when one of them stood aside while the other yelled at me for whatever reason. They even sided against me sometimes.

Not when I came top of my class at the end of school. I was fucking nine back then and so fucking ecstatic. They ruined my day.

Not when I became a teenager and was trying to understand how the fuck I should act, why did I like guys instead of girls.

Not when I lived with Jasper, when I had left their house.

If I came to think of it, they only cared once—when I told them I was queer. I wasn't the son they wanted and they heard me loud and clear, and made it their life mission to torment me.

With my parents gone, I went back inside with Alec. Jane got up and engulfed me in a big hug, apologizing.

I shook out of her embrace, grabbing my stuff. "I'm going."

**oOo**

On Saturday night, I used my fake ID for probably the last time in Pittsburgh.

The bouncer at Rainbow stopped me on the way inside. "Where's Jasper? Haven't seen him in a while."

At first, I was shocked he was talking to me, then I shrugged walking past him. "Personal problems."

It was a bad idea to say those words, because knowing Jasper people could think the worst. If that got the queers in Rainbow to get tested, all the better. I thought of the only time Jasper dragged me to the hospital to have his six months test and how he pushed me to do it too. He promised it was all confidential.

Missing him more than ever, I propped my elbows on the bar, ordering a JB. The bartender snorted, but poured whiskey in a glass, and he also offered me a can of Coke. Ah, he already knew how I liked it.

"Look who the cat dragged in," Peter drawled from behind me, placing a hand on my shoulder.

I shrugged him off, downing the contents of my glass. "Another!" I shouted.

"Graduating is a good reason to celebrate."

"Peter, spare me. Can you babysit me from afar? I know you talked to Jasper, and he put you up to this."

"You talk to him?" He sounded surprised, turning me around. His wide, curious eyes proved me they hadn't spoken in some time. "Besides, talking to him or not, I'd still keep an eye on you. You're his boyfriend."

"Am I?"

He rolled his eyes, ordering a beer, and leaning next to me, looking at the dancing bodies a few feet away. "I haven't seen Jasper here in some time. And every time he came, he was with you, spent the whole time with you and left with you. Isn't that what boyfriends do?"

"He doesn't do the boyfriend thing," I mumbled, pouring some cola in my new drink. "Though, he said we're partners."

"He did?" Peter looked impressed. "Where the hell were you hiding when I've been trying to explain to him all the good reasons to settle down?"

"Probably in elementary school?"

We shared a laugh over that, before he bent his head, his lips to my ear. "He really loves you, you know that? Don't fuck it up."

My heart clenched. I was going to fuck it up. I was leaving.

"Do you think he'll visit me?" I asked fearfully.

Peter frowned. "Are you going to prison? Who did you kill? I'm sure Jasper will love to visit you in that private little room."

"I'm going to Juilliard." After staring at each other for a long time, I realized Jasper hadn't confided in his best friend of my upcoming departure. "You didn't know."

"Does Jazz know?"

"Of course!"

"Why didn't he tell me?" Peter took a long gulp from his beer, looking sullen.

"Because I'm his partner and not yours?" I teased, but his ice cold glare sobered me. "Make sure he doesn't forget me. I'll be back."

"Why the fuck will you be back? You're going to the best music school in the world. You'll become a success and play for prestigious operas. I'm sure Jasper agrees with me on this matter—I'll personally beat you with a stick if you return to this shit place!"

"B-but…" Tears sprung in my eyes. "Ja…asp…er." I sobbed.

"Yeah, what about him? He'll survive."

"I won't! I don't want to break up!"

"Edward, how many times have you spent time apart from Jasper? When you saw each other again it was like that time didn't exist. Why should this time be any different? Go to New York, become a success, live your life…and _visit_."

"I don't want to _visit_! I want to live here, share my life with Jasper, come back home to him every night!"

Peter eyed me impressed. "You really love him."

"Gee. What gave me away?" I wiped at my nose, downing the rest of my drink.

As I was about to get lost in the crowd, he grabbed my arm. He finished his beer in a few longs gulps then pulled me to the dancing bodies. I had no idea I could have fun with Peter, but there we were in the middle of Rainbow, bumping and grinding, forgetting everything about what next day brought.

Late into the night, Peter drove me back to Jasper's, in Jasper's BMW and he stayed the night.

I couldn't sleep. I tossed and turned in Jasper's big bed, thoughts of leaving and staying zooming through my head. Dawn was breaking when I gave up the agony of sleeping.

I found Peter on the front step in front of the house, smoking and watching the rising sun. I sat next to him and we shared the cigarette, not talking. At some point, tears started rolling down my cheeks, and he simply, wrapped an arm around me, holding me close.

Over breakfast, courtesy to him, he offered to drive me to the airport. I tried to tell him not to bother, because I wanted to stop by and say goodbye to Bella and Alec, and he said he was my chauffer for the day.

Tearful goodbyes were the worst. Bella sobbed in my neck for a good fifteen minutes before she pulled away. She'd decided to go to Stanford with Dylan. Since she got in freaking Stanford, I told her to go for it. And of course, Dylan was there.

Then there was Alec. He was more reserved than I thought he'd be. After an one-armed hug, he took a step back, shoving his hands in his pockets and staring at his sneakers.

"We'll talk, sweetie. Every day," I promised.

"Sure."

"I'll tell you all about what's so fabulous about New York."

"Yeah."

"Alec, don't be like this." I tugged one of his hands from his pocket. "Here." Without thinking too much, I unfastened the leather bracelet from Jasper, and tied it around Alec's wrist. "Think of me."

He eyed the bracelet dubiously. "This is yours."

"It's yours now. I'll miss you, Alec." I kissed his cheek fondly.

His arms wrapped around me. "What if Jasper sees it? We might run into each other."

"I don't need a piece of leather to remind me we love each other. He's here." I pointed to my chest. "But you, every time you miss me, look at that and remember I miss you too."

At the airport, I almost got tackled by an overexcited Riley, scolding me for thinking of leaving without saying goodbye.

Riley and Peter stayed with me until I had to check-in. I hugged them tightly, before slowly taking my spot in line.

When I had only a few persons in front of me, I craned my neck to see what I had to take off and what to do.

I had taken my belt off when I heard shouts and complaints from behind me. Confused, I turned to see what the fuck had happened….and nearly died.

A disheveled Jasper was making his way through the line, pushing everyone aside. He stopped in front of my frozen self, then picked me up. I wrapped my legs around his waist, letting the belt clatter to the floor as I gripped at his golden locks.

He barked a loud laughed, smashing his mouth onto mine. "I thought I lost you when I didn't find you home."

"I'm here," I whispered, kissing him furiously.

It didn't matter we were in the middle of the airport.

We stopped only when the security man asked whether I was leaving or not. I was surprised to see everyone had passed and I was the only one left.

"Give me a minute," I told him, before pressing my forehead to Jasper's. "We'll talk," I said firmly.

"All the time. I already miss you."

I ran my fingers though his matted hair. I had so many questions for him, but there was no time.

"I love you." I kissed his mouth repetitively, memorizing the texture of his lips.

"Pretty Boy," he murmured.

We grinned like two lunatics as he spun me around, before placing me down. I quickly gathered my belt from the floor, put it on the magnetic band and passed the gate. It blared making me laugh.

The security guy shook his head. "Keys, young man."

"Right. KEYS!" I gasped, throwing Jasper his keys. "Oops. It would have been a good reason for you to come after me."

"And phone," the security guy added just as I was about to cross the gate again.

This time, metal free, I was safe on the other side.

Gathering my backpack and belt and phone, I turned to smile at Jasper. "Love you."

"Go, learn something!" He joked, but I could tell he was on the verge of tears.

"I'll play you a new composition for Christmas," I called over my shoulder.

"Looking forward to it!" he shouted after me. "And Pretty Boy?"

I walked backwards, keeping my eyes on him and grinning.

"I love you!"

My grin grew tenfold, but they were calling my plane so with one last look at him, I walked away.

If we never saw each other again, which I highly doubted now—he'd come after me—I wanted to remember love glowing from him as he stared at me like he'd never seen me before.


	36. Chapter 36

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pay attention to the names in the email and the dates. ;) The whole chapter is a big e-mail exchange and it covers a lot of Edward's first few months in New York.

_Did you get my card?_   
_Did you read my love letter?_   
_Did it touch your heart?_   
_When you read my love letter_

_I hope these,_   
_Hope these words find you in the perfect mood_   
_I wrote this letter according to my love for you_   
_So I hope this paper will travel safely to where you are_   
_Because the melody is custom made for your heart_   
_Though near or far I will find a way to send my love_   
_Only pray that it don't come back return to sender_   
_If you are reading this I hope that things are well_   
_And you can text me back, you can write me back_   
_Just check your mail_

**R Kelly – Love Letter**

**From:** Edward Cullen

 **To:** Jasper Whitlock

 **Date:** August 7, 2014 at 11:45 AM

 **Subject:** PRESENT :-)

Doctor Whitlock,

I'm going crazy in the big city. I need a visit from a professional I know.

Check your mail box in a few days. By mail box I mean that rectangular thing in front of your house. Or maybe you'll have to go to the post office to get it up? (haha! See what I did there?) Not really sure how this works.

You're never going to believe where I found work! You'll freak!

Love,

Edward

PS: Did I mention the disadvantage of living with a drag queen is she likes everything spotless? I might have dropped tomato sauce on the couch (light yellow, mind you) and she screamed at me for half an hour straight. Then I made the mistake to remind her (or is it him? It's still confusing how to address Seth, and I know him for months. I mean I met him once a long time ago…but…back to the point.) Where was I? Right, I reminded her she needs her voice to sing and I got another lecture.

 

 **From:** Jasper Whitlock

 **To:** Edward Cullen

 **Date:** August 7, 2014 at 2:02 PM

 **Subject:** RE: PRESENT :-)

Pretty Boy,

Long time, no talk (insert sarcasm). How many e-mails do you have to send me every day? I think you topped all records yesterday. Near 100?

Post office? Does that thing still exist? Anyway, what are you sending me?

You found work in a place that would make me freak? Do I need a plane ticket to spank some sense into you?

And stop complaining about your housemate. I know you like him deep down inside.

By the way, Alec showed me the video when you and Seth got drunk and sang. You're quite adorable.

Jasper Whitlock

PsyD at Brandon, Peterson & Whitlock Clinic

 

 **From:** Edward Cullen

 **To:** Jasper Whitlock

 **Date:** August 7, 2014 at 2:10 PM

 **Subject:** RE: PRESENT :-)

It's a surprise! I know you hate them. I still remember your last birthday, but can you be a good sport this year? And I know there's another week or so until the fateful day, but I had to get this to you.

WHAT? Alec showed you the video? The fuck? I'm gone for a little over a month and you're suddenly good buddies with my best friend? Nah. I'm not too upset. I'm good buddies with your bestie too. :-P

As for the job…well, I'm working at the club Seth sings. I wait tables. Isn't that cool? I get lots of hefty tips because I'm cute.

I miss you. You love the 100+ emails from me. Don't complain.

Love you,

Edward

 

 **From:** Jasper Whitlock

 **To:** Edward Cullen

 **Date:** August 7, 2014 at 2:25 PM

 **Subject:** RE: PRESENT :-)

Pretty Boy,

Stop distracting me. I have work to do.

And if you need me professionally, you need to make an appointment. And I ain't cheap. Capisce?

Jasper Whitlock

PsyD at Brandon, Peterson & Whitlock Clinic

 

 **From:** Jasper Whitlock

 **To:** Edward Cullen

 **Date:** August 11, 2014 at 7:10 AM

 **Subject:** wow

I hope you're waking up to this email, Pretty Boy. It's going to ruin your day, just like you ruined mine. I fucking hate Mondays and surprises!

Do I look like a fucking BREEDER to you? How the fuck do you even have pictures of me? No, don't tell me. Your new BBF, Peter Peterson. And Riley, that traitor.

There is a reason there are NO _personal effects in my empty, dull office_. I'm not Riley to decorate every available space just because it's pretty to have colors in your life. Monochromy rules.

Jasper Whitlock

PsyD at Brandon, Peterson & Whitlock Clinic

 

 **From:** Jasper Whitlock

 **To:** Edward Cullen

 **Date:** August 11, 2014 at 7:13 AM

 **Subject:** wow

You know the digital picture frame is sitting on my desk and I'm staring at the photos you put there and I miss you more than I thought possible.

Jasper Whitlock

PsyD at Brandon, Peterson & Whitlock Clinic

 

 **From:** Edward Cullen

 **To:** Jasper Whitlock

 **Date:** August 11, 2014 at 12:12 PM

 **Subject:** RE: wow

I just woke up. Thankfully, I read the second email first.

I knew you'd like it.

Talk to you later…much later…when I'm human again and when my head has stopped pounding.

 

 **From:** Jasper Whitlock

 **To:** Edward Cullen

 **Date:** August 11, 2014 at 12:15 AM

 **Subject:** GASP

You've been drinking, Mr. Cullen?

Waking up at noon….ah, these were the days.

Now (or when your hangover is cured) tell me all the details. Was he hot? Did you think of poor little me when you fucked him?

Jasper Whitlock

PsyD at Brandon, Peterson & Whitlock Clinic

 

 **From:** Edward Cullen

 **To:** Jasper Whitlock

 **Date:** August 11, 2014 at 5:29 PM

 **Subject:** RE: GASP

I must still be asleep. What the fuck are you talking about?

Who did I fuck? I've been slaving (in a BAD way) at Sirens. That's the club Seth sings at. Nikki was sick with flu (in the summer, I KNOW. She's one of a kind.) I took a double shift and got home at six. And crashed.

I was hoping you were fucking enough for both of us. Or are we exclusive? We still need to define our relationship…partnership….whatever.

Edward

 

 **From:** Jasper Whitlock

 **To:** Edward Cullen

 **Date:** August 11, 2014 at 5:45 PM

 **Subject:** RE: GASP

Oh, sucks for you. Don't overwork yourself. I hope this job is for now—until school starts. I forbid you to work and go to college.

Jasper Whitlock (Pretty Boy's partner)

PsyD at Brandon, Peterson & Whitlock Clinic

 

 **From:** Edward Cullen

 **To:** Jasper Whitlock

 **Date:** August 11, 2014 at 5:50 PM

 **Subject:** RE: GASP

I'm squealing! I saw the change in your name.

Can I call you? I miss your voice, and the last we spoke you turned to conversation into phone sex. Not complaining, but you know…

And you don't get to order me around. Of course I'll keep my job.

Edward (Goldilocks' partner)

 

 **From:** Jasper Whitlock

 **To:** Edward Cullen

 **Date:** August 11, 2014 at 5:55 PM

 **Subject:** RE: GASP

What did you just call me? Don't make me come there and spank you, little boy.

No phone calls for the naughty twink.

Jasper Whitlock (Pretty Boy's partner)

PsyD at Brandon, Peterson & Whitlock Clinic

 

 **From:** Edward Cullen

 **To:** Jasper Whitlock

 **Date:** August 11, 2014 at 5:58 PM

 **Subject:** RE: GASP

Promise, promises.

Goldilocks. Whitlock Goldilocks. It rhythms.

Edward (Goldilocks' partner)

 

 **From:** Jasper Whitlock

 **To:** Edward Cullen

 **Date:** August 11, 2014 at 5:00 PM

 **Subject:** RE: GASP

Immature little brat.

Jasper Whitlock (Pretty Boy's partner)

PsyD at Brandon, Peterson & Whitlock Clinic

 

 **From:** Edward Cullen

 **To:** Alec Lerman

 **Date:** August 25, 2014 at 1:25 PM

 **Subject:** OMG

Alec, I still can't believe Jasper brought you here.

See? He's not so bad.

It was THE BEST weekend I had here so far. I already miss you. Next time you come, we'll go to Broadway. It's your dream, after all. Just the two of us. I promise.

Send me all the pics you took!

Hugs and kisses,

Edward (Goldilocks' partner)

PS: I'm really sorry for the mess. We weren't expecting guests. I hope you didn't have a terrible time sharing the room with Seth. Again, I'm sorry.

PPS: Kiss your aunts from me. And thank Jane again for finding me a great housemate. Small world, huh? Told you, you'd remember Seth from Rainbow.

 

 **From:** Edward Cullen

 **To:** Jasper Whitlock

 **Date:** August 25, 2014 at 1:40 PM

 **Subject:** my darling

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

That was one amazing surprise! God, I still can't believe you were here! You have no idea how happy I am!

And you brought Alec along. Have I mentioned how much I love you, Jasper? A LOT.

Make sure to take some of the pictures he took and complete the collection on your birthday present.

Love,

Edward (Goldilocks' partner) — that's you, in case you forgot

 

 **From:** Jasper Whitlock

 **To:** Edward Cullen

 **Date:** August 25, 2014 at 2:30 PM

 **Subject:** my darling crazy TWINK

(note the change in the subject, _dear_ )

I'm glad I could surprise you. It took a lot of persuasion on my part to convince the dykes to allow little Alec to accompany me. Of course, no one is immune to my charming personality, not even the great scary munchers.

You're coming home for Christmas. That's a request.

Jasper Whitlock (Pretty Boy's partner)

PsyD at Brandon, Peterson & Whitlock Clinic

 

 **From:** Jasper Whitlock

 **To:** Peter Peterson

 **Date:** August 25, 2014 at 3:10 PM

 **Subject:** stop calling

I've been crazy busy since I got in my office.

Beer. Tonight. Rainbow.

Jasper Whitlock (Pretty Boy's partner)

PsyD at Brandon, Peterson & Whitlock Clinic

 

 **From:** Peter Peterson

 **To:** Jasper Whitlock

 **Date:** August 25, 2014 at 3:15 PM

 **Subject:** RE: stop calling

Excuse me for being worried for you. The last time you took off without a word was because your dear old pa needed you. Did you go down there again?

Why did you have the phone off over the weekend?

And seriously? Pretty Boy's partner? Can you be any more obvious?

Peter Peterson

PsyD at Brandon, Peterson & Whitlock Clinic

 

 **From:** Jasper Whitlock

 **To:** Peter Peterson

 **Date:** August 25, 2014 at 5:48 PM

 **Subject:** SHIT

You're forbidden to tell anyone about the change in my name! Fuck. It was stupid do put it there to begin with.

Seeing it's almost six, meet me at my car? I'll tell you all about my weekend over a Leffe. It's not as bad as you expect.

Jasper Whitlock

PsyD at Brandon, Peterson & Whitlock Clinic

 

 **From:** Jasper Whitlock

 **To:** Edward Cullen

 **Date:** August 25, 2014 at 5:52 PM

 **Subject:** PRETTY BOY

Why didn't you say I still had that silly addition to my name? Pete is never going let it go! NEVER! You have no idea how insistent he can be.

Fuck.

Wish me luck. I'm going to explain why I haven't been around this weekend.

Jasper Whitlock

PsyD at Brandon, Peterson & Whitlock Clinic

 

 **From:** Peter Peterson

 **To:** Jasper Whitlock

 **Date:** August 25, 2014 at 5:55 PM

 **Subject:** RE: SHIT

See you at the car, Pretty Boy's partner. You're never going to hear the end of this.

I'm happy for you, by the way.

Are you on the way to the car? You know I hate waiting.

Peter Peterson

PsyD at Brandon, Peterson & Whitlock Clinic

 

 **From:** Edward Cullen

 **To:** Jasper Whitlock

 **Date:** August 25, 2014 at 10:45 PM

 **Subject:** RE: PRETTY BOY

WOW. You afraid of Peter? No way! Btw, sorry. Just saw this since I took an early shift. I hate early shifts. I miss all the fun.

Now I'm home like a good little boy. (I'm onto you! I know you talked to Sammy to change my schedule. I hate you.)

I hope you have fun with Peter.

Love,

Edward (in solitude for you, I'm dropping the nickname too)

 

 **From:** Edward Cullen

 **To:** Jasper Whitlock

 **Date:** October 10, 2014 at 11:55 PM

 **Subject:** hi

What's up? You haven't answered my last ten hundred emails? Get bored?

Let me know if you're okay.

I'm well. Classes are going well.

I miss you.

Call me, Jasper. Please.

Love,

Edward

 

 **From:** Edward Cullen

 **To:** Peter Peterson

 **Date:** October 29, 2014 at 7:32 AM

 **Subject:** Peter!

You're my last hope. By the way, it took a lot of skill to find your email. (Thank God Jasper forwarded me of these funny video you sent him some time ago)

I didn't write to tell you about your videos.

Where the fuck is Jasper? We haven't talked in over a month! Is he okay? Is he sick of me? Can't he just tell me it's over like a normal person, and not act like ten year old?

Tell me he's okay, Peter. (You should answer your phone too, btw) I don't call just to hear your voice.

Edward (very concerned)

 

 **From:** Peter Peterson

 **To:** Edward Cullen

 **Date:** October 29, 2014 at 8:03 AM

 **Subject:** RE: Peter!

Stop worrying, kiddo. Jazz is fine.

He's been crazy busy. His old man finally snuffed it. So he's been home doing all the preparations needed.

And since he returned we've been interviewing people to replace Alice.

I'll let him know you asked of him.

Take care!

Peter Peterson

PsyD at Brandon, Peterson & Whitlock Clinic

 

 **From:** Edward Cullen

 **To:** Peter Peterson

 **Date:** October 29, 2014 at 8:10 AM

 **Subject:** RE: Peter!

Oh shit! I guess he's upset to some extent. That man was his father, right? Tell him to call me, please.

And why are you replacing Alice? Is she okay?

Edward

 

 **From:** Peter Peterson

 **To:** Edward Cullen

 **Date:** October 29, 2014 at 8:16 AM

 **Subject:** RE: Peter!

He's going to call you in five so you better answer. I hope you're not in class.

Alice is going to leave on maternity break in a few months. Don't tell me Jasper didn't tell you. You didn't hear it from me, but he agreed with her crazy idea. Seriously. You didn't hear it from me.

Peter Peterson

PsyD at Brandon, Peterson & Whitlock Clinic

 

 **From:** Jasper Whitlock

 **To:** Edward Cullen

 **Date:** December 20, 2014 at 11:52 PM

 **Subject:** sweet pea

Did you get my last email with your plane ticket?

In other news, you'll never guess who I bumped into at the store! Your mother! Did that get your attention?

Are you sleeping? Considering it's midnight, I bet you are.

Or are you making me proud?

I might be drunk, because I just saw what I wrote in the subject line. I'm sure you're laughing right now.

Anyway…I'll try sleeping in my big, cold, empty bed. I miss you. A lot.

It was a mistake to let you go to New York. Fuck it! I can't do this, Pretty Boy.

Sappy Jasper

Sent from Android

 

 **From:** Edward Cullen

 **To:** Jasper Whitlock

 **Date:** December 21, 2014 at 9:05 AM

 **Subject:** Sappy blond god

I miss you too, you fool!

Yes, I got the ticket. First class, really? I must have done something right to get such a nice present.

I'm all packed and Seth will drive me to the airport later. Are you going to wait for me with one of these cardboard signs? But don't write Pretty Boy on it. Who knows how many pretty boys you'll attract that way? With my luck, I'll find you swamped in pretty boys and I'll have to beat them away.

Of course I was sleeping when I got your last email, and the previous three. You shouldn't drink and email. Seriously. You'll be so embarrassed when you re-read them. One of them was filled with many "I love you" and heart emoticons.

I love you too! I can't wait until tonight. Seven this evening can't come fast enough.

Your sweet pea (you had it coming)

PS: your first email (I think you were still sober), you said something about a present. I'm excited to see it!


	37. Chapter 37

_Please come home for Christmas_   
_(Please come home)_   
_If not for Christmas by New Year's night_

**Bon Jovi – Please Come Home For Christmas**

To make the waiting worse than it already was, the plane had to circle over the airport many times until it had permission to land. At some point, I was sure we were turning back to New York, or maybe a nearby airport. But thankfully, an hour after the scheduled time, we landed safely.

The check-out and baggage claim were torturous, but finally, finally I made it into the waiting area of the airport. I was searching for my phone to call Jasper to make sure he hadn't ditched me after the long wait when my eyes landed on a small group.

A huge smile spread on my face when I saw Riley dressed in a short, white fur coat. He was holding a large cardboard sign reading: WELCOME HOME, PRETTY BOY!

I turned fifty shades of red as I made my way to them, dragging the suitcase after me, along with my violin case.

Getting closer, I saw Peter and Garrett behind Riley. They seemed deep in discussion but stopped when they noticed me. There was Alec too, with a grin to match my own. But no Jasper.

I tried not to let my heart sink too deeply.

"You're here!" Alec was the first to break from the group. He crashed into me, squeezing the air out of my lungs. "Edward!"

"H-hi!" I choked out, patting his back. "Easy there. Sheesh. What are Jane and Sophie feeding you?"

He pulled away, smiling sheepishly. "I went to the gym with Liam."

"Good for you!" I kissed his cheek. I was so happy he'd finally found someone. Who would have thought a persistent kid like Liam was the answer to Alec's loveless life?

I was snatched into another bone-crashing hug, this time by Riley who'd ditched the sign. Then Peter patted my back, smiling at me warmly, and even Garrett shook my hand.

Before I could ask of Jasper's whereabouts, I was lifted from behind, flipped over then a cold mouth pressed against mine. I sagged into his arms, welcoming all things Jasper—his cologne, his cigarette smell, his cold hands and face, the snow in his hair.

"Pretty Boy," he murmured between kisses, his hands moving everyone.

I moaned, deepening the kiss. His tongue curled around mine, making me buck into him. I needed him. Now. I couldn't wait until home, but we were in the middle of the airport.

I almost had a vision of us in the men's room, but as if reading my mind, Jasper pulled away, smirking. "You're home."

That lone word made my stomach do a somersault. _Home_.

For a long time I wasn't sure if I still had a home, but Jasper was my home, as cheesy as that sounded.

His cold thumb rubbed my cheek, his eyes watching me concerned. "Cat got your tongue?"

I let out a nervous chuckle, realizing I hadn't said a word to him since he surprised me. And what would be appropriate to say?

_Hi?_

_I missed you?_

A pathetic, breathy, _Jasper?_

"Let's go home." I took his hand, smiling.

I could see his shoulders sagging. He snatched my suitcase off the ground, making a point to dramatically mock-stumble.

"It's not that heavy!" I protested. "Think I had to carry it!"

"I can show you a few tricks I learned at the gym." Alec appeared at my side, handing me my violin case.

Jasper shoved his shoulder playfully. The whole Jasper and Alec friendly was mind boggling.

"You're supposed to work out there with the _equipment_ , not the tricks. Tsk, tsk. I don't know if I should be proud of you, or concerned."

Alec turned red. "I'm working my muscles," he mumbled.

I knew Jasper well enough to predict his answer.

"The wrong muscles, I'm sure."

I stepped on his foot, making him yelp and narrow his eyes at me. I returned the glare, but it wasn't as menacing as I wanted because I was fighting off a smile. "He's not you, sweet pea. Not everyone goes to gym for that kind of workout."

Jasper gaped at me, before bursting out laughing. Peter clapped his shoulder, laughing along.

"I couldn't have put it any better, kid."

"I'll have you both know that I haven't been at the gym in months, as for the other activities you're talking about…when did we last go to Rainbow?" He frowned at Peter.

"After you came back from Texas."

"Too long ago," Jasper said pointedly.

Wow.

That meant he hadn't tricked in months.

As we stepped into the crisp winter air, the snow storm attacked us. I hurried to fasten the zipper of my coat. Jasper rearranged my scarf, placing his lips to my ear. "My balls are blue, and it has nothing to do with the weather."

"I'll warm them up in a jiffy."

"Oh, learning new words?" He laughed, steering me to the car.

"Yup." I poked my tongue out at him.

At the BMW, Jasper stowed my bags in the trunk. I made plans with Alec to meet the next day.

"Hey, can't we head to Rainbow now?" I wondered, catching Jasper's eye.

"I'm sure you're tired."

"Not really. One drink?" I begged.

"You're here for a couple weeks. There's time for Rainbow."

"Yes, sweetie. Go home. Jazz has a present for you." Riley winked.

"Can't it wait?" I almost pouted. I really wanted to go to Rainbow. I missed the club.

Jasper put a hand on my shoulder after closing the trunk. "Tomorrow night. I promise we're going to Rainbow and staying for how long you want. Now, we're going home. I'm sure you're tired."

"Go, because you're mine tomorrow until it's time to head to the club." Alec gave me a stern look.

They all seemed to plot against me. It wasn't like I didn't want to get home with Jasper, but dancing with him sounded better.

We said goodbye to the gang as they piled in Peter's jeep. I told Peter to drive carefully and take Alec straight home. He rolled his eyes at me, saying something about kidnapping him.

Sliding in the soft leather seat of Jasper's BMW gave me a sense of familiarity, comfort.

He pulled out carefully, driving slowly. I stared at him for a good ten minutes, memorizing his features. A muscle in his cheek kept twitching, probably because of my insistent look, but I couldn't tear my eyes off him. I'd missed him so much.

"What, Edward?"

I jumped. "What?"

"Why are you staring?"

"Missed you," I admitted.

His soft blue eyes turned to me. "I missed you too, but you don't see me gawking at you."

"I'd be worried for my safety if you were. Keep your eyes on the road, okay?" I leaned closer, kissing his jaw, nuzzling his ear.

"Are you going to blow me?"

"Another time." I licked at the spot behind his ear. "I plan on torturing all the way home, so when we arrive you'll rip my clothes off and…" My breath hitched at the images filling my brain.

_Jasper tearing my clothes off._

_Jasper pushing me against the wall, kissing me furiously._

_Jasper inserting two slick fingers into me._

_Jasper taking me against the wall._

_Jasper fucking me on the stairs._

_Jasper making love with me on our bed._

His soft chuckles made me look at him. "Your face. Did you cream your jeans just imagining what I'm going to do to you?"

I shifted uncomfortably. My hard on was pressing against the zipper. "No."

"We'll be home soon. But trust me, you'd like to see you present first."

"A new sex toy?"

He choked on his spit. "I created a monster!" Jasper groaned, glancing toward the ceiling of the car. "Surprisingly, it doesn't have to do with sex. Gasp. I know."

I giggled. "Can't wait."

The closer we got to his house, the more agitated Jasper got.

"Hey, is that present so bad? You think I'll hate it?"

"Actually, I know you'll love it. The thing is…I haven't celebrated Christmas in…too long. So don't judge my arrangement too harshly. I'm sure I'm rusty, and I insisted no one helped me."

His words broke my heart. His fucking parents did that to him. It was because of them he forgot about the Christmas spirit, but apparently I brought it back to life.

Maybe they had to be out of the picture for good so he could finally live his life without worrying about being judged. I could relate.

"I'm sure you can't fuck up Christmas decorations."

Jasper snorted. "Wanna bet?"

"I can help you if you did something wrong. Which I doubt."

"Good. I rely on you, Pretty Boy. Alice says she trusts me, but I know I'll fuck up somehow." We were no longer talking about Christmas. "She thinks I'm a natural, just because I covered for her a few times when she was too sick to come to work. You know she specializes in children psychology. Until I talked to these kids, I had no idea what existential problems an eight year old can have, or even a five year old one. Not giving you details here, but divorces and bullies affect people of all ages."

"No shit?" It was all I could say.

"Yeah, and I have no idea how she can do this. Seriously. It's one thing to be cold hearted and detached when a teenager starts crying, but when a child breaks down in front of you…" He took a shuddering breath. "Shit. It just sucks, Pretty Boy."

"Did you find a replacement for her?"

"Yes, they're attending the session together so the children will get used to Pedro. I have no idea where she found him, but he's damn good. Because of course, Alice found him. After Pete and I lost a month of our lives searching for someone, she came one day with this Latino guy, introducing him as Pedro, her replacement. I wanted to strangle her."

"I thought you were used to Alice. You should have known how she gets. I _know_ her." I laughed.

He pulled in the driveway, shutting off the engine and sighing heavily.

I looked around and saw a light garland around the edge of the roof and there was a blown-up Santa in the spot I knew it used to be grass, now covered by snow.

"Not bad," I commented.

"Wait until you see the inside."

"So is this the surprise?" I got out of the car, shivering as the cold air made me rush to the porch.

"No. And didn't you forget something? Your bags."

"You bring them." I hopped from one foot to another, rubbing my hands. "Hurry!"

"Here. Catch!" He threw the keys to me, before bending to gather my suitcase and violin case.

My hand shook so bad, it took me a few tries to unlock the door. I only had time to flip the hallway light on and disarm the alarm before something small attacked my feet. I yelped, jumping back and almost tumbling in Jasper's arms.

"Don't let him out!" He groaned, dropping the bags and picking the small brown dog who tried escaping. "Surprise?" He turned the puppy to me, grinning.

I stared at the small brown puppy then into Jasper's bright blue eyes. "You get me a puppy?"

He shrugged. "Don't you like him? I'm afraid he's already been named."

"Is it a terrible name?" I tried overcoming the shock of Jasper buying me a dog. Tentatively I reached a hand to rub between the puppy's eyes. He whined in pleasure.

He was a beautiful dog, mostly milk chocolate brown with white paws, muzzle and belly, and with huge black eyes. I was already in love with the small being. And that pink spot on his mouth? It was adorable.

"It's Terror. But he answers to Terry too. It's my fault," he explained, placing the dog in my arms before closing the door. "I had Peter pick him up from the vet where he had to stay a few hours for tests and vaccines. I was swamped in work. When I was finally done, I went to Pete's to take the dog and found him in a sort of war with Snow Princess—that's Peter's cat. He kept calling him terror, so unfortunately the name stuck."

"Aw. He looks so gentle." I squeezed the dog to my chest. "I can't imagine him chasing a cat."

"Well, it's in his nature, Pretty Boy. Aren't you going to take your coat off?"

"And let go of my present? Nope."

Jasper smiled widely. "I'm so happy you like him. I was afraid you'd think it was too much."

"I've always wanted a dog. Come here. Let me thank you properly."

He leaned closer and I pressed my lips to his. When he opened his mouth, someone interrupted us, making Jasper pull away, sputtering.

"I'm all for threesomes, but when the third party is human," he muttered. "Maybe Pete was right."

"No way!" I deposited Terror on the floor, unzipping my coat. Jasper untangled the scarf from around my neck, stealing a few kisses.

The puppy stretched, his front paws sliding on the tile making him fall. He didn't seem to mind as he rolled on his back, looking at us, wiggling his tail.

"Aww! How can someone call this cutie a terrorist? Look at him." I dropped next to the puppy who looked at me eagerly, wanting a belly rub. "Do you think if I call him cute-pie long enough he'll respond to that?" I caught Jasper's eye.

"Please, don't. At least find a decent name."

"Like what? Chocolate bar?" I laugh, scratching at the puppy's belly.

Jasper cringed. "Can't you give him a manly name? Like…George?"

"George?" I stopped scratching, staring at the puppy. "He doesn't look like a George. Do you, little one? Nope. You don't."

"Ah, would you look at that?" Jasper leaned against the stairwell, staring at the dog. "With all that rubbing, you gave Georgy a stiffy."

My eyes went down and I laughed. "Hey, don't make fun of him! He can't help it. He's young and easily excited."

"Like you. So if you're done playing with the dog, I'd like to play with you."

He helped me up, licking the column of my neck. "Mhmm. How about a shower?"

"What? Do I stink now?" I joked, trying to escape his tongue in my ear.

"As a matter of fact, you do stink. But I have the perfect remedy for that."

"What? I don't get to see the rest of your decorations?"

"It can wait until morning. You, get in your basket. If you try coming up the stairs again, I'm going to tie you to the banister."

"You mean he's not allowed in our bed?" I pouted, looking at the sad puppy.

"No! And he won't spend any time in our bed while you're here. If he gets used to that, I'm never getting rid of him! We need rules. Dogs sleep in their basket!" Jasper pointed to an open door under the stairs. "I cleaned the place for him. He has enough space and it will be big enough even when he grows up. And humans sleep upstairs in the _bed_ ," he emphasized it, taking my suitcase and walking up the stairs.

"Sorry, boy," I whispered to the dog, petting his head again. His big black sad eyes would haunt me.

I followed Jasper before I could change my mind and decide to sleep in the closet with the puppy.

"So what breed is he?" I asked, stepping into the shower after Jasper. We'd left out clothes in a pile in the middle of the bathroom.

"A Boxer. He's going to grow quite big."

"You need to send me pictures of him all the time! I'm sure in a few months I won't even recognize him!" I grabbed the soap, running it over Jasper's chest. "Do you think he'll forget me?"

"Pretty Boy, no one can forget you. Not even a dog."

I grinned, twisting his nipple, earning a growl from him.

"You mentioned something about warming my balls. Go to it."

Laughing, I kneeled in front of him. _Ah, how I missed his dick_. I had to take a moment to admire it in all its glory.

"This year, Edward."

"Shh." I grabbed his hips, kissing up and down his cock. "Fuck. I missed you, Jasper."

"That's Jasper Jr., and I think you missed him more than you missed me."

"I admit nothing." I threw him a grin, before taking him in my mouth.

His fingers tangled in my hair. It didn't take long for him to explode in my mouth, shouting my name. A small part of me was disappointed because I really wanted to feel him inside me.

Jasper took hours soaping me, giving me an amazing hand job while massaging my prostate at the same time, then we cleaned up and went to bed. Naked. Dripping wet.

We simply lay there in the darkness, happy to be reunited. We didn't need words. It was enough to feel his left elbow was brushing my right forearm.

At some point he rolled up a joint and after a few drags, he offered it to me, nudging my lips. I had to accept it.

We smoked in silence, enjoying the moment.

A few months ago, I wasn't sure there would still be a Jasper and me if I left. As I lay there next to him, I realized how silly I used to be. We were inseparable and indestructible.

When the blunt burnt out, he rolled on his side, draping an arm over my stomach, kissing my shoulder, sighing heavily before closing his eyes. I pressed a kiss to his forehead, snuggling closer.

Right before I fell asleep I heard him. "I love you."

I grinned into his hair. "Love you," I mumbled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A big thank you to everyone still sticking around. I barely have time for anything these days. Luckily this has been written ahead. And today, I managed to finish writing the last chapter! We have three more chapters left. Of course, there will be the Alec pov too...whenever I get some time to seat down, look over the story again and remember the hot spots with him. :)


	38. Chapter 38

_Oh, oh , I never felt this way_   
_How do you give me so much pleasure_   
_And cause me so much pain_   
_Just when I think_   
_I've taken more than would a fool_   
_I start fallin' back in love with you_

_I keep on_   
_Fallin'_   
_In and out of love with you_   
_I never loved someone_   
_The way that I love you_

**Alicia Keys – Fallin'**

I woke up to a wet tongue licking my back. Smiling into the pillow, I pretended to still be asleep. When the tongue descended to my ass, my gasp gave me away.

"You little shit! How long have you been awake?"

I giggled, pressing my face further into the pillow.

"You better be ready for me. I'm horny as fuck. While you can form coherent sentences, text Alec and postpone your date. I'm not letting you out of the bed today."

"Aw, but I…" My protest died on my lips when his tongue dived between my ass cheeks, licking vigorously at my puckered hole.

Fuck.

"Where's my phone?" I blindly slapped around the nightstand.

"Use mine." He handed me his phone, going back to work.

I dropped the phone at least a dozen times before I managed to finish writing Alec a half arsed apology.

**Edward here. Rain check? It's pretty cold outside and the prospect of leaving the bed…not happening. Sorry? Love you.**

I chucked the phone toward the head of the bed, relaxing under Jasper's talented tongue.

When I was sure I'd lose my mind, I heard the telltale sound of foil ripping. Jasper rustled behind me, before balancing with a hand on my lower back.

"Ready?"

"Just fuck me already!"

"I love it when you talk dirty, Pretty Boy."

He slowly slid inside me. Stars exploded before my eyes. Fuck.

I couldn't remember the last time we'd been together.

"Don't come," he said through gritted teeth.

I bit on the pillow, muffling a groan when he started a slow rhythm. His body covered mine, his lips kissing my cheek until I turned my head so he could catch my lips in a deep, searing kiss.

This wasn't fucking.

He knew it.

I knew it.

Either of us was going to acknowledge it.

He didn't break from the slow strokes as he ran a hand through my hair, and the other slid down my chest until he grabbed my dick. He squeezed me hard, his hot breath against my ear.

"Please," I whined.

"No."

"I can't!" My body shook not knowing how to hold an orgasm, and not any—one delayed by too many months.

Jasper changed the angle, hitting my prostate, his thumb caressing the head of my dick. I couldn't hold it anymore.

"Don't!" He hissed in my ear, but I was already falling apart. "Shit." Jasper slapped a hand next to my head and I watched it trembling as he tried to hold his own release.

Somehow, he managed the impossible. He sat up on his knees, rearranging me on my hands and knees. I was mostly sitting on my chest with my ass in the air, unable to hold myself up, but same principles applied. Then he started ramming me.

I screamed, being overly sensitive, and Jasper seemed relentless. It didn't take long for me to realize what I was feeling wasn't exactly pain. It was pleasure bordering on pain. So much pleasure my balls filled once again and when Jasper shot inside me, I came again, before collapsing with him on my back.

"You came again," he rasped out.

I only nodded. My throat was dry.

Some minutes later, he pulled out, and went to throw away the condom. When he returned, I felt a wet towel running over my ass, then he turned me around and cleaned my chest.

"That was awesome. We need to do it again." I aimed my hand at his cheek, but only managed to hit his shoulder. My bones were jelly.

Much later, I stretched, yawning.

"You can wake me up like that for the rest of my life." I didn't realize what I said until it was out of my mouth and I heard myself.

Thankfully, Jasper didn't freak. "I'm afraid that will be impossible, Pretty Boy," he said softly, stroking a hand down my back. "At least not until you come back from New York."

"Oh!" I rolled around facing him. "I wrote you something else!"

"You did? Seriously?"

"Yup. You have no idea how amazing it is to compose! My teacher even asked me why I was taking his class considering I knew it all." I laughed.

He smiled gently, his eyes sparkling. "My little genius. Hoping I don't sound like an idiot…who was an important violinist? I can call you my little Mozart when you play the piano, but what when it's about violin?"

"Well…" I moved a piece of blond hair out of his eyes. "There's Bach, Vivaldi, Ole Bull, Paganini, Strauss father and son, Schubert, Enescu, and am I boring you?"

"Remind me to never get you started on a subject I have no clue about."

I gasped faking hurt, then dug my fingers in his sides making him shriek. I didn't stop my attack until he managed to roll out from under me, nearly falling off the bed.

"My little monster," Jasper whispered, hugging me tightly.

I smiled into his neck, lying there, content. I loved being in his arms.

My eyes landed on his phone at the head of the bed and I reached for it, to see what time it was. The digital clock said 11:56 AM. Then I saw a missed text, and remembered my message to Alec.

"Hey, that's my phone!" He snatched it from me.

"Give it back! Alec answered my message."

We wrestled for the phone, but Jasper won. He pinned me to the bed, holding me down, keeping the phone in his free hand. He barked a laugh as he read Alec's answer.

His eyes found mine, glinting with mirth. " _I should have known no one would be able to drag you from under Jasper. I do hope I'll get to see you this break…at some point_." He grinned. "That was a direct quote."

I pouted. "You did this on purpose! You kept me from Alec."

"You weren't complaining either!"

A loud whine grabbed our attention. We turned our heads to the door at the same time.

"The puppy!" I gasped, horrified I'd forgotten about him.

Pushing Jasper off me, I wrapped the bed sheet around my waist and walked out the room. He followed me, stepping into a pair of boxers.

"Not again!" He groaned when he saw the puppy halfway up the stairs.

"Did he try climbing up the stairs before?"

"Every night ever since I got him a few days ago. The steps must be too high for him. You should see him trying to descend. The first time he did it, he more like tumbled down. It was very artistic."

"He fell?" I asked, scared, bending to pick the little dog. "Hey, little one." He reached to lick my face eagerly. "Good morning to you too."

Jasper laughed, heading to the kitchen. "Coffee?"

"You know it! I'm going to see what you did to the living room!"

"It's nothing special," he called over his shoulder.

Holding the puppy with one arm against my chest, and the sheet with the other hand, I carefully walked to the living room. I stopped in the doorway unsure what was off with the room; besides the tons of Christmassy things hanging from everywhere and the huge tree.

Surveying the room a few times, my eyes landed on something next to the window. _That_ wasn't there before.

"JASPER!" I shouted, exasperated. He was quickly falling in the other extreme with all the presents. And I didn't have enough money to get him anything nice.

My Christmas present for him seemed insignificant compared to the puppy and the _piano_.

"Oh, you found the other present?" he asked sounding amused, not bothering to join me.

The puppy squirmed in my arm, and I let him down. He went straight to the front door, scratching at it.

"DON'T!" Jasper yelled, appearing next to me. He opened the door, letting him out.

"Leave him be! You got me a _piano_!" I gasped, staring at him with huge eyes.

"Who says it's for you?" he asked nonchalantly.

"Oh, you have unknown talents?"

"Or I hire pretty boys to come play for me."

I rolled my eyes. "Can you be serious? It's too much. I can't accept this. Really, Jasper."

"It may be for you, but it's my house. I buy whatever the fuck I want. That piano looks pretty in my living room, even if you won't play at it."

"Who the fuck buys a fucking piano just because it looks pretty?"

"I do."

"Jasper…"

He pressed finger to my lips. "Say thank you like a good little boy."

"On my knees?" I teased, making him sputter.

The puppy returned inside, shivering and making a beeline to his basket. It distracted us enough to start laughing at the poor soul. Jasper closed the front door, his eyes never leaving mine.

He might not say it often, but I could feel it and see it in everything he did for me.

"I love you, Jasper. So much." I hugged him tightly.

His arms wrapped around me. When he started shaking, I pulled away a little to check if he was crying or laughing. It turned out to be silent laughter.

"You dropped the sheet."

I snorted, biting his chin, before sliding down, taking his boxers off on my way to the floor. He fell back into the door as I dived for my favorite popsicle.

Later, I sat at the piano bench, drinking my coffee while Jasper lay on the carpet in front of the couch, with his laptop in front of him. The puppy kept jumping on his back, wanting to play, but eventually he realized he wouldn't get any attention from the blond god. He turned to me, sitting at my legs and staring at me pleadingly.

"Wait." I was waiting for my phone to charge enough so I could talk to Alec.

"Yeah because he'd listen to you," Jasper commented.

The puppy turned to him then fixated me with his black eyes, giving a weak bark.

I hoped he'd understood I was busy, but then he stood on his back legs, placing his front paws on my knees and nudging my cup of coffee. I saved it from spilling at the last second. "Hey!"

"See? Living up to his name. Terror suits him just fine."

I gently pushed the puppy away. "Go play alone for a little while." Surprisingly, he left the room, giving me space to write a message to Alec.

**Hey. How about you join us to Rainbow tonight?**

Jasper had actually suggested I invite Alec to join us.

_**Are you going to be all over Jasper?** _

**I'll try not to. Come on, join us. I miss you.**

_**Fine. 9 ok?** _

"Is nine okay to go to Rainbow?" I glanced at Jasper. He nodded, frowning at his laptop.

**9\. See you then!**

Terror appeared at my feet with a small yellow ball. He dropped it, nudging my knee.

"Don't play inside," Jasper commented.

I wondered if he had equine vision. How he could see what we were doing was beyond me.

I kicked the yellow ball toward the hallway, before rotating on the bench. After another gulp of my coffee, I set the cup on the floor, and glanced at Jasper who was once again immersed in whatever he was doing.

Cracking my fingers, I tentatively touched the C.

I heard him startle, but didn't turn around.

He got me the piano, so I was going to busy myself while he did his thing on the laptop.

I debated for a short while what should I play—something silly like _Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star_ and see how he reacted, or actually play something more mature. A carol was probably not the best way to start the recital.

Then I knew what was appropriate. Smiling, I started playing one of my favorite songs from Alicia Keys.

Jasper stopped typing.

I didn't dare turn around, afraid to break the moment.

 _Fallin'_ didn't sound as good just on the piano, but fuck if I cared. If he recognized the song, and its meaning…it was all I wanted.

About halfway through the song, Jasper came to stand behind me. He bent over me, wrapping his arms around my shoulders, his lips at my ear. "I love you."

His words seemed to hold more meaning than ever. My fingers froze on the ivories. His hands stretched over mine until our fingers knotted on the piano keys. I tipped my head back, smiling at him. I knew I was crying, but it didn't matter. He pressed his lips to mine, helping me stand up and twisting me in his arms.

Somehow, I ended up on the keys, Jasper between my legs, kissing me furiously.

My hands went to the string of his sweatpants. He'd changed into them after breakfast. I had only put on a pair of boxers and one of his t-shirts.

Urgently, we took our clothes off, then after a short trip to the couch where he apparently stashed condoms and lube, Jasper rejoined with a huge smile.

"Let's not break your present," I said worried when he helped me on top of the piano.

"It's sturdy, don't worry." Two fingers entered me and my back arched, all concerned thoughts evading my mind.

When he slipped inside, one of my feet slipped on the keys making me jump. Jasper laughed, bracing himself on my shoulder and the black lid then he started moving.

Fuck. Who'd have thought getting fucked on top of a piano was so hot?

One of my legs was on his shoulder as he folded me in half, moving urgently into me, his eyes never leaving mine. I hadn't really looked into his eyes when we fucked, but it made it more intense. My free foot kept slapping at the keys as my toes curled. I didn't want to come. Everything was perfect and I wanted to live in that moment forever.

"Edward," he gasped, squeezing his eyes shut, throwing his head back. Fuck. His throat looked so hot. When I leaned to lick at it, I changed the angle effectively bringing both our releases.

At some point during the cacophony of notes I created, the puppy started whining.

"Buzz killer," Jasper mumbled into my shoulder.

I combed my fingers through his hair. "We were making noises."

"You were making noises. _Harder, Jasper! Yes. Oh! Yesss_!"

"I don't sound like that!" I protested, laughing.

"Wanna bet?"

"What about you? _Edward. Oh, how I love you_."

"I did not say that!" Jasper bit my earlobe. "I'm usually a quiet lover."

"Usually, when you're with your tricks."

"No more coffee for you. You're overly agitated. I want a few quiet minutes of post coital bliss."

"I'm allowed to be overly agitated, old man. I'm nineteen."

"I don't have enough energy to slap you." He slid off the piano and trudged to the couch where he fell face first. "Wake me up in a few hours."

"You need your afternoon nap?" I teased, gathering my boxers and walking to him, lounging on top of him.

"Hey! Whatcha doing, twink?"

"Chill. If I wanted to get on top, I'd find a way to immobilize you then take advantage of you."

"Thanks for letting me know," he mumbled into a cushion.

We lay there for some time, until the doorbell rang. I was almost asleep so I didn't move, hoping it was my imagination.

After the fifth ringing, came the knocking. Jasper slid out from under me, placed the cushion over his groin and went to see who was bothering us.

" _Peter_ , what a pleasant surprise!"

Jasper's sarcasm dripping voice got my attention. He returned to the couch with Peter.

"I'm not interrupting, or anything?"

"Only my afternoon nap," Jasper commented, catching my eye before falling back on the couch and wrapping the throw over him. "Can you two go play somewhere quietly? And feed the dog."

I exchanged a look with Peter, then nodded to the hallway. On the way out, I picked Terror (who I still had to find a suitable name for).

"You like him?" He eyed the puppy.

"I love him! And apparently I have to thank you for the _beautiful_ name!"

"You're back with Jasper for less than twenty four hours and his sarcasm has rubbed all over you."

"He does good rubbing, what can I say?"

"God, no." Peter shuddered. "I came over for a shirt I left here a while ago, when I worked late with Jasper. I want to wear it tonight at Rainbow."

"It's in the first drawer! Clean and shiny as new!" Jasper called from the living room.

I laughed, trying hard not to be jealous of Peter. They were friends. It was normal for friends to spend time together.

 _But not normal for them to leave clothes behind_ , a small voice said in my head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're getting closer to the big end. =)
> 
> Thank you all for the continuous support.


	39. Chapter 39

_I know I maybe not what you want_   
_But, I could give you what you need_

_No one could ever love you better_   
_Let me show you what I can see_   
_No one could ever know you better_   
_Let me show you what's underneath_

**Chris Crocker – Love You Better**

At the club we found Alec outside, huddled in his jacket, glaring daggers at the bouncer.

"Hey, sweetie. Why aren't you inside where's warm?" I wrapped an arm around him.

"That asshole won't let me in!"

The bouncer gave us a fleeting glance. "I can smell you're underage! As I said, go home, kid. Your parents are probably looking for you."

Alec tensed, and I wanted to punch that idiot. Surprisingly, Jasper stepped ahead, shaking the man's hand.

"Hey, James. Don't be like that. They're my friends and they're not minors."

"Both of them?" He sounded exasperated, his eyes lingering on me. He probably knew I was with Jasper.

Peter appeared from behind us, taking Alec's hand and whispering something in his ear, then grinning at James. "What can we say? We like them young."

"We don't want trouble! You know Ben will fire my ass!" James muttered.

"You know we never caused trouble. Come on, James. What's up with you?" Jasper insisted, lifting his right arm for me to snuggle there. "I've come here with Edward for years."

"You haven't been around much lately, Jasper. Things have changed. Especially when that fucking homophobe decided to raid the place and found at least a couple dozen twinks trashed."

"What are you talking about?" Jasper frowned.

James stopped someone else from going in the club, shaking his head. "Sorry, kid. Come back on your twenty-first." The boy glared before storming away. James turned his eyes to us. "That prick who runs the town. Cullen or whatever his name is."

I felt dizzy. Dad had truly attacked Liberty Avenue.

Peter stepped closer. "We promise to keep them close all night. Do we have to sign or something?"

"Nah. I trust you, guys. Just be careful. If the police comes knocking it's on your back. You never know when the blues drop by these days."

I felt sick.

Inside, on the way to the bar, I stewed, taking calming breaths. It didn't help.

The place was less lively, or so it looked to me.

Jasper and Peter ordered beers. The bartender, who was a new guy I didn't know, placed two beers for Jasper and Peter, and two sodas for Alec and me.

"I didn't want this," I complained.

"Can I have your ID?" the man asked. As I fished in my pocket, he stared at me passively. "The real one, kid."

I glared, huffing and turning pleadingly to Jasper. I didn't want to drink soda like a fucking child.

"Let's head over there to the couches," Jasper offered, steering me that way with a hand on the small of my back. "Don't forget your soda."

I rolled my eyes, stomping along. Peter and Alec were behind us.

I couldn't remember a time we actually sat on these couches. They were small but comfy looking.

Jasper pulled me on his lap so Alec and Peter would have room.

"Here." Jasper placed his beer in my hand. "I'm driving. Can I have your soda?"

Peter gave him an odd look, but didn't comment on it. I was surprised, but happily agreed to exchange our beverages.

After a few minutes spent in silence Jasper and Peter started talking about something work related, and Alec kept his eyes on my beer.

I smirked, nodding as discreetly as I could to Peter's untouched beer. Alec raised an eyebrow, but I silently urged him to live on the wild side.

I burrowed my face in Jasper's shoulder when Alec nonchalantly pulled the bottle from Peter's hand, taking a long gulp from it.

"It was getting warm, and you weren't planning on drinking."

Jasper laughed along, and even Peter chuckled. The latter eventually went to buy himself another beer.

"Let's dance." I pulled Jasper up. "You don't mind?" I bit my lip, eyeing Alec worried.

"Go ahead. I'll enjoy my beer."

I ruffled his hair, pulling Jasper after me.

During the time we spent on the dance floor, I saw Peter making a few trips to the bar, but thought nothing of it. I was happy he was buying Alec beer since apparently we were no longer allowed to do it.

Many songs later, we were both sweaty, and I could feel Jasper's hard dick digging in my ass.

"Backroom?" He whispered in my ear.

I nodded, taking his hand from my hip and walking that way. We went far back into the room, like that time he saved me from Eric, and pushed me up against a wall before kneeling in front of me.

Shit.

I stared at him amazed.

The old Jasper would have never knelt in front of any guy, but he did it for me. I was aware there were some other people around and they could see, but all my focus was on Jasper's skilled mouth deep-throating me. He swallowed everything I gave him, before turning me around, pushing my pants lower and after a little shifting he plunged into me.

"Fuck!" I threw my head back.

He lifted one of my legs a little, fucking me hard.

"They're watching us." His words made me turn to see several pairs of eyes on us. "They're so fucking turned on by us fucking."

I moaned loudly, wrapping a hand into his hair. "Harder!"

"I knew you liked this. My little slut." He licked at my ear.

"Jasper!"

"That's right. Scream my name!"

He rammed harder into me, until I shouted his name for everyone to hear it.

We got cat-calls once the show was over. When the high of the release was gone, I felt awfully embarrassed, but Jasper beamed proudly as we walked out of the room hand in hand.

"That was one amazing Christmas present for the Pittsburgh gays." He planted a kiss on my cheek.

"It was okay."

"You didn't like it?"

"It was okay," I repeated. "Though, I prefer it when it's just the two of us—home."

"Don't worry. I'm not done with you. Spend some time with Alec now, because I'm not sure I can let you out of my sight while you're here."

We stopped a few feet away from the couch we'd left our friends.

"Holy shit!" I gaped at the sight in front of me. "Did you know about this?" I turned to stare at Jasper with wide eyes.

He didn't answer, keeping his eyes on Peter and Alec tangled up on the couch, making out like there was no tomorrow.

"What about Liam?" I mumbled. "I thought he was dating Liam."

Jasper dropped my hand, storming to the couch. I rushed after him, my heart beating out of my chest. I couldn't believe Alec was doing this.

"Peter! You drunk fuck, get away from him!" Jasper pulled his friend off Alec.

Alec looked plastered, but pouted adorably when he was separated from his kissing buddy. "Party's over." I took Alec's hands, helping him up. "Let's take you home."

On the way out, Jasper kept shouting something in Peter's ear, who cringed with every word out of my boyfriend's mouth.

"What have you done?" I asked Alec. "Really, Alec. What about Liam?"

"Liam?" He scoffed. "We're taking a break."

"And your rebound guy is Peter? He's just like Jasper, you know? A playboy. I don't want you hurt…again. Are you ever going to listen to me?"

"That's perfect, coming from you! I'm not taking advices from you, when you're the main reason I can't find anyone! I love you, Edward! Are you ever going to understand that?"

"Alec, honey…"

"Get in the fucking cab, Peter!" I heard Jasper shouting. He was wrestling his friend in the backseat of a yellow vehicle.

Once the difficult task was accomplished, he snapped the door shut and leaned over the passenger's door, probably giving the cabbie Peter's address.

"He's great, you know? Peter." Alec gave me a hard look. "I'm going with him."

"The fuck you are!" I grabbed his elbow.

He wrenched his arm from my grip and ran to the car. He slid in the backseat next to Peter just as Jasper pulled out of the car, tapping the top of it.

"NO!" I yelled, but it was too late.

Jasper whirled around. "Fuck," he spat. "Get in the car. We're following them and separating them."

"Maybe…we need to let them understand what a fucking disaster this is…on their own."

"Edward, you don't know drunk Peter. I do. Whatever your friend wants won't get from a drunk Peter."

"Are you…jealous?" I had to know.

"I'm angry at how stupid Peter can be. Now, can we please get a move?"

We followed the cab, all the while Jasper muttering under his breath.

In front of Peter's building, Jasper parked, turning the hazard lights on, before stepping out of the car. Peter and Alec were in the middle of the alley that led to the front door of the building, kissing furiously.

"What the fuck got into you, Peter?" Jasper pulled his friend away from my friend. "Stop this nonsense!"

Alec clumsily pushed Jasper away, not managing much, except stumbling over his feet. I caught him before he could hit the ground.

"We've been doing this for weeks!" Alec snapped, trying to escape my arms.

Jasper grabbed Peter by the collar of his jacket. "Is that true?"

"What's wrong with you?" Peter groaned, wrapping his hands around Jasper's wrists before pushing him away. "We get along perfectly! We understand each other, Jasper! We're both rejected by the people we love!"

Jasper didn't relent. He grabbed fistfuls of Peter's jacket, shaking him. "Are you insane? He's just—"

"A child? That's rich coming from you! You've been fucking Edward since he was seventeen! At least, Alec is legal."

"Yes, we get each other!" Alec shouted, managing to wrench free from my grip. "Peter knows how it is to love someone and see them with someone else, knowing they'll never look at you that way, knowing they'll come to you only when the person they love hurts them."

I exchanged a look with Jasper, and I could see the same pain I felt reflected in his clear blue eyes.

He cupped Peter's face. "Pete, we fucking talked about this."

"You did! You agreed it was a one-time fuck! I didn't. How do you think I felt all these years, watching you waltz to and fro the Backroom with all these creeps? And then this little shit came along? And who was there to patch you up when he slept with Alec? Me." Peter caught Alec's eye as if giving him the _go ahead, tell them exactly how you feel_.

"Sadly, I was more than a one-time fuck. You led me on for months, giving me false hope. You know how it hurts to see you with Jasper. I always tell you, but I'm an idiot for sticking around. I can't imagine life without you in it, Edward."

"Alec," I sobbed.

Fuck. This wasn't the way I wanted my Christmas break to be. I never imagined I'd have this conversation with him, especially not with Peter siding up with him. I knew Peter loved Jasper, but I had no idea he loved him as much as Alec loved me.

We were one fucked-up foursome.

"Peter, can't you be friends with the kid? It's great you have shit in common, but don't screw him over only because you're both brokenhearted over something that WILL NEVER HAPPEN!"

I gasped, my legs becoming jelly when Peter's fist flew into Jasper's jaw. "Fuck you, Whitlock! FUCK YOU!"

"Pete." Jasper stared at his friend with huge, surprised eyes. One of his hands was holding his jaw.

When I saw him trying to hurt Jasper again, I moved in between them, getting a punch in my shoulder.

"Don't you fucking hurt Edward! Are you okay?" He looked at me concerned.

Up close, I realized his lip was bleeding and there was nasty bruise forming on his cheek.

"Then get the fuck out of my sight! Both of you!"

"Let's go, Alec." I reached a hand for my friend.

"No way! I'm going with Peter. I wasn't joking when I said we've done this."

"What about Liam?"

"Liam doesn't understand anything! He wants what I once wanted with you, but then you showed me life isn't unicorns and rainbows. Peter GETS me."

"Don't be silly, Alec. Peter is nothing but trouble," Jasper told him.

"You have no right to dictate who I fuck! If you must know, asshole, I'm happy! And so is Alec. We're happy! We planned on telling you over Christmas dinner."

"Which we're not attending anymore," Alec muttered, glaring daggers at both me and Jasper.

"Your aunts. Do they know?" Jasper kept his eyes on Alec.

"They will. I think Jane suspects, since Peter has been around lately helping me with a project for school."

I couldn't believe my ears.

I truly hoped he and Liam were perfect, but apparently I didn't know shit.

Jasper took a step toward Peter. "If you hurt him, which means you'll be hurting Edward, I will make sure to—"

"Hurt me back?" Peter guessed, sneering. "Nothing you haven't done in the past seventeen years, and maybe even more. Just fuck off, Jasper."

"Peter, I thought that subject was buried! What the hell happened? We agreed to never talk about what we felt for each other! You know I love you too, but not that way."

"Of course. Not the way I want, the way I need. I know. And like Alec said, we're two idiots for still being your friends since you hurt us constantly. Maybe it's time for a clean break."

"You're not serious!" Jasper groaned, reaching for his friend's hand. "Peter, don't do this."

"Don't touch me!" He pushed Jasper, making him stumble back and fall on his ass.

"Watch out!" I shouted, crouching to help Jasper up.

I didn't like the direction this fight was taking. I couldn't lose Alec, just like Jasper couldn't lose Peter.

"I think…" Alec said on a shaky voice. "I think we should all talk tomorrow. When we're sober and calm. In a neutral place."

"I'd rather not have everyone see us making a scene," Jasper grumbled, rubbing his probably sore ass. "Come over tomorrow. Whenever you want, we'll be home."

"At least, answer the door dressed this time," Peter snapped.

"It's my fucking house, Peter! I didn't expect guests! But tomorrow, we'll be presentable, I promise."

"Yeah, right. Come on, Alec." He wrapped his arm around Alec's shoulders, walking to the front door.

"Peter?" Jasper called, and I wondered if he'd lost his mind.

I didn't like drunk Peter. He was right. Drunk Peter scared me—especially when he hurt my boyfriend.

Peter didn't turn around, not acknowledging his friend.

"Get in the car," Jasper whispered to me, before sprinting after Peter.

I didn't move. My heart squeezed as I watched as if in slow motion Jasper touching Peter's shoulder then Peter turning, his eyes blazing with fury then so fast I barely had time to grasp what happened, he had Jasper pinned on the metal front door. For a wild second, I thought they were kissing, but when I heard Alec's scream, I realized I had to separate them.

When I reached them I found Peter choking Jasper who was trying to pry his friend's hands away from his neck, turning purple rapidly. With Alec's help, him on a side and me on the other, we managed to pull Peter away. Alec wrapped his arms around Peter's neck, whispering something urgently in his ear.

I didn't care what they were talking about.

Jasper was bent over, his hands on his knees as he hacked, tears streaming down his cheeks from being depraved of air. He jumped a mile when I put my hand on his shoulder.

"Come." I took him to the car, walking slowly.

Neither of us turned when Peter shouted an apology after us.

I helped Jasper in the passenger's seat, before getting behind the wheel. I couldn't even hold the circle as my hands shook uncontrollably.

"Pretty Boy. I'm fine. I'm okay."

I stared at my hands which wouldn't stop shaking.

Jasper rubbed two fingers into the back of my neck, and somehow it calmed me enough to be able to hold the steering wheel. He didn't drop his hand from my neck all the way home, and didn't comment on me driving super slowly. I didn't trust myself to go even over 50 miles per hour.

The second I stopped in front of his house, I collapsed over the wheel as ugly sobs whacked over my body.

"Shit," he cursed loudly, leaving the car.

_Awesome. Leave me here, crying my heart out._

But I shouldn't have worried. The driver's door opened and Jasper pried me out gently, carrying me inside the house as I kept shaking and crying with no stopping in sight.

He put me on the couch, hugging me tightly, stroking my hair.

"You need to calm down. I'm okay, Edward."

"H-h-he h-h-hur-t-t y-yo-u."

He kissed the side of my head. "You're in shock, Pretty Boy. Take deep breaths. Please, look at me. See I'm fine."

I raised my eyes, but the first thing I saw was his purple jaw, his cut lip then I noticed the red dots on this neck. Dots in shape of fingertips.

I shuddered, throwing my arms around him, sobbing harder. "Jasper!"

"Let's calm down, okay? Please, Edward."

"I c-c-an't! I d-don't wan-t t-to l-lose my f-fr-iend!"

"You won't. We'll talk to them tomorrow. I guess, it's more the shock of them together than anything that made me act like that."

"What?" I pulled away, gaping at him. "Peter fucking attacked you!"

"Because I might have hit a never with all the things I told him when we left Rainbow." He looked into his lap.

"What did you say to him?" I asked slowly, afraid to hear the answer.

Jasper swallowed thickly, avoiding eye-contact. "I told him he took my place, something he always wanted. It's not true. He always tried talking me out of sleeping around. Then I told him he was copying me, sleeping with a kid, just because he always wanted to be like me and he never could. I always outshined him."

"How could you? And you can't even blame the alcohol. You didn't drink anything!" I couldn't believe him.

Maybe it wasn't Peter's fault after all.

My head started hurting.

I had no idea who to blame anymore. I was sure Peter had lost his mind when he punched Jasper, but then Jasper started everything by saying stupid shit to his friend.

"Great. Now you hate me too," he mumbled.

"I don't!"

"I can see it on your face, Edward. You just switched to Team Peter."

"I'm not Team Peter, or Team Jasper. I don't want you to fight. It's fucked up that both of us hurt our best friends, but life is unfair. We love each other, and apparently they like each other enough to exchange spit. If that makes them happy, gives them enough closure and makes them forget about how they feel about us…why the fuck not? Let them be together."

Jasper chuckled, pinching my cheek. "When did you get so smart?"

"Have you seen my SATs?"

We started laughing, and I knew the storm was over. At least, part one of the storm was over. I was afraid of what tomorrow might bring, but as long as I had Jasper by my side, everything was going to be okay.

"Let's go get some shut eye. I have a feeling this is just the beginning." Jasper might have read my mind.

Hand in hand we walked upstairs.

"Anything hurt?" I checked, knowing full well what a stupid question it was.

"My ass, actually."

"Mine too, what do you know?" I giggled.

"Silly Boy." He wrapped me in his arms, kissing me softly.

We stopped in the doorway of the bedroom. After a look at the bed where the puppy was busy destroying one pillow, we found each other's eyes and started laughing.

"Terror!" Jasper growled, making the puppy look up, recognizing his well-deserved name. "Get the fucking out of my room!"

Surprisingly, he listened, jumping out of the bed and leaving, still clutching the ruined pillow in his teeth—a trail of feathers in his wake.

"Little shit," Jasper mumbled, stripping.

I followed his lead, and after pushing away the excess of feathers from the bed, we got under the blanket and fell asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more chapter left. :)
> 
> For those worried about anything happening between Jasper and Peter while Edward was in NY...don't. Peter had a few sleepovers, friendly ones.


	40. Chapter 40

_Take me_   
_Touch me_   
_Won't you hold me close?_

_And then we kiss_   
_Your love comes alive on my lips_   
_I feel a rush_   
_Coming over me, over me_   
_And when we touch_   
_This moment when everything's still_   
_I close my eyes_   
_And then we kiss_

**Britney Spears – And Then We Kiss**

Next morning, I woke up first and slipped out of the bed without waking Jasper.

In the kitchen, I found Terror sleeping on the ruined pillow, feathers everywhere. While the coffee brewed, I swept at the feathers making the puppy bark at the broom.

"Shh! Don't wake Jasper."

I kept him quiet by pouring some of his food in the bowl.

Living with a drag queen in New York had its perks. I'd learned how to cook well.

I decided to try my new cooking skills and make omelet for breakfast. I was almost done when there was a knock on the door. The noise set Terror into a frenzy.

On the way to the front door, I hoisted him up, chiding him.

I opened the door to find Alec and Peter looking as if they hadn't slept a wink.

"Hey," I greeted them, holding the puppy to my chest. He kept wriggling and whining.

"I thought we were here too early, but Peter said you'd be awake,"

"I couldn't sleep," I mumbled, stepping back and allowing them inside. "It seems you couldn't either."

"Fuck, I can't believe what happened last night." Peter shook his head. "How much does Jazz hate me?"

"A whole fucking lot," Jasper said from the stairs. He reached us, and surprised probably everyone by taking Peter in his arms. "I can't hate you, you drama queen!"

"But I said…"

"Yeah well, I started it. I deserved everything."

I frowned, stepping closer and touching Jasper's cheek. "Except this."

"Is it smarting?" Peter bit his lip.

"Like a mother fucker. On that note, I need some ice."

"And I need to take care of the food before it burns." I went back to the kitchen.

"We brought bagels." Alec followed me, placing a paper bag on the counter. "Are you upset?"

I met his eyes over my shoulder, before focusing on my half burnt omelet. "That you didn't tell me? Or that you acted like a brat?"

"All the above?" He touched my back, leaning closer. "I'm really sorry about everything I said."

"It's the truth. Don't apologize."

"Yes, please. Can we move on? We're both really happy for you guys," Jasper said loudly, grabbing a bag of frozen peas from the freezer.

"So you're not mad...your best friends are dating?"

I elbowed Alec in the ribs. "Of course not! I'm actually happy for you. Well, I can't say I'm over the moon. I thought Liam was...you know...it. But I guess Peter is okay too."

"He's more than okay," Alec whispered, blushing.

"And we need rules!" Jasper declared. "We're never, ever to speak of our sex life."

"You don't need to speak of it, man. Everyone knows and sees yours." Peter clapped Jasper on the back.

"Fuck off, Pete! I haven't tricked in months. Not like I had the time to go out or anything."

"You have to grow up, now that you're going to be a daddy," I teased, making Jasper cringe.

"Can you shut up, please? I still can't believe she convinced me."

"You're going to be great!" I walked to him, wrapping my arms around him. "The best daddy ever!"

We had breakfast, and everyone was impressed by my cooking skills. Jasper threatened to never let me go back to New York and become his personal Julia Child.

Once we were done eating, we moved to the living room. When I saw the tree I realized it was Christmas Eve. I still hadn't wrapped my presents for anyone, and next day I was supposed to give them the gifts.

"If Auntie Jane asks you to come for brunch tomorrow, will you be there? Both of you." Alec looked between Jasper and me expectantly.

"Sure, sweets."

"No bailing again? Too cold to get out of the bed?"

I felt my cheeks heat up. "It _was_ cold."

"Yeah, right." Jasper laughed, hugging me tightly against his chest. We were on the couch, me on his lap. Alec was on the other side of the couch, and Peter on the armchair.

I had no idea if they kept their distance for us, or it was really new for them and they weren't comfortable. Though, judging by last night, they shouldn't be embarrassed.

After a few mindless conversations, Peter and Alec told us how they came to date. It was apparently my fault, after all. When I didn't answer my phone one day, Alec had called Peter. I had no idea how he got the number, but I guessed it was a good explanation.

Then Alec took a psychology class at college, and called Peter for help. They kept meeting, and got talking; one thing led to another. At least, Alec promised he'd broken things off with Liam before he started anything with Peter.

I watched them as they talked, and I had to admit, I hadn't seen Alec so alive in months. As for Peter, I didn't know him well, though he was more animated than I'd ever seen him. Jasper eyed them curiously, his eyes mostly staying on Peter, especially when his friend smiled like I'd never seen him smile, and he even finished Alec's sentences. That was so fucking uncanny and cute.

It was love.

Later in the evening, when we closed the door after them, we went back to the couch. Jasper pulled me between his legs, stroking my hip absently.

"That was weird."

"A little," I admitted. "But they love each other."

"Don't be absurd."

"I'm not! Did you see them? Even with the whole room between them, they looked as if they were one well-oiled machine." I want that for us.

"Love." Jasper snorted. "If I thought I was incapable of such a thing, then I know Peter isn't cut out for this."

"Jasper, Peter loves you, he always has. Just like Alec loves me. Though, it's another kind of love than the one I have for you, or they have for each other. Does that makes sense?"

"Pretty Boy, do you want an award for saying that word a hundred times?"

"What's wrong with it? You've said it before."

"I don't plan on saying it every five seconds. When I say it, I want to fuck mean it." He tilted my head, pecking my lips. "Like this. I love you, Edward."

I almost fainted. Rolling around, I kissed him softly. "I love you too. You have no idea how much!"

He smirked, fingering my hair. "How about you show me?"

Grinning, I pushed his pants off, then undressed myself. "Don't go anywhere!" I rushed up the stairs to grab supplies.

When I returned, I found him on his stomach, hugging a cushion, his face buried into it.

"Did you fall asleep?" I poked his side. "I didn't take that long!"

Jasper shook his head.

"Okay, now turn around." I rubbed his shoulders, running a hand down his back.

He shook his head again.

I tried not to show my disappointment. "What? Did you change your mind?"

Another shake of head.

"Jasper?" I turned his head so I could see his eyes. They were wide and showing me deep inside him. There slight fear in them and some sort of excitement.

_Is this a game?_

"Come on. You promised we'll make love under the tree."

"Maybe another time,"

Frustrated, I sighed heavily, bending after my boxers.

"Did I say you could get dressed?" He grabbed my underwear, flinging it away.

"Then what the fuck do you want? You won't turn around…."

My words died down with realization. I looked between his eyes and ass.

"Really?" I squealed.

"I'll fucking kill you if you tell anyone."

"Ditto. I might embarrass myself considering I've waited for this moment for such a long time."

Jasper rubbed a hand over my thigh. "Take it slowly."

"I will! God! I love you, Jasper!"

I straddled the back of his thighs, grabbing his ass in my hands and squeezing.

"If I wanted a sphincter massage, I'd have told you."

"A what?"

"Nevermind. Just do what I taught you. Show me I've been a good teacher," he said into his arm.

I poured some lube in my palm then slowly moistured my fingers and touched his crack. Jasper jumped a little, before relaxing under my touch. I only moved my fingers over his hole, never breaching.

"Come on, Pretty Boy. Slowly."

I was actually glad he was talking me through this. We both sucked in a breath when my middle finger slipped inside.

Jasper clenched around me, making me pull my finger out. "Ow. Relax, Jasper."

"I've done this only once in my life…a very long time ago."

"Well, if you don't want…"

"I want," he said in a gruff voice. "Try again. Wait." He caught my hand, turning to look into my eyes. "Bring a toy. It might be easier."

I rushed upstairs and returned with a long, thin dildo. My hands shook as I coated it with lube, before slowly pushing it inside him.

Jasper raised his ass off the couch, moaning quietly.

All my muscles clenched as I watched the pleasure I could give Jasper. My dick leaked copious amounts of precum on the couch, but at the moment I didn't give a fuck if he'd scold me for ruining his precious piece of furniture.

I kept one hand on the side of his ass while moving the other with the dildo slowly, twisting it, in search for his gland. If I found it, I'd be so proud of myself.

When Jasper arched off the couch, I froze, unsure if it was a good or bad sign. Then he flipped around, his blue eyes smoldering. One hand came behind my neck, bringing me closer, while the other grabbed the toy, tossing it aside.

Fuck. He didn't want this anymore.

"What the fuck are you doing to me, Pretty Boy?" He rasped, pressing his forehead to mine.

"We…we can stop." I swallowed hard. _I sure hope not_ , I thought to myself. "It's clear…you don't like…this." Fuck. I hadn't been this nervous around him since we first met.

"Stop? Who said anything about stopping?" Jasper kissed me passionately. "I wanted to suggest moving the show upstairs. I'd rather not fall off the couch, or have you fall." He gave me a long look, smiling that sexy smile of his.

"Oh!" I beamed, threading my fingers through his hair. "So you like this?"

"Fucking love it. I taught you well."

"I've always been a good student," I teased, sanding up and pulling him to the stairs.

In the bedroom, I pushed him on the bed, before crawling over his legs, settling on his thighs. I caught his wrists in my hands, pinning them above his head, getting a raised eyebrow from him, but no complains. It gave me courage to lean forward and entangle my tongue with his.

Jasper groaned, pushing his hips up. His erection bumped into mine, making me shiver in pleasure.

I was so close, and if I wanted to be able to do this, I had to get a hold of myself.

"Come on, Pretty Boy. No more teasing. I've never wanted anyone to fuck me this bad. Please."

"You actually mean it?"

"Did I ever tell you something I didn't mean?"

"Definitely not." I laughed nervously. It had taken so long for him to tell me he loved me, but at least he actually meant the words when he said them. Unlike other couples where one part repeats the words, just because they were addressed to them by their lover; Jasper took his time.

I rolled a condom on my dick, placing one of his legs on my shoulder as I inched closer. I was shaking all over.

I'd never been so nervous in my life—not even when I auditioned for the opera.

Jasper's hand stopped me, pressed against my stomach. I watched him panicked, thinking he'd changed his mind.

"Relax, Edward. I know you've done this before. If you think too much of what's going on, you'll get overwhelmed and it might be over before it began."

"That's what I fear, but I can't stop thinking of this! It's you, Jasper. I'm going to be inside you."

His eyes fluttered closed, and I watched mesmerized as precum leaked out of his dick. He wanted me as much as I wanted him. Then his eyes opened. Two jewels glowing in the dark room.

"You know what? So what you come prematurely? I'm on the brink too. Besides…" He brought me closer, lining my cock to his hole. I pushed the head in, slowly. His breath hitched. "We have the rest of our lives to enjoy this," he whispered, stroking my cheek with the back of his fingers.

His words took me by surprise. I bucked into him…and that was it. I was seated deep inside Jasper.

"So…tight," I gasped, squeezing my eyes shut and falling over him. My elbows were on either side of his head.

I felt him chuckling. "How about you try moving?"

Pressing my face into the side of his neck, I pulled out a little, before sinking back. Fuck. It was better than anything else. I moved slowly, aware this was something we didn't do often. Jasper wasn't the making love type, but he'd indulged me a few times.

His hands splayed on my back, as he lifted his hips to meet me thrust for thrust. I kissed up and down the column of his throat, until I knew I couldn't hold anymore.

"Let go," he whispered in my ear.

I shuddered all over, exploding deep inside him. I felt his own hot cum on my stomach and chest, and realized he'd come without even being touched. My heart grew at how proud of my skills I was.

Jasper clasped me close to his chest after we hastily cleaned with a pillow case and threw the condom in the general way of the bathroom. He nuzzled my ear.

"I love you, Pretty Boy."

I grinned widely into his shoulder, tightening my grip on him. "I love you more than you know."

I lay there simply listening to his breath evening out as he fell asleep and his heart thumping against my cheek. This was a place where I hadn't envisioned myself.

We had so many bumps in our relationship, I was sure things would end more often than not. But I praised my stubborn nature, and Jasper's addiction to me. As much as he pushed me away, I always managed to lure him back into my arms with as much as a smile. It didn't even take me long to realize I was his weak spot, his kryptonite.

His soft snores made me smile. I kissed the center of his chest, settling better in his arms.

I had to sleep too, because a long day awaited us if we wanted to attend dinner at Alec's. I dreaded it all, but at the same time I was happy for him. He'd finally found someone, and this time I knew it was the real thing for him. Even though the real reasons behind their relationship still made me sick, I could tell Peter loved Alec, and the feeling was mutual.

As for me, I'd always known what I wanted—the amazing man under me. And I got him.

I found the treasure at the end of the rainbow, and his name was Jasper Whitlock.

**THE END**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is it...for now. I did promise Alec's outtake(s) but in the Outtakes story. This is all for the main story.
> 
> Thank you to everyone who endured their adventures and put up with Jasper's constant fuck-ups...and with putting up with me. I haven't been the best writer with this story. I lacked in answering your amazing reviews, and I know it's lame to blame work and real life, but it's overwhelming. Between squeezing some writing and sleeping in between working hours...I barely have time for much else.
> 
> I will try making time to answer your reviews to this final chapter. I really want to.
> 
> PS: One of my old stories Watermarks and Ripped Pages had been nominated for Non-Canon Awards. :) Remember to vote when it comes live (I don't know the exact date...I'm still on a high cloud at the shock of my little story being nominated).
> 
> Until next time! Kisses.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm so excited to share this new story to you all! I hope you'll enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it.
> 
> I will make a folder in my group on facebook and add there pictures. ;)
> 
> I don't have a posting schedule yet, so we'll see when the next chapter comes, could be a few days or so.


End file.
